Her "takleef" and his "khule huye knots" - Page 2

Originally posted by: Saichintalli

Hi janaki , awesome post and awesome analysis about the knot, frankly speaking I didn't get it when virat said that dialogue but your explanation makes science and made that dialogue meaningful...

Your sentence of aaba handovering his precious treasure to virat gave me goosebumps... I so wished kash sai's Abba zindha hothe, she used to be princess for her father but once he is dead she became just zimmedhari, who everyone claims to love her but tries to shift her zimmedhari to others shoulders like villagers and viart the man who took her zimmedhari now surely developed feeling for her but at the same time she is not yet princess for him like she was to her father.... Even now I support virat's anger for Devi issue but his act of throwing her out and leaving her alone only bcoz he is not ready to listen is pure inhuman... I so wished he realize his inhuman act irrespective of sai being wrong or right.

Your differentiation between sai jhoshi and sai chavan is awesome, I so agree with you..and to your question i that if sai returns after goli things isn't it Sai thing... In my view it's actually a sai thing, because sai thinks with the heart, she do anything for her loved ones , virat didn't want to force her to come back but unknowingly his bullet will force her to come back... But will sai jhosi return, I don't think she will , abhi tho nahi because sai jhosi and sai chavan both trusts virat chavan alot, but sai chavan will return her husband due to love and somewhere she can see his guilt but sai jhosi to return trust should be developed again from scratch.... Because forgiveness can be given seeing the guilt and due concequences but trust , trust is not same forgiveness, it will not instantly, before that incident what ever be the reason sai jhosi always trusted virat chavan that he won't hurt her and leave her... But that trust is broken , so now it should be developed back and it takes lot of time and efforts...

I think almost every wife goes through such feelings during a conflict.. most of the women will have been there and done that (am not denying men their share of dilemma but we are speaking from Sai's perspective)... Not all fights are over being externed from the family house but real marriages have ugly fights as well. Self respect is definitely important but one cannot look at it from just one's own perspective...there are times when the person and the relationship is also important even if he/she deserves cold treatment, even if forgiveness cannot be given immediately. Generally, a wife's pride is usually the one that takes more beating in an 'unequal' marriage and there are many women, who give the husbands chances-- it is not always out of forgiveness but out of the will to 'consider' mending what went wrong. The apology is a must factor. Whether the apology translates into action or not is imperative for the rebuilding to happen.

Originally posted by: Svt611

as always fabulous Janki!!! The more I praise the less it is.

Each and every point you made is actually thought-provoking! As you mentioned the fight here is between the wife and Sai Joshi for who she is...

last time is was Sai Joshi who was hurt but the wife forgave but this time it is both that are in pain and Sai Joshi is taking over the pain because let's face it Sai Joshi is stronger than the wife!

I want to concentrate on your highlighted bit...

Maybe this is my upbringing or maybe the values I instilled in myself watching the relationship of my parents...

Nobody is perfect is something I learned at a very young age watching my own parents fight a lot...

Yet they forgave each other every time... It made me think why is it that my mother forgets her self-respect or for that matter my father as well.. its not like he is the only one starting the fights right!

It made me realize that they stick by because there is something left fighting for, it's easy to leave but it is harder to sort out your differences and start afresh, not that those fights have not been repeated, they have and on a larger scale as well where my sister and I were also involved as the children trying to calm down the parents, yet they always stood up for the other, never let us bad mouth the actions of the other because it was there fight!

Was it wrong for my mother to still stay with her husband despite having two daughters... I don't know, because that was and will always be her decision to make!

It is true that in the moment of anger we make some grave mistakes that dent a person to their core, I'm sure I am not alone when I say this but I have hurt my sister on numerous occasions with venomous words and so has she, yet we share a great bond and have been able to forgive the other.... am I not swallowing my pride and forgiving her or vice versa, just because she is my sister. No, because I see something in our relationship worth fighting for to keep.. Just because you are related by blood does not mean you cannot be toxic to the other person!

