Abhi mujhme kahin ~ Part 7 Updated (11.06.2024)- Page 2

PART 2

This was supposed to be an OS but then all your comments made me want to write more. There would be one more part to this. Feel free to drop your comments and recommendations. ____________________________________

Trigger warning: Mentions of self-harm, cuts and blood. However there is absolutely nothing graphic and descriptive. Nonetheless adding a warning for precaution.

Manisha sat beside a sleeping Abhira, softly tracing her fingers over marks on the feverish skin of Abhira's forearm. Some of them a darker shade of red, some lighter in tone and others fading white. She wasn't a fool to not understand what these marks meant, the only question that plagued her was how long has this been happening under their roof and how long have they been blind to something they should have caught at first glance. This wasn't normal. This wasn't the kind of life her dying mother would have wanted for her only child, a child so full of love and light. And Manisha's mind spiralled back to all those times where she could have caught up on Abhira's lies, all the signs that were right there, silently screaming for help. Her constant pulling of her kurta sleeves every time Manisha tried to talk to her, the spots of blood on them that she had discarded as stains from some weird strawberry jelly, the evidently growing eye bags, her gradual loss of weight when she had returned from the hostel.

She had made it a point to keep her pain masked so nobody notices and they let her be, pressurising her with their expectations and never really asking her about what she wants. Manisha realised how her willingness to make Abhira stay and Madhav's stubborn desire to keep her tied to Armaan were all coming from a place of selfishness which made them obtuse to how admist this hurricane of their needs and expectations, Abhira was bearing a weight that never was her's to carry. They needed her, she was the voice for all their dreams for all the fairness they longed, but at the end of the day she was just a young orphaned girl being subjected to constant emotional abuse and a trauma that was threatening to drown her and there wasn't a single person who would stand up for her, give her a hug and an assurance that everything would be fine. Loneliness, when you turn up the volume of all the wrong voices, is catastrophic, it's deadly. And a loneliness that is an aftermath of a loss that kills the child within you, leaves you with demons of haunting memories to fight with...all alone.

All Abhira needed was a little love and she would survive but Manisha knew this family and their tendency of choking you to the point there's nothing left of you, within you. And she couldn't let that happen to Abhira. She had made her sign the divorce papers, it wouldn't be a task to get Armaan to sign them either. She had also talked to Madhav and had arrangements made at the hostel.

Manisha got up from Abhira's bed, and ever so softly covered her with a duvet, making sure her movement doesn't wake her up. "I am sorry Abhira...I wish I could have done more to save you but this stops here...the abuse, the insults...stops here. I promise you I won't let this family hurt you anymore. You deserved...you deserve so much better than this. I don't know how many more hurdles your future holds, but this chapter closes today, none of the Poddars will hurt you anymore, that's my promise", Manisha spoke, while she softly caressed Abhira's hair, her voice barely above a whisper. She left a tender kiss on her forehead and walked out of the room, with a determination she doesn't remember ever possessing. ____________________________________

Manisha was about to knock Armaan's room when she heard Ruhi insisting Armaan on going ahead with the divorce as soon as possible. Perhaps, this relationship, this marriage was always doomed. What pissed Manisha was Armaan's lack of spine to shun Ruhi and remind her that this was his and Abhira's decision to make. Annoyed by the constant rant, Manisha barged in, her breaths heavy with an anger she has never allowed her face to wear before.

"Chahi sa aap..." Armaan began to speak.

"Leave the room Ruhi, I need to talk to him", Manisha interrupted.

"Chachi sa, Aisa bhi kya hai Jo aap mere samne nahi bol sakti. Is it Abhira again? Did she send you to influence Armaan? Don't listen to her chahi sa, this is all a gamble for her", Ruhi spoke with an urgency that wasn't unnoticed by Manisha.

"I said leave the room Ruhi...", Manisha repeated, her voice rising a notch, leaving no room for any argument.

"Chahi sa aap Ruhi se..." Before he could complete his sentence, Madhav entered the room and closed the doors as Ruhi left.

Without sparing him a look, he threw the divorce papers on his table with a pen, "Sign it...", he asserted.

Armaan stared at the papers, a sense of betrayal taking over his senses. He could feel the bile rising in his throat, how could she?

"Wow! She already signed them? Why all the drama if she was eventually going to sign them", he snorted, looking at the divorce papers.

