*From & To Sathish* - Thread 4 - Page 132

Bruce, Bruce and Bruce lee. Brace yourselves for a lot of bruce's

Do they still teach that story in school?

That story of Robert the Bruce, king of scotland who took refuge in a cave. While there, he saw a spider trying to build a web and fail many a time and yet persevered and finally triumphed. This gave Bruce the will and determination to keep trying until he finally vanquished the English in the battle of Battle of Bannockburn in 1314.

I think i was in my third or fourth std when i read this story. But, just about that time and the years following that moment, the whole world was filled with another mantra, Bruce lee. Well, if there was anyone who God took away too early, Bruce lee would feature on top or in the top 10 in most of our sad lists that is titled " gone too soon."

Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

About this time, i began to read comics and although many liked Superman, my favourite was Bruce wayne aka Batman. There is one quote that remains etched in my memory and branded on my soul and they are spoken by bruces father after he helps little bruce who has fallen into a deep but dry well and consoles, comforts but also wills his son with these lines. “Why do we fall, Bruce ?

So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

Okay, forward to the late 80's when die-hard hero Bruce Willis yelled those memorable curse at the villains " Yippee-ki-yay, mot.....cker”. But, what use is a thought if it is not shared with others. So, remember the spider, be like water, rise and rise again and when the going gets tough, raise your middle finger to life and tough times and scream "Yippee-ki-yay, mot......er”.

Sometimes, that is all we can do or manage.

Advice. Opinions. Sharing thoughts that dangerously border on preaching and maybe even manipulating.

Everybody has an opinion, and rightfully so, for everybody is a survivor, a battle-scarred veteran in this role- playing game called life. And like famous Role-playing games that are made for Computers and X-boxes, our own lives designed by an unknown entity have many levels and also secret passwords and cheat codes.

I have to state here, right here and right now that my favourite Role-playing game for desktop PC is called Unreal. Go figure.

Well, life does feel unreal sometimes and sometimes all the time. Vanthutaaya Vanthutaan.

Internet and social Platforms have brought us all together and sometimes uncomfortably too near to each other and is now a potential hazard and a danger to our privacy, both mental and physical.

People Spent 85 Billion Hours In WhatsApp In The Past 3 Months.

85 billion hours is a lot of time. It's 3.5 billion days, or over nine million years -- 9,582,650 years, to be exact. And it's 11.425 hours for every human being on the planet.That's how long we've collectively spent in WhatsApp over the past three months.At least according to app analytics company Apptopia.

One goal drives us all towards social platforms and that is communication. The need to be heard and the need to be noticed and the need to share and compare notes on how we fare with this journey called life with other lives. At least this is my opinion and general in nature and of course, it is a given that there are many exceptions.

I have many a time stopped and stared at the blank, white note pad on my screen and paused and hovered over he key-board and thought, ' Vennuma, why, moodikittu summa irukalame?'

I am addicted, and I confess openly to the fact, that I am indeed addicted to the need of being heard and accepted at least by my friends, and peers. Peers not just by age but by their conduct and the way they carry themselves and also since we have shared many a cold beer.

That is why I limit my sharing and posting to a select group of friends who I know for sure won't beat me up or bash my head with a bat out of frustration.

Every day, and when it happens is not a given, but it happens and that is a sense of Deja vu. I have been feeling that for a few years now and I again confess that my attempts to understand and cope with it have been in vain and maybe even futile.

Sadly, this sense of Deja vu has a vague effect on me and that is to write, write and write daily for I fear that I may soon have to change my name from Satish to corkscrew, askew or worse mottakoo or in the words of my pal Shantaram " Kena Koo, Gammunu Keda. O..a, Vanthe, gammunu, nimmadiya vazhnthu poga vendiyathu thaane. Yen summa polambare.'

Good morning. I wish you a beautiful day.

Kutty satish, Petty satish and just like that a moment gone and gone forever

I remember still, for the memories of tantrums, anger and flinging things that are around me to all corners of my kutty world and ending up getting a thrashing. Kutty satish, growing up satish, and a still naive satish clueless to the world and how things operate in this world called life.

It is a scenario, a familiar one to some of you wherein you suddenly find yourself raging, raving and ranting like a lunatic and the fuse that lit that bomb inside you, was nothing at all but a petty matter that could have been resolved but could not for it happened at an ill-oppurtune moment.

A moment when you were not you and were unable to be you for the moment came on one of your bad days, dark days and just that day...

I often think about all those days when I was just petty satish when I could have been a better satish but ended up being a bitter satish.

Age, advancing middle-age more than anything brings less of hair, thinning hair and sometimes no hair. An inch or more of hair on my head and they begin to curl around on my head and so I keep it short and neat and which means a trim at the saloon every twelve or thirteen days.

