Don't u think Sai is actually very adamant? Reality check? - Page 7

Originally posted by: sammy17

It's already been said numerous times on this forum that sai should be more respectful with virat and try and understand the concern in his words, (although past few epis virat too has been wrong in his behaviour in parts with sai even when he can see that her behaviour is initiated by his family's abuse and humiliation and that virat is being very double standard in parts), but the people who in this thread who are criticising sai are repeatedly talking about sai's behaviour with the elders and saying how she should mind the way she behaves with elders, that's why in response to these critiques, those speaking in sai's favour are talking talking about how her behavior with the elders is justified.

@bold so true👏 most men are like that..

Originally posted by: ..Peppermint..

You mean woman should adjust to being called jungli, badtamiz, begairat, not worth her husband, ehsaan faramosh, to being tortured because she wants to study😲

I know marriage is all about adjustments, but hell this type of adjustment - no thank you.

Adjustments should be done to a healthy level not at the detriment of one's self-respect.

Exactly! Why are people who critiquing sai keep repeating that sai is the one who needs to adjust to them and saying a woman has to make adjustments in her in-laws and not even saying a single word about how in-laws should be mindful of how they behave with their bahus too? Umm sorry but a girl who leaves her everything and moves into a completely new setting, environment with completely new relationships is more deserving of her in-laws adjusting their behaviour for her. The expectations of adjustment and tameez go both ways, but what to be expected of the bahu, when the elders of in-laws refuse to be tameezdaar, understanding, respectful and a little adjusting. Don't the young learn from their elders? Yaha toh elders have one rule for themselves, which is that they can be as abusive as they want with everyone including the youngsters of the house, whilst another rule for the youngsters/ bahus that they have to tolerate the elders malicious attitude in name of respecting elders.

Wow this is such an interesting discussion.

I dont think anyone is wrong here, we all speak from what we see Sai go through and our personal experiences as well.

Sai is an 18 year old who has been through SO much. She's faced harrassment, the death of her world (her aba), the anticipation of her dreams coming true or now, etc. When she first appeared in her sasural, she was quite and timid yet spoke up when needed w/o yelling, however, as time passed by, they started to get cruel and cruel w her ..taking enjoyment from her pain. As an 18 yr old and as a human, you are bound to react after having to hear something everyday that gives you pain. She is not in the position to understand what Virat or anyone says. Shivani bua stood w her and gave her the gloves for her pain ...one can see she was staring at the gloves and told aai about it too and showed it to her well. As a result, she has a connection and attachment for shivani bua. she will save her from everything bc shivani bua is showing her love and care. Which any human needs esp someone who has been through so much. Because the gharwala yells at her so much and keeps taunting her, shes reacting like a child - speaking back in the same tone to get them to stop. What she doesn't realize is that this will not work, but how can she realize this? She hasn't been exposed to such understanding and realization. This is where Virat is wrong. Sai needs a mentor, a guide - not even him can help bc it's about his family so ofc she will think he is biased. This is WHY she doesn't listen to him. Had Sai had a mentor and experiences, she will learn herself. How matured were we when we were 18? heck, i was not matured. I have learned a lot after college and my experiences at work. I can now say at 29, im a different woman than at 18. If someone asked me to get married at 18, I def would have reacted just like Sai at any point if someone messed w me. I was the same way. I had zero skills on how to use tact. Experiences and life has taught me what Virat is trying to teach Sai now. It is important to speak up, it is, but there's away and if that way is w pyaar se, then use that first. Then if it gets to much, use your voice. But don't get into yeling mode the moment someone starts w you. What he doesnt realize is that she DOES do this and he enters the convo half way ...the entire house blames her and then taunts him as a result. He doesnt like the insults hurled at her so he thinks IF she stayed quiet then it would stop and she can focus on her studies and maybe him! Will that really stop the problem? NO!

She needs to speak up and he has said she can and should to but tareeka galat hain ...again, she's just 18. She will learn as she gets new experiences.. At 18, i was onl concerned w school and ghar ka kaam to help mom ..not using tact to tlk to people. I was taught to respect elders (which Sai does) but i never faced a family like the chavans ...if we ever did, im sure we either would have moved out or done exactly what she is doing ..reacting.

