Is it something to only feel proud of?

Can I request that we have a healthy discussion before I start? Do not look at it like a bashing post, but something where I need clarification. I am failing to understand this.

So, I just saw the scene where Sai is trying to convince/push Virat to invite Devi Pulkit to CN.

"Maine Devi Tai aur Pulkit Jeeju ki shaadi karwaane jaisa mushkil kaam kiya hai"

The way she is speaking about it with pride is bothering me. Yes, she did defeat the Kaku gang and got Devi united with Pulkit. But the way she is telling this makes it looks like she has forgotten how she had achieved it. She is speaking to the same person with pride from whom she had hid it from.

The below is my understanding:

Virat is in guilt so may be he didn't correct her. If he can't point out her mistake, Ashwini should correct her, scold her. She has not even realised it now because of what happened after that. Like, on the day she returned home after getting them married, she knew she was at fault, she knew that she had hurt Virat, she knew that she had betrayed his trust but she is so affected by the turn of events that she hasn't given that a thought yet. She has still not been able to come out of it even though she is moving like this with Virat. She is doing it or hiding her pain/fear/insecurity that he might do it anytime in future too, she is hiding her pain/thought that she didn't mean anything to him and that's why he did what he did, so that he doesn't get upset, for the sake of him/his health. She is brushing her own hurt/pain under the carpet and that is why, is not able to think of what she had done.

Also, after whatever CN log spoke, she got irritated that she had decided to claim that she was right in what she did. It was more of a fight with the Kaku gang that she didn't want to accept that she was wrong by doing it without telling anyone. That thought had blinded or should I saw overshadowed her to think or realise that she hid it from Virat too and that she should be apologising to him to have done it behind his back.

Having said all of the above, everytime that she is talking about Devi Pulkit and their wedding, I am made to think how can she not even once realise that she should be speaking about that day to Virat?

How can she not even once think of apologising to have hidden it from him?

Or will she do it once she forgets whatever Virat had done? Just because Virat had done that, can anyone in the position of Sai, not be able to apologise for their own mistake too?

The way she is talking to him proudly makes me think that she has forgotten that she got them married without letting him know. What happened to the Sai who wanted to explain to him at the doorstep? Yes, he had been unfair to her, it is also true that she has not come out of the trauma yet, but when she is talking about all rasams and repeatedly saying that she got them married, how can she not think that she had hurt Virat by doing everything behind his back? I am seriously failing to understand this.

I feel Virat should also express that he was hurt and he did it out of hurt.

Yes, Sai has to realise her mistakes on her own but in this case since he did a bigger one, she might already be too upset to may be think about what led to all these at this point of time. One day she should realise. But if she doesn't then? Virat should one day tell her if this topic comes up once again and not let it go as if nothing happened.

Or even better, Ashwini should make her realise that what she did was wrong since Virat is in guilt.

Sai should learn her mistakes. I have always thought and believed that she should be punished by Virat in some way.

- He should express his displeasure to her about him hiding it from him.

- He can stay indifferent with her or grow angry on her or upset on her, do something but always communicate that he is hurt with her actions.

She will have to learn some lessons too. Unless and until he doesn't communicate his hurt or pain or anger or displeasure, she doesn't seem to be realising. The more he does, she will probably learn to apologise to him when she makes mistakes or has upset him. She will learn that she cannot take him for granted. This is a form of a taking it granted actually.

People like Virat let things go, they get hurt, don't communicate their hurt and one day burst like a volcano (not that I blame him). Instead, he need not let anything go, it is ok to vent out his anger and frustration and let out his feelings. She ought to know how he feels or what she has done or how she has made him feel. Letting it go and then later getting affected that she is acting indifferent is not going to help him too. He will be indirectly letting her take him for granted in such things.

There should be transparency in spousal relationship, he should also be frank and not suppress his hurt so as to avoid conflicts. I wouldn't recommend anyone do it. It need not be a fight, it could be an outburst too. I loved how he had expressed on the night of Amay's arrest. Though both of them had crossed lines at a few places, he did express his hurt. Gradually he/she can learn how to let each other know that they are hurt by the other even without bringing up unwanted things. She should learn to take criticism or him expressing his feelings in the right way, should listen to him and not fight back, try and understand what the problem is. I am sure if he tells it in the way he should, she will understand. But even if he is harsh while expressing his hurt, she should act understanding. Same is true for him too.

