Good morning sisterhood!! 🌄🌺🌻
It's a new start to the week and thank God for the way it has started. What a mind-blowing scene that was between "ek doosre Ka accha chahne wale' Pati Patni. The pointed questions and the raw feelings Sai expressed today are much needed for the progress of the relationship, one way or the other. Loved the episode so much that I was almost surprised sad that it ended 😒
The scene beautifully brought out the two "opposites" of Sai and Virat. The word "opposites" was a trigger for Chavan saheb because in his mind, "how can you say I am not on you side?" But the fact is that he has been in the opposite side more than often by admonishing Sai for her "badtameezi" even where it was not required. Her feeling, thus, is far from being baseless. He, on the other hand, wants her to read his feelings for her through his actions -- which are, honestly, confusing at times for her. His "insaan ko padhna" nahi aata was his hurt from a dashed expectation that Sai has understood his unspoken words.
And so, her absolutely rightfully spoken words came as a jolt. Now this is actually Virat's problem: He feels people around him should be able to read him and gauge his feelings without him having to articulate it ever. It is fine in normal circumstances because, yes, actions speak louder than words. But he has conveniently forgotten the fact that he has placed an embargo in the relationship with Sai, which she cannot set aside unless he verbalised the changed condition. Because she obviously also sees his actions in regard to his 'pyarosti' from the glasses that he himself has given her.
Sai and Virat are actually on the opposite side in the way they deal with situations. She wasn't wrong -- it is true that they end up in an argument where they don't expect one because when it comes to seeing the point between them, they are on two different planes. Sai takes the route of confrontations to find her answers and resolutions to things bothering her while Virat is non-confrontational. Let's not call his outbursts in the state of jealousy 'confrontation' because it wasn't. It was a consequence of avoiding confrontation that he ultimately had a pressure point of explosion. And what an irony that the very reason why he exploded was the insecurity that Sai herself voiced today: "Do I belong to you?" For Virat the question is: "Don't I belong to you?" Isn't it essentially the same question? Yes or no?
Sai does not know if she should feel that she "belongs" to him. Yes, there is a definite unspoken belonging they share. But it is also true that a spouse, even in normal marriages, needs to hear words of reassurance from time to time... Yahan toh, navra baiko are yet to decide who will break the embargo first. And Virat, he has removed the embargo -- yes, he has and he's hurting that she cannot see it. But, he will continue to skip the most opportune moments to say it aloud and make her see it. Instead, add to his silence where he needs to speak the words "gurur, badtameezi, chillana" -- sometimes just used to digress from an argument where there is no better point to make. Now, they are her trigger points, just like any mention of the deal or 'pyarosti' is for him.
Today his use of her 'badtameezi' weakness was rather misplaced. It set her off and made her connect it to his silence on matters related to his 'true love' and she couldn't stop herself from bursting out about the one thing that has been hurting her: the absent 'husband'. Doesn't she wish to have the expectations from him that she has been told cannot? Of course, she does. But can she say it to his in as many words? She doesn't know yet and he is waiting to hear those words from her.
His "Do dhai kitaabein padhne se nahi aati... Insaan ki samajh Nahi hai..." and "Tumne Apne chaaron aur ek deewar khadi ki hai Jo tumhara Accha chahne wale par Nahi Kar paayenge, tum akeli reh jaogi" was actually an irony because it is applicable to him in as much weight as to her -- can he read the anguish she feels as a "wife" that is so visible on her face? Does he even see the wall he has built in between them and why she raises her walls up? How does he want her to break her walls when she's unable to see him breaking the one he placed between them?
My heart went out to Sai when she said, "Main toh aaj bhi akeli hi hoon"... He still didn't get the context to what she is speaking.
On Saturday, someone mentioned how PP is using her "loneliness" to get sympathy. But it is true for any person -- be it Sai, Virat or PP -- the loneliness that they feel is the one that can only be filled by a spouse. In PP's case, the spouse is unavailable but for Sai and Virat, they are lonely despite being together. Nothing can be sadder than that -- Saath hokar tanha... Leave aside the moments when they are happy and in their banter - it is still not the togetherness that they actually need to experience together. It is a fact that they are both drawn to each other. They feel equally misunderstood and unwanted thanks to their excellent skills at diverting attention from what needs to be spoken. And thus, the result of the unfulfilled desire is their anger in turns.
This was a much needed confrontation -- it was long overdue and thankfully, spashthly served by Sai after the unnecessary reference to "badtameezi chillana" trigger today. What is a wife who can't show her husband the mirror? And vice versa. What is a 'love' that cannot discount transgressions and moments where the person might appear most unworthy of being loved? And, what is a spousal relationship where the most uncomfortable questions cannot be asked?
