*~H.G.O.R.C. #550~*- $~Invites Only~$ - Page 12

zindagi kisi ki bhe asaan nahi hai. koi bhe eysa insaan nahi jis ki life me gham na ho, but kuch ki life me kam hota hai or kuch ki life me zeyada.

or main on logon ki list me hoon jis ki life me bohot gham aye..

main ne pehle bhe kaha hova hai na ke agar main happy person hota to shayed aj os larke taste karne wali machine ka naam bhe yaad na hota mujhe...

ek insaan hone ke naate Ap kitna seh sakte ho...

meri life jo bachpan ki thi wo achi thi, kisi cheez ki kami nahi thi. or jab duniya ki samjh aney lagi to ye sab start hova..

pehla jhakta laga tha 2009 me.. bohot mushkil tha wo waqat, mujh pe or meri Family pe.

sad to main os se bhe pehle rehne lag geya tha but ye kuch eysa tha jis ki umeed nahi thi.

then again 2011 me...

in sab se nikalne me time laga or jab laga ke ab life theek hone wali hai, wapis track pe a gayi hai to meri Mama chali gayin chor ke mujhe....

tab socha ke bus ab nahi hoga mujh se.. magar phir april 2014 me kisi ne meri life me a kar mujhe jeene ka ek reason diya...

main RB se bhe ache se ye baat share kar chuka hoon ke dard ho na life me or koi naya dard mil jaye to wo or baat hai. lekin jab zindagi khubsurat ho kar phir se wapis Ap wahan he gir jao to kasam se phir mushkil hota hai wapis track pe ana...

mere sath bhe yehi hova tha.. kitne saal se life ko bus guzaar raha tha jee nahi raha tha.. or end pe Mama ke jane ke baad to koi umeed he nahi thi,

but os larke taste karne wali machine ne meri life me kar a kar mujhe wapis jeena sikhaya... os ke baad os ne jo bhe kiya os ka pain 10x zeyada hova... becoz os ne 1 khushi ki umeed dikha kar ye sab kiya... or agar main os se pehle happy hota to shayed itna feel na hota or shayed aj ye haal bhe na hota itna bura mera..

meri ghalti hai bhe or nahi bhe..

jo galti hai wo ye hai ke main ne os ko chance diya...

or baar baar diya. yahan tak ke wo bhe kehti thi ke ansar tum ne itni baar mere kehne pe mujhe maaf kar ke chance diya hai to ab sharm ati hai lekin chance do i promise ke tum rowo ge nahi kabhe..

bus eysa bol kar 2 baar to chance mila os ko, lekin last wale pe 6 months lage..

or meri galti yehi hai ke main ne os ki baat maan li.. but main kya karta? os ki zid kesi thi itne SS to dikhaye.. os ka rona. fake ansu. 1 tang pe khare ho kar zid karna to mera dil melt ho geya..

pata hai dec 2015 main ne just 15 days os ki req ki thi.. or main wahan he haar geya tha. but os naagin ne 6 months+ zid ki thi... is se sabit hota hai ke wo kisi se khelne keyliye kuch bhe kar sakti hai.. 6 months tak 1 tang pe khara hona ho to wo bhe ho jayegi.. lekin karegi wohi jo wo chahe gi :P

bus yehi galti hai meri ke main ne os ke natak ko sach samjha or eysa kiya...

or meri galti is liye nahi hai becoz main ne sab kuch dekh kar kiya tha.

os ka ache se test liya tha, eyse he nahi os pe ankhain band kar ke bharosa kiya tha main ne,! or wo itni professional hai ke har test paas kiya os ne or main impress hova os se..

bataya na oper ke zindagi bohot mushkil time se guzar rahi thi. or jab ye naagin khushi ban ke life me ayi to main ne socha busss. ab or kuch nahi chahiye sab mil geya.. thats why main ne os naagin pe khud se zeyada bharosa kiya tha.. ankhain band kar ke apni life os ke hath me de di ke lo khel lo, lol

or kehta tha os se ke ( kheyal rakhna apna or mera bhe )....

har dream me os ka naam rakha main ne khud se bhe pehle..