It so happened that my shooting work kept me away from me visiting the saloon and so I found myself using, hair cream to placate and soothe the remaining locks of hair and comforting them into a calm solace.

The problems arise not when an actor is facing the camera but when the camera is placed behind your shoulder in a position called " Suggestion shot" in which the camera is aimed to capture the actor in front of you and who is acting his or her bit.

In the hurry burry scheme of things and with brylcreem in my hair, i forgot to comb the rear part of my head and spread the mayiru properly so as to cover the thinning spot and exactly the spot which was in the foreground of the camera.

Even though I am playing a father to three grown-up kids and with the eldest son about to get married, I saw later my own thinning hair and white of the scalp and well, I went Postal.

The makeup assistant should have caught it but didn't. The cameraman should have caught it, but didn't. The director seated before the large screen should have caught it, but didn't and yet I caught it and Petty satish came out and in force.

Not like before, but a spitting and petulant satish who stated clearly what was on his mind and for the remainder of the day shut himself out from outside stimuli and it was seen and felt clearly by everyone in the vicinity.

People stayed away, stayed a safe distance away and gave me a wide berth for I forgot the signals that I was beaming out and forgot that my bloody damned but hopelessly and naively expressive face was on Red mode.

It took me late into the evening to revert back to normal and green mode from my Red mode but the damage was done and it was clear to see even for petty me.

Between shots, I sat quietly and then with eyes wide open and lips set in an expression of " stay away" i stepped out of my skin and looked at myself.

Adult satish, battle-scarred satish but still that kutty and petty satish.

Not the one with warmth more in his eyes than his lips and definitely not the one with acceptance and light in his eyes but one with anger and with collateral damage around him.

I slipped back into my mortal god-given clothes and slowly shrugged my petulance away and whispered to the production boy, " One coffee please" and many head turned and looked in my direction and just like that the air eased and the atmosphere seemed more breathable and the cauldron of seething emotions settled down and soon was a smoking ember of a distant memory and emotion.

" Why do we fall?"

We fall, everyday in our eyes and most importantly in the eyes of all those we love and hold dear.

I fell and now I rose and said, ' Sorry, konjam bad moodla irunthen. Sorry.'

The assistant directors white teeth flashed like lightning on his dark face like the white of lightning in dark stormy skies and he said with a smile, ' Sir, unga shot ready."

I rose thinking to myself, ' mayiru ponna enna. Uyir, uyirgal, intha naal, intha nimisham thaan mukiyam. Adhuvum santhoshama, amaithiya vazhrathu thaan mukiyam.'

Enna, Naa solrathu kekutha. yellorukkum kekutha.

Good morning. I wish you a beautiful day.

அந்தக் காலத்தில் ஒரு கல்லூரிப் பேராசிரியை வானொலியில் பேசிக் கொண்டிருந்தார் .

பேசிக் கொண்டிருந்தார் என்று சொல்வதை விட ...

அடித்து துவைத்து கிழித்துக் கொண்டிருந்தார் என்றே சொல்லலாம் .

கடுமையாக அவர் அப்படி தாக்கிப் பேசிக் கொண்டிருந்தது – #கண்ணதாசனை ..!

ஆம் ... அடுக்கடுக்கான ஆதாரங்களோடு அந்தப் பெண் பேராசிரியர் வானொலியில் பேசிக் கொண்டிருந்தார் .

இதோ ..அது பற்றி அந்தப் பேராசிரியப் பெண்ணே சொன்னது :

"ஒரு முறை சென்னை வானொலியில் 'இலக்கியங்களும் திரைப்படப் பாடல்களும்' என்ற தலைப்பில் ஒரு உரை நிகழ்த்த என்னை அழைத்திருந்தார்கள்.

நான் உரை நிகழ்த்தியபோது , இலக்கியங்களில் சொல்லப்பட்ட பல விஷயங்களை கவிஞர் கண்ணதாசன் எப்படி தன் பாடல்களில் எடுத்துக் கையாண்டிருந்தார் என்பதைச் சொல்லி விளக்கி ,

கிட்டத்தட்ட கண்ணதாசன் பண்டைய இலக்கியங்களில் இருந்து நிறைய காப்பியடித்துள்ளார் என்கிற ரீதியில் என்னுடைய உரை நிகழ்த்தினேன்.

ஒலிப்பதிவு செய்யப்பட்டு இரண்டு நாள் கழித்து என்னுடைய உரை வானொலியில் ஒலிபரப்பானது.”

அவ்வளவுதான் ..!

அடுக்கடுக்காக போன் கால்கள் ..!

யார் யாரோ போன் செய்து பாராட்டினார்கள் ..!

“சபாஷ்.. இத்தனை காலம் இதை கண்ணதாசனே சொந்தமாக எழுதி இருக்கிறார் என நினைத்துக் கொண்டிருந்தோம்.

