Heartbreaking. - Page 18

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

Honestly, I would not have been able to tolerate his double standards.

Forget any relationship or spousal expectations. Look at it from the POV of fairness. Where is his sense of fairness? When you create a ruckus at anybody's lie, you should not lie yourself.

So the moment he started creating tamasha over whom Sai interacts with, his own sense of fairness should have made him cautious in his own behaviour towards Pakhi - irrespective of Sai.

Can anyone tell me why he needs to interact with Pakhi so much? I'm not sure what the writers are trying to portray. Virakhi actions have gone beyond usual interaction between family members. Pakhi comes into their room as and when she likes, he goes into her room during a fight, she brings him food, he asks her for food, she interferes in their relationship. None of these actions are necessary and totally avoidable. Only place where I may understand him is when he oversteps in a moment of guilt. Honestly such instances have been few and far between. Most of their interactions have been avoidable and inappropriate. Will he take the same liberty with Karishma? So he does know how to behave with a brother's wife.👏 If Samrat were to witness their interactions, he will be very very hurt.

He foolishly convinces himself that he is keeping the maryada of relationships just because his intentions are pure. Are good intentions enough?

When I watch the last couple of episodes, I feel much more for Sai. This is a very sensitive issue - it can create a huge chasm in a marriage - even a normal one. Vaada, deal marriage I can understand, but his careless behaviour with Pakhi doesn't earn any sympathies.

Thats why I keep insisting he needs to clear the vaada, the deal , the relationship..Just because they have not shown what a woman goes through seeing these subtle communication between her husband and his ex-lover does not mean it should not be understood.. Yes he has done a lot for this relationship but he has not done something that is the most needed thing in this relationship..To let the partner know of things that she has miscnceptions about , especially when his wife has been abused by ex-lover so so so so many times..He cant let it go with Oh she does not love me , I'll give her cold shoulder... I am not sure if I will be not be given this scene in the episode, I will continue..Confession or no confession..AT this point I dont even think their relationship needs any confession at all...Once this mess is sorted out the confession is an organic process..Or probably they wont even need that.. Thats Sairat for me..

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

Thats why I keep insisting he needs to clear the vaada, the deal , the relationship..Just because the have not shown what a woman goes through seeing these subtle communication between her husband and his ex-lover does not mean it should not be understood.. Yes he has done a lot for this relationship but he has not done something that is the most needed thing in this relationship..To let the partner know of things that she has miscnceptions about , especially when his wife has been abused by ex-lover so so so so many times..He cant let it go with Oh she does not love , I'll give her cold shoulder... I am not sure if I will be not be given this scene in the episode, I will continue..Confession or no confession..AT this point I dont even think their relationship needs any confession at all...Once this mess is sorted out the confession is an organic process..Or probably they wont even not need that.. Thats Sairat for me..

Asmi, this is spot on. I have been saying this for quite some time now. Sai is already in love with Virat and she can already see his love for her, but the problem is that she isn't giving herself permission to accept neither her own nor his feelings. If he can clear up the past and affirm the reality of this relationship, she will finally be able to get over her mental roadblock... she will finally be able to label everything she is sensing as "love" .....

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

Honestly, I would not have been able to tolerate his double standards.

Forget any relationship or spousal expectations. Look at it from the POV of fairness. Where is his sense of fairness? When you create a ruckus at anybody's lie, you should not lie yourself.

So the moment he started creating tamasha over whom Sai interacts with, his own sense of fairness should have made him cautious in his own behaviour towards Pakhi - irrespective of Sai.

Can anyone tell me why he needs to interact with Pakhi so much? I'm not sure what the writers are trying to portray. Virakhi actions have gone beyond usual interaction between family members. Pakhi comes into their room as and when she likes, he goes into her room during a fight, she brings him food, he asks her for food, she interferes in their relationship. None of these actions are necessary and totally avoidable. Only place where I may understand him is when he oversteps in a moment of guilt. Honestly such instances have been few and far between. Most of their interactions have been avoidable and inappropriate. Will he take the same liberty with Karishma? So he does know how to behave with a brother's wife.👏 If Samrat were to witness their interactions, he will be very very hurt.

He foolishly convinces himself that he is keeping the maryada of relationships just because his intentions are pure. Are good intentions enough?

When I watch the last couple of episodes, I feel much more for Sai. This is a very sensitive issue - it can create a huge chasm in a marriage - even a normal one. Vaada, deal marriage I can understand, but his careless behaviour with Pakhi doesn't earn any sympathies.

What do I say? I have also felt like this always and it is as if it is a very normal thing to do. The way he would do it casually can get into one’s nerves.