"Isn't that what you wanted? Weren't you the one screaming at her in front of the entire family, to sign the papers and spare you? Didn't you expressly told her that you were tired of this marriage, tired of her? Then what's the problem?", Madhav questioned, his resolve steeling with each word.

"Of course you would speak for her. Why did I even bother? Let me go and talk to her. How can she be so ungrateful and egoistic despite everything", Armaan tried to walk out but Madhav blocked his way.

"DON'T YOU DARE...GO ANYWHERE NEAR HER", Madhav warned. His voice heavy with a sense of protectiveness and threat that Armaan has never seen before.

"I won't be allowing you to hurt her anymore Armaan. There's a line between ego and self respect, you certainly never realised that because all you have ever learnt is to take after your grandmother. You are turning out to be as shallow as she is. You are becoming the monster that she is, and I failed as a father in preventing that, YOU...failed as a husband, as a friend, as a human to realise the cruelty of your own actions. But enough now, Abhira won't be the victim of my failures, she won't be the victim of your monstrosity. The only reason, I wanted that girl to come back...is because I thought, despite your ignorance, despite your blindness, a part of you truly cares for her, a part of you might love her because she made you happy, she brought a light in your life that I have seen dimming with time but what did she get in return? A broken heart, she got abuses thrown her way, she got trauma and pain that has killed her spirit. She is not your punching bag Armaan, she won't bare the brunt of your seething rage just because you don't know how to take a stand for yourself and what you want. She has been fighting for this relationship all alone and I let her because I thought maybe, just maybe you would realise your mistakes, repent and learn to look beyond these glass walls that Dadisa and Vidya have built around you but I was wrong. You are incapable of doing that but I...am not incapable of protecting my daughter, I tried to save you, but I can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved Armaan. I can't...", a stream of tears fell down Madhav's eyes.

Overwhelmed with the anguish that plagued his soul, he walked out, but not before asking Manisha to make sure the papers are signed.

"Na toh uss bachi mein Jaan bachi hai, na himmat. Ab bas karo Armaan please. I beg you...liberate her from this cage. She has nothing left, Jo thodi bohot Jaan bachi hai, let her leave with that, she won't survive otherwise... please", Manisha begged.

Armaan's eyes glistened with unshed tears. His mind still torn between his family's expectations, their manipulations, his own blind devotion and the realisation in a tiny corner of his heart that perhaps he had irremediably wronged Abhira and hurt in ways that cannot be undone. A part of him knew he didn't want this, that somewhere he started to enjoy his time with Abhira, that her intentions were never wrong, that she has done more for him and his family than they would ever be able to do for her in return, he knew his family has certainly killed her spirit. With Abira he has felt a happiness that he had never known, in her unusual chaotic ways she had managed to show him the light he had lost long ago. Her innocence, her laughter, her jugaad, he missed that but his ego and his blind devotion had stopped him from accepting that and perhaps it was too late.

"There were slits and marks on her wrist Armaan", Manisha's voice was heavy with emotion.

Armaan looked at Manisha in utter shock, it couldn't be what he was thinking, Abhira wouldn't do that, she might be hurt, she might be heartbroken but she wouldn't fall weak, or would she. He couldn't find his voice, his words stuck in his throat, and he felt he would throw up. Is that how damaged she was? What had he done?

Something broke within him, and he let his tears fall. "Was it...is it...Chahi sa, is it...what I am thinking?" he hoped he was wrong but the look Manisha gave him confirmed his fears. He sat down on the chair with a thud, his body felt too weak to carry the weight of his guilt. He deserved no respite. He looked at the papers and with trembling hands he signed the divorce papers. He had always known that their relationship would come to an end but never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that he would end up damaging her psyche the way he did. She deserves better and he wouldn't stop her from moving forward.

Manisha slowly took the papers from his grasp. Her heart broke for him. His need to fit in, his need to feel belonged and his need to never lose Daadisa's faith in him has made him obtuse to Abhira's sufferings. It had made him a monster, just like the one he was hopelessly devoted to.

"I am not blind like others in the family Armaan, I know what's going on between you and Ruhi", she sighed.

