Real Life Tales

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

tellyaddict

@Telly_Addict

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 16 years ago

#31

Mahika....

Hats off to u for coming up with this so nice topic..which is so real to believe...its not like any scripted serial in whcih we have to wait and speculate abt wt will happen next....but have all the real life feelings to share as a post here.....

All the above mentioned replies were so Heart touching.... that I just couldn't stop crying that someone can do all these things for Love without bothering abt society...

thanx for this gr8 topic...

Quote

MahikaL

@MahikaL

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

#32

Thanks, telly.😊 I love this thread too. I went back and reread all the posts because they were so nice.

I like to think that, as mollycoddled and overprotected as some of us can be in Indian families, it also turns us into generous people who love with our whole being, just as we have been loved as children.

Mahika.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

anusha sharma

@avi28

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

#33

lovely topic mahika,
lovely to read all ur sweet moments.

i too would like to share one of my sweet moment, but its too emotional.

mine is arranged marriage. we didn't have much courtship time. soon after the marriage we had to go to US for his project work just one month after the marriage. before marriage i didn't knew anything about cooking, but when we went to US, on festival, and for the first time i prepared special dish ( sweet pongal and vada). i myself didn't know how i did, i didn't even taste it. At last we sat at the dining table and i was serving him and my husband took one bite, i don't know why i became so emotional and started crying looking at him, my husband was so confused and asked why i was crying, then i told him next time i'll do it nicely, my husband took me near and told me no dear don,t say likethat you have done it very nicely and he wiped my tears. so sweet of him.

Quote

MahikaL

@MahikaL

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

#34

That is so sweet. Darn, now you made me cry too...

Mahika.

Quote

aviation-ca

@aviation-ca

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 16 years ago

#35

Guys, thank you sharing your private moments... Mahika, I won't lie, not every moment of the early years were bad, and these days I tend to remember only the good ones... Blokes in my case too, the mircha gang was the US consulate, separated for 7 months... but unfortunately, my in-laws worked for phone company and would insist that I talk to him from their house to save him money.... my MIL would tell him not to send any money (why waste dollar was her excuse...) and she would give me money... she gave once, then next time she made me feel like a beggar that I didn't ask after that.. I would tutor kids in dance for my teacher to earn money... my hubby was appalled went he learnt much later on...for my birthday he wanted to come to Singapore and wanted me to meet him there (sooo sweeet) ... but my SIL created such a big fuss that I refused (yeah stupid me...) but I didn't know how to convey and my SIL said she will take care of it and stupid me, I agreed, of course she made it sound that I didn't want to meet him, wanted to celebrate with my family... so of course it made him mad... and I didn't know why he was mad at me, I thought he would be happy because I listened to his family and wasn't going against their wishes...

Finally I got visa but to a school in the other part of US, 6 hours time difference... things got bad to worse... he was unhappy, I was unhappy... it was fast becoming point of no return... finally as soon as we got our GC, I said forget studies... we started living together... he was so distrustful of me that I had to practically woo him, getting early in morning, making coffee & breakfast, insist he come for lunch, cook him hot lunch... snack when he came back, house spotless clean, make him hot dinner... got some cookbooks and made various dishes... didn't bring any controversial topics, no fights... slowly after 6 months or so... he slowly started talking about the issues and we started resolving it, I would listen to him uninterrupted and he would extend the same courtsy to me... we realized how much damage had been done in the name of love...

I envy you youngsters... be wise and enjoy the journey and remember it is much easier to be happy than bitter...

Quote

devradhika4ever

@devradhika4ever

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: MahikaL
That is so sweet!😍 Poor guy must have had to fast every few days....

There are so many that come to my mind. We were such fools in love. Given that our wedding seemed a distant dream, what with parental objections and geographical distance, we walked around a tree 7 times to promise each other we would be together forever. Whenever we go back for a visit and we see that tree, we hold hands and laugh.

Mahika.

That is so beautiful, actually had tears reading this. God bless

Quote

@maan-and-geet

Voyager

Posted: 16 years ago

#37

man u all are making me sad..... got no such stories to tell.... all i know is that one day i received a phone call from my mom that telling me that she has set my engagement with her friend's son..... then asked me to apply for finance visa and then he came..... between my semester i had two weeks off.... i go home and find him in my house....... and a week later i get married......to a person i dont even know (may not be so crazy for people raised in india or pakistan) but for me born and raised in the US that was the craziest thing i have agreed to do in my life in the name of culture and family honor.

we have learned to be civil.... but no such romance...... 😒

Quote

devradhika4ever

@devradhika4ever

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

#38

I have a question for all you guys. Do you think romance can be created. Do you think its possible to be in love with someone if you don't have that right now. This is just a random question. I always wonder if romance can be created between two married people, if it doesn't already exist. I know a lot of couples who live together but are not in love. So always wonder if romance and love can be introduced to change things between them for better?

