The Power of Emotions

Disclaimer- This post is not meant to support any character or demean any character. It is solely for the purpose of understanding behaviour psychologically and philosophically. Please don't make this thread a war zone.

I respect everyone's opinions and understand where you come from....

P.S.- Sorry in advance for the long post

Hello,

Okay, so the whole day I spent thinking about what is happening.. I was silently going through all the posts (and then fell asleep, typical me) but anyway, I was thinking of writing this post on how anger overrides a person's ability to rationally think and the mistakes we make in anger.. I also wanted to write about how some people can forgive the mistakes a person has made and accept them back....

Anger and its ability to override rational thinking-

Emotions are a very complex topic, to be honest. Our brain is a marvelous organ capable of many constructive and destructive activities.......

Anger is surely one of them. Anger harms our ability to think straight and it is not just a high ride of emotions but the changes made inside the functioning of the brain.

The cerebral cortex is the thinking part where judgment and logic reside.

The emotional center of the brain is the limbic system, it is located lower in the brain and is considered to be primitive (not developed completely)

When an individual is experiencing anger or fear they are not using their thinking part but the limbic part of the brain

Within the limbic system, we have a small structure called the amygdala, a storehouse for our emotional memories. Basically what causes our fight or flight reaction mode.

So when we get information from outside, it is passed through this little storehouse of memories which decides where to send the data, to the limbic system or the cerebral cortex. If the incoming data triggers enough of an emotional charge then the powerhouse of emotions can override the cortex and send this data to the limbic system, which is our lower part of the brain causing a reaction. so during this event, the amygdala goes into action without much regard for the consequences (since this part is not involved in thinking, judging, or evaluating) this is known as an amygdala hijack.

When the amygdala is hijacked, a flood of hormones is released that cause physical and emotional alarm. This impact can last from several minutes during which the [erson is usually out of control and may say or do things they will regret later when the thinking part of the brain regains its senses. Further, a longer-lasting hormone is released and its impact can last for several hours to several days.

Now, external factors such as the influence of others also affect our ability to think rationally. this is more true when our thinking part of the brain is asleep while our fight or flight mode reaction is stepping in. In that moment of heat, it is usually easy to influence someone against something or someone. That is also a power of hatred. When you despise or hate someone, you try your level best to get everyone against them. Now those individuals riding high on these emotions and powerful feelings barring the logical and thinking abilities are easily influences. This is because a person sees no logic in anger.

Anger also stems from fear, anxiety, shame, hopelessness, and powerlessness. It goes down to childlike behavior when we are not capable of making any sound decisions. Many times our rational and emotional sides of the brain are at war. We are stuck in the tug of war between logic and emotions. This results in impaired judgment. It also stems from our childhood experiences and values as well as what e have noticed our elders do which influences us. We might not be consciously aware of these feelings but subconsciously and unconsciously they do co-exist, which results in a tussle of emotions.

So yes, when a person is angry they do not see logic or any points put forth by those who are speaking logically and it is further instigated when someone else is trying to influence your decision making impairing your judgment completely.

That is why we see so many mistakes made by individuals who would not make those mistakes but are also influenced by others. Studies show that if an individual is angry and if they see someone else angrier on the same topic their reaction becomes three times stronger than before. At this point, the person is riding high on emotions and has forgotten the ability to think straight.

The same holds true for Virat.. he is not thinking from a decision-making point but from his emotions instigated by others. That is why when people are trying to speak logically with him, he is shunning them as well.

Forgiveness

There is nothing wrong in forgiveness. It actually is a human trait of empathy. We are all humans after all. It is actually an exquisite trait.

Forgiving a person does not stem from your ability to be the bigger person, it is also from the ability to let of the situation and truly move on.

See sometimes forgiveness does not mean forgiving the individual but it means forgiving them for your peace of mind.

Every individual is different, there are people who forgive cheating spouses and rebuild a relationship and there are people who forgive crimes such as murder or rape. It honestly depends on the individual.

There is nothing wrong with forgiveness and going back to a cheating spouse if they have truly accepted their mistake. Of course, the relationship will not be the same as before, but if YOU want to work on it and if you feel there is a chance for it to get better then you have to question yourself whether you will be able to move on.

Now, trust is something that is gained. The decision to forgive and let go is what each individual has to go through.

Forgiveness certainly does not mean forgetting.

