Love ends for Men after......? - Page 5

Originally posted by: Sunder-Ladki

I donot think according to your deffinition any girl would like to chased and wooed by a stranger !! No wonder when anyone chases a girl or try to pass any remarks or try to tease, the boy always ends up with a girls sandal on his head or a hard slap on his face. !! I donot think "may be a few" would like any XYZ to chase them or woo them !! Ask any girl on this forum who agrees with you.!!

Originally posted by: *Woh Ajnabee*

In my opinion, lust and love are two distinct characteristics.

Pretty much what I have been saying all along.

I believe that lust is acceptable when it accompanies love, simply because loving someone more than yourself gives you the right to lust.

🤣 what happened to love being unselfish and undemanding😆 If one starts attributing "rights" and "duties" and "obligations" with love then does it stay pure love😆

On the contrary, lust without love, is nothing but another downfall of human nature, call it what you will -- casual sex, etc.

Why is it a downfall if it's amongs two consenting adults? Lust is as basic to humans as hunger and thirst.

In all honesty, I don't have any evidence to back up my definition of love and lust. Simply because they correlate with my conservative thought process. Right or wrong, I really don't know, but if we were to choose between the two, most would pick love over lust. Again, because love can embody lust and in some ways justify it, but lust cannot make up for the lack of love and emotional attachment.

We all are entitled to our opinions and yours are as valid for you as mine are for me. Still, I fail to understand why is it okay to attach lust and rights with love but consider lust to be downfall of mankind?

As far as the "desi" mentality goes, call it old-fashioned if you will, but it is what it is. We have families being raised on these mentalities, quite profoundly, if you ask me.

More than old fashioned, I see most desis as hypocritical. Okay to pass on lust by attaching it to that concept of love without being sure whether they were just physically attracted or emotionally involved. Escapism at its best.

As far as how most of the families are raised - well, they are raised by evading discussion on some key biological aspects of growing up. That doesn't make those aspects go away though.

As far as why can't we grow up on DM goes -- only because some of us haven't grown up, you're dealing with people of all ages, that's all. Maturity doesn't always correlate with age, and we have numerous examples of that.

All those members who "haven't grown up" yet --- how many of them are not getting what ahem ahems are all about here? If they know what they refer to, how does it matter whether we use the actual term or keep on going around beating the bush?

That said, isn't it a given that teens on internet should use their own descrition based on their parental directions and their own beliefs? As far as maturity not corelating with age - I agree with you here. Still, I fail to understand how calling "sex" or "physical relationship" "ahem" when everyone here understands what "ahem" stands for makes this topic an appropriate one for all age groups. Like I said - desi escapism at its best😆

But hey, what do I know?

Oh, most of us are with you on this one. What do we know😆

nvmd 😊

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

DISCLAIMER - none of my posts are aimed at anyone here who used ahems. My posts and queries are aimed more towards the Indian mentality when it comes to seeing thing the way they are than anything else. I am questioning the Indian mindset of considering anything related to sexuality as unpious or ultra modern or plain wrong. Just imagine this attitude that is so prevalent in a nation that boasts of being the second largest populous nation in the world😆 Don't you see the disconnect I see here😆

As far as the topic, well, if love ends for either men and women after one time making out then was it love to begin with. This is the drivel of my posts. This along with acknowledging that there's really nothing wrong with just lust as long as both adults are consenting and not misleading each other. Since thread is singling out men who lose interest after making out or who were in that relationship with the sole objective of making out, I would like to add that this Indian trend of avoiding any discussion on sexuality or addressing kids' questions on sexuality is the one big reason why many girsl grow up with starry eyes and Mills & Boon definition of love ( the definition WA gave above - if you love someone, you gain the right to lust for them). This is one reason why many young girls get taken for a ride too since they can't distinguish between actual motives behind all that sweet talk. Takes them a while to get the drift and by the time they get it, it's usually too late for them.

I am not saying only guys indulge in such practices. If girls are ignorant and let guys take them for a ride, we can't keep on blaming just the guys then. Additionally, pleasure, whether momentary or permanent, is not one sided. So, who are we to say who got taken for a ride or not. Why do people perceive the girl getting used here when, truth might be, that the guy was getting taken for a ride all along? Why these double standards for guys and gals in our culture?

Originally posted by: sandya_rao7

well i agree to most of the part but i wont blame everything on girls. just because girls are roamntics and dreamers does not mean they need to subject to such behaviour. moreover their being optimistic and believing in goodness of human beings does not dimisnish the wrong doings of any guy. if girls need to be taught to be cautious then even guys need to be taught to respect girls and be honest. not saying something else and meaning something else.

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

Mind elaborating on the bolded part? I'm lost here.

I was not questioning whther love and lust are distinguished in our "culture" per sey. I was questioning the desi mindset where people often use them intercganheably --- and most often they replace "love" for "lust" because just lust, even though well defined, is not that acceptable in our culture.

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

I am with you here. I am not saying that blame lies only with the girls when they get taken for a ride. I am saying that we can't pin the entire blame on the guy either. We can't ignore the fact that it takes two to tango and one should keep their guard on to not fall for the oldest trick in the bag that most guys use.

Apart from shared responsibilty, I also think the pleasure is shared as well --- something our culture hesitates in admitting. One should not be posing as a victim if they were also the PIC.

Hey Sandhya, 8 oscars for SDM😃

Originally posted by: sandya_rao7

True just what i said.

congratualtions for 8 oscars. garibi bikti hai.😆