I feel people do deserve a chance to work on something BUT that should come from them, no force. Like you said it should be a discussion of what those two in the said relationship want and what is best for them, this happens over time and by sorting out the issues, by taking a stand for the other in front of "GAIR" but explaining to them in private.

There should be a fair chance if you feel there is something worth fighting for! It has to come from the one who has been hurt and from the one who has hurt the other showing with actions and change that they are fixing themselves for the better....

life is not a bed of roses, hell even roses have thorns, it is what we make out of it! At the end of the day, it has to be a mutual decision....

I have come across many couples who have withstood cheating/affairs, abuse, and what not.... Does that make them weak? no, it might actually make them stronger because it is easy to give up and start afresh but harder to fight for when you know there is something left!

But the decision is only on that said individual, only when they feel there is something to fight for, which will not hurt them again like before......

Forgiving will not make you trust the person instantly, of course, it will take time for that strand to re grow till we are able to bury that incident for good and move on... But again it has to be the person's decision.. one cannot be and should not be forced!

I am in no way patriarchal or misogynistic, maybe a little forgiving in my ways, it might come from the way i see the world to be, and what I want out of it.... there are many to never forgive but few who do forgive, forgiveness is also for our own sanity at times, to help us move on and grow!

Like I said it is a decision for that particular individual to make because we don't know what goes on in their mind and what they feel...

Love to you always Janki!! ❤️

Siya!!!!! Can I say I love you for this and I want to hug you so tight. 🤗🤗🤗 You stole my innermost thoughts. And thank you so much for sharing your story. It makes the point so much impactful.

Every marriage has issues that need to be ironed out. No couple, even if they have fallen in love and married, is untouched by some amount of hurt, mistakes and shortcomings. Fights are a part of living together and as you rightly said it's not just between husband and wife but also any member of the family... Siblings, parent-child, extended families etc... If every couple would begin to separate over their words and actions during their moments of rage and loss of control, trust me 97% marriages would fail.

Forgiveness is a very important virtue in a family, between all relationships and most of all between husband and wife -- two people who have come together to create a new family. Forgiveness also depends on a personal value system -- as you mentioned in your opening sentence that it is a very personal trait of how forgiving one is. Some of us are more forgiving than the rest of us and both of the sets of people can be right. Similarly, I think the concept of self respect and pride are also very personal -- of course there are a few basic common parameters on which self respect is based but how it affects the person's actions and reactions is entirely up to them. My idea of self respect may not be the same as that of the person next to me and again, both could be absolutely right. What a person feels in his or her relationship is completely the individual's look out and the choice of forgiving or giving in depends on a lot of other feelings that one may have or not have.

For spouses in a normal marriage a lot is at stake to just decide to call off their relationship in a huff after an ugly fight or an unexpected act by one. If there are children involved, it's even tougher and I see it as their strength if they choose to stay together and work around their issues -- you can't just walk away from everything because there is no guarantee that the next will better. It is what you make of what you have. This is not to say that marriages with absolute abuse and lack of mutual respect must be venerated but it is a call that the individuals must take once they are convinced that there is nothing worth fighting for -- I loved how you put it. It reminded me of the song, "Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for. You can't tell me it's not worth trying for." This is the question one must ask -- is it worth giving another chance or not.

To me, personally, the decision is always based on the 'intention' -- even in the justice system, the guilt of an accused is decided by 'intention'. The punishment is handed out based on this word: intention. Because even law recognises that people commit mistakes unintenionally. There is a reason why there are two different sections even for a crime like murder -- one prescribes punishment for intentional killing and another for unintenionally killing. Not having intended to commit a crime does not mean they have not committed a crime and will go unpunished just because they did not intend. No. Punishment is still awarded but in lesser intensity. The punishment is a reminder to the accused of the mistake that should have not been made -- to be careful next time and to mete justice to the complainant.

At the end of the day, it is about realising mistakes, taking corrective measure and trying to be the better person in a relationship and also for one's own growth.