நீங்கள் எடுத்துச் சொன்ன பிறகுதான் ,

இலக்கியங்களில் இருந்து இதையெல்லாம் காப்பி அடித்திருக்கிறார் கண்ணதாசன் என்பது தெரிகிறது..

அற்புதமாக பேசினீர்கள்..!”

இந்த தினுசில் பலரது பாராட்டுக்களும் போன் கால்கள் மூலமாக வந்து குவிந்து கொண்டே இருக்க ,

உச்சி குளிர்ந்து போனது அந்தப் பெண்ணுக்கு ..!

மறுபடியும் ஒரு போன் கால் !

“இது யாருடைய பாராட்டோ ..?” என பரவசத்துடன் போனை எடுத்தார் அந்தப் பேராசிரியப் பெண்.

மறுமுனையில் ஒலித்த குரல் : "நான் கண்ணதாசன் பேசுகிறேன்.."

பதறிப் போனார் அந்தப் பெண் .

அவருக்கு கையும் ஓடவில்லை .. காலும் ஓடவில்லை..!

உலர்ந்து போன உதடுகள் ஒட்டிக் கொள்ள ,

போனைப் பிடித்திருந்த கை நடு நடுங்க “சொல்லுங்க சார் ..”

தொடர்ந்து #கண்ணதாசன் :

"சற்றுமுன்னர் வானொலியில் உங்களின் உரை கேட்டேன் மிக அருமையாக பேசியிருந்தீர்கள்.

ஒரு விஷயத்தை உங்களுக்கு தெளிவு படுத்த விரும்புகிறேன்.

பண்டைய இலக்கியங்களிலும் இதிகாசங்களிலும் சொல்லப்பட்டிருக்கும் பல நல்ல விஷயங்கள் ,

உங்களைப்போன்ற பேராசிரியர்கள், பண்டிதர்கள் மட்டத்தோடு நின்று விடுகின்றன.

ஆனால் திரைப்படப் பாடல்கள் என்பது நாட்டின் கடைக்கோடியில் குக்கிராமத்தில் ,

பள்ளிக்கூடமே போகாத , மாடு மேய்க்கும் சிறுவன் வரை சென்றடையக்கூடிய வலிமை பெற்றது.

அதனால் இலக்கியங்களில் சொல்லப்பட்ட பல நல்ல விஷயங்கள் அவர்களையும் சென்று சேர வேண்டும் என்று அவற்றை எளிமைப்படுத்தி தருகிறேன்.

உதாரணமாக , திருமணங்களில் ஓதப்படும் சமஸ்கிருத வேத மந்திரங்களில் ,

கணவன் மனைவிக்கிடையேயான மன ஒற்றுமையை எடுத்துக்காட்ட

'நான் மனமாக இருந்து நினைப்பேன்... நீ வாக்காக இருந்து பேசு'

என்று ஒரு வரி வரும். அது நம்மில் எத்தனை பேருக்கு தெரியும்..?

ஆனால் அதையே நான்

"நான் பேச நினைப்பதெல்லாம் நீ பேச வேண்டும்"

என்று எழுதியபோது பெரும்பாலான மக்களை சென்று அடைந்தது.

இது தவறு என்று சொல்கிறீர்களா?"

ஆல் இந்தியா ரேடியோவில் ஆரவாரமாக பேசிய அந்தப் பெண் ,

இப்போது அடுத்த முனையில் பேசிக் கொண்டிருந்த கண்ணதாசனுக்கு பதில் சொல்ல முடியாமல் தடுமாறினார் : “மன்னித்துக் கொள்ளுங்கள் சார் ..”

இந்த நிகழ்வை பத்திரிகைகளில் பகிர்ந்து கொண்ட அந்த பேராசிரிய பெண் சொன்ன முத்தாய்ப்பு வார்த்தை :

“கண்ணதாசன் சொன்னதைக் கேட்டது முதல் அவர் மேல் எனக்கிருந்த மதிப்பு பல மடங்கு அதிகரித்து விட்டது".

இந்தப் பேராசிரியைக்கு கண்ணதாசன் மீது மதிப்பு அதிகரிக்க காரணம் ...

அவர் பேச்சில் இருந்த எளிமை ...உண்மை..!

அடுத்த காரணம் ..

திரை உலகின் உச்சத்தில் இருந்த காலத்திலும் ,

இந்தப் பெண்ணுக்கு அவரே போன் செய்து , தன் தரப்பு நிலையை விளக்கிச் சொன்ன பண்பு.. பணிவு..!

ஆம் ..!

“உண்மையைச் சொல்லி நன்மையைச் செய்தால்

உலகம் உன்னிடம் மயங்கும்.

