Vyapti's Dreamland - Page 32

Such deep and cutting words, enjoyed reading this so much!

Thank you dear Proteeti

I am in a desert all alone,

Looking for water.

Oh, there...there is an oasis.

Or, is it a mirage?

I do not know how to identify mirage.

What should I do?

I can not go back,

The thirst is unbearable.

I have to walk towards the oasis or mirage

Whatever it is.

If it is a mirage, I will lose my way

Deeper into the desert.

If it is an oasis

I will get respite at least for some time.

Whether I will have water or death

Is not in my hand.

Whether I will walk towards the oasis or mirage

Is in my hand.

Or is it really in my hand?

Is this the real meaning of life?

Logical conclusion is difficult in such situations in life. One has to take a decision according to their heart/ mind's advice.

Thought-provoking poem, Nibedita.

Vey true.

This was very profound, the tryst of free will and destiny!

I was not strong,

I was vulnerable.

It seems I am strong now,

But that is rubbish.

I am still vulnerable,

Just equipped with a mask of strength.

Such a matter of shame!

Wait, may be I am lucky to be vulnerable.

I have not suffered anything big in life

Still those little sufferings make me cry.

Then I need your hand to wipe my tears.

I have got the pleasure of your touch

Without paying the right price.

Neither have I loved you

Nor have I endured suffering.

Yet you have taken me in your arms

Just because I am vulnerable.

I have successfully cheated you

In this business.

Nothing compares to the joy of cheating you.

The shame attached with vulnerability

Drowns in shame in front of that.

Good verse, Vyapti. You did a good job capturing the complex emotions that go along with love's many facets.

Such complex topics described so wonderfully!

Why are you giving me tasks? Don't you know that I am not worthy of any task? How can I say that I am unworthy? You had made all the arrangements to make me skilled. Those arrangements can never go in vain.

But it is not about skill, it is about dedication. A dedicated person aquires skill anyway. Most of the rivers merge in the sea, only a few get lost in desert. I have no dedication towards work, I have no dedication towards you.

I am not scared of you. You have never taught me to be scared of you. So that feeling is alien to me. Even if I were scared of you, that fear would be of no use. Fear makes me immobile, it does not make me active.

You assign me duties but I never do them satisfactorily. Have I ever tried to do them wholeheartedly? Forget that, have I ever tried to do them half heartedly? No. I just touch those tasks to avoid repercussions. Nothing more.

Yet, a part of me feels ashamed because I am betraying you. It is true that I don't have the ability to harm you. But my actions can harm your loved ones. If they feel pained, you feel pained.

This feeling makes me uneasy so I shut it down. "It is not that I am the only lazy person.", I give myself excuse.

What can I do? I lack the power to change myself. I have no shelter other than you. I am greedy for the things that you give me in return of my work. So I keep on betraying you.

Forgive me. Punish me, if you so wish. No, do the impossible. Change me. Help me change. Is it possible?