SaiRat TS What If: The whispers of the past (Last part: Pg 6)

Helloooo, people. So, when you asked me that you wanted an update…I am pretty sure this was not what you meant, but nevertheless, this was an idea I had in mind for a long time and finally got time to execute.

An information regarding the title: “What if” is (hopefully) a series of many stories that can be ss, ts, or os (mostly OS because anything else requires commitments) which will all revolve around different takes on incidences that happened in the serial.

Hope you guys will like this story.

Warning: Please be cautious if you have suffered any past trauma, have anxiety issues or are prone to panic attacks, or are claustrophobic. Even though, I am completely sure that I have not yet mastered writing skills that much but I don’t want to take risk with the mental health of even a single person.

Also, this is a TS or an SS, don’t know for sure, revolving around the room locking incident. And two things to remember: Firstly, the havan is happening outside the house, in a mandap of sorts, and secondly, Virat is already dressed when he asked Sai to attend the pooja.

THE WHISPERS OF THE PAST

Part 1:

“Sai, ye kya zid hai? Tumhe itni si baat samajh mein nahi aa rhi hai?” Virat said, voice-filled with fury, “Ya phir gharwale sach kehte hai, ki tum sirf attention paane keliye ye sab krti ho?”

It wasn’t exactly his words in particular that hurt her. They weren’t anything new. Virat had often used these exact words to reprimand her whenever she exasperated him and she never really minded them for deep down she knew that he never meant them, except today. For today, something was different, something was wrong. It weren’t his words, but rather his tone that pierced her heart. The look in his eyes was filled with so much hatred and disapproval that it made her want to hang her head in shame for even letting a thought like this cross her mind. His body posture radiated disgust and it was all forcing her to yield, to surrender, and to bend to his will. But she won’t. No, she won’t. She might not have much energy left, but she will fight till the last ounce drain out of her. And that is not today.

“Virat Sir, aapko mere baare mein jo samajhna hai, samajhiye. Mujhe usse koi farq nahi padta hai. Lekin ek baat yaad rakhiyega.” She continued, as she stepped towards him, “Ye sochne ki himmat bhi mat kriyega ki aap mujhe meri marzi ke bina kuch bhi karne ko majboor kar sakte hai.”

He scoffed, shaking his head, but didn’t utter a word. Sai took that as a positive response.

“Maine keh diya, Virat Sir, ki mujhe aaj college jaana hai to jaana hai. Aur vaise bhi, main kisi aisi cheez ki khushi nahi mana sakti jiski buniyaad hi itni ghinoni ho.” She grimaced even just thinking about it. How could a person be so vile, so nasty, to play with the emotions and trust of an entire family, just to achieve their own personal goal?

Her chain of thoughts were interrupted by Virat’s groan. She looked at him, standing with his palm covering his face and at that moment, out of nowhere, she felt her heart clench. There was something in the way his shoulders were hunched, and the way his entire body was clenched tight that radiated exhaustion, something which she could totally relate to. But he has to understand, just what games are being played here.

“Sai…”Virat said, his voice muffled. Looking back up, he continued, “Tum har baar ek hi baat lekar kyu baith jaati ho?”

“Kyuki ye baat sach hai, Virat Sir.” Not noticing his wearied eyes, she spoke, “Aap log samajh nahi rahe hai, Pakhi didi jhooth bol rhi hai. Vo ye sab kuch sirf aapko dikhaane ke liye kar rhi hai. Aap hi bataiye-”

“Sai, please” Shocked at his desperate tone, Sai stopped and stared at him, “Ho sakta hai, ki tum jo keh rhi ho vo sach ho. Ho sakta hai ki Pakhi Samrat se pyaar na karti ho, lekin ye un dono ke beech ki baat hai. Humara kaam tha Jeeva ko ghar laana, vo humne kar diya. Ab vo dono iss rishte ko kaise sambhaalte hai ye unka matter hai. Isme hum kyu apni zindagi barbaad kre? ” Virat looked at her, his eyes pleading, "Please stop."

And she wanted to, she truly did want to drop the matter right there for this was the first time after so many days that Virat had talked to her like this, but she couldn’t. Why can’t this man, for once, understand how much this means to her.

“Nahi, Virat Sir. Iss cheez ko main itni asaani se nahi chhodh sakti kyuki ye baat undono ki nhi hum dono ki bhi hai.”

And that was it. Her stubborn stance was enough to close whatever miniscule opening she had got as his walls built back up.

“Thik hai”,he whispered, a screen of moisture filling his eyes. “Jaisa tumhe thik lage…main ab tumhe aur kisi cheez ke liye force nahi karunga.”
With those words, he turned to leave but stopped, looked at her and spoke slowly, "Uss attention vaali baat ke liye, sorry." Before Sai had any chance to speak or to react, he left the room.

For a moment, she stood there, contemplating. Wasn’t this what she wanted, for him to let her be? Then why didn’t it feel like that? Now, she was free to go to the college, and to stay away from the so-called ‘happy’ couple, then why did it feel like she was doing something wrong?