நிலை உயரும் போது பணிவு கொண்டால்

உயிர்கள் உன்னை வணங்கும்”

Vaanathai Pola 239

Memories of painful incidents are our own personal crosses that many of us carry all through our lives. If we had the sight, the gift of God's eyes, then we might be able to see others around us who smile and carry on living boldly while in reality their spirits are bent over with the weight of their personal crosses to which they are crucified.

Memories are our own personal birdcages from which we can never free ourselves from since the cages are shut and even if they happen to open up accidentally, our broken wings don't allow us to fly away and make our escape.

Memories are our personal haunted houses and we are at the same time the house and the ghosts that haunt them. We cope, most of us do cope and get by with faith, trust and belief and importantly with the love and shoulders of others that we call friends and fellow travellers.

Love and friendship is a weird process and so similar to the process called osmosis in which we permeate our pain and troubles into another and unburden ourselves while they do the same with their troubles and sorrow.

It is a comedy situation when we are able to cope and bear another souls pain but unable to do so with our situation and then the same happens in reverse.

Give, take, push, pull, love, lose and loss and the game called life plods on while we plod on in a game of illusions.

All the ancient quotes and wise sayings fall away and refuse to rise and help us in difficult times and it is time and time again the love and friendship of others that rise to catch and heal and soothe our aching wounds.

Kavita spoke and she slowly stumbled through her life and all that had taken place in it. She told Radhu how Raman had helped and protected her and Vijay when they had been attacked by Goondas sent by the late Minister Vaidyanathan. She told him how she had nursed feelings for him from then on and how Raman had again come back into their lives.

She told him about Raman's confrontation with Vaidyanathan that had led to the suicide of Suja, Jeeva's sister and how things has escalated with the arrival of Bharat and Kutty Jeeva and which had all ended in tragic circumstances with the assassination of Vijay and his friend Poornima in Delhi.

She finished narrating by ending with the deaths of the two assassins Gulab and Jamun who had been sent from Delhi to eliminate Raman and his family.

Kavita looked up into his eyes, ' Baby, Raman to me is not just an ordinary man but a real hero and someone who we think of as our families guardian angel.'

Radhu smiled, ' so you see that my prayers of thanks to Allah on his behalf were right after all.'

He gently stroked her cheek and lovingly kissed her mouth and said, ' Yes. He is a hero and as real and mythical as they come and I would consider it an honour to meet him.'

Kavita smiled and said, ' yes. let's drive back to Chennai immediately for I have had enough of Madurai.'

She pulled his face close to her and resting his forehead on hers whispered, ' I now have two heroes and two guardian angels whom I can call my own and whom I consider my family.'

They quickly bathed and came out of the room they were in and saw that the place was empty but for Dhana and Buddha the lion.

Dhana stood up and turning to face them, said, ' So, I guess it is back to Chennai now for both of you?'

Kavita nodded and Radhu stepped forward and said to Dhana, ' Sir, I don't know who you or what you are and it matters not for all I know is that I am in your debt. If ever a need arises and if it so happens that you need my help, please, don't hesitate to call for I will be here. Not just as an obligation or to return the favour but I will come running as a friend.'

Dhanashekara Pandyan smiled, ' Thank you very much, brother. I see you. I hear you.'

Placing his right hand on Radhu's shoulder, ' we are similar in character and share common traits but now we are one in spirit too.'

His eyes suddenly flared and to Radhu it was as if he was seeing some distant stars in the man's eyes but remained warily calm and the man spoke, ' what has been given to you has been gifted to you by the will of the universe. It is bestowed on those who do right and only right and never hesitate to do the right thing even if it means killing and even if it comes to dying.'

He looked at Kavita and with a slight nod of his head beckoned her to come closer and looked at both of them and said, ' I wish you both well. This forest and all those who dwell in it wish you well and give their blessings. Go in peace and remember that you and your blood are always welcome here not as guests but as citizens of this land.'

Kavita looked at him with a thousand questions in her mind but feared asking them and Dhana smiled and said, ' Minister, all in good time. Someday soon, you will return back to this land and we will chat under more peaceful circumstances.'

Night had covered the forest and just as Radhu was wondering as to how they were going to get back to the entrance of the forest, both he and Kavita heard noises of wheels crunching over leaves and twigs and turned to see the twins Arul and Jothi arrive on two all-terrain off-road vehicles and stop before them.

Arul got off his vehicle and quickly went and sat behind his sister and looked at Radhu and Kavita.

Dhana spoke in his deep baritone voice, ' follow the children and they will lead you back to the entrance where Commissioner Davidson and Collector Vinay are anxiously waiting for your return.'

Kavita looked at him confusedly ' sir, what do I tell him?'

' Don't worry about that for it has all been taken care off and I have spoken to the concerned authorities. No one will be asking you anything and you will be safely and quietly escorted back to Chennai.'