She has realised that she has wronged Ashwini and had apologised to her but not to Virat? I want Virat to be frank and express his displeasure rather than pushing things aside. He had taken her responsibility, he is the only main person in her life after her father, he has all rights to correct her and she should learn from him. Them sharing relationship also means that they can/should correct each other's mistakes. I want to see that happening without ego coming in between from both the sides. I want to see them grow together.

I have always believed that the reason for how she is today is because she was a single child, her Dad used to be at work, UM would have been able to correct only to some extent and she was pampered by her Dad. He didn't correct her even when she misbehaved with Virat at GC. He didn't reprimand her, he just apologised to him on her behalf and I have felt that to be one of the reasons for this behavior of hers. I didn't mean to hurt anyone's sentiments/offend anyone but this is what I have felt and this is how it always looked.

I have had a theory/doubt for her to not be apologising to him a few times. Just like how Virat grows angry only on Sai the way he does, just like how he loses control while dealing with Sai a few times, she has this bad habit that she need not be apologising to him since it is Virat. She thinks that it is Virat, so she need not be apologising to him and he will be able to understand why she did what she did? Like "Virat sir hi toh hain, woh samajh chuke honge? Or "Woh mujhse bahut der tak naraaz nahi rahenge, mujhe maaf kar denge?" Like how her Dad might understand? How is it even right? Virat or her, both cannot think "that it is Sai, so it is okay, she will understand" or "it is Virat sir, so it is okay, he will understand".

She apologised to Virat this time at hospital when she brought up Pakhi but is that because she met him after a long time and she had almost lost him sometime back? Doesn't that show that she kind of takes it for granted thinking she need not be apologising to him everytime she makes a mistake? She apologised to him mann hi mann after he put on the bangles or when she was at the mandap, but later due to the turn of events didn't. But what happened now, especially when she is talking about Devi Pulkit rasams? How can she forget that she has to apologise to him now?

What do you guys think as why hasn't Sai apologised now? She has not always apologised to him whenever she has wronged him, she has apologised to even Pulkit and Madhuri if I am right. I don't want me or even you guys to come up with a list of when she did and she didn't apologise.

I am looking for a solution and not comparing Virat or Sai. I know how wrong Virat has also been many times and have criticized him too for all his wrongdoings. So, I want to know from you guys as what do you think is going to help Sai change this attitude of taking Virat for granted by not apologising to him for her mistake?

I have suggested what Virat can do and have also suggested that Ashwini should. Is there any other way that she is going to learn? Or as I always say for any character, is she going to learn from the consequences?

Even if you feel that she has apologised to Virat in the past, then can you share why do you think that while talking so proud of herself about getting Devi Pulkit married, she wasn't reminded that she got it done by hiding the truth from him?

How many of you were disturbed when she spoke about this proudly without apologising to Virat? I have anyway been expecting an apology from her once she returns but thought that she would need time to come out of that trauma. Now that she has started with rasams for the marriage that she helped happen, I thought there is no other right time that she can apologise.

P.s I request to share your views without bashing any character, Virat or Sai. Can we please stick to the context of this topic alone?

As I have already said, expect a few more posts from me tonight 🙈 or may be just one more. Intention is to not create any war, it is only to understand a few things as how certain issues can be addressed. There are people like Sai and Virat in real life too and their flaws actually make things difficult in real life. I support both and criticize both too. This is not to bring out bad qualities of a character, I usually refrain from making such posts but I couldn't help post this today.

Apologies if I do not respond to any of your comments immediately, I might not be available in the forum tomorrow. Will check the comments and reply when I join the forum.

I felt the same way when Sai said those words 😒. And there was definitely pride. It was worrisome.

While Sai did have the best of intentions in the whole affair, the fact was Virat was kept in the dark about it. While I don't expect her to ponder over it at present since she herself is in too much pain I did not expect her to make such a statement either.

In fact, if Sai decides to stay in Virat's life, it is important that they have a heart-to-heart conversation. Sai should acknowledge that her actions hurt Virat.

