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Understanding and Preventing Image-Based Sexual Abuse
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Understanding and Preventing Image-Based Sexual Abuse
The shadowy world of abandoned oil tankers
Over the past year there has been a big rise in the number of oil tankers and other commercial ships being abandoned around the world by their owners. What is causing the spike? And what is the human impact on the affected merchant sailors?
Ivan (not his real name), spoke to me last month from an oil tanker that lies abandoned outside the territorial waters of China. He is a senior deck officer.
"We had a shortage of meat, grain, fish, simple things for survival," said the Russian officer. "It's affected our health and our operational atmosphere.
"The crew was hungry, the crew was angry, and we tried to survive only day-by-day."
The ship, which we are not naming to protect Ivan, is loaded with nearly 750,000 barrels of Russian crude oil with a nominal value of around $50m (£37m). It had set sail from Russia's Far East for China in early November.
It was reported abandoned in December, by global trade union organisation the International Transport Workers' Federation (ITF), after the crew said they had not been paid for months.
The vessel remains in international waters. Such is the level of scrutiny surrounding it that China is understood to be unwilling to allow it into port.
However, the ITF has intervened to get Ivan and his colleagues paid up to December, and arranged for food, drinking water and other essentials to be sent to the ship.
While some crew members have been repatriated, most, like Ivan, are still on board.
Back in 2016, 20 ships were abandoned around the world, according to the ITF. In 2025 the number had ballooned to 410, with 6,223 merchant seamen falling victim. Both of those figures for last year were up by almost a third on 2024.
Geopolitical instability is said to have been a driving factor of the increase in recent years. Widespread conflicts around the world and the Covid pandemic have triggered supply chain disruption and wild variation in freight costs, meaning some operators are struggling to stay afloat.
But the ITF says the growing prevalence of so-called "shadow fleets" could be contributing to the big spike last year.
These ships, typically oil tankers such as the one Ivan is stuck on, are more often ageing vessels of obscure ownership, unseaworthy, likely uninsured, and operationally hazardous. And they typically sail under flags of convenience or FOCs - the ships are registered in countries with very limited regulatory oversight.
The shadow fleet vessels are trying to stay under the radar to help countries such as Russia, Iran and Venezuela export their crude in contravention of Western sanctions.
Take the case of Russia. Following its invasion of Ukraine in February 2022, it has faced sanctions that capped the price it can charge for its crude.
But Russia has found buyers willing to pay a higher price, such China and India, though the latter has now pledged to cease purchases under the terms of a recent US trade deal.
FOCs have been flown by merchant ships for more than a century, as a means for owners to skirt laws and regulations at home. In the 1920s, it was common for American-owned passenger ships to register in Panama to bypass US prohibition laws and sell alcohol on board.
Panama, Liberia and the Marshall Islands are the most common FOC states, representing 46.5% of all merchant ships by weight, but The Gambia has become a player in recent years.
In 2023 there were no oil tankers registered to The Gambia, but by March last year it had become paper-host to 35 such vessels. Host nations enjoy sizeable fees.
FOC vessels feature prominently in abandonment. In 2025 they accounted for 337 ships, or 82% of the total. The number of shadow-fleet ships among this number is unclear, but such is the poor state of these vessels and the sketchy ownership structures behind them, it would appear to expose these crafts and their crews to greater risk.
The International Maritime Organisation (IMO) guidance is that a seafarer is abandoned when their shipowner fails to cover the cost of his or her repatriation, or has left them without the necessary maintenance and support, or has otherwise unilaterally severed ties with them. The latter includes failure to pay contractual wages for a period of at least two months.
The ITF's General Secretary Stephen Cotton tells the BBC that "abandonment isn't an accident". He adds: "Seafarers don't really know where they're going.
"They sign a contract, they go to somewhere else in the world, and they're confronted by lots of different challenges."
Last year abandoned merchant navy crews around the world were owed a total of $25.8m, according to data from two UN agencies, the IMO, and the International Labour Organization.