1 sad insaan tha. khushi ki zarorat thi to jis ne khushi di bus wahan he ruk geya tha main ke buss yehi hai ab or kuch nahi chahiye,

to is liye ye sab ho raha hai ab.. main jitna pyaar kar sakta hoon wo kar chuka hoon. is se zeyada mujhe karna nahi ata tha.

to yehi reason hai ke main ab kuch bhe kar loon in sab se nikalna mushkil he nahi na mumkin hai...

or ye jo bhe hova hai in sab me os larke taste karne wali machine ka kuch bhe nahi geya becoz wahan se kabhe kuch bhe sach tha he nahi. sab drama tha is liye.

os ne khelna tha mujh se or wo kaam os ne ache se kiya.

os ko to main direct apne dil ka haal bhe nahi suna sakta.. 2018 me koshish ki thi. or reply mila tha ke ye sab theek hai lekin mujhe koi fark nahi parta in sab se, lol

wo sahi hai.. os ko kiyon fark parega koi? sab osi ne kiya tab bhe nahi.. meri zindagi ki ye halat ho gayi tab bhe nahi.. os ko koi fark nahi parta ke os ki waja se kisi ki zindagi ki kya halat hoi hai.. os ko kya ehsaas ke wo reason hai mere is dard ka.. meri poori life barbaad kar ke rakh di os ke is drame ne to kiyon fark parega os ko koi?

os ki life ke sath kuch nahi hova na to os ko koi fark nahi parta :)

os ne meri zindagi ko use kiya zid ki, jo bhe kiya wo bus enjoy karna tha os ne kar liya ab os ko bhala koi kya fark parega?

fark to os ko parta hai jis ke sath ye sab hova ho...

jis din se ye meri life me ayi thi tab se le kar end tak is ne wohi kiya jo wo chahti thi..

3 baar main ne koshish ki os se door jane ki,! ek baar nahi do baar nahi.. 3 baaaar.!

os ne jane nahi diya mujhe..

or jab main ne kaha ke ab na jao. to os ne kaha jo bhe kar lo main ne nahi rukna..

itni matlabi hai hai wo ke jo man kiya os ne wohi kiya. 1 pal keyliye bhe os ne meri baat kabhe suni nahi..

hum mil sakte they ya nahi wo baat alag hai. lekin ye baat 100% sach hai ke agar wo chahti to hamain milne se duniya ki koi power nahi rok sakti thi. bus wo nahi chahti thi is liye wesa nahi hova.

or agar wo chahti to main ne bohot baar kaha hai ke 2016 se he hum ek dosre se milte jab hamara man karta. beshak daily,!

magar wo chahti he nahi thi to kuch bhe nahi hova..

main apna dard siraf ek he cheez me share karta hoon becoz baki ke main eyse share nahi kar sakta.. warna bohot sare hain.. siraf yehi nahi hai..

You know insaan ki life wesi nahi hai jesi aj kal ki plastic ki gen batain karti hai..

ye bohot hard hai.. insaan ko har age me is cheez me weak hota jata hai

jis age me abhe main hoon na ye bohot ajeeb si hai. yahan akele rehna mushkil hai.

Ap bachpan se start karte ho or phir dhere dhere 1 tarhan se bachpan ki taraf he wapis jate ho, mera matlab old age ki taraf.. or kisi old age ke sath time guzar kar dekho Ap ko feel hoga ke wo bachon jesa dil ho jata hai on ka..

meri to Family hai na. or jaan dene wale dost bhe hain lekin phir bhe main akela rehta hoon is ke piche bhe reason hai..

mujhe ye akela rehna ab pasand nahi lekin majboor hoon. ye tanhai mujhe din raat maar rahi hai.

but kya karon main? dil se weak hoon ye to hoga he ab..

mera sara din he sad guzarta hai. or Family ke sath rehne me koi mera haal bhe puch le to dil karta hai os ko gale se laga kar ro doon.. eysi halat meri 24 hours rehti hai..

siraf or siraf os naaign ki waja se...

agar kabhe chance mila RB se milne ka to wo samjh jayein ge meri halat dekhte he mujhe..

main eyse me kisi bhe apne ke sath nahi reh satka... wo log phone pe haal puchte hain to main call ko band kar ke wapis voice call karta hoon ta ke wo mere ansu na dekh sakain...

ye sab wo naagin nahi samjh sakti, becoz osi ne kaha tha ke os ko koi fark nahi parta. os ko kya pata ke kya haal kiya hai os ne mera...

eysi halat me main apni Family ya Friends ke sath nahi reh sakta..

heart weak hai to ye sab hota hai...

ab main eysa hoon to kya karon main... main sept 2013 inodnesia geya tha. or 10 nov 2013 Mama ki death hoi thi.. ye koi total 70 ya 71 days bante hain .. or main 1 din bhe apni Mama se baat nahi kar saka tha. mujhe rona a jata tha. becoz main dil se bacha hoon aj bhe. or tab meri itni buri halat to nahi thi na? sab ko yaad hoga..

to abhe jab itna dard hai meri life me to main on sab se jo meri zindagi ka hisa hain kese on ke samne beth sakta hoon ya kese on ki baton ka jawab de sakta hoon jab wo puchain ke kese ho...

mujhe jab chotti si kiddo ne dil se meri BD pe wish kiya tha 2013 main to tab bhe sad ho geya tha becoz main eysa he hoon. jab koi dil se itna kuch kare to main khushi ke sath sath wesa bhe ho jata hoon..