@blue 👏👏 exactly, forget spousal relationship. It doesn’t sound fair in anyway.

@bold I have always thought that it is all because he thinks Pakhi to be his friend and had promised her that he will be there for her as a friend. Then as a friend, is it not his duty to condemn her actions, to put her in her place, to alert her parents so that they can talk to their daughter and help her in some way?

His guilt made him do a few things but he had not once thought how it would come across. Ashwini has also not liked it but she couldn’t ever correct or call out Virat for this behaviour.

@green I am afraid that he is going to be the same in the future too.

@orange It is 😞.

Originally posted by: tptwi

Asmi, this is spot on. I have been saying this for quite some time now. Sai is already in love with Virat and she can already see his love for her, but the problem is that she isn't giving herself permission to accept neither her own nor his feelings. If he can clear up the past and affirm the reality of this relationship, she will finally be able to get over her mental roadblock... she will finally be able to label everything she is sensing as "love" .....

I see her jumping at him the moment he says wo wakti fitoor tha, I dont love her..and she scares me 😆

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

Honestly, I would not have been able to tolerate his double standards.

Forget any relationship or spousal expectations. Look at it from the POV of fairness. Where is his sense of fairness? When you create a ruckus at anybody's lie, you should not lie yourself.

So the moment he started creating tamasha over whom Sai interacts with, his own sense of fairness should have made him cautious in his own behaviour towards Pakhi - irrespective of Sai.

Can anyone tell me why he needs to interact with Pakhi so much? I'm not sure what the writers are trying to portray. Virakhi actions have gone beyond usual interaction between family members. Pakhi comes into their room as and when she likes, he goes into her room during a fight, she brings him food, he asks her for food, she interferes in their relationship. None of these actions are necessary and totally avoidable. Only place where I may understand him is when he oversteps in a moment of guilt. Honestly such instances have been few and far between. Most of their interactions have been avoidable and inappropriate. Will he take the same liberty with Karishma? So he does know how to behave with a brother's wife.👏 If Samrat were to witness their interactions, he will be very very hurt.

He foolishly convinces himself that he is keeping the maryada of relationships just because his intentions are pure. Are good intentions enough?

When I watch the last couple of episodes, I feel much more for Sai. This is a very sensitive issue - it can create a huge chasm in a marriage - even a normal one. Vaada, deal marriage I can understand, but his careless behaviour with Pakhi doesn't earn any sympathies.

Nethraa,

Everything you have said here, I agree with to an extent. But, I do have some thoughts that I'm finding it hard to get across, so forgive me if what I am about to say doesn't make any sense...

I don't necessarily see Virat as having double standards. Because to me, that implies that he consciously carries different expectations for himself than he does for Sai. However, I don't see that to be the case. If Virat were secure in this relationship and knew that Sai reciprocates his love, he would not act the way he does when he sees her with her male friends. His outbursts and tamashas come out of his insecurities, not out of anger nor a desire to control Sai. Just in the shop scene, he was encouraging Sai to carry on her friendship with Ajinkya and buy him a gift...telling her that he is a great boy. The circumstances that led him to this point were tragic and unacceptable, but this just goes to show that his problem is not with Sai having male friends...it's with his doubts about his own place in Sai's life.

The issue is that he is unable to recognize the depth of Sai's insecurities when it comes to his past with Pakhi...this is what initially led him to avoid setting "boundaries" with Pakhi, because he knew that he would never cross the line, even if Pakhi tried to.

At this point, I think it is unfair to him to say that he hasn't changed. The boundaries have been set loudly and clearly, but Sai has not been there to witness those interactions. And in fact, even Sai knows that his loyalty in this marriage has never faltered...when Sunny said that Virat ended all commitments to Pakhi, Sai looked at him sympathetically and her question was then why does Pakhi still wait for him? Her problem is more with Pakhi's behavior than it is with Virat's... she was targeting Virat yesterday, because he is the one she feels hurt by... he is the one who can hurt her, because he means something so deeply to her. But, the crux of her frustrations, insecurities coming out were the result of Pakhi's actions and tamashas coupled with Virat's lack of clarity to her... not out of Virat's behavior towards Pakhi....because she, too, knows that Virat has always been faithful... which is why her words implying that he was 2-timing were so unacceptable, no matter how much pain she was in....

In terms of recent moments like Virat grabbing Pakhi's hand at the dining table before the birthday surprise, I honestly attribute that to the writers and am choosing to ignore that even happened, because it was just so out of character...

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

I see her jumping at him the moment he says wo wakti fitoor tha, I dont love her..and she scares me 😆

If only he would use his 2 paisa wala brain and just SAY that I/O crap comments like that was the past- that’s what guys say when they had a torrid flaming meltdown affair to remember!!