But if someone does decide to forgive, the time has to be given to them to ease back into and rebuild the trust shared.

By forgiving you are not excusing the behavior, you are not forgetting the behavior.

True, the relationship will never be the same again. These incidents will stay in our minds forever but to heal yourself is something forgiveness is.

This is always dependent on the individual so it cannot be decided.

Forgiving what Virat does is all up to Sai....... It is up to the writers to show a proper redemption and something which will make it feel realistic.

I might speak from a very spiritual belief, to be honest, I believe in Sai Baba and I actively read books about the higher being and becoming one with the higher power. I believe in karma and rebirth until we learn our lessons. Each birth consists of a lesson we choose for ourselves, to deal with that challenge is the goal of our birth. In one birth we may choose to overcome anger, so all our challenges are related to controlling our anger.

Lessons in life are repeated till we learn our lesson. A simple example- I would lose my temper extremely easily on small issues, and I would make the same mistakes again and again. So one day I decided to try a different strategy for that issue and guess what, it worked. My approach towards handling the situation was wrong and I was not learning the mistake rather was repeating it.

These are just my views! I don't want to hurt anybody nor do I want to criticize anyone for their views. This is what makes the human race beautiful, the ability to be individaulistic.

MUCH LOVE ❤️

Please don't turn this post into a war zone!

Sources-

https://lakesidelink.com/blog/lakeside/how-does-anger-happen-in-the-brain/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/overcoming-destructive-anger/201611/the-power-emotions-override-rational-thought

https://www.truthaboutdeception.com/recovery-and-repair/forgiveness.html

https://www.thehopeline.com/what-forgiveness-is-not-part-2/

tagging a few people who might be interested

sorry if i forgot someone

Thanks for tagging me.

I'm sorry. I am having stress and I'm trying to divert my attention by writing funny os and reading comments etc. I spent the entire day in India forums to lighten my mood. I won't be able to go through the entire post. As it is a very long post and a very complicated one at that. But I know you have worked hard on this one. And even if I do I won't be able to comprehend completely. So won't be able to share my views. Accept my apologies.

You know I relate to Sai more. Straightforward, was an impulsive (now less), a bit rude, like still I'm that bado se baat karne ki tameez nahi hai type girl. But two things I relate to Virat clearly, his unexpressiveness and anger issue. I can't express my love or even hate to someone, it's always difficult for me. People need to understand, read between lines to understand my words. For that reason, I don't have friends irl. It hurts but yes that's how I am. So I can understand Virat at that position.

Now coming on the anger management issue, I totally have a bad temper issue, even being a girl I'm almost treated like a boy in my house. And whenever I am angry I'm totally silent, dead silent because I knew if I open I'll burst upon badly. Even in online, I ignore many things because if I burst upon them, I'll be called toxic and I know this is my toxic trait. So I try to ignore that toxicity but I can't! At anger I always say worse things and then regret and repent very badly.

Same with Virat, his partriarchal or insecurities isn't the reason, the thoughts can be evolved and insecurity can be lessened but for that toxic trait is his zimmedari to tone that down. Because atlast his own relationship will be in danger due to this trait! Seriously he needs an anger management class because this will happen in future (not storyline but as a person), he'll be again angry will burst upon a wrong person and his relationship will be affected.

In forgiveness I'm unforgiving person and even if I forgive I don't forget

Awesome work siya , every single thing stated is so right , right now virats emotions have clouded his thinking ability and he is not looking at others POV what is ringing in his mind is sai didn't trust , may be she don't reciprocate same feelings , she break his trust let him down , and we know when it comes to sai how he behaves an extreme way , because as far as I see he placed her at a very high position in his life and all the mess is happening , and forgiveness and trust is something that should be regained by actions admitting once mistake then path of rectifying the same ,

I loved your post siya

You are really positivity ki ocean ❤️🤗

Your points are valid.

My problem is not Virats anger but how its been potrayed. Thats a result of blind copy pasting. I also feel the same way about Sai's wits/intelligence- shes supposed to be a topper, a medical student, idealistic but they made her very naive and stupid in this track. Bit thats for another post. But i feel like virat has been butchered a teeny bit more than Sai by makers. They always showed us that Virat was a guy who is wise/calm/mature. Whereas Sai was the short tempered , pampered almost "brat" who needs some tehraav in her life.