Then he turned to his left and all of them saw Queen Malar walk towards them holding two gift-wrapped packages.

Kavita looked at Radhu and looked at Dhana who handed them over and said with twinkling eyes, ' please give them to Raman and Jeeva and convey our congratulations on all our behalf. Also, convey our blessings to Vijay and Suja and tell them we are there for them.'

Kavita who was already majorly confused with all that had happened and was happening, looked at him with shock, ' sir, how do you know Raman and Jeeva and that they have been blessed with twins and how in the world do you know their names?'

Dhanashekara Pandyan smiled and said, ' I know. We know and all of us here know almost everything that goes on and especially when it concerns our family.'

Raising a finger, ' As I said earlier, we will chat when we meet again.'

Kavita did not know why she did what she did but she suddenly fell to her knees and Radhu too did the same and both looked up at Dhanashekara Pandyan and said, ' Thank you for everything.'

The Madurai part of the story is nearly over and in a few chapters, we will return back to Chennai with Radhu and Kavita and back to Shinogai, Raman, Jeeva, Vijay, Suja, Renuka and Nikhil.

And the story will return back to Brigadier Rajashekar and to The Flock.

The man who went into the forest and came back with life and light.

Vaanathai Pola 240

The two ATVs made quick work of the distance that separated the village of Perumalvaram from the outside world and reached the edge of the forest in about fifteen minutes.

The twins Arul and Jothi got down and pointed to the gate where two forest guards stood waiting for them and said ' Minister, it looks like the entire Madurai Police department is waiting for you along with the Commissioner and Collector.'

Kavita smiled and looked at both the brother and sister and said, ' Please, call me by my name for we are not strangers to each other anymore.'

Radha Krishnan took turns shaking both Arul's and Jothi's hands and looked at them with gratitude, ' What she really meant to say was, that we are more than friends and much more than family too for we are now bonded together in blood and life.'

Jothi looked at him and said, ' It is not for me to say it and yet I will say it. You have been bestowed life, and with it, a great power has been placed in your hands. Use it wisely, my friend.'

Arul glared at her and quickly apologised, ' Mr.Radha Krishnan, please forgive my sister for she can sometimes speak out of turn and also forgets her place in this world.'

' No, Arul, Jothi did not speak out of turn and spoke only the truth. All of us warriors who carry weapons and go to war in the name of all that is good and true are sometimes led astray by powers that be and powers in higher places.'

He looked at Jothi and nodded, ' It is true what you just said for there have been a few regrets in my life after I finished doing what I had to do and was told to do.'

Then both Arul and Jothi saw Radhu's eyes light up in an expression of doubt and which was put out as a question, ' I know I was at death's door and was ready for it and I know very well that something beyond my understanding pulled me back and brought me back to this land of the living.'

Shaking his head, he first looked at Kavita as if she had an answer for his questions and then turning back looked at the twins and particularly at Jothi, ' What did you mean when you just said, a great power has been placed in my hands?'

Arul heaved a sigh of relief, a subtle action and yet did not go unnoticed by Radhu and that he sensed something amiss did not escape their eyes too.

Jothi's voice did not reflect any subtlety or wavering of any sort and she spoke in a very calm manner, ' Mr.Radha Krishnan, when I used the words great power, I simply meant that you were given a new and second lease of life which we ourselves have never heard of it having been done, with and without our master and Lord present.'

Pointing to Radhu's chest and legs, ' Don't you think it is a miracle that you are alive when you should be dead and don't you think life is a great power and it takes on a newer meaning when it comes to you for you have come back literally from being dead.'

Radhu looked at Jothi and then at Arul and sensed that they were telling the truth but not the whole and complete truth. He looked away wondering why he felt that way about the twins and then realized that indeed he felt a bit different from before, before being shot and before dying and coming back to life.

He nodded to the twins and they nodded back and said, ' go in peace warrior and remember that you are not alone and will not be alone from now on for we and the our lord are on your side and we fight for you and for your cause.'

Radhu thanked them and turned to Kavita who walked towards the gates and to beyond the gates where the world was lit up so brightly that night seemed to have turned to, day.

The gates of the forest seemed to be the line, the boundary that separated dark from light and Kavita noticing this, ' Radhu, how strange life and reality are. For, in front, the lights of the city lie waiting for us while behind us we leave the forest in darkness but in which lies the real light. A supposedly civilized and modern city waits for us while we leave the real civilization behind us.'

Radhu nodded and then saluted her and said, ' Ma'am, I am not Radhu but Odyssey Pandyan, your personal security guard.'

Kavita smiled and becoming Minister Kavita Duraipandi Arumugam walked out of the forest of Perumalvaram carrying a new light in her womb and all three walked out carrying the power of the man who came before them and the boy who went into the dark and came back with light.

