Originally posted by: eveline
Words vs actions..what is more hurtful!? Today the forum is an uproar about Raghav's words and tomorrow it will be worse. As hard as it is to believe..I love them both!! So if you can please spare me your graciousness and patience and trust..I will just say a few things:
Yes, he uses harsh words..he always has!! And we all know that!! But Pallavi uses harsher actions!! Today and for the last few episodes I see a man who is drinking himself to oblivion. He seems self-destructive, on the edge!! His pain is overflowing. If the words are hurting Pallavi, her actions are killing Raghav!! Everytime he looks at her he sees her clothes, a constant reminder that he is not taking care of his Pallu, not keeping her happy, not pampering or spoiling her like he has always desperately wanted to. Everytime he sees her eating the food..usske gale se khana nahin utarta..how can he eat good food when his love is barely feeding herself. I bet the food tastes like ashes..his house feels like ruins and his whole life's hard work, an empty waste!!
One word that has stuck with me through these episodes..Raghav Rao is a loser!! And he said it himself!! In essence Pallavi's actions are negating his life's hardwork, his struggles, sacrifices and success!! She is killing the man's honor, pride and dignity!! And if you have men in your lives..be it father or husband or in any role..u do know what it means to them..right??!!
In spite of everything, he did not call her employer cause he can't hurt her..simple!! And loving Pallavi has been the hardest thing in his life..it has torn him apart, shredded his esteem, broken his confidence to bits, tested his patience to the limit and made him an object of ridicule in the eyes of near and dear one...if he says that loving her has been a mistake..is he wrong in this context and scenario?? I know we have quite a few married friends here..just ask them about fights in a marriage..contrary to belief..the fights are massive and ugly!! These words are meant to hurt!!
Pallavi is not wrong, never was but I feel that the way she is going about this is not right!! And Raghav is wrong..whatever the justification, the reason, the whole world does the same argument.. does not change one simple fact..what is wrong is wrong!! But in her place if my man is suffering like this..if he is in so much pain..if my marriage is at a point of no return..I would reconsider my stand!! There are better and less confrontational ways of handling this..but again..she is a puppet in the cvs hands and a fictional character ..main bhi kahaan phasi!!
Thanks for this post Eveline.
The parts in bold are exactly how I feel too. Her intention was right but now she's gone off on a tangent as Raghav pointed out and her ego's getting in the way too. She went from legal/illegal to the amount of money required to live a happy life. I don't see why the amount of money you earn has anything to do with it being legal or not. You can steal and still not make a lot of money, or you can make tons of money and it can all be legal. You get the point...
Pallavi fails to see this point with her constant harping on about thode se paise me khush rehna. I would have preferred her to focus more on showing Raghav that he can have a smaller profit margin and still earn a lot money if he cleans up his business. No wonder he feels like she's painting him black and expecting him to turn white, while ignoring all the grays in between. I really hope she learns something out of this too because as they say the road to (Raghav's) hell is paved with good intentions. She reacted very strongly to Abishek's death and then overnight started using these confrontational tactics, and through it all her message was lost. She said she tried to understand him but I don't see this happening. So as his frustration is mounting so is hers, and backing him into a corner isn't going to work. If at all he gives in, it's because he loves her and not because he realizes he needs to stop his illegal activities. So the next time a legal dilemma like this comes up, he'll be back to square one. His questions about the D-fam were really on point because it makes it seem like she has double standards. I've read arguments on the forum and elsewhere about how she cares more for him than others, hence her focus to reform him and not D-fam, but she is still entangled with that family to a great extent, they are part of her inner circle, so this argument falls flat.
And sure, he's her husband and she cares so much about him that she wants to 'save' him from trouble and pain but dard se dard ka ilaaj karna isn't always the best way and definitely not the way she's doing it.
I understand why Raghav is reacting this way, even though I don't like the way he is behaving with her. He's lashing out like a wounded tiger and rather than removing the thorn, she's strewing more in his path. I don't think this is going to work. Amma tried that heavy-handed approach for years and where did that end up? It's all fine to say he's wrong and needs to change his business methods to become legal. Pallavi sees that, we see that, but he himself hasn't felt that compulsion yet. So if she's on a mission to get him to change, she needs to help him understand why, let that feeling arise from within him and then he will do what's necessary. Her words and actions make it seem like she is judging his character in its entirety as opposed to his methods of doing business.
Right now he's moving further and further way from that because of the way she's treating him. He is also acting out every time she tries to 'show him the mirror' and gives him those lectures that are disconnected from reality. If you want to get through to someone you have to communicate in a way that they understand and that shows that you get where they are coming from. Pallavi's not been successful in this regard because the paradigm she's wanting to live in isn't something he can relate to. Also, making him feel inadequate as a provider, hurting not his ego but his pride and his confidence of being able to take care of his family is shoving him into a deeper pit, and he said so a few times already.
Considering Pallavi has had to be in the position of 'provider' to D-fam in the past, I would have expected her to understand this but maybe she will in time. That scene where she sits on the bed, tired after returning from work, her back to him, hunched over, hit him hard because as the richest man in Hyderabad he had to see his wife 'toiling' just to feed herself. (Brilliant scene by the way, no words were used but the emotions were clear in Raghav's eyes). It's not about male ego here but the sense of despair a person feels when suddenly his or her ability to care for the family is being challenged or stripped off. I've been in that position of provider myself as a woman so I totally understand how humiliated he feels (Motwani's words, the medias, etc.) Why doesn't she adjust her tactics?
I've seen many comments about the onus being on Raghav to change. I personally disagree because at present the onus is on Pallavi to use the right approach for her Swachh Raghav Abhiyaan, especially because this is a one-sided effort by her. The day Raghav realizes he wants to turn things around, then I'd say the onus is on him to work on fixing this. That day hasn't yet come. Not sure if I was able to explain this bit... 😕
As for what he's telling her in anger in a drunken state, I wouldn't put much weight there. Couples fight and say all sorts of things and they get over it. As for him saying loving her was a mistake, that comment wasn't directed so much at her as at himself. He had always stayed away from 'love' because he knew it would destroy him, yet he fell into it eventually and is now suffering for it.
Edited by inlieu - 4 years ago
Hindi TV Shows
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