"What disappoints me the most...is that you never respected the sanctity of your marriage with Abhira. You expected her to keep fighting for this unnamed relationship, for you but at your own terms...the terms which required her to kill a part of herself and let this family of vultures fend on her bleeding wounds. This family has never treated you well...you were always a pawn to your Dadisa's game. It's tragic in so many ways that Abhira, who has time and again fought for your position in the family, ended up being the bait. I wish you had taken a stand for her, not reduced her to some responsibility that you are trying to get rid of and not thrown her dead mother under the bus, for your Daadisa's validation. It's tragic...you have ended up killing that one relationship which brought you true happiness. And it's tragic...that admist all this mess... it's Abhira who has lost the most. Perhaps you would learn your lesson, perhaps you wouldn't. But I hope you realise...a wife...is not a puppet who would act as you would desire. She is a human. You can't mould her to fit in the casket that this family requires. We are dysfunctional in a lot of ways and it's not all your fault but whatever has happened to Abhira, that's on you, and Bhabhi sa and Maasa. If you can... without hurting her further... apologise to her. Words won't make it better Armaan but perhaps that would bring her wounded soul some respite. And maybe it's time you realise Ruhi's manipulations and come clean. Rohit doesn't deserve this, neither did Abhira..."

Manisha walked out to find Ruhi waiting for Armaan perhaps to sway him more.

Manisha walked towards her and started right into her eyes, "you cannot build a happy home on corpses and despair of others Ruhi. You have wrecked someone's hopes, you have wounded an innocent heart and if you believe after all this you would ever truly get the happiness that you want...only God can save you from your delusions."

With that Manisha walked away, leaving behind Ruhi with a terror that would plague her nights. There were more people who needed to hear a lot more, and Manisha and Madhav would make sure they did and they would make sure Abhira gets to leave the house with the respect and apologies that she deserves.

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This is so beautifully written, I cried the whole time reading both parts. Loved Manisha chachi and her care for Abhira. Looking forward to reading more.

Beautiful update

Hope they show something like this 🙏

I love, love, love this!

Reading both parts in one sitting was such a roller coaster ride. The vivid portrayal of Abhira's pain, her loneliness, her uncertainty, her misplaced guilt and sense of indebtedness, and her overall interaction with her parents was truly heartbreaking, and the revelation of her silent battle with self-harm, horrifying! I found myself wholeheartedly rooting and cheering for the dynamic, delicious duo of Manisha and Madhav (simply adore them to bits, in the show and even more in your story), and the resolution provided a much-needed respite. Your meticulously crafted dialogues left me thoroughly satisfied, each one carefully chosen to perfection, to put Vidya, Armaan and Ruhi in their rightful place.

If I had to summarize the whole plethora of feelings this evoked, it would be the ultimate "kaleje mein thandak." Bravo!

How I hope that this story somehow reaches the makers of the show... If they team up Manisha and Madhav somehow, one might just forgive them for some of the nonsense that has been dished out lately.

And the best thing about this story is that there are more parts to come Absolutely can't wait. And yes, even though you can't tag me yet, you can let me know by any means possible - comment on another thread, PM, pigeon, whatever Looking forward to your next!

Beautifully written. Loved it. Continue soon.

This stand by Manisha for Abhira and giving it back to Armaan and Ruhi is what I hope to see in the show.

Omg! So good. My heart breaks for Abhira but I'm glad Manisha and Madhav aren't mute spectators or selfish. Abhira deserves better.

I wish Armaan would grow a spine but I have no hopes from Ruhi

If only the Manisha and Madhav in the show would realize the depth of Abhiras pain and suffering.

So good

You made me cry.

I hope there is another part of it.

Where Abhira leaves and live a happy lige away from Poddars and Armaan and Armaan grow as an individual

Please update kardo dear

3. Abhi mujhme kahin ~ Part 3

Trigger warning: mentions of self-harm, cuts and blood. Again, nothing explicit but dropping a warning for precaution. This chapter is probably more depressing than the previous one.

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Armaan found himself standing in the middle of a dark room, not just dark in a way that makes you pray for sporadic flicker of light, but dark in a way that you feel the darkness crawling on you, with each inhale of air, a certain amount murkiness and gloom finding it's way into your body, corrupting every cell within to burn with a hopelessness that would suffocate you to death.

It was dead silent except for the sound of soft whimpering from a short distance. He tried to find the source but something stopped him, as if there was a force purposely hindering him from taking a step forward. It felt like an intrusion in someone else's mind, sort of a black hole that would consume any source of light within it's confines. As if right on his cue there was a candle in the corner almost reaching its end, the wax melting in a puddle drop by drop.