Vaanathai Pola 241

She stepped out of the dim lights that lit up the entrance of the forest and as she came out she looked at Radhu and winked and said, ' stay by my side and stick to me like my skin. I feel safe, a whole lot safer with you by my side.'

Radha Krishnan nodded and flanking her right side walked just one step behind her and as her soul's physical shadow.

As expected, Commissioner Davidson and Collector Vinay stood waiting for her and they were the first faces she saw the moment she stepped out of the forest and into the city limits of Madurai.

Commissioner Davidson who had seen Kavita from the time she had been a little child, groaned his anxiety and quickly crossed himself and whispering thanks to Jesus Christ, asked Kavita, ' are you okay? No injuries of any kind?'

' No injuries Commissioner. Not even a scratch on me and that is because of my security guard, Mr. Pandyan, here.'

Kavita looked at Radhu and then at Commissioner Davidson, ' my man stays by my side and travels where ever I go and there is no ifs or buts about it.'

Raising her left eyebrow in a question mark, ' Is that understood, Commissioner sir? For, if not and if you and the collector here raise some petty issue regarding protocols, then I am turning back and returning back to the forest right now.'

Commissioner Davidson nodded furiously for he was well versed with her anger and the short fuse that once lit was capable of significant damage to all those around her.

' Ma'am, whatever you say is okay with me, right now. But, first things first, ma'am and that is you have to call sir immediately for he has been worried sick about your safety and has made more than 50 calls already. If that was not scary enough, the Chief Minister himself has been calling regularly for updates and information about your safety and arrival.'

Kavita and Radhu were in the dark about what all had transpired outside the forest while they had been inside facing death and mayhem and so she looked at both the Commissioner and Collector and asked worriedly, ' what is going on? what happened out here while we were being attacked by several dozens of armed thugs and hardened criminals?'

'

Her voice rose now in anger and she spat her fury like a spitting cobra and raising her hand, pointed a finger at Commissioner Davidson and said, 'your men. Cops meant to protect me instead tried to kill me and my guard here and if that was not enough we just barely escaped with our lives and we did that because the kind-hearted people of Perumalvaram came to our rescue. Not your department and all the cops you sent but people who you call tribals and last but not least I am here alive and breathing because of a man, a great man who you branded as a blind beggar.'

She glared at Deputy Commissioner Karthik who hung his head in shame and then asked Commissioner Davidson, ' what is going on, sir? Were those men sent by Jagatratchagan? If so, have you spoken to them and made any arrests?'

Collector Vinay stepped forward, ' Ma'am, that problem has been solved by themselves and has ceased to be an issue anymore.'

Minister Kavita Duraipandi Arumugam looked at him sharply and spoke in an angry tone, ' Collector sir, you don't know them like I do and let me tell you from experience that they will not let go until they have dealt with their foe or until their foe has dealt with them.'

Commissioner Davidson spoke like the David Uncle she knew and had interacted with from the time she was a child and spoke in a soft and caring voice, ' Kavitama, what the collector meant to say was that both Jagatratchagan and his father Mookaiah Thevar are no more for they shot themselves to death, earlier today.'

Kavita yelled, ' what? how, why?'

Commissioner Davidson, ' Later, after you have spoken to both your father and the Chief Minister who has been threatening to fly down here to Madurai to personally make sure that you are safe.'

Kavita slowly nodded and Commissioner used his own mobile to call Minister Duraipandi Arumugam and handed the phone to her.

' Appa. I am okaypa. I am not lying pa. Yes, I am planning to either take the last flight back home or worse drive back home with Radhu.'

Commissioner Davidson looked at her as if to catch her attention and Kavita after telling her dad that she would call him back, looked at Davidson who said, ' ma'am, a private plane has been chartered and is ready to take off to Chennai, courtesy of the Chief Minister and the Government.'

Radhu sighed and thought to himself, ' thank god for that. I can look forward to a good night's sleep tonight.'

On the way back to the hotel, Commissioner Davidson told Kavita about everything that had happened and which had led to the suicides of both Jagatratchagan and his father.

Kavita looked at the Commissioner, ' But who? who made all this possible and who had the wherewithal to do all this wonderful but at the same time Impossible feats?'

Commissioner Davidson sighed and shaking his head said defeatedly, ' I have no clue about anything. But, I can tell you one thing and that is there is someone very smart and motivated behind all this and the best part is we will never know who he or they were, ever?'

Kavita looked at Radhu and in both their minds, one name flashed in sync and that name was " Dhanashekara Pandyan.'

Far away and in the darkness, Dhana sat alone on top of the mountain with Buddha the lion resting beside him and he sat in contemplation.

