Deepika: From sexy to sexist? - Page 3

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LifeOLicious thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#21

Originally posted by: Meena_A

if women start imitating men, then what difference will there be left? where will the feminism characteristics of a female go?
but when it comes to mentality, personality, values, THAT is when women should prove themselves
physical attraction and shedding clothes effect will be temporary, but a strong mind and personality wil have a much longer, and maybe even eternal effect 😊



Yes honey that's true. Absolutely. And you are right when you say our psyche is different. But there is a but. After reading all the comments and all...I think that what Deepika said is not untrue or blatantly wrong...of course sometimes the way you carry yourself can invite trouble. However, It gives a lot of people more reason to put the blame on the women.

Look at it this way...an eve teaser teases you (you are regular wearing regular clothes and you are not even pretty). You say he teased you. He says you asked for it...why? Coz you were not wearing a burka...if you wore in a burka he wouldn't be aroused. So where do you draw the line?? That's why that statement is troublesome. It's not wrong...but it's definitely troublesome. Especially coming from someone as popular as her!!
apux thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#22
Why don't we just cover women up from head to toe....so men don't get sexually attracted, which will lead to rape...


Most rapes do not happen with strangers....it happens with non-strangers usually at the victim's house or a friend or relatives's house....

Rape is about control, not sex....so its definitely not about how a woman dressed half naked turns a guy on....

About Deepika's comment....I don't think she meant the comment to be sexist, though I don't agree with it....Agree, you should follow these values but don't be surprised that women who carry themselves well do get raped as well....
Edited by apux - 17 years ago
ShadowKisses thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#23

Originally posted by: Meena_A

I disagree with you on THAT statement.
the psychological attraction of a man and a woman are different
if a woman is walking down the street wearing revealing clothes and a bunch of men are also walking down the street, what are her chances of her getting raped?
But likewise, if a man wears revealing clothes and walks down the street and bunch of woman are also walking towards him, what are HIS chances of getting raped by those woman?
its not about treating geneders uneuqually, this is just the law of nature, and also very psychological
besides, if a woman really wants to prove herself strong and independent, she need not shed clothes to be like men
instead she should have a strong mind, a strong personality, a good education, great moal values
THOSE are the factors that will REALLY prove her strenght
if women start imitating men, then what difference will there be left? where will the feminism characteristics of a female go?
but when it comes to mentality, personality, values, THAT is when women should prove themselves

In response to your first question - it depends on the men, their mentality and so on. Second question - is there really a way for women to rape men? =S Anyhow, it still depends on the women, their mentality et cetera.
What I meant by that statement was it was hypocritical to place restrictions on the clothing of women to ostensibly "prevent" them from being raped whereas no restrictions are ever placed on the men (not necessarily in the clothing aspect). From a pragmatic viewpoint, those who are inclined towards rape will commit the act regardless of the clothing their victim is wearing. People (both genders) should be free to wear whatever they want - whenever they want - and not be blamed for a heinous act such as rape.
I really don understand what you mean by "if women start imitating men, then what difference will there be left? where will the feminism characteristics of a female go?" If they feel like wearing clothing that could potentially be considered "revealing", it's their choice not an imitation of the male species. If clothing defines "female characteristics", then there is obviously something wrong in that.
"Moral values" and "strong personality" are obscure terms, especially moral values. They vary from person to person. What you might consider a "good moral value" might not be an exemplary value to several other groups of people. That is neither here nor there, however.
[quote=Meena_A]physical attraction and shedding clothes effect will be temporary, but a strong mind and personality wil have a much longer, and maybe even eternal effect 😊[/quote]
No arguments there.
353590 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#24

Originally posted by: ShadowKisses

In response to your first question - it depends on the men, their mentality and so on. Second question - is there really a way for women to rape men? =S Anyhow, it still depends on the women, their mentality et cetera.
now that is exactly what I meant
most women (most not all) don't have that much physical strenght to go on and rape a man
whereas a man COULD rape woman if he wants to (its a common known fact)
What I meant by that statement was it was hypocritical to place restrictions on the clothing of women to ostensibly "prevent" them from being raped whereas no restrictions are ever placed on the men (not necessarily in the clothing aspect). From a pragmatic viewpoint, those who are inclined towards rape will commit the act regardless of the clothing their victim is wearing. People (both genders) should be free to wear whatever they want - whenever they want - and not be blamed for a heinous act such as rape.
But see that is EXACTLY why some socities and religions and cultures PUT restrction on woman to be covered
because they are obviously more likely to be raped and molested if they reveal themselves
now I do agree with you that clothing is not the FULL reason that rape happens
ofcourse there are other factors involved like you said, the mentality of the rapist, the way a woman acts (if she is seducing him and he rapes her, then she was obviously "inviting" him )
clothing is just ONE pience of the whole puzzle, but it is indeed a very big one
think about it, if a woman began to cover more, would't that REDUCE her chances of getting attacked?
Ofcourse the danger will always be there, but just this one single factor (wearng less revealng clothes) could make a huge difference
I live in America, that too suburban Los Angeles, alot of times I see a guy jogging down the road earing no t-shirt or banyan, yet I have NEVER seen a girl wear a bra and jogging down the street
now people could easily quesiton why the inequality THERE?
and the answer is quite obvious, that if a woman were to wear a bra-type top ad jog down the street, it would be much dangerous for her than a man jogging down the street wearing no-shirt or banyan
or even at high school football games, guys come in all shirtless and cheer for their team, while the same is not allowed for the girls (to just come in wearing a bra)
I really don understand what you mean by "if women start imitating men, then what difference will there be left? where will the feminism characteristics of a female go?" If they feel like wearing clothing that could potentially be considered "revealing", it's their choice not an imitation of the male species. If clothing defines "female characteristics", then there is obviously something wrong in that.
no arguments here 😃
its just that in my opinion, I see it all around me, alot of woman think that JUST because a man CAN wear revealing clothes and a woman cannot, that means woman are considered unqual and so woman should ALSO reveal JUST so they can be equal to the male species
again that is the way I see it
"Moral values" and "strong personality" are obscure terms, especially moral values. They vary from person to person. What you might consider a "good moral value" might not be an exemplary value to several other groups of people. That is neither here nor there, however.
by moral values I meant general ethics, for example not stealng, being honest, being sincere, respecting your elders, doing justice
these are some ethics and values that even an atheist who does not believe in religion or God would agree with
now there are circumstances where a person might have to bend their moral values, in that case no one has the right to judge them because we don't know what that peson is going through
but coming back to the topic, I meant that a woman should be dignified and classy, which are some general moral values thought by almost all societies 😊

