A few days later, some progress could be seen. The progress was more in the direction of interpersonal relations than in the reduction of girth.
Patralekha was in the kitchen brewing the daily when she had the first inkling of trouble.
Something was moving in her underbelly. A rumbling tummy?Perhaps. Uncontrolled, fast, relentless…the wave reached its crescendo and there is was: a sharp retort like a gunshot. Karishma, working by the kitchen counter, was the first to get affected. She waved her hand across her face.
“Did the septic tank burst somewhere? eeeks…” She muttered to herself while pinching her nose. Patralekha excused herself in haste. She needed to reach her room before another wave began its journey.
Ohhh blast. The bathroom was occupied. Samrat, showering inside, was singing at the top of his voice. Ae dil hain mushkil…She knew by experience that he had a long time to finish. Meanwhile another wave had started to build up. She sat down abruptly on the edge of her bed, hoping for it to subside quietly.
It did. Phew, she thought. The wave subsided without any audible hint. Or was it muted in the cacophony emerging from the shower? Quite possible. It was then that she realized it. The olfactory onslaught was impossible to be missed by anyone, even if one had a severe head cold or sinus infection.
The person, emerging out of the shower, with a towel wrapped around his waist had none of the defects.
Scrunching his nose in distaste, he was about to say something when there was a shout from the kitchen.
“Patralekha! Where are you? Something is burning in the kitchen!”
“Coming!”
If Patralekha feared anyone in the house, it was Bhavani.
“And where is our tea? We all have been waiting!”
It was then that she remembered. The morning tea..the brew was boiling when she had bolted the scene. But Karishma was there..so didn’t she at least switch off the gas? Looks like no..
Momentarily forgetting about the gastrointestinal woes, she ran downstairs, as far as her legs would allow. There was smoke everywhere, people were coughing and waving their hands to clear the air.
The quick sprint had many disasterous effects. First of all, Patralekha almost tripped over her saree in the haste to get into the kitchen and broke her high heels. Second, it tore a part of her heavy saree in the most visible region. Third and most important, it set the peristalsis into top gear.
The combined effect of all three was phenomenal.
“Ouch…” Patralekha winced as her sandal went into the unbalanced mode and she landed on the floor. She tried to get up, immediately, but was largely unsuccessful.
Trrrrr…was the sound of her saree tearing off near the shoulder and ripping off. The third effect was more felt than seen.
A mushroom shaped cloud rose from the haphazardedly seated woman, expanded radially from the source of its origin, diluting itself in the process. But detectable nevertheless. The first person to be affected was Karishma, who was the first one to reach the woman on the floor.
“Patralekha Bhabhi!” She held out a hand. The other hand was busy clearing the air around her face and coughing. She was soon joined by Sonali, who chose the opportune moment to complain.
“Vahini, mee kay mhante, even I have burnt milk *coughing* in the kitchen. Initial days, just after marriage, when I didn’t know how to cook, and Ashwini Vaini taught me *sneezing* But nothing compares with this!”
“It’s not only milk burning, Sonali. Some other smell is also there…”
“Radish, broccoli, beans..” Karishma muttered under her breath. Kaku glared at her.
“I heard that. Is this the menu today? No? then why don’t you start the exhaust fan in the kitchen instead? And Patralekha, go and wear another saree. Don’t just stand there with your front bared open…”
Patralekha’s answer to this was a sharp retort, like a gunshot. She ran, albiet with great difficulty, to her room. Kaku waved her hand across her face and gestured for the airconditioning to be raised a notch. Khandoba. Chavan Niwas was turning into a gas chamber or what?
The air cleared soon and Ashwini got tea for all. By this time, the entire Chavan khandan had got a inkling, or rather to say, a whiff,of the situation. But they were a bit too cultured to discuss on something considered so crass. So the pretence that everything was hunky dory was forced upon. The discussion ultimately veered off to the favourite subject matter for bashing.
“Poor girl. She must be feeling so bad…such a rumbling tummy..”
“Ho na. A girl from a cultured family..embarrassing to the least…”
“But why is this happening to her? Is she on some medicine or what?”
Karishma sought to intervene. “The trainer prescribed some supplements. And a diet plan. Maybe because of that…”
Kaku rolled her eyes. Khandoba! “But why all this…”
“Latest fad. That something called size zero..”
“Size zero?”
“Something like Sai..”
“Watalch mala (I thought so) That Junglee mulgi is behind all this! She must have done something for Patralekha to feel so bad…”
“Sai is actually size negative…nobody can reach there..” Karishma scrubbing the kitchen counter off the burnt milk stains, murmured to herself. Ashwini caught a bit as she was returning with an empty tray.
“Karishma, please take the breakfast tray for Patralekha to her room. Looks like she may not come down so soon..”
“But is it allowed, Kaku? Last time when I tried to do…then Bhavani Kaku…” Karishma couldnt forget somethings. Moreover, she would have given anything to stay away from Patralekha.
“I think Vahini wont object to this. After all, who knows, Patralekha might not be feeling well. Moreover, in her attempt to reduce herweight, she has gone so weak. She hardly eats anything…”
“Only swallows air…and passes it on…” Karishma muttered under her breath. Ashwini pretended not to have heard anything.
“Bhavani Kaku, shall I..?” Karishma hoped that the high command would reject the request. But that was not to be.
“Mast ha Mast! Ok, Karishma, take the tray…See that she doesn’t come down! At least not till..." Sonali cleared her throat nearby and Kaku took the cue.
Karishma doing a mental facepalm, took the loaded tray and started climbing the stairs. Her destination was a room wherein a different battle was in full swing.
A few minutes ago, Patralekha had run, literally, up the stairs, to her room and collapsed on her bed. She had overcome three large waves by then, all unsuccessfully. Samrat looked at her with concern.
“Something wrong with you?”
The answer was more audible than a hasty sob. Patralekha sat up abruptly. Samrat reached next to her, trying hard to ignore the stink.
“Samrat…I tell you something is wrong with me. Someone has poisoned me. I know who!”
Samrat scratched his beard. “But who would do this and how?”
“You know the answer to the first bit. About the second one, I can only guess!”
“What do you mean?”
“Sai! She gave me something that has made me like this..”*Staccato three gunshots* The vehemence was directly proportional to the auditory output. Samrat pinched his nose, wondering whether there would be any oxygen left in the room to breathe.
“Now don’t talk rubbish. Sai doesn’t know about your diet plan at all. In fact it was charted by the trainer. So how does Sai get involved?”
“She and the trainer are hand in glove with this one! Iknow…I have this gut feeling…”
Karishma, holding the breakfast tray, shook her head inexasperation. Patralekha had conveniently forgotten her favourite high fibre meal of cabbage and beans. No problem. If that meant confining her to the room and yet providing for free entertainment, it was entirely Dadho sutto!