Virat was the guy who even with criminals has empathy and believes in letting law take the course, not getting physical/abusive even with criminals. He didnt hesitate to question his own guru who instilled these values in him when he felt kamal sir was wrong. He is the one who stands by Sai mainly because just like her aabaa he can see past her brashness/impulsiveness and knows that she has a 24K gold dil. And that her morals are in place. She has a convoluted way of doing things but her intentions arent wrong. Sai was shown hesitating to hide the truth from virat, her guilt/pain at hiding things from virat also came through but i dont see virat thus far atleast question why Sai did what she did. I was hoping in his drive to reach the wedding venue he would be shown asking- kyun Sai, tumne mujhse itni badi baat kyun chupayi.

I really hope he does think about "why" atleast sometime this week. why will the woman who is his gurus daughter- brought up with his values, the one whom he has identified as a really intelligent person, a person who doesn't hesitate to stand up for right things, but is known to be impulsive - if she has pulled an extreme stunt like this- why did she do so.

Even When they had a big fight about amey and how Sai handled the issue, he noticed that Sai hadnt eaten and told her to eat. That was the best part of that fight. Because despite the fight both Sairat cared about if the other had eaten. Even when aniket jealousy argument happened, we saw Sai get concerned about if he had eaten. Similarly when the hand holding/food denial happened virat had given kasam that he'd never deny her food again and the reason for that fight to end was when he confessed that he had also stayed hungry in his worry and because they fought...that immediately got Sai to drop her guard and forgive him. Those little things bring out their deep rooted care and concern for each other even when they fight.

Virat is the guy who is always respectful of elders even in his anger. He is the one who tells Sai ki badon ka lihaaz rakho. Whereas Sai is more of a "i dont care about age and status, joh galat hai voh galat hai"

Toh why are they now showing him as being so rude to aai/maushi. he literally asked maushi to get out. Thoda zyaada hogaya voh. It didnt go with his character sketch that they gave us. That is more Sai's personality- kyunki as an only child who didn't have to adjust in a joint family,it is Sai who doesn't really care about "norms" and "lihaaz" because she has never had to. Whereas virat since bachpan has learnt to choose his battles, let things go, play peacemaker.

I know they are trying to show that this instance has breached his tolerance threshold but even so he should stay true to his inner personality, right.

I really hope that they will at least show him feel upset/punish himself too, seeing Sai standing outside the house without food/water. They should have a scene where he goes to check on Sai from the balcony or atleast look at her photo and cry- something/anything that shows us he cares for her...Because if he truly loves her even in his gussa we should see his concern right...it is those little nuances that will make this fight between husband wife realistic.

We know that Sai values her self respect too much to let this go so easily but eventually if Virat is in trouble she will come running back because im reality we know she cares for him a lot, values everything he has done for her and in her heart the marriage is very real. Its not just a deal. And it is in adversity that you see the true colors of people. So Sai will not leave Virats side if he is sick/injured. Virat does matter more than her self respect if its a matter of his welfare/safety. But as soon as he is ok, her walls will go back up. If they copy KD, it'll be worth watching to see Sai battle her head and heart and eventually let her heart win and exert her haq on virat when he is injured.

Beautifully written❤️ And yes after all we are all humans, and as for Virat and Sai, I know we might not agree with their actions or reactions sometimes or we could even have mixed feelings about it, but I feel that’s the beauty of the story, moving past the mistakes and trying to become better in the future, it shows imperfections of the individuals and how they deal with life. And no matter how hard we try we can’t control our emotions, sometimes we’re so overwhelmed by one that we can’t see the others.

Originally posted by: Nja91

Your points are valid.

My problem is not Virats anger but how its been potrayed. Thats a result of blind copy pasting. I also feel the same way about Sai's wits/intelligence- shes supposed to be a topper, a medical student, idealistic but they made her very naive and stupid in this track. Bit thats for another post. But i feel like virat has been butchered a teeny bit more than Sai by makers. They always showed us that Virat was a guy who is wise/calm/mature. Whereas Sai was the short tempered , pampered almost "brat" who needs some tehraav in her life.

Virat was the guy who even with criminals has empathy and believes in letting law take the course, not getting physical/abusive even with criminals. He didnt hesitate to question his own guru who instilled these values in him when he felt kamal sir was wrong. He is the one who stands by Sai mainly because just like her aabaa he can see past her brashness/impulsiveness and knows that she has a 24K gold dil. And that her morals are in place. She has a convoluted way of doing things but her intentions arent wrong. Sai was shown hesitating to hide the truth from virat, her guilt/pain at hiding things from virat also came through but i dont see virat thus far atleast question why Sai did what she did. I was hoping in his drive to reach the wedding venue he would be shown asking- kyun Sai, tumne mujhse itni badi baat kyun chupayi.