The ITF claims they have recovered and returned nearly two thirds of this, $16.5m. The wage arrears on Ivan's ship were in the region of $175,000 at the time of the ITF's initial involvement.
The most affected nationality for maritime abandonment in 2025 were Indian sailors, accounting for 1,125, or 18% of the total. Filipinos (539) and Syrians (309) come second and third.
In September last year, to protect its important seafaring community, the Indian government blacklisted 86 foreign vessels over seafarer abandonment and rights-violation issues. Investigations found many of them had untraceable owners or no response from flag states.
Mark Dickinson is the general secretary of Nautilus International, a trade union for maritime professionals.
He blames these FOC states for "a complete derogation of responsibility" towards their merchant fleets and the crews who sail on them.
He says there must be "a genuine link between ship owners and the flags under which they sail". This link is already mandated under international maritime law, but there is no universally-agreed definition.
Ivan's ship was sailing under a false Gambian flag, unregistered and unknown to The Gambia. It has since been provisionally accepted under the flag of another African nation that it is said to have opened a formal inquiry into the vessel.
ITF inspector Nathan Smith tells me that he expects the tanker's fate will be resolved only when the oil is transferred off the ship through a ship-to-ship transfer in open sea.
Ivan says that in the future he will check more carefully about any ship crew he joins.
"For sure I will have a proper discussion about the vessel's condition, about payment and provisions. And turn to the internet, where we can see which vessels are banned, which vessels are under sanction."
Seafarers like Ivan are often at the mercy of the contracts available. With shadow-fleet voyages a key feature of the supply chain for Russian oil, greater international cooperation will be needed to protect seafarers from the inherent risks of maritime service.
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How to network when you’re socially anxious
Do networking events fill you with dread? Here’s how to manage your fears, show up, and take advantage of the opportunities
by Fallon Goodman, clinical psychologist
Your social anxiety nightmare has arrived: an email inviting you to attend a networking event pops into your inbox.
Networking events are a special breed of social interaction that are packed with ingredients that trigger social anxiety. The goal is to ‘network’ – something you’re told you should do to advance your career – but it’s hard to know what success looks like. When the stakes feel high and the criteria for doing well are ambiguous, each interaction can feel consequential.
Worse, networking events are often designed to feel casual on the surface, but there’s a shared understanding that everyone is there to advance their own goals (which may or may not be symbiotic). The rules of engagement are unclear.
For someone with social anxiety, these interactions can feel less like relationship-building opportunities and more like a game with hidden rules. Evaluation fears are heightened (‘Am I making a good impression?’) and self-monitoring ramps up (‘Did I just say something stupid?’).
As you stare at the invitation, you cycle through what-ifs (what could go wrong) and flash back to prior networking events – the staccato conversations, the awkward introductions and the uncertain expectations. You feel a familiar sense of dread.
And yet, alongside the what-ifs are the what-could-bes (all the promises that the event holds). If you’re honest with yourself, you see opportunities: learning something new, strengthening a relationship or starting a collaboration. Who knows? The event may even spark your next big idea.
This Guide offers step-by-step guidance for managing social anxiety at a networking event. I’ve worked with many people who dreaded big-stakes social events and felt overwhelmed at even the thought of going. The key is to break it down into stages (before, during and after the event) and zoom in on micro-moments that trigger anxiety. With small tweaks to your approach – and a bit of social courage – you can navigate situations that typically derail you, and give yourself a chance to take advantage of the what-could-bes.
Key points
Networking events are packed with ingredients that can trigger social anxiety. As if in a game with hidden rules, you might experience heightened fears of being evaluated and feel your self-monitoring ramp up.
Make a game plan before you go. Begin managing your anxiety by getting ahead of it. Decide how long you’ll stay and set yourself some achievable and measurable goals, such as introducing yourself to two new people or asking at least one question.
Prepare your go-to greeting style for one-on-one encounters. Planning ahead can help you avoid awkward introductions. Go for something simple (eg, ‘Hi, I’m Raj! What’s your name?’ and extend your hand for a handshake).