His phone rang and the ring tone meant him, them, the brothers who shared his blood, and their names were Rudran and Bhairav.

walk and talk-1

In television, mostly in television and less in movies, there appear, suddenly, these so-called walk and talk scenes. And staying true to its definition, walk and talk shots or scenes or so rightly called when you have two characters walking through office corridors talking, chatting, discussing and generally shooting the breeze. You get those long scenes mostly in tv series whose subjects are based on Politics, medicines and yes

education.

You have a character, usually the lead actor walking alone in a corridor and who is joined by another actor and after rudimentary forms of greetings have been done and banished, it is then down and time for business.

switcheroo - a change, reversal, or exchange, especially a surprising or deceptive one.

Many years ago, I stood waiting for the fruit vendor to give me the parcel and the remaining change and I heard someone talking and talking in close proximity.I switched on my left eye indicator and turned my head and then with the left eye indicator still on, I swivelled even more that would have made an owl blush and then sensing a movement to my right turned quickly and came face to face with a smallish man who I remembered very well.

Arangathan, looked the same, nearly the same as the last time I had seen him and which was way back in the mid-80s. I looked at him and suddenly my instincts flared up and switching off my indicators and switching on my headlights( mind lights, thought process) to high beam mode I looked at him and realized that something was wrong. There was something wrong in Arangathan's steering wheel for his face was turned away in another direction but his lips were honking and sending them sounds in my direction.

He was not crosseyed but cross faced and feeling more unnerved than perturbed, I slowly stepped back and greeted him timidly.

I guess all of you are familiar with that famous proverb " Agathin Azhagu mugathil theriyum " which when translated to English by Google means " Face is the mirror of the heart."

which simply means you can read another's mind through his eyes and the expressions that even though subtle or fleeting are still there to be read and read if one is him, Sherlock Holmes, but not.

Hurriedly saying my byes, inane excuses like my tummy is not well, I am not well, I am unwell and have to go home and rest, I lifted my skirts and ran home like a lizard who flees by leaving its tail behind ( tail and behind, nalla irukke.tail behind illame frontliye irukkum.Irukkum, yenna, sila peroda naaku, tail mathiri aadikitte irukkum).

Well, came back home, and called my Shepherd who else but Sanjay ( brother perum sanjay, best prendu perum sanjay.Brother kooda vazha mudiyalle, adhaan ippadi oru erpaado, kadavule. nee pesa matten. eppadi pesuven).

Sanjay is not only my friend, shepherd mentor, peer and guide but my classmate too and we all went to school with Arangathaan and he told me in his usual kind and large-hearted manner.( yaarukko, Ezharai appo start aachu and innum mudiyala)

" Paavam da, he is a Schizo as in he is suffering from schizophrenia and I have been helping him with his medical expenses."

schizophrenia - a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behaviour, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation.

Switcheroo Synonyms of switcheroo

about-face, about-turn [British], flip-flop, reversal, turnabout, turnaround, U-turn, volte-face

denial, disaffirmance, disavowal, disownment, recantation, renunciation, repudiation, retraction

reconsideration, retreat, second thought

hesitation, indecision, irresolution, shilly-shallying, vacillation, wavering, wobbling (also wabbling)

Stop. Pause, slow down, dwell and ponder on the words above and tell me honestly if at least a few of them suit us, define us.

WTF! please stop and think before you throw that large rock at me.

To be concluded in the next post

walk and talk -2

In the beginning, it was just an object, objects and I was too tiny to object about them. Then, later, I stood before them and did the same thing that I had seen others, adults do and which was to fold my hands, close my eyes and with bent and bowed head pray to it, them.

I prayed many a time, particularly during my maths and physics exams and other than that prayed, paid lip service that usually went, ' Hi people, all well. Just watch over me, okay. Bye."

Then one day, I prayed and felt different immediately for an emotion stirred in my breast and I opened my eyes and looked at them and asked, " What's going on guys?" and my own voice whispered, " You are praying for someone else and their welfare."

At one point, many points in life, it hits you hard and hits home that it is true what they whisper, all those wise old, bearded ghosts of men, ' True happiness comes when you try to make another happy. You really pray when you pray for another soul. You really live when you live for another and others."

Switcheroo- O..A Satish, Paduthaathe, Vishayathukku vaa, neraya vela irukke. Unna mathiri engallale, 2.30 and 3.00 amkku ezhunthukka mudiyathu.( for f..ks sake, get to the point and make the point for all of us do not wake up at 2.30 in the morning).

walk and talk will now continue as begun in the beginning.

Voices, do you hear voices?

Do you talk to yourselves?

Do you separate yourself from yourself and reason and debate as two and are better from that experience?

I am. I do and let me say it again, I DO.

Up, inside that bony vault, hidden behind that thing on top that we call Skull is that thing called the brain and it is in two halves, and in many folds.

Two halves you say and I say, yes. left takes care of the right and the right takes care of the left.

X and Y. Shiva and Shakti. Both man and woman. Both father and mother

A mother is a mother and also a father.