So she asked the right questions without mincing words: "Why are you so upset if I say I did not want to join you on your pyarosti trip? Why do you point out to my badtameezi in such a partisan manner when you know that it is your pyarosti insulting me? Why is it so hurting if I mention the deal word? Who has given you the right to question my education and intelligence? Why did you ask me to not have spousal 'ummeed' from you if you're not committed to someone else? Isn't that someone else this very woman who has the license to walk into my personal space, make contemptuous faces at me, call me names for being in the same room as you and walk away without being chastised? Isn't she the one to whom your commitment is bigger than it is to me?"
Of course, the most brilliant of all - "Did a single elder of the family object to her demand of wanting to go alone with you the way they condemned my accompanying you as your 'wife'? Why are you the candy being handed out to a toddler whose toy has gone missing and may not be found?"
And the golden question: "Why didn't you tell my father that you can't take up the zimmedari because you're already committed to someone? Why did you say a hurried, half-hearted yes?"
Now, the questions have no answers actually and Virat's silence is understandable because they have come as an unexpected bolt. Of course, to the last question we will say he didn't think of marrying her when he promised Kamal Joshi that he would 'khayal rakhunga' of his daughter but then he did always think Kamal Joshi had bestowed some kind of right on him over Sai -- his instant yes to the promise was from that subconscious feeling of "responsibility and right" he felt for her at that point already.
Today his response to her "Aapko kisne haq Diya" with "Tumhare Aaba ne" was misplaced for Sai because she was talking about it from only her anger about him questioning her intelligence but his response was to the larger 'haq' that he feels he has in her. I am not sure if we can call it entitlement here (which is a feeling he has as being the 'husband') but this 'haq' is the haq of belonging. Of belonging enough to question.
Sai won't know why he said "Tumhare Aaba ne". He wasn't answering her specific question but referring to his inexplicable connection with her since before their relationship even had a legal name. For some reason, the moment I heard that response, it reminded me of the lunch table scene from Gadchiroli where Kamal Joshi was unable to eat because he was worried for Sai being hungry in the safe house -- and Virat told him Sai was enjoying the poha, much to Kamal Joshi's surprise, "How did you know?" Response: "I just spoke to her" (fact: video called). Kamal Joshi: "She spoke to you?" Response: "Just a little... not much" (Fact: they spoke about 'duniya kho dena' and his anguish of 1.47 hours love lost)
But coming to her direct question about his feelings for the 1.47 Hours love story -- (now will we ever know how did she find out about the yoga love story?🙄 I am assuming that she heard PP saying, "ye wo Virat Nahi hai jisse main yoga camp me Mili thi" because the walls of their room are porous and sound going out is a regular complaint😏🤔😐)
Sai did not speak from jealousy but from the facts that are in front of her eyes. His silence in matters concerning PP's badtameezi cannot be ignored. It has reinforced Sai's belief that it is her 'husband' who has literally handed over the rights to his 'pyarosti' to insult her whenever she feels like venting out at Sai her frustration over his dhoka..why should she be at the receiving end. Yes Virat was surprised and almost wanted to say, "I spoke for you and told her off today" but no, it is a little and a little too late -- his dono ke haath me talwaar dialogue had undone his standing up to a big extent and Sai did catch on to that at the very moment -- when did she ask for the rights he said he cannot give her? When, before this, did she question his commitment to another woman? When did she speak in between them unless it was a direct attack at her spoken in a indirect speech?
In his anger, he ended up adding another brick to the wall by saying "Tum Hoti kaun ho..." and his silence at "Dil par haath rakhiye ki aap Pakhi Didi se pyaar Nahi karte.. She has the courage to openly show her emotions for you but what you're doing is like cheating her. Why can't you admit that it is she who you love and are committed to..." The suggestion reduced him to tears -- is it because he couldn't bear the burden of being unable to say what he wants to now tell Sai or was it because he suddenly relived the pain of the heartbreak with the reality check?!
The dialogues she spoke in between - "Aap izhaar Nahi Karte, Dil mein daba Kar rakhte hain... Agar aapko Lagta hai mujhe Bura lagega toh aisa Nahi hai" actually did fit well for the present state of his mind with her -- the only thing holding him back from telling her what he feels (not acknowledged as love yet) is because of his fear of rejection and of causing her the hurt of 'umeed rakhna' but then the umeed is already there... and he hurts her in other ways. So bol hi do na re Baba😐😐You might have failed to read it but the pyarosti has already done the deep damage on the relationship you want to build with your wife, Chavan Saheb. The more you delay clearing this misconception that she has about your pyarosti, the higher the walls will become... Don't seek that wall to be removed without an effort.
The fact is that spousal confrontation is needed to establish transparency in the relationship where there exists a conflict due to a mutual misunderstanding or simply miscommunication -- as in their case. Deliberately avoiding such a confrontation does nothing to resolve contention and bridge the distance between the spouses. The fact of the matter is that where there is so much unspoken, confrontation is necessary, and can actually enhance the quality of the relationship.
