Requiem
There is no grand
reason for humans to be on this planet. On an abstract level, I can say that we
are here ' to carry genes, mix gene pools, progress evolution to achieve
perfection and die. How does a man contribute to the greatness or virtue of the
planet anyway? Everything that we do or perform is always interlinked with other
humans. Emotions, feelings, happiness, achievement, knowledge and all of these
characteristics which differentiates men from other living creatures in this
planet aids only humans and others in their species and doesn't really offer
much to the environment. This makes me wonder of man's achievement with respect
to this planet is only with the extent he has tainted and (mis)used it.
Humanity can consider advancement in science and technology to be one of the
greatest gifts to mankind but it has the exact opposite effect to the natural
processes that our planet is constantly undergoing. When a new drug is released
which can increase life expectancy, nature is robbed off selection of fittest
opportunity. Nature gets its revenge in multitude of formats as it tries
constantly to achieve a balance.
The easiest example
which I can give at this moment is lessening of humanity amongst humans and the
social complexities which has been introduced in past few decades. When I got
call few hours before, I just got up dressed and went to work. I know that the
calls when they come from work at these odd timings that they are important. They
are not important to me, but they are important. If the person calling was
someone I knew outside the scope of my work, then maybe I would have tried to
negotiate my presence. I would have tried to prioritize the caller and based on
that I would have aptly replied. But not for the kind of job I do. Everyone around
me respects for my badge and gun. They think I am some sort of hero who breaks
downs doors, catch bad people and makes the society a better place to live in. I
let them live that fantasy but in my heart I know that I am here because the
whole socio-economic system around us is pretty much screwed. I don't have the
heart to tell them that the bad people are there because of the society itself.
They are the dirty laundry of our society. No, I don't tell them any of this. Not
because they wouldn't understand but because they don't want to. No one wants
to live in reality.
The job was very
simple; to stop a peddler meeting with the dealer. Simple, really. But unfortunately
the dealer had packed a Glock and had unleashed it on me as I had cornered him.
I took one and gave him one, which made him fall in non-breathing heap while I lay
in a mess of blood and gore and my own misery. An urgent call is made
requesting for medical assistance which I am thinking is going to be useless
given the state of my body.
Blinking lights,
concerned faces, blood soaked hands, errant tears, whispered greetings, choking
voices and sound of gentle humming. Is someone singing or is it death reckoning
me to embrace in its open arms?
Where was I? Oh yeah,
survival of the fittest doesn't fit anymore. Or maybe it does in a whole lot of
different way. It could be something like ' if you want to survive in this
society then first get detached from people around you. Maybe there was a
translation hidden for Darwinian rules in our genes and I think those genes lay
dormant in me.
It's ironic how I can
think of these things in a moment like this. I have never been a fan of
sociology but a strange fascination comes in during moments like these. Though my
eyes have started to give me hazy pictures, there is a certain level of clarity
in my thoughts. It's been told that people see their entire life flashing by
before they die and try to bargain for their life with whatever imaginary
picture of death they would have in their mind. It's surprising that I am
thinking of reasons for my existence when I am moments away from my own death.
Is it because I know
that I am dying or because I have no one left to care and I am dying alone? Dying people are alone, my mind admonishes me. True, I nod with great
difficulty. Haziness in my vision reduces as my eyes starts to close. Pain consumes
me and I succumb to darkness.
And in darkness, I find
my answers.
Sookie
Edited by Sookie* - 14 years ago
comment:
p_commentcount