I really hope he does think about "why" atleast sometime this week. why will the woman who is his gurus daughter- brought up with his values, the one whom he has identified as a really intelligent person, a person who doesn't hesitate to stand up for right things, but is known to be impulsive - if she has pulled an extreme stunt like this- why did she do so.

Even When they had a big fight about amey and how Sai handled the issue, he noticed that Sai hadnt eaten and told her to eat. That was the best part of that fight. Because despite the fight both Sairat cared about if the other had eaten. Even when aniket jealousy argument happened, we saw Sai get concerned about if he had eaten. Similarly when the hand holding/food denial happened virat had given kasam that he'd never deny her food again and the reason for that fight to end was when he confessed that he had also stayed hungry in his worry and because they fought...that immediately got Sai to drop her guard and forgive him. Those little things bring out their deep rooted care and concern for each other even when they fight.

Virat is the guy who is always respectful of elders even in his anger. He is the one who tells Sai ki badon ka lihaaz rakho. Whereas Sai is more of a "i dont care about age and status, joh galat hai voh galat hai"

Toh why are they now showing him as being so rude to aai/maushi. he literally asked maushi to get out. Thoda zyaada hogaya voh. It didnt go with his character sketch that they gave us. That is more Sai's personality- kyunki as an only child who didn't have to adjust in a joint family,it is Sai who doesn't really care about "norms" and "lihaaz" because she has never had to. Whereas virat since bachpan has learnt to choose his battles, let things go, play peacemaker.

I know they are trying to show that this instance has breached his tolerance threshold but even so he should stay true to his inner personality, right.

I really hope that they will at least show him feel upset/punish himself too, seeing Sai standing outside the house without food/water. They should have a scene where he goes to check on Sai from the balcony or atleast look at her photo and cry- something/anything that shows us he cares for her...Because if he truly loves her even in his gussa we should see his concern right...it is those little nuances that will make this fight between husband wife realistic.

We know that Sai values her self respect too much to let this go so easily but eventually if Virat is in trouble she will come running back because im reality we know she cares for him a lot, values everything he has done for her and in her heart the marriage is very real. Its not just a deal. And it is in adversity that you see the true colors of people. So Sai will not leave Virats side if he is sick/injured. Virat does matter more than her self respect if its a matter of his welfare/safety. But as soon as he is ok, her walls will go back up. If they copy KD, it'll be worth watching to see Sai battle her head and heart and eventually let her heart win and exert her haq on virat when he is injured.

agreed neerja... I love the way you put it... its the way of handling the character and not butchering it...

Very nice post about anger and forgiveness..

Frankly first para padke aise laga that I am reading kuch science chapter with all brain parts and stuff... But you are right, person gets blinded when is anger... Now virat is anger + hurt which made things worst.... He do a lot worst today, but when he is out of it, how he reacts will define him as a person... I don't believe in anger brings the real you, because that's only a part of you.... Doing wrong everything pre-planned to target someone or hurting someone is wrong like what Kaku and papi is doing... But what virat is doing is pure out of anger which he is doing without giving in a thought , in order words as you mentioned getting into others words... Which is wrong but that doesn't defines his true self....

I really loved the way you elaborated the forgiveness thing... Yes forgiving makes person bigger... And it's true, if the person cheated in anyway ( either emotionally or physically), if he/she actually realizes their mistake and with genuine love and effort try to win you again, it might take time but the person will get forgiven... Here both Sai and virat are at fault ( let's ignore who is more at fault)... But sai cheated him emotionally by not believing him and virat cheated her by hurting her self-respect... So it's going to be long way... As I mentioned in laksh post if I am in sai place, I would think 100 times to come back because my self respect is in the question but finally I might come back by only for love and at the same I would accept my mistakes too... So I really hope virat and sai can forgive eachother for their mistakes and grow in relationship.... There is a saying broken glass can't get normal again similar to relationship but we can make new Master diy piece from broken glass leaving unnecessary things which might hurt us behind, same way once they got together they can make wonders by developing more truth an respect for eachother with love... And grow as a bigger person