It is possible that perhaps she was not very respectful of spousal obligation because SaiRat are not exactly a normal couple - their relationship still has a formal arrangement about it.

Will she realise the consequences of her impulsiveness? I do not see that in the near future. She is clearly not introspecting because she has been proved right. In that sense, I have a problem with Virat's redemption too. His guilt was about Sai being right. His actual realisation should have been about his own reactions - tendency to lose control in anger, getting instigated by his family (which he has realised) and the need to punish that he has learnt from his family. He has realised some of it but he needs to identify healthier ways to express his grievances. I just hope he is not bottling up his feelings.

I was wondering how nice it would be if Sai's plans of inviting DevKit backfires badly. 😉 That could be a point of realisation for Sai that she is not always right.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I felt the same way when Sai said those words 😒. And there was definitely pride. It was worrisome.

While Sai did have the best of intentions in the whole affair, the fact was Virat was kept in the dark about it. While I don't expect her to ponder over it at present since she herself is in too much pain I did not expect her to make such a statement either.

In fact, if Sai decides to stay in Virat's life, it is important that they have a heart-to-heart conversation. Sai should acknowledge that her actions hurt Virat.

It is possible that perhaps she was not very respectful of spousal obligation because SaiRat are not exactly a normal couple - their relationship still has a formal arrangement about it.

Will she realise the consequences of her impulsiveness? I do not see that in the near future. She is clearly not introspecting because she has been proved right. In that sense, I have a problem with Virat's redemption too. His guilt was about Sai being right. His actual realisation should have been about his own reactions - tendency to lose control in anger, getting instigated by his family (which he has realised) and the need to punish that he has learnt from his family. He has realised some of it but he needs to identify healthier ways to express his grievances. I just hope he is not bottling up his feelings.

I was wondering how nice it would be if Sai's plans of inviting DevKit backfires badly. 😉 That could be a point of realisation for Sai that she is not always right.

Loved your reply.

Very true, Sai should acknowledge that her actions hurt Virat.

@bold Very true, she is not introspecting because she has been proved right.

And you are very right about Virat too. That is the exact realisation that he should have. It is not like Sai was right, when will he realise that in what way he was wrong. When will he realise that he shouldn't have realised only after getting the evidence? Though his apology all looks good, I am not happy with his redemption.

Another post is coming from me tomorrow or the day after about his expectations and Sai's feelings or her position after the ousting.

Your backfire idea seems nice 😉 but that shouldn't be harmful to Devi or Virat especially now 😒.

Whenever DevKit track happens Sai's character gets butchered. Yesterday's episode did not make any logic to me. She could have atleast say sorry to Virat for hiding things. But no. She is not at all guilty.

Also it would make sense if she invited them for lunch to unite Bhavani and Devyani. But just for a ritual why she's inviting. If Sai has no relationship with that family or house then she absolutely have no right to invite them.

Till yesterday I never felt Sai as rude and arrogant. But now this "I know everything" attitude is getting on my nerves

In ITV FL is always right and will never say sorry.

I am so pissed when she is proud of marring Devi and pulkit.... I agree what she did is right but the way she did is very wrong mainly towards virat and aai.... That's why from last two days I am saying she should apologize... I agree virat is at fault and his mistake is so big and it is overshadowing sai's mistake... But for sai they is nothing to feel proud of especially before virat because she did somewhat cheated him which is not Fair .... And she is not even realizing it.... I am not virat fan i am neutral one, and most people know this but I am upset with sai when ever she is saying Maine shadi karvayi and if I can't invite Devi , I will leave...

She appolized aai for denying food but why can't she say sorry to virat... I don't understand... And I really can't understand the rush to invite devikit especially when virat is not feeling well, she know very well that family is going to make issue out of anything they why to do this now and put stress on virat.... Sorry to ask she is inviting the argument her self and putting virat herself under stress.

Sai is not proud of hiding the facts from Virat, she is proud that she could help 2 people in love be together without the shackles of bk gang. She had to hide things due to circumstances (as harebrained as the plot was, we just have to take it!) She is not apologizing for it now because Virats acts of kicking her out unfortunately have overshadowed her mistakes so much that i honestly feel its become inconsequential. She did learn her lesson- we know that she 100% regrets that she hid things from him. Apologizing for ones mistakes is good practice but it does not mean that if one doesn't verbally say sorry, they dont feel apologetic about how things happened or havent learnt their lesson. Virat himself looks proud and happy that Sai got devkit married. When she said to CN peeps- bhul gaye, maine sab ke khilaaf jakar devi tai ki shaadi karvaai- virat himself gives her a proud look.