Love to you and your sister as well, Siya 💕❤️💕

Originally posted by: Shristhi2002

Such an amazing analysis Janki ji, this was really superb, loved each and everypoint.

Actually, Sai Joshi is strong, but Sai Virat Chavan craves support somewhere from the Sai Joshi I guess. Cuz, Sai Joshi is brave, she is feared, she is not underestimated by the people around her, by Sai the wife is none of this, she is insecure,she cannot place what exactly she wants, so she hides and uses this Sai Joshi to guard herself, but she cannot sometimes. The best example is the precap: The Sai Joshi in her did not want to care about the man who hurt her soul , so she was eating peacefully, cuz generally we avoid eating in such instances, but the wife was crying, uncontrollably, cuz she was scared and hurt, but as you said, since Sai Chavan hides, Sai Joshi shows much.

[But it has me think and I would love to hear your views: What is the pedestal that we would like to place Sai Joshi on? Would it be "unlike her" if she goes with her heart that is in love with an imperfect man, who has wronged her a number of times; but to her, he is still a knight who saved her on many occasions, who did not allow anyone to clip her wings but instead showed her the direction in which the wind was flowing... Would it be "unlike her" if she wants to reciprocate the overt gestures he's making towards her to let her know that his feelings have changed? Why would it be "unlike Sai" if she desires to be the 'wife' to a repentant 'husband' when we do not know what would be Sai like in love with a man-- The fact is that almost every marriage goes through a phase where spouses face each other's imperfections, often they are wounded by words and actions. It could be because of something small or a major betrayal and breakdown, where one's pride does not want to let go of the hurt. Many couples go through the cycles of hurt and makeup -- and in the end, they either emerge as better partners or they drift apart, realising that no number of chances can make it work... And yet, once they are in 'love', spouses can't give up on each other. Third persons might pass judgments but the ultimate decision of being together or not totally depends on the two people in a relationship.

Would it be "unlike Sai" to give her marriage a chance, so long as the two of them are willing partners in working their way out together through the maze that they have turned their relationship into? ]

This question, mera sawaal ko jawaab nahi, sawaal hi hai🤣

Will Sai Joshi not come along with Sai Chavan. Cuz, Sai Chavan will love Unconditionally ,but will the Sai Joshi in her remain silent when the CN or Didi turns Vile.

So, won't we then have a Sai Joshi + Husband loving quality added to it only 🤔

Not one bit with anyone else except him when he's being reasonable. Even with him, when needed, she will be Sai Joshi 😂 I don't think he'd even expect her to leave Sai Joshi behind because he loves Sai Joshi... For her to love him, she has to become Sau Sai Chavan 😅

Originally posted by: Roch

Beautiful post, and as usual nicely captured all the emotions in words.

Well this track which was introduced mostly looked liked was for Virat's growth or realization but mainly was for Sai. Yes Virat did realize Sai's worth in the end and also understood that he had bruised her self respect as a human and a wife. And that's the reason he knows he will not be able to push it. An understanding from a man who is hurt and knows what mistake has been done.

Right now all we see is Sai Joshi, who wants to stand tall and conquer the world. She is her Abba's girl and wants achieve her dreams. But there is another reality to this girl who has fallen in love, she is also a wife and at present deeply hurt due to her husbands behavior. Her parting words to him were a give away, "Aapne jis tarah humare rishte ki bezaati ki hain na, kissi aur rishtey ki mat karna". Was the she referring to that one incident dont think so, since day one she has felt insulted in that relation due to the imaginary wife lingering around and now the hurt has been topped up with ruthless behavior of her husband.

But is it right for the Sai Joshi to give in, would she loose her core. Don't think just because i choose a loved one over my pride does not make me small. Every person needs someone in their life to fall back on like a companion (as rightly said by Virat in one of their fight). All said and done, Virat has been that companion for her, he has been there for her, stood by her but along with that she has also revived the monster in him. Today Virat doesn't know how to tame that monster and that can only be done by Sai. And affection, love does have an impact and leads to change.