Quote

Hmmmmmmmmmm

@49erFan

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 16 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: aviation-ca
Guys, thank you sharing your private moments... Mahika, I won't lie, not every moment of the early years were bad, and these days I tend to remember only the good ones... Blokes in my case too, the mircha gang was the US consulate, separated for 7 months... but unfortunately, my in-laws worked for phone company and would insist that I talk to him from their house to save him money.... my MIL would tell him not to send any money (why waste dollar was her excuse...) and she would give me money... she gave once, then next time she made me feel like a beggar that I didn't ask after that.. I would tutor kids in dance for my teacher to earn money... my hubby was appalled went he learnt much later on...for my birthday he wanted to come to Singapore and wanted me to meet him there (sooo sweeet) ... but my SIL created such a big fuss that I refused (yeah stupid me...) but I didn't know how to convey and my SIL said she will take care of it and stupid me, I agreed, of course she made it sound that I didn't want to meet him, wanted to celebrate with my family... so of course it made him mad... and I didn't know why he was mad at me, I thought he would be happy because I listened to his family and wasn't going against their wishes...

Finally I got visa but to a school in the other part of US, 6 hours time difference... things got bad to worse... he was unhappy, I was unhappy... it was fast becoming point of no return... finally as soon as we got our GC, I said forget studies... we started living together... he was so distrustful of me that I had to practically woo him, getting early in morning, making coffee & breakfast, insist he come for lunch, cook him hot lunch... snack when he came back, house spotless clean, make him hot dinner... got some cookbooks and made various dishes... didn't bring any controversial topics, no fights... slowly after 6 months or so... he slowly started talking about the issues and we started resolving it, I would listen to him uninterrupted and he would extend the same courtsy to me... we realized how much damage had been done in the name of love...

I envy you youngsters... be wise and enjoy the journey and remember it is much easier to be happy than bitter...

So sad how inlaws can be so ruthless, Im so happy u worked things out with your hubby! SIL's r the worst I tell u, I have them too and too many, but I can handle all of them cause my husband will not let them say a word against me. That's a big plus I tell u!

Quote

koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#40

Originally posted by: devradhika4ever
I have a question for all you guys. Do you think romance can be created. Do you think its possible to be in love with someone if you don't have that right now. This is just a random question. I always wonder if romance can be created between two married people, if it doesn't already exist. I know a lot of couples who live together but are not in love. So always wonder if romance and love can be introduced to change things between them for better?

It is possible to introduce romance if u dont exactly dislike the person . I mean there r many kinds of loveless marraiges . Some r downright ugly and bad . Some r sunk in a level of indiffrence . Some r such that there is onesided attraction .........like the wife is ready to work on it but the husband is still emotionally attached to his ex girlfriend and he has married only for pleasing his parents...........or the girl is careerminded while the hubby is more of a homebody , with simpler tastes . So u see , romance ...........a purely contrived effort , can be introduced with decision in some cases and it can indeed work if one sets ones mind to it . See how aviation ca [ a most heart rending touching story ] did it .

However if the marraige has turned bitter ..........contrived romance doesn't work . I know a couple where the man made his wife give up a project in Ireland .........she was earning in pounds and more than what he earned in the US ............by giving her an ultimatum to join him in the US . She did it .......to her surprize that didnt exactly make the marraige work . The hubby obviously had many ego issues that slowlly came out .......for instance he resented the fact that she was earning more than him , he resented that she was a rank holder in the university while he wasnt........and so he had wanted to clip her wings right in the beginning so that she wud not have the ' upper hand ' in the marraige . He constantly talked to his practical shrew mom in India on Saturdays . c;loseted in a room so that his wife shudn't hear ..........and behaved coldly to her for days after those phonecalls . Listening to his mother he even behaved indiffrently to the wife's family although they tried their utmost to please his mom back in iNdia. Two children were born .......during the second child's birth she expected him to give up his travelling job and take up a project locally as she needed him in the US...........no family , her job , already one child , managing house etc ......she really needed his support . To her shock he coolly refused , and went on with his travelling job inspite of many offers locally . She remembered how she had given up her job in Ireland and reminded him that it was his turn to adjust temporarily for the family but he refused . Today her feeling about him is one of hate .............they r married , and to all practical purposes it is a marraige but when she talks to me she says that she feels better when he doesnt come home on the weekends rather than the weekends he comes home . He has never ever been there for me and is the most unemotional b...... i know ..........i dont even feel like cooking for him on the two days he comes home she says bitterly .

Marraiges like these sadden immensely.........romance , counselling , nothing works here . U see there is no domestic violence here ......these r educated people , but the emotional void is far too much . They just dont jell . Thats why , in an earlier post I said ...........inlaws , e it the girls side or boy's side ........shud keep well away from the newly married scence if possible . They hound them even in the Us on Saturday phones , insisting they shud run marraige their way . Girls moms constantttly 'advise ' the girl whereas the mother in laws try not to lose grip on their son . And in the process .........the newly married couples dont ever really get to know or even like each other as both r representatives of their families rather than individuals in their own right .

Quote

1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 9

Real Life Tales - Page 4

Related Topics

Explore Topics