Jokes - Page 149

CONTEST : IPL 2026 Prediction Game

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Netra Ramanathan

@netra_rama

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1481

Kadhal Tattuvom

Minnala partha kannu poikum,
paakkalana minnal poidum...

athey mathiri dhan

figura partha life poidum,
life'a partha figure poidum..

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jagdu

@jagdu

Dazzler

Posted: 17 years ago

#1482

Well you see, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest
and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection
is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of
the
whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills
brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

And that is why you always feel smarter after a few beers!

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jasunap

@jasunap

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#1483

good ones all round. thanks guys

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Anu

@Dits

Voyager

Posted: 17 years ago

#1484

'I'm ecstatic! i made a million pounds profit last month!'

'Honestly?'

'Now why did you have to spoil everything?'

**************************************

Before a burglary trial the judge explained to the defendant. 'You can let me try our case , or you can choose to have a jury of your peers'. The man thought for a moment. 'What are peers'? he asked. 'They are people just like you-your equals.'Forget it, ' retorted the defendant. 'I don't want to be tried by a bunch of theives!'

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malliga

@malligai

Explorer

Posted: 17 years ago

#1485

got this fwd in the mail)

Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Quote

malliga

@malligai

Explorer

Posted: 17 years ago

#1486

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Cecil's trailer house, Cecil asked: "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."

"Is that so?" snorted Cecil. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying?" asked Cecil.

The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."

Quote

malliga

@malligai

Explorer

Posted: 17 years ago

#1487

1) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun

or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need

it but the sun gives us light only in the day time

when we don't need it".

2) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on

talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".

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malliga

@malligai

Explorer

Posted: 17 years ago

#1488

Q: Why do women live longer than men?

A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?

If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.

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PM me

@Meena.IF

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

#1489

What is the height of foolishness?

Looking thro the key hole in a glass door.

How can u find out the most dull student in the class?

look for one who erases his notes when the teacher clears the blackboard.

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

Sardar ji: drrrrr....................

Interviewer: Stop it

Sardar ji: Drrr... dhup dhup dhup....

A man needs ten white sheets but he has only one... He finds that there are no shops nearby but xerox one.. He aproaches the operator and gives him the plain aheet he has and tells him "I need 9 copies. Back to back."

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@Meena.IF

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

#1490

Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Student: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.

Angry Father to his son: Have you ever seen an owl?
Son: (Luking down) No...
Father: Don't look down. Look at me.

Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Interviewee: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Jailor: You will be hanged tomorrow morning 5'0 clock
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Jailor: Why are you laughing
Sardar: I will wake up only at 9 in the morning

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
Two hours later Sardar sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.

There was a hole in Sardar's umbrella
Someone asked: Why there is hole in the umbrella
Sardar told: Oye!!How would i know if the rain stops?