Shaking her head, she tried to clear her mind and went to her cupboard to take out her college dress, when her eyes fell on the saree gifted by Pakhi didi. No matter how much she tried to explain herself, Sai couldn’t help but feel guilty. Maybe it wasn’t just a function for him, maybe he truly wanted her there, yet she refused.

If she was being honest, she didn’t know why she refused, exactly. But there was something else, something other than her personal repulsion for Pakhi Didi’s manipulations. She was insecure, and scared. And it was painful for her to accept that. She did say that Virat Sir loves Pakhi Didi and that he is hurt by her and Samrat dada’s closeness, but didn’t want to see his jealousy and envy unfold before her own eyes. She didn’t want to see his reaction for they will only confirm her hunch, and she wasn’t sure if she was strong enough for that.

Yet, no matter what, she couldn’t bring herself to forget the look in his eyes at her refusal. The way his hands were clenched in anger, yet his look was pleading, as if begging her to not refuse. He really wanted her to attend the pooja, didn’t he? Her eyes darted back towards the saree. This time a little bit doubtedly.

No. She couldn’t let her resolve break like that. So, what if he wanted her to sit at the pooja? He couldn’t have everything he wants.

But, Sai… A nagging, really annoying voice interrupted her work yet again. It’s Virat Sir we are talking about. He has done so much for you. So have I. Just do this once thing for him. No. Please. But- Just for once.

Groaning in irritation, Sai threw her dress back into the cupboard and went into the bathroom with the blasted saree.

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Looking at herself in the mirror, Sai smiled a little, thinking of how shocked everyone would be when she would enter the mandap. Undoubtedly, they all would be ready and well prepared with their taunts and insults when her entry would shock them all.

She giggled just by thinking about Virat’s face. Will he be happy? Surprised? Or angry at her for causing him so much trouble? Well, only one way to know.

Fixing her saree one last time, and giving her hair and make-up one last check, Sai quickly moved towards the door and pushed at it, only for it to stay fixed.

Bemused, she gave it another rattle, harder this time but it didn’t budge. Her eyes widened, as dread filled her mind. Surely, it isn’t…She banged at it, once, twice, hoping for someone to open it. But it remained close.

“Virat sir?” Sai yelled, her voice quivering a little. “Virat, Sir, please. Dekhiye, mujhe iss tareeke ka mazaak bilkul bhi nhi pasand hai. Please, darwaaza khol dijiye.”

But nobody answered. She gave the door another hard bang, and another, and another, yet nobody heard. Then she realized that everyone must have gone for the pooja. Dread filled her mind, as her emotions went into turmoil. Her breaths started coming out in rags. Sai, calm down. It is just a door.

She tried to think of a way out but her mind wasn’t working, and then thought of her phone. Immediately, she went for her purse and started searching. Her quivering hands made it much difficult for her. But it didn’t matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t find her phone. After few minutes it was certain. Her phone was not in her purse. With an agonizing cry, Sai flung her purse across the room.

The sudden outburst only added fuel to her already rushing adrenaline. She desperately went towards the drawers and the cupboards and searched for her phone, but it all was in vain for her phone was nowhere to be found. Sai frantically paced her room, unable to process anything.

Everytime she closed her eyes, there was just one image, just one moment flashing in front of her eyes, the same desperateness filling her mind. This was one thing she never wanted to relive, yet she couldn’t stop her mind from playing the same memory again and again. One thought after another bombarded her mind, overwhelming and overpowering all her sense of control.

Looking frantically around the closed walls, her heart thumped hard in her chest. How long do I have to stay here, locked, far from any other human? How long before somebody came looking for me? She could feel the palpitation all the way to her toes. What if nobody did? Her mind continued to recollect her worst memories relentlessly. Forcing her to walk through them all once again, reliving the same night, the same struggle. The darkness. The loneliness. The feel of rope tied all around. The restricted movements. The helplessness. The fear.

Her breathing labored, every breath felt like shards in her chest. The cords of her thoughts tightened around her body, strangling her. She felt suffocated, like wrapped in sheets with no way of letting the air in. Yet her wicked thoughts kept coming. What despicable game her own mind was playing with her that drained her of every light.

That night. That van. His voice. His shout. His body against hers. His breath on her face. The pressure. The pain. The frantic movements. The desperate pleadings. The unheard shouts---

With an excruciation cry, Sai collapsed on the floor with her head clutched in her hands. Loud sobs racked her body and her chest ached from the pricks of her sharp breaths. Her body suffered the agony, begged for mercy, pleaded for help, yet nobody came. Her wails echoed in the room, yet nobody heard. She sat there, in one room of the mansion of an entire family, as her mind deteriorate, all alone.

So? SO? How was it? Was it awesome? Was it horrendous? Whatever you felt about it, please don’t forget to comment it, because all your comments are major motivation for me. So, Stay safe and healthy. Will update soon, kyuki picture abhi baaki hai mere dost ;)

Index:

Part 1: Page 1

Part 2: Page 3

Part 3: Page 6