Ask questions with warmth and openness. Fear of criticism might tempt you to hold back from questions you want to ask. Remind yourself that asking a question is your goal and a risk you’re willing to take. Curiosity-based questions tend to work better than questions with a challenging tone.
Find natural entry points to join group conversations. Look for brief pauses or comments that you can naturally build upon. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you need to make a brilliant contribution – enter with something like ‘I agree’ to get yourself going.
Navigate side conversations. If a side-conversation pops up that seems valuable, signal your interest by turning your body towards the new group and make appropriate eye contact. If your attention drifts back to the main conversation, that’s fine too, but don’t try to juggle two conversations at once.
Be honest with yourself when choosing where to sit at meals. If your social battery is genuinely tapped out, it’s fine to sit alone and decompress. But if you have the energy for it, try challenging yourself to join others and keep your earlier goals in mind.
Shift your attention away from how you’re eating. Mealtimes can be a minefield for socially anxious people. Remember eating and drinking in front of others isn’t a performance. Try to shift your attention away from yourself and toward the taste of the food and the environment around you.
After it’s all over, play a version of the Two Truths and a Lie game. Jot down things you’re replaying or worrying about from the event. Sort through them and find two things that really didn’t go so well (rarely do social interactions go perfectly) and one lie – that is, an interpretation you’ve made that’s unrealistically catastrophic. Try to replace it with a more accurate and fair interpretation.
Before you go
One of the best ways to manage social anxiety is to get ahead of it. Before you enter the ring of fire, make a game plan. The event will be filled with unknowns, so start by controlling the controllables.
Set a minimum time
Decide how long you’ll stay. There’s no magic number, but if you’re serious about tackling your social anxiety, the longer the better.
Devise an exit strategy
Decide how you’ll leave. Perhaps you leave after a specific event, when the crowd thins out, or with a friend as they head out.
Set goals that are achievable, behavioural, personal and values-driven
Achievable goals are realistic given your circumstances and skills. Challenge yourself, but don’t set yourself up to fail by shooting for the moon. For example, you could aim to stay in a conversation for at least 5 minutes.
Behavioural goals are things you do that can be measured. It is normal to set emotion-based goals like ‘don’t get embarrassed’, but those are difficult to achieve; we can’t simply turn down the dial on an emotion. Instead, set goals on things you can control: what you say, how you say it, and to whom. This way, the event can be successful even if you felt anxious or uncomfortable. For example, you could ask at least one open-ended question (eg, ‘What brought you here?’) in each conversation.
Personal goals are specific to you and not contingent on other people. A goal like ‘make a good impression’ rests on someone else’s judgments. You can boost your odds of making a good impression by doing things like asking thoughtful questions, but ultimately people decide for themselves. Instead, you could set a goal to introduce yourself to two new people.
Values-driven goals are those that align with what matters most to you. These goals help you act in line with the person you want to be rather than in response to anxiety. One way to set values-driven goals is to ask yourself: in an ideal world, what do you want to get out of this event, and what do you need to do to achieve that? For example, if you value making a contribution, you could share one idea or perspective in a conversation, even if you worry about how it will be received.
Navigating the tricky and sticky elements of networking events
Showing up is half the battle, but there’s a lot to navigate during networking events. You have one-on-one conversations during which you have no buffer. You alone are responsible for carrying the conversation, and there is nowhere to hide; the spotlight is on you. Then you have group encounters, which require you to navigate fast-moving social dynamics. And then there are the networking meals, with endless possible seating configurations, and the special treat of eating and drinking in front of others.
Let’s tackle some common pressure points in each of these encounters.
The one-on-one encounter
Initiating a conversation. You encounter a new face and wonder: ‘Should I introduce myself? Wait, have I met them before?! Do I shake their hand, go in for a hug, or do the quick hand flip plus head nod plus restrained smile combo?’ You can overcome this panicky indecision by preparing ahead of time and selecting your go-to greeting and introduction. Aim to keep it simple (eg, ‘Hi, I’m Raj! What’s your name?’ and extend your hand for a handshake). And remember: introductions are built into the fabric of networking, so introducing yourself to others is within the expected social norms.
