Well, I certainly didn't think I would be that inspired to write after watching today's episode... especially considering it has been years since I have been a part of any forum here.
This OS is absolutely abstract, and may not flow the way most stories do. Honestly, this is more of an introspect for my beloved Sai who has become one of my all-time favourite leads.
Please feel free to provide any constructive criticism, happy to take it on board as improvement.
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She was tired of hearing the same thing. Repeatedly.
Her husband loved her, and she was going to drive him away with her own misunderstanding.
It was evidently very easy for everyone else to make that judgement, but what about her? The unwanted wife? The young woman who was nothing more than zimmedari for the man who promised her Aaba she would not be alone?
What was love anyway? Being lied to all the time? Being accused of betrayal because she had male friends? Being considered a nuisance and yet also being told she had great responsibilities to her in-laws?
Sai had almost reached her limit, and yet something kept her tied to her guardian.
The guardian who expected that she keep no secrets, and yet couldn’t tell her the truth about why Pakhi Di wanted to meet him at the café. Who couldn’t tell the truth about why their hands were clasped around the other as though they could not be kept apart. Who couldn’t even tell his own brother the truth about his former relationship.
And yet… the guardian whom she knew would hold his end of the bargain. After all, such a principled man could not break his promises right?
Then why could she not let Virat sir go? Why was she trying so hard to keep him close to his family? That family who did not accept her as their own?
Something inside of her knew that her feelings had exceeded her commitment to a bargain, however those feelings could not bloom under the pressure she continuously faced.
Sai could wholeheartedly admit that she cared for her Virat sir; after all, he supported her right to study, to become independent…within the confines of his family, her mind treacherously reminded her.
Her heart wasn’t so sure. Was there truth to what Bua said? Could Virat sir really love her?
Wait a minute Sai. Virat sir hasn’t told you himself that he loves you. In fact, all he keeps saying is that you have it wrong. But what do I have wrong if he can’t tell me himself how he feels? Why do I have to be the one to realise these supposed feelings? Yes, I have said things that have hurt him, but does he not pay attention to how much it hurts me? Instead he constantly feels the need to talk to Pakhi di about our…situation, but gets upset if I question why they constantly talk. They were in love once, why is it so difficult to think that they still can’t be in love now? Pakhi di especially!
No matter what anyone said to her or about her, one thing was for certain. The closeness between Virat sir and Pakhi di had to end if Virat sir was truly in love with Sai. No woman could stand around and let a man hurt her when he obviously couldn’t move on from his first love. She hadn’t asked to be in this situation, let alone having to navigate his family’s feelings about the right thing to do.
She had only requested Virat sir’s transfer to be held because his family were utterly heartbroken at the idea of their beloved son not being near them. Her feelings did not matter, but she was forced to bear the pain of that choice.
However, it all came back down to love. Let everyone think what they wanted, Sai was not going to let this affect her state of mind.
Except you’ve told Pakhi di off a bit too much Sai. Why can’t you say the same to Virat sir? Are both of them not at fault for the closeness you’ve been subjected to? Or… is there some truth to what Bua and Sunny bhaiya have been telling you? Maybe that love you think is shared, is only felt by one person. Maybe Virat sir really doesn’t feel anything for her any longer. Maybe he’s trying to spare you the pain of what he knows. Maybe there’s more to this, and perhaps it’s time for you to realise a few things.
Maybe those so-called feelings are a bud of love. A love that transcends the love for your Aaba. A love that has no boundaries, no sense of right or wrong. Love that just is. Love that is for your husband.
Lost in thought of the possibilities of being wrong about everything, Sai hadn’t realised that she was musing out loud. In fact it wasn’t until she heard the sound of a door slamming shut that she looked up.
Why was Virat sir staring at her so intently?
end.
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CID
Anupamaa
Haven For Her