And suddenly it felt as if the temperature of the room had dropped by a few centigrades and the air became chilly in a way that sent a shiver down his spine. As if sensing someone's presence he turned to his right. There she was, breathlessly folding her knees close to her chest, her hands clutching her ears as if trying to block out unwanted noises. She shook her head and whimpered. Armaan tried to call out her name but nothing seemed to reach her. She opened her eyes with a joult, gasping for air. Her body jerked forward and she tried to stand up only to fall back on her knees. Armaan tried to reach out to her but something held him into place, as if tying his feet to the ground. She stood up again, disorientated, swaying on her feet and began to run.

His surroundings dissolved, distorting his vision in plethora of images, overlapping noises, cries, laughter, shreiks and then again dead silence. He now stood on the terrace looking around. And he finds her using all her strength, to climb on the higher ledge, her leg wobbly as she stands, holding her breath. Her frame looked like a paradox of resilience and defeat.

He cried out her name asking her to stop, begging her to get down but his feet again felt tied. He kept calling for her and this time she turned back. A sheen of sweat covering her forehead, a sorrowful smile playing on her lips, her eyes empty despite the trail of tears falling down her cheeks, there was a defiance in her stance he hasn't seen before.

And then she spoke, "you won't ...ever... have to see me again"

"No...no...please don't say that. Just get down, please," he begged.

"You can't save me Armaan, you don't want to", she replied.

"Believe me please... please just get down from there."

"You are finally free from all your responsibilities", with that she let her body fall, perhaps...being alive was all it needed to embrace death.

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"Abhira!!" Armaan jolted awake from his sleep, sweating profusely, struggling to catch a breath. This couldn't be. He threw his duvet and rushed out of his room. He had to see her, make sure she is fine.

He stood in front of the room, hesitating to take a step forward, as if his feet were tied. He was about to open the door when Manisha stepped out.

"Are you alright Armaan? Why do you looked so worked up?", she asked, clearly concerned about his shortness of breath.

His eyes glistened with unshed tears and despite the way it burnt his throat he tried to find his voice, "Chahi sa ....abhira .... Abhira..." He chanted her name like a prayer from a hymn and fell on his knees. The guilt finally weighing down on him.

Manisha kneeled down beside him, wrapping him in an embrace, drawing soft circles on his back.

"It's about what I told you... isn't it?", she asked softly.

He nodded, not trusting his voice to form a single coherent sentence. Manisha sighed, she couldn't lie to him and say he wasn't to be blamed when she knew he was.

"Abhira...is a strong girl Armaan. Perhaps stronger than all of us combined. But everybody has a limit and we have been testing hers for too long. She had to break at some point and unfortunately she did", Manisha spoke, her own eyes burning with hot tears.

"I don't know what her future holds...I...I don't know how she will heal. But a little part of him still believes...if there's any god looking out for his...he wouldn't put her through more pain. I still have faith in her strength and I have faith in her determination. She will find her way, I know she will. But Armaan...she has to get out of here, otherwise she will lose herself and we won't be able to bring her back..."

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There is so much sadness in the world, and it dawned upon Armaan that there are so many stories he won't hear, so many he refused to hear, if only he had not acted out in his unjust rage, if only he had let Abhira speak and not been a coward himself to be the sinister pathetic man that he was, he wouldn't have been here with an unparalleled grief filling him up and spilling from his eyes.

All he had to do was take a deep breath and just let his eyes truly look at Abhira and he would have known what she was going through, because he knew her more than she knew herself, didn't she? Or perhaps it was a lie he fed himself to feel the valour of saving her, for validating his own saviour's complex. But little did he know, that the most she needed saving from, was him, and this monster spitting and writhing within him that takes over his whole entire soul when something threatens his image in the eyes of his great Dadisa.

Armaan let his eyes wander over a sleeping Abhira's frame, and it was easy to realise that she wasn't well. Her soft caramel skin that once glimmered like the golden rays of the morning sun, had fallen a shade sickly paler, like something dead, like a fallen Autumn leaf. There were eye bags under her eyes that looked like a night sky of relentless grief. Her softly traced his fingers over the marks on her arm and her wrist, as if memorizing them like the lines on a map. The lines which led him to an abyss of guilt that threatened to swallow him and he broke down, days of frustration, confusion and the disappointment at his own hands weighing upon him.