Asking a question. You’ve made it past the intro and you’re in a conversation that could spark curiosity or ideas. Questions fill your mind, but your social anxiety keeps you stuck. You may doubt your question (‘Will this make me sound uninformed?’) or worry you’ll get a disappointing or judgmental response. When the self-doubt bubbles up, remind yourself that asking the question is the goal. That’s the social risk you’re willing and able to take – and you can handle whichever answer you get. Chances are that you will get a warmer, more supportive response than you anticipate. People with social anxiety tend to overestimate how critical others will be. When you ask your question, lead with warmth and openness. Curiosity-based questions (eg, ‘I was wondering if you could share your thoughts about X?’) usually work better than questions with more of a challenging tone (eg, ‘Why did you do X?’).
The group encounter
Finding your in. After some one-on-one encounters, you find yourself in a small circle of people. The conversation is moving quickly, and you haven’t said anything. Your social anxiety tells you that staying silent is safest because fewer contributions mean fewer opportunities for rejection. The problem is, staying silent comes with its own risks. You may appear disinterested, aloof, meek or arrogant. So, you start looking for an in, but you don’t want to risk interrupting someone or speaking at the same time as someone else. Start by observing the flow of conversation. Look for a natural entry point, such as a brief pause or comment that you can easily build on. Enter with something simple like ‘I agree’ or ‘That makes sense’ to get yourself going, then perhaps offer a simple add-on (eg, briefly describe a similar experience you had) or ask a clarifying question. Don’t fall into the mental trap that you need to contribute something brilliant. It’s fine if your goal is as simple as getting involved.
Managing side conversations. In group encounters, attention is often divided as people can talk to each other or to the larger group. Side conversations naturally emerge, which may trigger people with social anxiety to feel excluded. If a side conversation pops up next to you that seems interesting or valuable, signal your interest by turning your body towards the new group and make appropriate eye contact. When you’re ready, find your in. As the side conversation goes on, you may find your attention drifting back towards the ongoing conversation of the larger group. You’re in a win-win here: shifting dynamics are simply a part of the social group experience. But rather than juggling too much at once, try to stay connected to one conversation at a time.
The networking meal
Choosing a seat. Many networking events involve a scheduled lunch or dinner. Faced with an array of tables set for participants, you do a quick scan and notice two options: sit alone or with strangers. You weigh the costs. If you sit alone, you’ll escape conversation but worry others will judge you for being isolated (especially if all the other tables fill up) – and you might not fulfil your goals for the event. On the other hand, if you sit with strangers, you’re entering the Wild West of socialising. Your tablemates might be rude, dismissive, or completely ignore you – a form of ostracism that would probably feel worse than voluntary isolation. So, your choice isn’t straightforward. Opting for more socialising is not necessarily better. I suggest asking yourself whether your social battery is really tapped out. If you spent the morning networking, you might feel exhausted and the lunch window could help you to decompress and recharge. If not, are you tempted to eat alone purely as an attempt to avoid social interaction? If you have the energy for it, I recommend challenging yourself to dine with others and keep the goals you set earlier in mind – such as developing a new relationship or sharing an idea. Once you’ve made up your mind (to sit alone or join others), there’s no perfect choice of seat, so here’s where you might want to leave it up to the universe and pick at random.
Eating and drinking in front of others. This is a manifestation of social anxiety that people don’t often talk about. You may worry about judgment for your food choices, food getting stuck in your teeth (and – gasp! – nobody telling you), or spilling your drink. Keep this in mind: eating/drinking in front of others isn’t a performance – it’s a shared and universal human activity. To avoid excessive self-monitoring, practise shifting your attention away from how you are eating to the taste of the food and the environment around you. Perhaps choose low-risk foods that are easy to manage and eat neatly (eg, no sandwiches) and easy to digest (eg, avoid spicy or heavy foods). Hold your drink in your dominant hand and sip rather than guzzle. These approaches are not avoidance; they are a strategic scaffolding. Keep it simple.
