Good afternoon Sisterhood!🌼🌺🌼🌺
Today's episode hit me very close to the heart. As many of you would know by now that I often meet couples, who find themselves in the middle of a marital discord or at crossroads with family relationships, on a regular basis. Today's episode brought back flashes and images of so many hundreds of people who I have met at least in the last decade...
The one question that they commonly want an answer for is: Who should come first in a man's life? Family or spouse? Lakhs of couples undergo a hard time trying to find balance between family and their personal space. In normal circumstances, love is the bone of contention between parents and 'spouse' -- there is an unsaid competition about who can 'prove' that they love the man/woman more than. And, it is not true that it is only the husband's family that feels this envy for his wife. In countless cases, controlling or helicopter parents of women also play a spoilsport in what would otherwise be a wholesome union of two people. But yes, the numbers tilt more towards the husband's families wanting control on the couple's life.
But in the case of Sai and Virat, it is not the "love" but the cinematic depiction of the "power struggle" within the family dynamics that is really causing the issue. Virat is actually lucky that he is not torn between mother and wife-- because that is the most difficult situation for a man. But in a joint family set up, going against a bunch of people who you call your own can, of course, be a difficult decision to make.
So in family vs wife, who should the man choose. I had initiated a similar discussion a few weeks ago when we saw a precap of Virat screaming at Sai and siding with the family about what a difficult situation a man finds himself in when he has to referee a match where the each of the two ends of his heart are attached -- to the family and also the wife. It is such a common situation where a man either ignores a lot of the quarrels or maintains a neutral stand -- which is the easiest but nor without pressure. And sometimes, he takes turns to side with either of the two to balance his support based on the subject of the argument or even tries to play a mediator. We have seen Virat do all of the above.
But then, there comes a time, in almost all marriages involving conflict between family and spouse, where the referee will finally decide to take a side because the line between right and wrong clearly becomes visible -- and that is when it is easier to communicate to both the warring sides the reason behind the decision to stand in support of one.
His "Main bhi Sai ke saath ghar chhodh kar jaunga" is evident progress that Virat has made in his most natural and organic way. "What you do unto her, you do to me" - that's a feeling that comes from 'oneness'. There is no denying that it always existed between them. A lot of the times that Virat actually got flustered with Sai's behaviour in the past was because he knew that the entire clan would gang up on her and blame her for things she is not responsible -- it has always been a personal thing for him. But now, the progression is to be able to verbalise it to the family without worrying about the reactions --
"Sai aapki eklauti bahu hai... agar aap usse ghar se jaane ko kahenge, toh aapka eklauata beta bhi jayega..."
The use of the 'zimmedari' word today was not in the same tone or context as it has been for all these days -- today it meant the responsibility a husband has towards his wife. "Maine Sai se shaadi ki hai... wo meri zimmedari hai"... The clan construed it as the "zimmedari" he took out of his majboori due to the vaada but then, their doubts ought to have been cleared when Virat firmly held Sai's hand in his. It had to be one of the three moments of the day.
Sai's look in that moment -- of disbelief, surprise, gratitude, pride, respect, sudden acknowledgment of belonging and the 'maayne', and of course the 'love' that he had told her exists between two individuals in some form... and yet, helplessness. Did she estimate that his "bohat maayne rakhti ho" has reached this level of belonging to one another? It was a moment that a 'wife' will treasure in her memory and knows that she does not need to feel 'emptiness' within. It was Virat's answer to her "main aaj bhi akeli hoon" ❤️... May be now, she should know she is not. She won't be 'alone' even if apart.
That holding of hands is one of the most acceptable public gesture of intimacy between a husband and wife, And it was a tight grip without interlacing fingers --which is a sign of complete support, reassurance, closeness, warmth, trust, affection and also oneness of thought. In that moment, he not only communicated in the fewest words his stand to the family, but in his action -- he offered the reassurance to Sai of a deeper connection, understanding and definitely 'love'.