Sai's outburst should get Virat to recognise the problem between them, if he had forgotten and assumed that his caring gestures would be enough to scale the walls he can see around Sai. Now, he actually knows the reason for the frustration of both the women he thinks are at loggerheads with each other -- it is he.
Now Sai may come across as aggressive but she's actually only at an assertive person. Her assertiveness is often seen as her aggression, but it is actually her confidence in communicating what her mind has gauged by connection the facts presented to her.
While Sai will still continue to say that she is unaffected by his commitment to this woman because she has accepted the deal, he should be able to see it's far from the truth. Bappa kasam, when he began saying "tum kehti ho tum jhoot Nahi bolti par aaj...." I thought he was going to say, "I can see you are lying and it affects you because you are my wife." But then I realised that picture Ka climax toh aana baaki hai 😅
If Virat thinks Sai does not understand him, it's also true vice versa...does it not hurt to hurt him. It does. Did they read each other's eyes when they met in the bed after the screaming? What a beautiful moment that was -- I can't even tell how real. When spouses fight and turn their backs to each other in bed, taking turns to see if the other will speak first to break the silence and the disappointment when they don't but the resolve that "I'm not going to talk first" and the restlessness that follows for the entire time until you find the moment when you can break the silence -- which Virat thought he'd do with chai pe charcha. That smile on his face as if he knows he'd be able to resolve this... But ab chai li bhi toh Kaunsi 🙈
Wo chai jisse peekar log bhool jaate Hain Woh pehle kya peete thay. So both navra Baiko will drink extoxic tea and try to resolve the issue 🙊🙊 mujhe koi umeed nahi rakhna. Because, aata samajhle, this extoxic tea is the reason why Chavan Saheb has forgotten his vaada and deal both -- he actually has no memory of either of the two. Ab bas itna hi pata hai, "Dheere Dheere pyaar ko badhana hai, hadh se guzar jaana hai"
But Saibai is singing, "Tu pyaar hai Kisi aur Ka, tujhe chahti koi aur hai"
And we can all be singing: chehra kya dekhte ho, Dil me utar Kar Dekho na... Mausam pal mein badal jaayega, patthar Dil bhi pighal Jayega..😅
****
Now, Pulkit Deshpande is aware of how modern thinking family is this Chavan clan 😅😅 and Sai immediately catches the clue "oh so Pulkit sir also knows how obnoxious they are. Now this is enough proof that he's the one I am looking for" 😅😂😂 Chakram Makad Sena is so famous for being vile!
So, Sai has accepted the lunch invitation. For obvious reasons, she will not reveal anything to Virat -- also unsure if they get back to talking terms with the extoxic tea 😖 but Chavan saheb ke aansuon ki dhara toh aur behne wali hai 🥺 kyunki Sai ki 'zidd' todne Ka jigar nahi hai aapke paas, let's face it!
****
A moment of silence in solidarity with Samrat's photo. His legal wife who must sign his (pata Nahi kaunse) documents still dressed up for her broken honeymoon dreams and continuing to lick her wounds while the whole mansion has gone to sleep. Today, she didn't hear the sounds from her imaginary husband's bedroom where she was actually the centre of the conversation. Next morning, all that extra zeher and double dose of beizzati hormones have gone into the chai 😰. I hope Virat drops the cups by tripping on the stairs, please 🙄 that look when she saw Ashwini giving the last cup to him for the "second" person -- uff, aisa laga hajmola bina taste kiye halak me atak gaya ho 🙄😒 waise whose was that last cup? Kahin Didi Ka hi toh Nahi tha? Aisa hua toh phir toh Sai ko "meri haq ki chai cheen li" wala ilzaam bhi sehen Karna padega...and chai served by chaheeta IPS beta with his own hands in front of the entire Chakram gang?! Too much to handle...
****
Have you brewed the beverage your soul wants? Is it coffee ☕☕☕ tea 🍵🍵🍵 or the tricky terrain of honesty that can be achieved only when speaking spashthly -- it is often not easy to make choices in life but when faced with a conflict, our soul often directs us to pick battles. It is because the soul knows best who is the one worth fighting 💪 for...
This week marks the beginning of new life, new season -- the spring -- it will arrive and replace the grey with the green and all the lovely floral hues in between... take your pick and paint your surroundings with the colour that makes you the happiest and strongest in fighting the battle you must pick -- because some conflicts need to be started, questions need to be asked, silences need to be hung in between... In the end, it is important though to leave room to be able to find those answers that your soul is seeking...
With that, have and delightful day and a wonderful week! Kuch kehna hai toh kaho...
Aur mere hugs 🤗🤗🤗, pyaar ❤️❤️❤️ aur aabhar 🙏🙏🙏 ko sweekar Karo!
Aale,
❤️J
Hindi TV Shows
Advocate Anjali Awasthi
Cricket