Once it’s all over
You know what’s coming after a stressful social event: rumination. Your mind starts replaying each moment on a loop. You focus on moments that didn’t go well – which, your socially anxious mind will convince you, is most of them. This freewheeling rumination is problematic because it creates distorted memories of the event. You ignore or minimise good moments, and you inflate mishaps or neutral moments. Rumination can leave you feeling terrible and reduce the chances you’ll show up again at the next event.
One way to break this spiral is to do an honest review that is based in reality, not emotion. Try a psychologist’s version of the party game Two Truths and a Lie. Start by jotting down a few things you’re replaying or worrying about from the event – the moments that are nagging at you. Now sort through them:
Two truths: identify two things that did not go well. Rarely do social interactions go perfectly, so it’s time to accept that, even if it feels irksome. For example, maybe you clammed up during an introduction, or made a joke and nobody laughed.
A lie: spot the lie you’re telling yourself. The lie isn’t something that happened; it’s about what you think a misstep means – the catastrophic interpretation you’ve made about it. For example, after you clammed up during the introduction, you may have convinced yourself that you blew your chances of starting a collaboration.
Once you spot the lie, factcheck yourself. What evidence do you have for your conclusions that, for example, none of your coworkers like you? Look for the flaws in your reasoning. Chances are you are mindreading (assuming you know what others are thinking), overgeneralising (treating one instance as representative of a larger pattern), or catastrophising (assuming the worst). Replace your lie with a more accurate interpretation (eg, ‘My introduction was awkward, but the rest of the conversation seemed fine’).
End by checking in with your goals. Did you do what you set out to do? If yes, then you’ve won today’s battle.
Final notes
Working through your anxiety doesn’t mean you need to eliminate it. The goal is not ground zero. In many situations, a little anxiety is normal and even useful. Instead of trying to banish anxiety before your next networking event, slip it in your pocket. You know it’s there, and it may poke out during especially stressful moments, but you’re in charge. You have the tools.
Progress doesn’t require an overhaul. Small tweaks accumulate. Start with one goal. One challenge. One social event. One thing that pushes you beyond the circle of comfort you’ve enveloped yourself in. One thing that brings you closer to the life you want to live.
Networking events will always carry a mix of what-ifs and what-could-bes. You don’t need to demolish every what-if – just pocket them and step forward anyway.
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For many years the prevailing debate about the Maya centred upon why their civilisation collapsed. Now, many scholars are asking: how did the Maya survive?
Happiness, Here and Now by Kim Heong Seok
Everyone seeks happiness. But many mistake happiness as life’s ultimate goal. We might think we are working towards happiness, but happiness is not something waiting for us in the distant future. If happiness only existed in the future then humans could never be happy, because we live in the present and the future, by definition, has yet to arrive.
Nor can happiness be found in the past. The past has already vanished, and so has the happiness we felt then.
Then where does happiness reside? Happiness only exists in the present, in the here and now. Yet the present is not a fixed point but a passage, a flow. Whether time moves from future to past or past to future, the present is always just a fleeting moment.
If happiness exists at all, it exists only in these passing moments. We are born with a desire and longing for happiness. When we project that desire into the future, we may think happiness lies ahead. But we must not hollow out the present in pursuit of the future, nor should we foolishly let the past rob us of our present.
If happiness can only dwell in the present and the present is a process by which time passes, then happiness, too, must be found in the process. Let’s put theory aside and look for examples in real life.
Decades ago, a professor friend from Seoul National University called me. He said he’d just had a phone line installed after two years of being on the waitlist, and wanted to try calling someone. If I wasn’t too busy, could we chat for a few minutes? I could hear the excitement in his voice. After this call, his wife was going to try the phone next, and then his eldest daughter.
My friend wasn’t the only one excited about opening a phone line. I had the exact same experience when I got my first phone. My family was ecstatic. At the time, there were so many applicants that the phone company had to hold a lottery. The odds of being picked was twenty to one. For several days, our family talked about little else. It really was quite thrilling to wait at the lottery site, hearing people murmur to one another, ‘Is it over?’ ‘Are they done?’