Both Sai and Virat need to grow individually and as a couple, they need to learn to lend a ear to each other first than the rest of the Makad sena and most of all the Vixen in that house.

Though i think Pulkit as a character is very weak, there was one line he mentioned, its very easy to break a relation but difficult to sustain one. So does it mean she gives up her self respect for this relation, dont think so she would not have to do that. As this time he has realized that in the whole world were she had lost everything the only thing that stayed with her was Self respect. So if she returns to him leaving that aside then its Virat who needs to treasure it.

Growth has to happen from both ends, mainly Virat as he is the mature one.

@bold: No she wasn't referring to the one incident but to the entire marriage being a deal and his heart being elsewhere T&C's... She didn't raise those issues to pick fight with him but she conveyed figuratively how this action was the final nail in the coffin. That is why I asked a few days back would it have been easy if their's had been a normal marriage? It would have not been easy for him to throw her out in a moment and it would have been difficult for her to go behind his back in such a manner, without trying to convince him at least one more time.

Not just her sentence here but also what Virat said during the tamasha -- tum Ghar mein thi hi kab, Maine roka the... It was his anguish of her 'mujhe Kaunsa hamesha rehna hai' attitude. Just like her 'takleef' of the entire marriage was summarised in that one dialogue, even he said a few things that were in contradiction to what he was trying to say: "Apni Patni ko Uske hi Ghar se Nikal Raha hoon", "Mohit Teri Vahini ab iss Ghar mein Nahi rahegi"... Etc... He had not disowned her as much as he tried to show to satiate the Makad Sena that was baying for blood. The action was unjustifiable but it happened.

But I think if they give each other a chance, overall growth of both is a must. Both have faulted and both are definitely far from being the best versions of themselves that they must offer each other.

What a fabulous post Janki!

Would it be unlike Sai? No actually not. For all the differences you mentioned between Sai Joshi and Sai Chawan, so many times, I saw glimpses of a married woman when she refused to go back. In fact, I hardly saw the 19 year old child bride, like we normally see her as.

The way she said, this a practical decision, I didn't cry. Somehow, it broke my heart because when a young girl sees her husband with hands folded, a husband who has been charming at times, supportive at times, childlike at times. It would have been very easy for her to give in. This was Sai Virat Chawan, who genuinely thought through her decision and decided, they are not compatible enough to weather through this together and through life together.

Would she be letting go of her self respect if she came back? Tough question.

When I fight with my husband, and like most couples, some have been ugly. I know I have said some mean things and so has he. Through he years, we have this understanding that whaevert counts as hitting below the belt, is not allowed during our fights. We know our respective triggers. Does that mean, it may not happen? No. It does happen, but even if I am sure I am right, I apologize if I have used those triggers and so does he! This understanding comes over many years of staying together as husband and wife.

For Sai, she knows his weakness is his family. I think she can handle his family for his sake. But her trigger is actually Pakhi and the chord that binds Virat and Pakhi.

Now whenever she's back, it is Virat's responsibility to also understand her, not just admire her, or indulge her as a kid. He also needs to treat her as Sai Virat Chawan.

Jankiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii🤗

I think all our worst fears have come true. The Virat - Pakhi confrontation dialogues were so good, and now the scriptwriters have given their brains a year off. So, we must mentally be prepared for cringy dialogues and shoddy storylines.

I loved your analysis of the difference between Sai Joshi and Sai Virat Chavan. I think that is the easiest way to define the inner conflict within Sai. Virat has breached the walls of the Sinhagadh Khila that she built around her heart, with his patience, care, and even love. And then, all of a sudden, he has shattered her heart with a hammer, and now she's trying to pick up pieces of it and put it back together.