Originally posted by: tptwi

Nethraa,

Everything you have said here, I agree with to an extent. But, I do have some thoughts that I'm finding it hard to get across, so forgive me if what I am about to say doesn't make any sense...

I don't necessarily see Virat as having double standards. Because to me, that implies that he consciously carries different expectations for himself than he does for Sai. However, I don't see that to be the case. If Virat were secure in this relationship and knew that Sai reciprocates his love, he would not act the way he does when he sees her with her male friends. His outbursts and tamashas come out of his insecurities, not out of anger nor a desire to control Sai. Just in the shop scene, he was encouraging Sai to carry on her friendship with Ajinkya and buy him a gift...telling her that he is a great boy. The circumstances that led him to this point were tragic and unacceptable, but this just goes to show that his problem is not with Sai having male friends...it's with his doubts about his own place in Sai's life.

The issue is that he is unable to recognize the depth of Sai's insecurities when it comes to his past with Pakhi...this is what initially led him to avoid setting "boundaries" with Pakhi, because he knew that he would never cross the line, even if Pakhi tried to.

At this point, I think it is unfair to him to say that he hasn't changed. The boundaries have been set loudly and clearly, but Sai has not been there to witness those interactions. And in fact, even Sai knows that his loyalty in this marriage has never faltered...when Sunny said that Virat ended all commitments to Pakhi, Sai looked at him sympathetically and her question was then why does Pakhi still wait for him? Her problem is more with Pakhi's behavior than it is with Virat's... she was targeting Virat yesterday, because he is the one she feels hurt by... he is the one who can hurt her, because he means something so deeply to her. But, the crux of her frustrations, insecurities coming out were the result of Pakhi's actions and tamashas coupled with Virat's lack of clarity to her... not out of Virat's behavior towards Pakhi....because she, too, knows that Virat has always been faithful... which is why her words implying that he was 2-timing were so unacceptable, no matter how much pain she was in....

In terms of recent moments like Virat grabbing Pakhi's hand at the dining table before the birthday surprise, I honestly attribute that to the writers and am choosing to ignore that even happened, because it was just so out of character...

Pooja 🤗

Your patience is extraordinary. I have been eating your brain since yesterday...😆

Now I understand where our thinking differs. Just in our definition of 'hypocrisy'. You define hypocrisy as consciously carrying different expectations for Sai and himself. My definition is - difference in behaviour for the same circumstances - even if it is not consciously.

Everyone acts hypocritically at some point - we are called out, we realise our mistake and change our behaviour. When do we behave this way in the first place - when we can afford to, when we take the other person for granted, when we are insensitive.

If Virat's 'hypocrisy' had been over smaller issues, I would have taken it as part and parcel of the power dynamics in their relationship - and not been so harsh on him. The reason why I am bashing him so much is because this is too sensitive a matter. It is the most fundamental point in a marriage - even unintentional mistakes can cause huge problems, unfair suspicions can cause breakdown of a relationship as we saw in Ajinkya issue. In a matter of such grave importance, how the hell can Virat be so careless? How can he take this fundemental aspect for granted? He simply cannot afford to.

Not only that, having such an expectation from another person is a huuuuge deal. It automatically comes attached with responsibility. It's not like expecting someone to have dinner or to go to the movie etc. Its too big an expectation. So when he exerts husband rights on Sai - his expectations in her interactions with guys, he is automatically expected to follow suit in his own life - irrespective of what Sai says or does not stay.

I'm again not implying that he consciously carries different expectations from himself and Sai. Infact I had written in another post that if Sai had done his dhulaai on this issue, he would have fallen in line. It is just his tendency to take things for granted - unfortunately he cannot afford to be like this - it's too sensitive an issue.

He has changed - not out of realisation of his mistakes, but due to his changed dynamics with Pakhi - after discovering that she is a psycho.

I was about to cite the dinner hand holding..🤔

@bold You think so? Don't you think it's a culmination of all the factors together including his behaviour with Pakhi? The main obviously being the vaada?

I too have problems with her two-timing comment because she knows that it is not true - he is not having any dishonorable intentions towards Pakhi or herself.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

Pooja 🤗

Your patience is extraordinary. I have been eating your brain since yesterday...😆

Now I understand where our thinking differs. Just in our definition of 'hypocrisy'. You define hypocrisy as consciously carrying different expectations for Sai and himself. My definition is - difference in behaviour for the same circumstances - even if it is not consciously.

Everyone acts hypocritically at some point - we are called out, we realise our mistake and change our behaviour. When do we behave this way in the first place - when we can afford to, when we take the other person for granted, when we are insensitive.