Virat is right and wrong here. She does need to calm down and always not be in the angry young woman mode but at the same time, "kuch zyada hi umeed karli hain sai se". He can't expect her to know and follow everything in a few months time. She will learn but give her space and love, then she will learn. Make her understand ina diff way w/o involving family. For once, dont ask her to adjust and maybe ask your family to understand and have a convo. He wants her to understand bc he knows he can only make her understand bc the elders wont change their ways..if they never have before, they wont now. How can Sai understand what took him years to learn as well? How can he compare her w others to make her understand? What is he expecting from an 18 yr to manage and handle everything? Did he do that when he was 18? Did he manage home and police duties...no he was studying. There are some major unrealistic expectations on his side w his vaada and then wanting Sai to also be a wife bc he wants a marital relationship. He is ready for it but she is focused on work and ghar.

There's so much going on in both of their connected world and individual world which makes it hard for us to blame only one person. Both are right in their perspective and also wrong when it comes to their methods of dealing w others. It's actually as simple as that.

Originally posted by: kashishrocks

Lol, they tell her jungli bcoz she is ever ready to fight. Imagine Patralekha who also speaks a lot but she knows how and where she has to speak so she is considered as 'matured' though her intentions are always bad. If Sai also remains calm why will they call her 'jungli'

Because they have never met or heard of a bahu who will talk back to her in-laws if the in-laws insult her dead father, abuse her when she is stood quietly at their doorsteps on arrival and mock and curse her. Umm it seems like we are watching two different shows else you would have remembered that sai was given jungli tag when she first started speaking up for herself after initially being quiet against kaku's behavour, and that first time she started speaking up, she wasn't even abrasive and shouty like she is right now. It was because kaku and gang were taken aback to hear of a bahu who can actually talk back if spoken to like shit for no fault other than not being their pasand ki bahu. 🥱

Originally posted by: ..Peppermint..

They called her jungli from the first day she arrived, because she is from a forestial area. That is negative stereotyping and should never be normalised.

Even if she is loud or whatever, grouping someone in a category is not done. It is never okay.

I was going to actually comment this just now that the reason they started calling her jungli was because of where she comes from as well as that they started calling her this only when she first started to speak up, back when she wasn't even shouting at them.

Originally posted by: sammy17

If a girl in real life spoke to her in-laws the way sai does when her in-laws are not out-rightly abusive like chavans and maybe they are the typical in-laws who simply just do the occasional taunting, then I would say that the girl is being very bad with her in-laws because majority of in-laws in real life can be tackled without having to argue with them at all, but with chavans, no matter how you talk to them or are not even talking to them, you will be abused, insulted and taunted nonetheless, so the only way to survive with your self-respect intact is by raising your voice at elders like these chavans.

Chavans are anything but normal.... They are running a circus instead of a household with kaku being the ringmaster.... Surviving in a zoo is easier than this place... No wonder devi tai lost her mental balance.

Originally posted by: kashishrocks

I guess its going to an other level. Today, Sai admitted herself that when they talk they only argue so its better not to talk. I was just giving an example of them as a couple. Sometimes even men are like that but here thats not the case. Also, one major point says that if the inlaws are expecting her to do some work of house, she should do bcoz even she is living in that house and eating. When all others are working its normal that the jealousy will rise if one is not doing any work. Viraat already told him that she can work how much she can, not more than that

It's actually funny thought that the family are claiming sai does no work...... lol it's still fresh in my mind when sai with so much love made them all a big breakfast, and not only did ninad make a face and refuse to eat the food she made, kaku decided to praise pakhi's bread and butter just to put sai down 🤣🤣🤣 Matlab kuch bhi.

You know guys I think here pakhi is wrong

Because of pakhi ka itna meetha aur banawati behavior k karan sai ko dikkat ho rhi h

Kaku jo itna bolti h sai ko wo sb pakhi k karan h

Pakhi is so cunning that no one is able to understand her moves against sai

Wo meetha bol bol kr kaku aur sb ko provoke krti against sai

No need of her to repeatedly remind sai that sshe is from big house and her so called sanska.

Originally posted by: kashishrocks

She will not become Ashwini 2 bcoz Viraat is not like his father. He doesnt insult people like his father. When ashwini wanted to study, his husband didnt support her. But Sai was able to study bcoz of Viraat. So no way he is like his father.

She will be ashwini 2.0 in chavans eyes even with virat's support. A husband alone cannot ensure a woman feels secure and respected in her household. The in-laws need to give respect and consideration too for their bahu in order for a bahu to have some respect.

Originally posted by: sammy17

She will be ashwini 2.0 in chavans eyes even with virat's support. A husband alone cannot ensure a woman feels secure and respected in her household. The in-laws need to give respect and consideration too for their bahu in order for a bahu to have some respect.

This is so true!!