‘Wait, one more?’ ‘Can you see what it says?’ And finally, we heard through the speakers, ‘Number 489!’ We were chosen for a phone line.
As we’d worked so hard to get the phone line, the joy of winning the lottery and getting a phone was enormous. We even discussed where to place it and how best to keep it in good condition.
My friend’s family, too, was basking in that small happiness. Young people today might find this story amusing.
But when I look at children growing up in well-off homes today, I’m sometimes surprised. Many of them grow up without ever knowing that kind of joy. Because they’ve had everything from the start, they take objects in their lives for granted and find no joy in them. If someone gets excited over getting a phone today, they’d likely laugh and think, ‘What’s the big deal?’
These days, many families own cars. When I bought my first one, I went outside at night to clean it with great care. One friend said he didn’t sleep at all the night he bought his car. His wife said, ‘Good things really do come to those who wait.’
But my friend’s children feel none of that joy. Since cars have always been part of their lives, they see it as nothing special. It’s the same with houses. Each step brings happiness as one moves from a rented room to an apartment, then buying a small home in the suburbs, then a bigger one. But young people who are born into wealth and start life in a big house cannot experience the happiness and satisfaction of saving up and moving up that their parents once knew. That’s perhaps why many Western families encourage their children to live independently. Only then can they develop the skills to build their lives in their own hands and experience genuine happiness.
If someone were to reach their life’s goal all at once, they’d only taste the happiness of the final moment. The true joy of climbing a mountain is in the ascent from the base to the summit. If a helicopter drops you at the peak, you miss the exhilaration of the climb.
A person climbing the stairway of life finds meaning in each and every step. If one fails to find the significance and gratitude of each moment, what joy remains but the thrill of reaching the final step?
Besides, another important point remains. Once a hiker reaches the top of the mountain, they must descend. That descent isn’t sad but simply a part of the journey. But life isn’t like that. All the joy and happiness are in the ascent. The descent of life always brings sorrow and misfortune.
They say, ‘After bitterness comes sweetness.’ But turn that around, and we get, ‘After sweetness comes bitterness.’ Those who have no place further to climb must face decline. That is the tragedy of life.
A poor farmer’s son may not begin his life with any advantages, but he has room to rise. But a rich man’s son, who began at the top, has nowhere to go but down. This is why youth in poorer countries can be happier than those in wealthier societies. Ascent and growth bring happiness while descent and decline bring with it suffering, discontent and misery. So, we must not treat happiness as a destination, and life as a journey towards happiness; it must be discovered and enjoyed within the work and the process of growth.
Those with humble hearts find joy in gratitude and contentment under any circumstances. And those who strive for righteousness experience unique happiness in the strife itself, as it is the process of growth and betterment.
So, does this mean the rich are unhappier than the poor who still have room to grow? Is someone in a powerful position less happy than someone still rising through the ranks? Perhaps so. A person with ten million dollars feels unhappy when they lose three million. But someone with two million who gains three million feels happy. A retiring general may feel he’s losing everything, but a colonel promoted to brigadier general is filled with hope.
By that logic, the rising sun symbolises happiness and the setting sun symbolises sorrow. That’s nature’s law, but human life doesn’t always have to follow it. A person can grow in many directions. Once we recognise this, we see things differently. One who has enjoyed material comfort may find new meaning in service or the arts. There is another kind of growth and happiness waiting there. Those in politics or business may find happiness not in power and wealth but in contributing to the community. Many spiritual leaders who lived in poverty found unparalleled happiness.
In short, what we possess matters less than the value we find in life. Acquiring things can be meaningful, but what we give to others and to society often brings deeper happiness. Ultimately, we arrive at the familiar conclusion that happiness is made up of the truthful, meaningful life we live each day, not from desire or illusion. Greed makes happiness elusive, while meaningful volunteer work never brings regret. Therefore, no matter where we are in life, we must strive for meaningful growth. That process will bring true and deep happiness.
It is said that character is the highest form of happiness. One who refines their character and serves others will find joy through this life. Because character is not a vessel that holds happiness, but the very source that creates it.
Taara
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