since we were discussing about the song from aamir, i thought i'll post this here....
Well this is not exactly a ff…
This is something I wrote after I heard about all the unfortunate events and some heart wrenching stories recently…I am just venting out my feelings which were bottled up, coz this is one of the ways I know….to express it in writing.
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EK LAU IS TARAH KYUN BUJI MERE MAULA?
The sunset, the most beautiful sight on earth, the place where the sun just disappears into the sea, taking with it the entire light with a promise of a better tomorrow is something definitely worth a watch and it looks even more beautiful when watched from the sea shore.
She was looking at the sunset, seated on the ground, with her hands clutched tightly on her knees and thinking hard about something.
For a professional photographer, this would seem like a perfect picture for the cover of a magazine of how to bust stress….
For an artist, this would seem like a living portrait….
For a poet, this is poetry in the making…
For an ordinary seaside vendor, she is just another customer….
People and perceptions!!! They always conflict!!
Nobody knew at present as to what she was thinking? Where her mind was? What her plans were? The silent battle in her mind…And most importantly no one also noticed the silent tears that fell from her eyes…
"Mama kya kar rahi ho? Dekha ghar toot raha hai?"
She came out of her thoughts and turned towards her little baby girl who was playing beside her, trying to make a sand castle…she smiled a bit, sadly though and wiped away the threatening tears…and helped her baby to build the castle….
The castle broke again….and the child cribbed….
"mama tikk se nahi ho raha hai…aapko aata nahi hai kuch bhi…papa hote tho woh tikk se karte!" the baby said angrily and once again tears threatened to fall. She tried to hold them back with little success.
How could she tell her baby that her dad is not going to return…how could she tell her baby that similar to this sand castle, their house and it's foundation have also shattered…how could she tell her child that her father had gone to a place from where there is no return….she couldn't just couldn't!
So she turned towards her child and said, "nidhi beta! Chalo phir se try karte hain..is baar mama pakka tikk se pakadoongi ok" and smiled.
Little nidhi agreed cheerfully.
And they began to build the castle again.
Nidhi will turn three in a month and was her father's darling. She loved her father too…she knew nothing about her father's work but had heard from her mother and grandparents that he was a very brave man, a courageous soldier.
What nidhi dint understand was that why her father was not coming home these days…why he is not putting her to sleep? And why is it that everybody in her house, her mother and grandmother were always crying.
Nidhi had asked her mother where her papa was, to which her mother just smiled and said that her father had went to a distant place and some day even nidhi and she will go there. She told nidhi that her papa was a very good person and so God wanted to keep her papa with him and so had called him.
Nidhi thought that it was a good thing if God liked her papa and did not complain about his absence anymore.
Her mother however knew that once she grows, she will know and may be with time she would begin to accept it, as of now she did not wish to discuss this with her toddler…
She was again lost in memories, her only friends for now….
Their's was not a love marriage, in fact she had not seen him before their marriage but after marriage it was different. He had given her everything, the love, the relationships, the ties, the strength, the promises, the respect in the society and most importantly their child!
She and her baby were sleeping in their house on that unfortunate day when he went for duty, unknowing about the danger that clouded him. Later when she was told by his colleagues that he had died in an encounter trying to save some innocent people, she at first thought it was some dirty joke…but it was not!
Or perhaps it was a dirty joke, a cruel one by life on her.
Her whole world shattered to pieces that day, her hopes seemed to slip away before her eyes and she had never felt so helpless in her life ever!
Later the rescued victims had come to meet her and offer their respects to the brave man who died their death, she had simply nodded…unable to do anything else.
Was life cruel to her, wasn't it injustice that someone that some people died the death of others, wasn't it wrong that people could think of snatching away a life without any second thoughts??
She feels that every life is a gift from God and nobody but the giver has the right to take also….it should be as simple as that. With so much of violence and animosity, she is scared, scared for their future, scared about the prospect of whether life would see another day and doubtful of whether the sacrifices of men, like her husband is all worth it?
But finally today she feels proud! Proud that she was the partner of such a brave man, one who did not hesitate to perform his duty, one who laid his life down in an effort to protect others, his one act has secured many families….
She was again disturbed from her thoughts by the uneven voices emerging behind her, startled she looks out there and saw a big rally…a large stage…loads of people probably spectators and a leader just being escorted to stage.
She watches the drama unfold…the leader(dealer) reads out a very well written, compassionate, heart wrenching speech raising his voice to the maximum to the extent that the microphone allows him to…and she stares at him…
He reads out the list of martyrs and somewhere in that she hears her husband's name too and she lets out a laugh, yes she doesn't cry but simply laughs, a scornful laugh that says it all…what could've she expected from them anyway!
She decided that it was certainly time to leave, she is not going to expose her child to any of these…mere politics and pretence.
She picked up her baby and walked off from there….
Little Nidhi rested her head on her mama's shoulder and was watching the waves, suddenly a huge wave came and swallowed their sand castle, taking it with it inside.
"mama mama! humare ghar ko usne kha liya" and she cried.
She looked back at the castle which had mere remains of it by the shore and then said to nidhi, "beta aap jante hai aisa kyun hua?"
"nahi!" and nidhi nodded her head in a no.
"aapke ghar ko sagar ma andhar legayi kyunki aapke papa ne unse kaha tha…"
"papa ne" and her face broke into a smile.
"haan aapke papa ne sagar ma se kaha ki 'ye meri nidhi baby ka ghar hei…ise sambhal kar rakhiye…jab meri baby badi ho jaayegi aur jab bohat achi bachi banegi tab aap use de dijiye' aur isliye sagar ma ghar ko andhar le gayi" she said to nidhi who was listening in awe.
"oh papa ne kaha hai…toh tikk hai" she said delightfully and turning towards the sea, nidhi said "sagar ma, aap papa se kehna ki nidhi gud girl hai aur mama ko tang nahi kar rahi…aur maine doodh bhi piya hai aaj aur papa se kehna ki nidhi aur mama aur dadoo,dadi bhi unhe mish kar rahe hai aur haan papa se kehna ki nidhi loves papa" and she smiled proudly at herself.
She smiled at her child's innocence and was determined all over again to protect her from all the evil in the world. Life would never be the same for them again…but they could atleast try!
They walked back, with their steps being brushed off by the waves and they headed towards their house…..
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I certainly don wish to hurt anybody's sentiments with this…if I have, I am truly sorry....
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