It is the father, the male who has to behave more like a mother. ( sorry, just had to say it and out of experience)

Praying in my opinion is a way of talking to ourselves and we are not branded a Schizo. Meditating is again a quiet interaction with the even quieter God and the Universe and yet here again we are talking through our soul and we are not branded a Schizo.

In the vault of my life and in the Reliquary of my memories are many safe's with steel doors and behind them lie waiting like coiled snakes, many versions of me, all outdated ones but still me.

They are different I see and yet they were me once and I talk to them, learn from them and No, I am not a Schizo.

For in the end I, you are our each of own best friends. Who else can we trust when we stand alone but the older versions and also newer versions of ourselves that lie in wait in our vaults?

Talking through your thoughts can be incredibly beneficial to your memory and cognitive functioning, as well as your mental and physical health. While you may catch some odd looks from people if you get caught talking to yourself at length in public, just take comfort in knowing that doing so is keeping you well-adjusted to the hectic day and age we live in.

Since talking to yourself allows you to organize your thoughts and prioritize your obligations, your mind isn’t constantly racing, wondering when you’re going to have enough time to get it all done. In turn, you’ll become more relaxed and able to go with the flow. Furthermore, talking to yourself helps you prepare for difficult times in life, such as a conversation with a loved one, colleague, or boss. Whether giving yourself a simple pep talk or rehearsing what you’re going to say, hearing the words come out of your mouth make the action doable, and allowing you to face tough situations with courage and confidence.

So, it is okay to talk to yourself and I guess it is double okay for many who don't have anyone to really talk to or really talk if they did have someone.

Maybe, we have really pre-equipped with a spare self and that is why our brain is in two halves and folded many times.

Maybe, really maybe we have two eyes, one to see for yourself and the other to see others and really see them.

Maybe, we have two hands, one to help myself and the other to throw it around the ones who will need it or use it to give.

Maybe our lips are not just a circular hole but two flaps of skin, one to speak for ourselves and the other to speak up for others.

Maybe, we are given many lives so we can in the end, use all of them to live for one another and make this a better place.

Dreamer, Schizo, loosu but hey, it is all goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood. Ille.

Good morning. I wish you a beautiful Schizo day.

Vaanathai Pola 242

Dhana greeted Rudran with the respect and love and in the same manner that all the brothers and sisters of their bloodline did, had done and would continue to do so for eternity

"Greetings my lord, my brother. It is good to hear your voice again. How goes your trip to Israel?"

" All is well, My lord and brother and I should be back in Chennai in a few days."

Dhana heard the questions, rather felt it in his mind at the same time that Rudran thought of them and answered before the questions came, " Radha Krishnan and Kavita just left to the Madurai Airport where a chartered plane waits for them to take them back safely to Chennai."

" Dhana, the problem is not over by any means and this smuggling racket involving the Thevar leaders Jagatratchagan and Mookaiah were just the tip of the iceberg. You know it and I know it and so we cannot afford to relax or let our guard down for even a moment."

Dhanashekara Pandyan heard Rudran's words and also heard what Rudran did not say but was thinking and asked tentatively, " My lord, why do I sense this uneasiness in your voice and forgive me for saying but I have been getting this strange and uneasy vibe from you for the past few months."

Rudran did not answer and so Dhana continued, " I came out of seclusion and came to Madurai as you requested and yet you seem unsure about something. What is it my Lord Rudran?"

The problem that lay between them was that both were unaware of Bhairav the twin who lay buried as another brain deep inside of Rudran's brain and that it was he who was sending warning signals about something looming large on the horizon and that its nature was covered in darkness and deception.

Rudran replied, " I don't know Dhana but you are right for my primitive instinct has been warning me about some impending danger for some time now. But, I am not able to get a grip on what it may be or who is causing it."

Dhana spoke as a brother to another, " Rudy, maybe we should meet up in Chennai once you arrive and we will sit down and discuss this in more detail then."

Rudran then asked about Radha Krishnan and Dhana told him all that had transpired in the forest of Perumalvaram and how Buddha had saved Radhu from certain death.

Rudran laughed and spoke out his thoughts loudly, " So, we are being watched by him and the others. It has been a long time now since a human was saved and brought back from certain death. Even he did not do that and was not done by them."

Dhana spoke in a sad voice, " I have often wondered about that Rudy, even though hundred's of years have passed since The Mother left and I have thought hard as to why The Elders did not intervene on his behalf for he was the first one and that after so many millions of years of The Searching.

Both spoke for a long time before they said their goodbyes.

Dhana felt the disturbance and turned to see Arul and Jothi standing behind him and he saw their eyes and the questions that filled them.

He called to them, " Come children. Come and sit with me and let me shed a little light on your questions and I hope that they are satisfactory and will do for now."