While Sai will still remain a little impulsive, stubborn and ziddi, her letting virat know of devkit lunch plan is a step in mutually planning something rather than doing it behind his back. Yes, she needed to convince him to agree to her plan but at the end of the day he did give in and eventually as evidenced by his reaction innthe end if the episode, he is excited about devkit rasam too. this time her potentially "dangerous" plan has Virats approval and isnt all solo like devkit shaadi or amey incident.

Sai does understand if things are explained correctly. Aai has cracked that. She has many reasons for being stubborn/independent/reckless in her attitude- shes a single child who had to raise herself in her dads absence. So her core personality is not going to change. But over time Sairat will understand n accept each others not so desirable traits too or learn to handle it.

Theres always gonna be room for better communication between Sairat or any couple for that matter. But i dont think that Sai hesitates to apologize to people or Virat specifically either. When she realizes her mistake, she repents, berates herself and tries to rectify it. Sometimes she has apologized in words and sometimes she has shown in her actions that she regrets her actions and wants to bury the hatchet and move on. In a spousal relationship, every single thing does not need to be verbalized, certain things are nonverbal communication too. She does not take him for granted but she does sonetimes take a few liberties with him coz she can afford to because he is her husband. Virat is the same way.He only blows his fuse with her. He doesn't lose his cool with anyone the way he does with Sai, why? Coz he can "afford" to. But in a spousal relationship these things happen. As long as they get past it and understand each others pov- thats all that matters in the overall scheme of things. This is not a competition of who said how many sorry's. Its a marriage, not mathematics , not an algebraic equation where LHS = RHS needs to be achieved!

Just wanted to add something else.

There can be no two opinions that Sai should acknowledge that she was wrong in hiding her intentions (DevKit marriage) to Virat and that her actions hurt him.

But what about her actions that are impulsive, but done with Virat's knowledge? How will Virat's reactions be in the future (right now he is being bulldozed due to his guilt 🤣). There are two possibilities:-

1) It bothers him. Then this will continue to be a point of conflict for them. Until they find a middle ground. Communicate better. Sai learns to let go of her instinct of going it all alone, Virat learns effective (and healthy) ways to temper her impulsive instincts.

2) He accepts that his wife will always be a little crazy😉 and lets her have her way with most of her schemes since they all come from good intentions anyway. So just as it is upto Sai to either accept/not accept Virat's mistakes and flaws, it is upto Virat if he is okay with Sai's impulsiveness.

So which Virat can we expect in the future?

Umm. I don't know how much I can contribute. I watched the episode but I started late so missed that scene😆

But I can imagine her saying this proudly.

In ITV female leads apologies:

1. Apologise when they are right.

Or

2. Do not apologise when they are wrong.😆

1. Apologises to people around.

2. Not the one who deserves it the most.😆

It's just how female leads are.😆

Last night while watching Ghum, I was talking to my mother about Imlie. She was telling me about the wrongs of the cheated woman and I told her it is to make the actual wrongs done to her look trivial in comparison and to pave way for the leads to unite happily. (I was reminded of Mauli. Even though Drashti is a big name and they tried to whitewash her character but they never demeaned Mauli to uplift her character. I just loved them for this.) Just then I told her that Virat apologised to Sai for what he did but Sai didn't. This is how it is. One wrong of a person is suppressed under the wrong of another person.

Even though I love Sai but I know she was wrong there. I was hoping for her to apologise even though I knew she won't😆

Did I make sense at all

P.S. this is not a bashing post. Please don't get me wrong😭😆

Originally posted by: Nja91

Sai is not proud of hiding the facts from Virat, she is proud that she could help 2 people in love be together without the shackles of bk gang. She had to hide things due to circumstances (as harebrained as the plot was, we just have to take it!) She is not apologizing for it now because Virats acts of kicking her out unfortunately have overshadowed her mistakes so much that i honestly feel its become inconsequential. She did learn her lesson- we know that she 100% regrets that she hid things from him. Apologizing for ones mistakes is good practice but it does not mean that if one doesn't verbally say sorry, they dont feel apologetic about how things happened or havent learnt their lesson. Virat himself looks proud and happy that Sai got devkit married. When she said to CN peeps- bhul gaye, maine sab ke khilaaf jakar devi tai ki shaadi karvaai- virat himself gives her a proud look.