I feel like Pulkit is kind of overdoing it, pushing Sai towards Virat when she's forcefully resisting, and it is only adding salt to her wounds. I'm not going to talk about Devyani, because she's still not in the right state of mind, and her leaning towards Virat, especially after him coming to their house was a given. But, I personally feel that they're trying to make Pulkit the cupid here (in the worst way possible). There a quite a lot of people who are taking Sai's side, telling Virat how wrong he was in ousting her, and he should make amends. But the minute he does make amends, they think that Sai should heal. There are many people who sympathize with Sai, but no one who empathizes with her, not even Ashwini. And you can clearly see it in her dialogues after Virat came back from GC "Woh kaise nahi aayegi?" and "Usko wapas aana hi padega." or something along those lines. Usha Maushi, I'm not even going to say anything about her, because she just irks me. I'm glad that she's been left behind in GC.

But it has me think and I would love to hear your views: What is the pedestal that we would like to place Sai Joshi on? Would it be "unlike her" if she goes with her heart that is in love with an imperfect man, who has wronged her a number of times; but to her, he is still a knight who saved her on many occasions, who did not allow anyone to clip her wings but instead showed her the direction in which the wind was flowing... Would it be "unlike her" if she wants to reciprocate the overt gestures he's making towards her to let her know that his feelings have changed? Why would it be "unlike Sai" if she desires to be the 'wife' to a repentant 'husband' when we do not know what would be Sai like in love with a man-- The fact is that almost every marriage goes through a phase where spouses face each other's imperfections, often they are wounded by words and actions. It could be because of something small or a major betrayal and breakdown, where one's pride does not want to let go of the hurt. Many couples go through the cycles of hurt and makeup -- and in the end, they either emerge as better partners or they drift apart, realising that no number of chances can make it work... And yet, once they are in 'love', spouses can't give up on each other. Third persons might pass judgments but the ultimate decision of being together or not totally depends on the two people in a relationship.

Would it be "unlike Sai" to give her marriage a chance, so long as the two of them are willing partners in working their way out together through the maze that they have turned their relationship into?

This point of yours is quite tricky to answer, but I'll try my best to be unbiased and not get carried away😳. Sai and Virat's relationship is not something that was forged in a day or within moments, where both of them were pulled towards each other at a single glance, without knowing anything else about the other. They built it slowly, yet steadily, brick by brick. At the moment, for Sai, and for all of us viewers, Virat might be the man who ousted her in the middle of the night, especially when she had no where to go. But he is also the same man who stood by her when everyone else was reluctant to. He was the man who her aaba trusted despite the number of people who were present around him. He was the man who literally gave her a new lease of life when she thought that all was lost. So, no, it would not be unlikely of Sai Joshi to go back to this man. It would be unlikely of her to not call him out for it, but it wouldn't be unlikely of her to go back.

They say that fights only make a relationship stronger, and I find that to be true in most cases. These fights, arguements, they allow you to see the worst of each other, and still embrace that side of theirs too, understand it and work on it together. My parents, actually, are the live version of Sai and Virat to me, where my mother is headstrong, confrontational and never backs down, while my father is calm, composed and rational. But, it is unbearable when my father loses it. I've witnessed some of their worst arguments, terrible fights and neverending silences between them (doesn't last for more than a few hours though😆), but it has only made them stronger, and more understanding of each other. And at the end of all their fights, the one thing we can see that they just can't live without each other. And even when I've tried intervening or asking one of them to calm down, they never let me. They always tell me to stay out of it and never compromise on one another (I want a relationship like theirs☺️). Looks like I've gotten carried away.

But yeah, come back to Sai and Virat. Neither of them are perfect, nor is their relationship. Virat has compromised on Sai a lot when he's mad at her, allowing anyone to fire at her, when she's expected to hold back her guns. But if the husband is repentant of his actions and is pleading for a second chance, I see nothing wrong in Sai giving it to him. At the end of the day, if the two people involved think that it is worth giving a chance, it is. It doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks. At the end of the day, it is about being honest with each other, building each other's trust, growing together and not compromise on each other no matter what.

Okay, I honestly don't know whether I've actually added something to your viewpoint or if I've just written some random BS that my fingers have typed on their own. I just started typing on your post, and words automatically flowed. IDK if its a good thing or not.😆

Anyway,

Lots and lots of love meri Behna!

Niya🤗