https://www.verywellmind.com/the-impact-of-domestic-violence-on-children-5207940
Multiple studies highlight that there are increased chances that children who have witnessed domestic violence at home may become aggressive or depict similar behavior in the future as adults, along with many other psychological challenges. Of course, there is no hard and fast rule and every child is different, so I am not at all saying that every victim turns out to be an abuser. In this case itself, Samar turned out to be quite sympathetic towards Anupamaa's challenges. However talking about Toshu and Pakhi, they are abusive towards Anupamaa, their partners, and also their children and so in their case, this theory holds. They have clearly not broken the cycle. There is a strong possibility that the reason they turned out to be like this is because of the perpetual abuse they witnessed of their mother and continuously how she was looked/talked down upon. Again studies say children brought up in such households may think of such a behavior as a norm. Here in this particular case, the problem escalates further as Anupamaa herself does not recognize the abuse meted out to her. She normalizes it and in fact loves her abusers. Baa and Vanraj extract benefits from her - both materially and emotionally and dump her when not needed with no repercussions to their lives. Since both Pakhi and Toshu lack any sense to introspect or in depth thinking, they are naturally inclined towards the people who are able to extract benefits, and favors from her and pay no heed to Anupamaa's hollow words of wisdom. Since they have a comparatively way better life than Anupamaa whose life remains in shambles, without favors from Anuj and Deepu. So from T and P's perspective, why should she be heard or paid attention to ? From what they have seen V and Baa survived better than Anupamaa so V and Baa must be emulated not Anupamaa.
PS :- While writing all this stuff I ignore that the actual reason of T and P flips may just be the usual mood swings of the writer and nothing major or intellectual. 
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