So often, couple who decide to separate because of resentful and rigid families, are blamed for abandoning parents or elders -- it is almost seen as 'immoral', 'ethically' wrong to choose the spouse. But the fact is that when two souls come together in a marriage, the spouse -- if a righteous person-- has to come first. Virat did a good job with stopping Sai from speaking further today that could have escalated matters-- right from his tone, to his choice of words and that reassuring touch on her shoulder, it was conveyed exactly the way it should be and accepted in the right spirit. Also conveyed a lot to the perpetrators of the tamasha.
Virat's verbal stand also comes from the realisation that being constantly crushed between family and Sai was turning him into a person he did not think he could be -- in trying to take the easier path of pressurising Sai to follow the line when possible, like he does. The entire public spat and the fear of almost having to lose her has definitely made him sit up and take notice.
The nature of their "deal marriage" and the visible formal relationship that the family has seen between them made them underestimate the bond that they share. Add to that, Virat's defensive "Wo akeli kahan jayegi" during the Alta sequence -- they thought he would have a similar response today or even acknowledge that the only solution to end the contention is to execute the family's "warning".
Ninad was left tongue-tied now -- the control he wants on his eklauta beta comes more from the feeling of ownership than any good intention. Everyone else was shocked and Ashwini was filled with pride-- wouldn't it hurt her if Virat was to leave with Sai? They would probably want to take her along too, but even if they wouldn't, she would be the one to understand and pray for their well being... Why would the Makad Sena have imagined that his response would be different from the response he gave them at the Alta face off? They are blissfully unaware that apart from realising the right from the wrong, Virat has begun to experience the emotional intimacy that Sai has offered him -- one of the most important sharing in between a couple. They have long moved on from the stage where they were attuning to each other. Now, there is not only attraction but also expectation, hope and trust that they are building and love - it is definitely seeping in without a word and hanging in between.
The entire body language of Sai and Virat gave away so much --paying no heed to whatever the others had to say (especially ved lagleli Vahini😣), standing up for one another, their eye contacts, leaning towards one another, walking close in matching steps (and because it is Chakram niwas, also the clothes😅), the touch on the arms, letting go of the clasp of their hands only to offer obeisance to the God -- the spark between them is so visible to the others. And today, it was also clearly visible to the two of them as well. The space is slowly being sealed -- and it will remained sealed even if they are not in close physical proximity to hold each other's hands.
The second moment was of course their interaction in the temple parking lot -- Virat's apology for the nasty taunt about the money. There was a moment of awkwardness and Sai did appear to be in two minds -- again, it gave the feels that a hesitant "Sai Joshi" would not have accepted the money but the 'wife' did -- she had just been assured that she was a 'wife'. It is good that the issue was vocally addressed. It wasn't something that should have been left unresolved. But Sai still needs to get her Aaba's money -- why can't she have it? It has been a long while since Kamal Joshi passed away.
Waise, Dr Sai Joshi's diagnosis of Dissociative identity disorder (DID) of Virat Chavan1 and 2 happened a tad bit late -- Mrs. Chavan doesn't know that her fandom here has already diagnosed her 'husband' with MPD -- there are four shades to him, she still only knows of two that directly affect her 😂😅😅
So, he asks, "Tumhe kaunsa Virat pasand hai?"
The fact that they have reached a level of comfort with 'flirting' is because of the emotional intimacy that they have built.. their bantering, teasing, being able to laugh at one another with prolonged eye contact or even brief glances are all building blocks to the rock solid foundation on which they must eventually stand.
But, her answer to his question is: "Koi nahi..."
Ab before Virat Chavan 3 (jealous, insecure, hangry wala🤦) could get offended and thoda sa rightfully so, the gaadi ka tyre went "phattt!" in standing position!? Of course, the gaadi had already spotted Pulkit Deshpande and knew that Sai needed the time to hear Madhuri addressing "Tai ke Pati" as "Bhau"... Warna kal ke scene me drama kaise hoga ? 😅
When will they start with this story, seriously. Pulkit's entry to this point has been such a drag... It actually felt like seven-eight months that the Chakram samay khatola is going back and forth with... So, finally, Sai has prepared to invite Pulkit to the mansion and Virat will be unaware? Right now, they are in their "rosy time" and he is open to understanding her but would it harm if she takes Virat into confidence in advance, at least in a matter that concerns a grave secret that the family has been keeping?