"When did you get to know...about...", Armaan couldn't bring himself to complete the sentence.

"About the cuts on her wrists?", Manisha asked and Armaan nodded in response.

"Last night...I came here to check up on her, like I usually do and I found her whimpering in her sleep. I tried to comfort her and switched on the dim yellow light. She had some sort of a dream about her mother perhaps and she was too disoriented and lost to try to hide it from me like has been hiding all this while. It was accidental. If it weren't for her disheleved situation, I don't think I would have found out. I had my doubts but I don't think I would have ever reached this conclusion, especially because it's Abhira and she knows how to mask her pain...well."

"Did you talk to her about it?", he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"I...I couldn't bring myself to. I wish I knew what to say...but every time I look at her...I...I am just filled with this anguish that threatens to overwhelm me. But I know I have to...and I will...and I will make sure she gets the help she needs", and Manisha was determined about it.

"Just make sure you don't tell anybody about this Armaan. I don't think she would want that and...I don't trust Dadisa and bhabhisa enough to believe they won't further use this to destroy her", Manisha choked up on her words. "I don't know...if there's any humanity left in them to understand the consequences of their actions...I don't think they are capable of feeling any remorse. I just...I just want Abhira to safely leave the house and settle somewhere she could find the peace to heal. And I don't trust Maasa to not turn her into a tragedy."

"I promise you...no one will know", and something broke within him, realising the catastrophe of the situation, the lengths to which his family had fallen in his Chachisa's eyes and now how own. He was a culprit too and he knew that. He held Abhira's frail hand in his and chanted a string of apologies like a desperate prayer.

"I am sorry...I am sorry...I...I... didn't know...I am sorry...", he sobbed, his chest crushing with a pain he didn't know he was capable of feeling.

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Abhira's eyes were fixed on her scars. She could still see the stream of blood trailing down the cracks she had sliced open, she could still visualise the abstract she had made, even through the lines that had begun to fade along with the ones that looked freshly painted. It made her feel sick, to look at the ugly marks and still feel the need to let them bleed until she is totally drained. But this was her own cruelty on herself, perhaps a sort of punishment for hoping too much, or perhaps a way of respite to escape the ache that was eating her up from inside.

Manisha sat beside her on the bed and instinctively Abhira's hand reached out to pull her sleeves but Manisha stopped her and Abhira's face lost all it's colour. She looked away knowing well enough she was caught, and she was ashamed of herself, disgusted by her own infirmity.

"Hey...look at me. You don't have to hide from me Abhira. I...I just want you to talk to me", Manisha spoke, softly holding Abhira's chin prompting to look at her.

With a lot of hesitation Abhira looked at Manisha. She didn't find any judgement in her eyes. If anything there was something resembling the care and love that she has only ever seen in her own Mumma's eyes. Unknowingly a drop of tear fell down her eyes. She tried to put her gaurd up but she was exhausted and she didn't know how long would she manage this way.

"I see the pain in your eyes Abhira, just talk to me once and tell me what's going on in your mind...what...what made you do this to yourself."

And before she knew a tide of sobs wracked her body, she fell in Manisha's embrace, hiding her face while she spoke, "I...I couldn't take it Chachi sa, I couldn't. It was killing me...the pain...the emptiness...I couldn't take it. The voices in my head...they...they got too loud and I didn't know what to do. I just needed an escape... anything to get rid of ever present pain, anything apart from this hollowness in my chest....and I did what I could to save myself from this abyss I was falling in, and I did it again...and finally...I could feel something, and....I hate it but it felt so much better to lose my blood than it did to lose my spirit every second".

Manisha didn't know her heart was capable of tearing apart the way it did. She just held Abhira close, as if shielding her from anything that has the tendency to hurt her further. "I just...I just wanted the pain to stop, I just wanted it...to stop..."

"It will Abhira, it will. I promise you...no one will hurt you ever again, I will make sure of it...I promise", and Manisha was determined. This family, dadisa, Vidya, Ruhi, Sanjay and despite his guilt, even Armaan, will all pay for their mistakes and Manisha knew, it wasn't long before karma hits them back and this time when they fall there won't be any respite for their sins.