Edited by Meena_A - 17 years ago
Zareena thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#25
Even the females who wear sarees, do get rape. Either deepika wasn't sure what she is talking about or she is showing her true personality.
293418 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#26
^Zareena, I completely agree with you on that. Deepika either was misquoted or said something really stupid. And ShadowKisses, I could not agree more with what you have said except to say, that is absolutely right. To all of you making the wearing the proper amount of clothes is the answer, I would strongly disagree. No one asks to get mistreated. You do not bring it on. Even if we take all of the so-called precautions, this stuff does not happen. Some people have bad intentions and do bad things. But to blame the victim is nonsense. It does not help solve anything but absolves the perpetrator of blame, and that is not right. And I live in one of the most conservative red states in the U.S., and have seen women run in a sportsbra and shorts in my neighborhood. People do not care, and no one bothers them either. Before I get excused of bringing something not Bollywood related, I think this is relevant to the discussion. Something I read on the BBC on the sexual harrassment in Egypt (a fairly conservative country) puts this into perspective.
Participants in the survey were shown pictures of women wearing different kinds of dress - from the mini skirt to the niqab (full face veil) and asked which were more likely to be harassed.

More than 60% - including female respondents - suggested the scantily clad woman was most at risk. But in reality the study concluded the majority of the victims of harassment were modestly dressed women wearing Islamic headscarves.

https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7514567.stm
ajooni thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#27

Did any one talk about rape?Is that the subject of the article?Is it the same thing as women being treated badly at a work place..be it the bollywood casting couch or being conned into doing things she may be uncomfortable doing it...

Was there any talk of a dress code?revealing clothes or covering up.
These are 2 very different things..getting wolf whistles on the road is yet another.
Deepika is talking about harassment at workplace... .As cinnamonrani pointed out..the predators' victims are almost always the weak and timid ones ones.You follow a certain ground rules,chances of your falling victim is much less.
madiha_17 thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#28

i thnk deepika simply meant that a woman needs to project herself with such a confidence so that no one can try to cheat on her. she might be giving a reference through her own profession. there must not be an issue of revealing clothes or wearing a bikni as she herself has sported that. And why to just put down Deepika here? I see tons of hatered for Ash just becoz she has dated as many guys as she felt.. she dumped salman vivek n God knowss for whatever reason she has to be criticized in a negavtive tone for like everyday!! We overlook the same males who cheat on with their wives n settle down with another young girl.. Now think of the fact frm where the hypocrisy starts!! Revealing clothes is just another matter.. And yes these kinda mishap happens more due to the mentality of a next person!

But what is such a hardcore necessity that a woman has to sell her moral just for the sake of some success ( Giving a reference of what I read abt some dirty gossips of Madhuri, sri devi and etc.) If u r being enuff confident abt ur strenght, u'll never need to be the slave of someone's favour.. and just for the lack of confidence in urself, here some of those mentioned woman loose their dignity n a respectful status! I m very much sure that deepika was actually trying to mean that but was justnt being enuff clear with her msg..
353590 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#29
ok I really think I went overboard with rape and all that sorry guys 😊
IMO all factors have to be taken in
yes if a man harrases a woman, its mainly due to HIS mentality, but the way a woman projects herself also plays a huge part
I agree with Madiha, to me it also seems that all Deepika was trying to say is that a girl should be strong enough so a man would not dare to do such things with her 😊
nonetheless sexual harrasement happens even then, so at the end of the day, it really is the man's fault
Edited by Meena_A - 17 years ago
293418 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#30
Alright, ladies, I think we have a truce here. And our opinions are probably more in line with each other than we previously thought. That being said I thought this was a healthy discussion on all sides. 👏
👏
Edited by cinnamonrani - 17 years ago

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