While Sai will still remain a little impulsive, stubborn and ziddi, her letting virat know of devkit lunch plan is a step in mutually planning something rather than doing it behind his back. Yes, she needed to convince him to agree to her plan but at the end of the day he did give in and eventually as evidenced by his reaction innthe end if the episode, he is excited about devkit rasam too. this time her potentially "dangerous" plan has Virats approval and isnt all solo like devkit shaadi or amey incident.

Sai does understand if things are explained correctly. Aai has cracked that. She has many reasons for being stubborn/independent/reckless in her attitude- shes a single child who had to raise herself in her dads absence. So her core personality is not going to change. But over time Sairat will understand n accept each others not so desirable traits too or learn to handle it.

Theres always gonna be room for better communication between Sairat or any couple for that matter. But i dont think that Sai hesitates to apologize to people or Virat specifically either. When she realizes her mistake, she repents, berates herself and tries to rectify it. Sometimes she has apologized in words and sometimes she has shown in her actions that she regrets her actions and wants to bury the hatchet and move on. In a spousal relationship, every single thing does not need to be verbalized, certain things are nonverbal communication too. She does not take him for granted but she does sonetimes take a few liberties with him coz she can afford to because he is her husband. Virat is the same way.He only blows his fuse with her. He doesn't lose his cool with anyone the way he does with Sai, why? Coz he can "afford" to. But in a spousal relationship these things happen. As long as they get past it and understand each others pov- thats all that matters in the overall scheme of things. This is not a competition of who said how many sorry's. Its a marriage, not mathematics , not an algebraic equation where LHS = RHS needs to be achieved!

@bold I agree and I have thought about it thos way too. But to be frank whether the apology has to be verbalized or not depends on the magnitude of the mistake too. Not all mistakes can be apologised through gestures. The liberty that she is taking is not always right, it has to be kept in check. The same is true for Virat too.

@green I am not saying she is proud of hiding the facts but her proud to have got them married is also wrong because the method was not right. The reason for her pride is because her Dad always might have been proud of ger actions. He also wouldn't have approved of her approach but would have let it go because of the love he had for her and would have only looked at the final result or what she has achieved.

This takes me back to the day when she told Virat on the day he had arrested Amay "agar mere aaba hote toh mete peet thapthapate". She didn't realise that even that day, she need not have done the way she had planned. That dialogue shows that she expects appreciation. Her end result is something one can look at and appreciate but when one looks at her approach, not all will approve of it. That same attitude is what she has carried today by feeling proud to have got them married without even realising that if not for the wedding, therw would have been no fight between her and Virat, forget ousting. Virat was wrong, I blame his shoddy iinvestigation and for him to have blindly believed Sai when he should have found about Pulkit himself. But what she did was also not something that she should consider as inconsequential. Not at all. One has to take ownership of their actions.

@blue yes, that's how it works, move past it. But to be able to truly move past it, both have to learn to respect each other, both have to take responsibility of their actions, both have to realise and accept their mistakes, both have to apologise whenever they go wrong.

One cannot assume that the other is okay with it, the other person could have let things go due to their magnanimity too, the other person could have let it go swallowing their own pride and ego too. The more and more this happens, when a person suppresses their emotions because one person thinks that the other person is or will be okay with it, it will burst one day, it will only affect their relationship.

This is not a small mistake for her to move past it. Virat can be happy for his Sister, with all the rasams planned, doesn't mean that Virat might have never felt that all these wouldn't have happened if she had told him or shared with him. And if Virat had never thought or felt, then it is an even more bigger reason for Sai to realise how magnanimous he is and that she should apologise on her own.

Nothing is an algebraic equation, it is all emotions, respecting the other person's emotions, never neglecting anything and when a person neglects their own mistakes, there can be nothing more bad than it.