Thinking of Her
Shaurya Sabherwal was good at many things but getting Miss Anokhi Bhalla out of his head was not one of them. From the moment they met, she had been a nuisance to his brain, a voice that that was always floating around his mind, telling him all the things that he tried all his life never to hear.
Shaurya replayed the conversation (argument, because they always ended up arguing) they had earlier. It was still running through his head, like a reel on loop. She asked him to join the after-hours program he offers to students who he believes excels far beyond the reaches of that a 1-hour class a day can provide. Naturally, he refused her. Of course, she did not take this very well and somehow used the fact that this program only has male students in it as way to paint him as some kind of misogynistic pig.
“Women should have the same opportunities that men have in life, Sir. Why should they just sit on the sidelines and watch as men dominate this world. Could you imagine how many genius minds are being held back, just because that mind is in the body of a woman?” She had said this with a fierce determination on her face, imploring him to accept her, to teach her. Shaurya wanted to tell her that he knew. Of course, he knew how intelligent she was, her marks and intellect speak for themselves. It wasn’t as if Shaurya thought women weren’t capable. On the contrary, he held the opposite sex in high regard and knows that a woman can be anything, do anything she wants. And he had no problem with women aspiring to have careers. He just did not want the women in his life to have them.
A woman’s ambition..., her need to have a career and be independent took away his right to have a mother. The same woman who was supposed be there for him no matter what, the woman who was supposed to love him unconditionally, left him for a career. How was he supposed to live with that? Why couldn’t Anok…Miss Bhalla see that he didn’t have a problem with a woman who wanted a career, he just didn’t want or need that kind of woman in his life.
Not that he wanted Anok… Miss Bhalla in his life.
“So, what’s the problem with putting her in your class then,” Shaurya asked himself in his head. Choosing to ignore that thought, he answered her.
“Listen Miss Bhalla. What I think or do shouldn’t make any difference to you. You’re here to study right? Then stay within your limits and study. You have joined my college against my wishes, but I can still dictate who I want to mentor or not!” he exclaimed, not realizing he was getting closer to her as he was saying all this.
“But Sir, it does affect me! I don’t want a teacher who is constantly rooting against me. I need a teacher who knows I’m capable, who is willing to teach me and believes that I can achieve what I set out to do, despite the fact that I am a girl!”
She’s leaning closer to him too, and Shaurya definitely notices now, though he makes no effort to move away.
“Miss Bhalla, you have several other teachers here, go bother one of them to ‘support’ you in your efforts.”
It was a weird sensation that built up in his chest when he said that; the thought of her seeking help and advice from other professors caused an unpleasant stir. Kind of like the ones he got when that idiot ACP Ahir came running towards like he was her own personal savior. He pushed that thought aside as she continued to argue back.
“Oh please, everybody here knows that you are the top professor here sir. If you can mentor the likes of AA, why not me? I am willing to put in the extra hours after the work in the canteen. Please sir, I need to make sure I get top marks! I have to make sure I get my Baabli Di out-“
Here she cuts herself off and Shaurya knows she hadn’t meant to let that much slip. He knew that she was no longer staying with her sister and idiot brother-in-law. He was staying with that Aastha Sabherwal but he never got the full details of why she left that house. Of course, he was smart enough to know that her sister was in an abusive relationship. If Shaurya was less logical he would go and put that imbecile in his place himself. But he wasn’t in the habit of getting involved in other people’s personal matters, unlike someone else he knew.
“Look Anokhi… I don’t what’s going on in your personal life. But I am unable to add a student into my after-school program at this moment. Maybe if a spot opens up and you show you are capable, I will reconsider. But for now, please, just leave me alone.” Shaurya tells her, this time he couldn’t ignore how close they were. Everything about her presence before him heightened his sense and made him acutely aware of each centimeter separating them.
Her eyes, which he’s always known to betray every emotion running through her head, welled up with tears that she was determined not to let fall, at least not in front of him. He felt a pang of guilt course through and once again.
With a subtle shake of her head in disappoint, she backed away from him. Shaurya felt a loss of warmth he couldn’t explain and watched her walk away.
Coming back to the present, Shaurya frowns and prepares for his next class all the while wondering why he couldn’t just give in to her, just this once. Maybe if he had, instead of thinking about her frowning face, he could think about her smile.
Hope you guys enjoyed this, just a little something I wrote up! Shakhi has me so in love with them lol
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