I will bring the "bharosa" question here: The feeling has to be mutual. If Virat must trust Sai's 'intention' in doing 'an action' that is not discussed openly, then it is also essential for Sai to trust Virat's reaction when he's openly seeking the information and willing to lend her an ear. At least from the experience of Shivani Bua's case, Sai must know that Virat will not side with the "wrong" if she can convince him with facts.
It is also clear to Virat that Sai's questions about his past with Patralekha and the constant angst that Patralekha shows in the form of contempt for his 'wife' are not unfounded. He hasn't addressed it verbally between Sai and him, but he did address it to Patralekha -- hoping that it would automatically solve the problem as Mallika-e-Maturity would step back and assess her actions😒.
But, it is evident that she cannot -- she is not the 'vahini'. It was a telling sign that Virat chose to address his family's elders and not pander to Mrs. MIA despite her constant effort to shift the focus on her.
It was hilarious that when no one-- no one -- had their attention on her, Delusional Devi goes "Isiliye maine kaha Badi Mami, aap mujhe jaane dijiye.😸🥴🤦" I watched that scene five times to continue the morning laughter. I mean, derilious mania has no limits😅, we know but her hallucinations are never ending. Right from her "kal raat bhi jab main tumhare kamre mein aayi thi tab isne mujhse aisi hi bakwaas ki thi' (priceless expressions from Sai and Virat at that point😂) to her realisation that the entire conversation had shifted to Sai and Virat's pati patni status and everyone needed to be reminded that 'she' was the victim -- this woman is a neuropsychiatric case🥴.
Three whistles to 'bina fees ka vakeel' for letting the blind Makad Sena know that he has "Nazarein jisse sahi aur galat ka farak dekh sakta hoon"..😗😗😗
Mohit has found his voice and it is true that once a person takes a stand for the right because, he seldom wavers from the ideals. It does make one wonder that, perhaps, if Mohit had found a 'righteous' person to put up a fight for, he would have done it a lot earlier. Why is kindness contagious? Because when someone does something kind for you, it infects you and you want to pay it forward and also back to the person who passed it on to you first --setting a positive chain of reactions. And Mohit's voice is not a voice of 'blind support' but from his conscience that had long been oppression.
The most beautiful moment of the day❤️❤️:
The scene where Patralekha begins to walk away and Sai stops her from leaving -- there was something about that frame that was so beautiful -- a resentful Patralekha in the foreground, Sai trying to reason with her and Virat and Mohit in the background on either side of Sai. Eventually, after the roller coaster ride, that is how the picture will look like as more people who hear the voice of their consciences stand together. I feel sorry about being illiterate in the subject or I would have posted that picture. It is stuck in my mind. Wish someone can post.
*****
Having said all of the above, I must confess that, today, for the first time, I felt disappointed about knowing the story ahead. It did dent in the charm of the entire moment because of the awareness of what is going to come and the possibility that in the moment of loss of control/manipulation, the genuine words felt and spoken will be overpowered by resentment, mistrust and humiliation again. It is not untrue when people say that you can only consume a story being told like one meal at a time... too many meals mixed on one platter is a disaster for the flavours that it is trying to serve in that moment.
What is life, if the moments are not tasted well enough to experience the richness they add to our everydays... We all want a promise for "forever", but in fact, forever is only made of a million little 'nows and this'...
Half a day has gone by... But what day is it depends on how dark is the ink of your pen that you have used to write across your heart that "it is your day"!!
May you make the most of what is yet to unfold ahead, right now. Keep for company your favourite cuppas --☕☕☕☕🍵🍵🍵
and pass on what you can -- 🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️❤️🌻🌻🌻
Manapurvak Aabhaar 🙏🙏🙏for all the love that you all pass on, everyday. It's even better than the show, sach mein🌷🌷!
Love you,
❤️J
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