If Virat's 'hypocrisy' had been over smaller issues, I would have taken it as part and parcel of the power dynamics in their relationship - and not been so harsh on him. The reason why I am bashing him so much is because this is too sensitive a matter. It is the most fundamental point in a marriage - even unintentional mistakes can cause huge problems, unfair suspicions can cause breakdown of a relationship as we saw in Ajinkya issue. In a matter of such grave importance, how the hell can Virat be so careless? How can he take this fundemental aspect for granted? He simply cannot afford to.

Not only that, having such an expectation from another person is a huuuuge deal. It automatically comes attached with responsibility. It's not like expecting someone to have dinner or to go to the movie etc. Its too big an expectation. So when he exerts husband rights on Sai - his expectations in her interactions with guys, he is automatically expected to follow suit in his own life - irrespective of what Sai says or does not stay.

I'm again not implying that he consciously carries different expectations from himself and Sai. Infact I had written in another post that if Sai had done his dhulaai on this issue, he would have fallen in line. It is just his tendency to take things for granted - unfortunately he cannot afford to be like this - it's too sensitive an issue.

He has changed - not out of realisation of his mistakes, but due to his changed dynamics with Pakhi - after discovering that she is a psycho.

I was about to cite the dinner hand holding..🤔

@bold You think so? Don't you think it's a culmination of all the factors together including his behaviour with Pakhi? The main obviously being the vaada?

I too have problems with her two-timing comment because she knows that it is not true - he is not having any dishonorable intentions towards Pakhi or herself.

I love having these discussions with you! No matter how much my brain gets fried… you force me to really dig deep and think 🤣🤗

Yes, I think you are right. We are defining hypocrisy in different ways.

In terms of Sai’s insecurities, yes obviously they are a culmination of everything like you have said. But, there are 2 things that seem to stand out…

1. Pakhi’s behavior towards Virat. She clearly asks Virat why Pakhi is still waiting around for him. And what makes Sai think that Pakhi is still waiting around? Pakhi saying Virat shattered her dreams in the middle of the night outside of their bedroom, Pakhi indirectly confessing her love for Virat in front of the entire family, Pakhi treating Virat like she has some sort of undeniable right over him… this is the behavior that Sai cannot tolerate, despite her not saying much about it or avoiding it entirely in the moments that it happens. In her monologue, Sai asks why Virat hasn’t told Pakhi that he doesn’t love her. She does not know that Virat has put Pakhi in her place, but she is a psycho who will never learn and will always be after him. So, all of this makes me think that the trigger is Pakhi’s behavior…. Because if we think about it, everything on Virat’s end has always been about Sai… and especially in recent times… and Sai sees that.

1. The problem Sai has is not with Virat’s behavior per se, but with his lack of words. Lack of words clarifying the past to Sai and making this marriage real if that is how he feels. And, also lack of words to Pakhi telling her that she means nothing to him (because, again, she does not know that this has already happened). Again, Sai places emphasis on his words. She clings on to practically everything he says. She is having a hard time understanding what to make of his actions (in terms of how he expresses his love for Sai and perhaps even how she sees that he does not care for Pakhi anymore) and his (lack) of words (in terms of how if everything she is sensing from him is real, then why hasn’t he verbalized any of it).

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

Thats why I keep insisting he needs to clear the vaada, the deal , the relationship..Just because the have not shown what a woman goes through seeing these subtle communication between her husband and his ex-lover does not mean it should not be understood.. Yes he has done a lot for this relationship but he has not done something that is the most needed thing in this relationship..To let the partner know of things that she has miscnceptions about , especially when his wife has been abused by ex-lover so so so so many times..He cant let it go with Oh she does not love , I'll give her cold shoulder... I am not sure if I will be not be given this scene in the episode, I will continue..Confession or no confession..AT this point I dont even think their relationship needs any confession at all...Once this mess is sorted out the confession is an organic process..Or probably they wont even need that.. Thats Sairat for me..

By the same principle (of wanting fidelity) - he must come clean on his past. And clear the deal. And maintain his distance from Pakhi. And put her in place.

@green If they don't show that, there is no point in this track

@red 👏

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

By the same principle (of wanting fidelity) - he must come clean on his past. And clear the deal. And maintain his distance from Pakhi. And put her in place.

@green If they don't show that, there is no point in this track

@red 👏

@bolded: unfortunately if they decide to blindly copy paste, none of this will be happening 🤬 anyways, let's see if vankar changes his ways with rangeela in the picture now....

My dream scene has always been for them to have an explosive fight that ends in Sai asking so many questions that Virat is finally forced to come clean about everything. Think about how painfully honest and beautiful that scene would be. NeilSha would kill it....