Originally posted by: Suvika.
@red - I have been thinking about Akshara.
After reading the highlights of today's episode - no, I wasn't brave enough to actually watch it... I wonder at her silence. I mean she has never been good at self-defense of course but is it because it's part of her nature or because of the systematic stripping away of her self-confidence and self-respect? She seems to think / believe that she deserves all that's being dished out to her. That she is indeed bad omen / bad luck / ... and disaster is her shadow. At least that's the impression I got. Could that be part of the reason she left and has stayed away from everyone all these years... letting them believe whatever they wanted? "They have lost enough because of me so I should remove my presence from their lives." She believed it for a long time w.r.t Sirat's death then Abhimanyu tried to bring her out of it only to later smack her face with that along with all the other deaths too. Does she see herself as a killer?? Not the psycopathic killer kind of course... you know what I mean. And today the same thing was said again by Manjari. The day she brought that kalash and Manjari started on her rant too she never said a word in her defense. Her shield came out only when the words extended towards Abhinav. We have been thinking Akshara didn't reveal her past to Abhinav because she didn't / doesn't give him importance. Could it be that she didn't want to? I mean as long as he doesn't know she is the killer, he would continue to respect her and like her - could this be her line of thinking??
AK definitely had guilt in Neil's death, becoz she knew somewhere she was responsible for that. She could have avoided that. I'm not saying whatever happened was her fault it's just that we tend to feel na sometimes that's it.
And today may have really felt bad becoz Abhi was coming to her, he wanted to tell her something, and becoz of manju saying she may think she is dangerous for Abhi and again push him away.
And regarding AK leaving udaipur and not returning it was not becoz of this blame game. It's solely becoz of AB. She waited for him till Abhir birth waiting for Abhi in pathankot, he never came and upar se he abandoned them. Then she moved to somewhere where she wanted to live if u remember the snow episode of Abhira, again she was waiting for him. She always wanted abhi to come for her. Even in 1st sep time she asked why didn't you look for me???? Same here also she wanted him to find her. This udaipur Mimi bday was also was for that only. She was angry he again didn't trust her or their love and top of thet didn't identified Abhir. So comming to udaipur was also a trick or testing whether he will find them or not. AK mere existence is for AB love, no blame no ego nothing is there. She just want him to find her, pull her to him. That's it she is waiting for that only.
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