*~H.G.O.R.C. #546~*- $~Invites Only~$ - Page 80

ok, BRB, may 2019 ki batain thori or read kar loon, ab mujhe bhe acha lagta hai khud ke zakhm pe salt lagana,

os ne to tab bohot koshish ki thi ke wo mujhe hurt kare, rulaye or wo lucky hai, har baar kamyaab ho jati hai, bus meri kismat kharab hai jo main phir bhe zinda raha,!

kar liya bohot kuch read, lekin bus is se agey nahi hoga mujh se yehi kafi hai,

os ka 1 mesg dekha os ne likha tha ke main os ki life me nahi is liye wo zeyada khush hai. os ki life zeyada achi hai,

jab ye mesg main ne dekh liya tha to phir os ko jo bhe kehna tha main ne wo kese socha ke ye sun legi.. jis ne itni bhari baat keh di, to main ne kese soch liya tha.

or eysa bola os ne wo kiyon.. main ne os keyliye kuch bura nahi socha tha. main ne khud ki khushi ko side pe rakh ke os ka socha tha kya is liye ke wo mujhe ye baatain sunati..

or wese bhe ye sab jo aj meri halat hai os ko khushi dete dete he hoi hai, ager main khud ki marzi karta to os ko to nikaal diya tha life se, bus osi ko khushi dene keyliye wapis zindagi main aney diya tha. or aj ye kuch bhe bakwaas kar rahi hai jo is ke mu me ata hai.

or ye galti bhe meri he hai, is ko wese he jawab dena chahiye tha jese ye bakwaas karti hai theek wese he,

main is se agey ki batain read nahi kar sakta ab, ye bhe pata nahi kese kar lin. itna dard saha nahi jata mujh se bus kafi hai,

os ko thora sa bhe ehsaas nahi tha ke wo kya bole ja rahi hai.. to phir har baar drama kiyon kiya os ne ke os ko realize ho geya mera pain,? kese ho sakta hai jab wo har baar eysi batain kar ke mujhe rula jati hai, itni kharab meri halat os ki in baton ki waja se ho gayi thi,

kuch sochna to chahiye tha os ko bolne se pehle ke wo kya bol rahi hai or kis ke samne bol rahi hai, or os ke eysa bolne se meri halat kya hogi, os ko to 2015 se pehle ka maloom hai mera heart bohot weak hai phir bhe eysa bola os ne,,?

koi 1 baat ager wo bata deti ke kese mujh se door reh kar khush hai wo zeyada,! kya ye jawab hai os ka ke meri zindagi ki ye halat kar ke wo khush hai ,? becoz jab tak main theek tha wo theek thi, jab os ne meri zindagi itni achi zindagi barbaad kar ke rakh di to eysa karne ke baad os ko ye ehsaas hova ke wo khush nahi thi mere sath,! jab drama kar rahi thi tab nahi hota tha ehsaas ke wo jo kar rahi hai natak os ko nahi karna chahiye.

main ne os keyliye jo kuch socha os ko aj bhe maloom nahi wo sab, or main aj bhe kehta hoon os jesi ki okaat hai he nahi, wo to nafrat ke kabil bhe nahi jis ko itna pyaar de diya tha main ne,

or os ki khushi keyliye main ne apni taraf se bohot kuch kiya tha , main ne khud ki zindagi barbaad karwa li os ko khushi dete dete kya is liye ke wo eysa bolti mujhe..

wo jo os ko har baar chance deta tha os ko khushi he deta tha na main, sab jante hove bhe ke ye meri buri halat karegi, mani baat os ki, kis liye,? ke wo khush ho jayegi... or os ne mujhe khuhsi dene keyliye kya kiya,, koi 1 kaam,? ulta eysi batain kar kar ke meri kya halat bana di os naagin ne, sab jante hove ke main ek heart patient hoon,! ye bhe jante hove ke main bohot weak hoon, ye bhe os ko pata hai meri feelings se koi khele to mujhe bohot pain hota hai. mujhe pata nahi tha 2015 me ke ye eysi batain karegi warna is ko tab he is ki jaga pe rakhta jo okaat thi os ki na ke sar pe bitha ke rakhta :P main ne he kharab kiya os ko, ye sab bolne ka chance diya os ko,

ager os ne kabhe haan ki he na hoti phir to theek tha ye sab os ka bolna or mujhe hurt bhe na hota, but os ne hamesha mujhe feel karwaya tha ke os ki khushi mere sath hai, jab bhe chance manga tha os ne yehi zid thi os ki ke os ko mere sath rehna hai wo mere bina nahi reh sakti, kis liye tha wo sab? os natak ki waja kya thi,

os ko sharm nahi ati kisi ki life/feelings ke sath khelte hove.. ye koi cheez hai khelne ki... os ne meri zindagi ko mushkil bana ke rakh diya hamesha keyliye. 4+ saal se buri halat me hoon or abhe puri life eysi he guzre gi meri..

achi game hai jo khel gayi wo mere sath.

os ne bohot galat batain boli thin jo os ko nahi bolna chahiye tha, main ne is se agey read nahi karna, ye 1 baat he mere dil ko bohot rula gayi, is se agey to bohot zeyada hain jo mujhe wese bhe yaad hain, read karon ya na kya fark parta hai..

os ko ye sab read karna chahiye tha or sochna chahiye tha ye sab sahi kiya tha os ne ya galat,!

in sab baton ke 5 months pehle 2018 me to kuch or he bol rahi thi.. on sab baton ko dekhon to dil kehta hai ye dono alag alag person hain, lekin mujhe pata hai na os ka yehi kaam kiya os ne hamesha, ye keh kar ke realize ho geya, different person, na jane kitni baar ye batain bol kar os ne rulaya mujhe. jhoot ki bhe had hoti hai,

or main bewakoof kahin ka har baar os ka yakeen karta raha

zalim se zalim insaan bhe ho to os ko bhe taras a jata hai eyse to, or ek ye hai,?

samne wala ro raha hai, os se keh raha hai ke tumhari batain mujhe rula rahi hain, dard ho raha hai or wo soft hone ki jaga eysi batain kare ta ke Ap ka or bura haal ho to eyse logon ko insaan kehna chahiye kya,? kon kehta hai os me insaniyat hai 0.00% hai,! balke wo to insaan he nahi hai,!

main ne oper kaha na ke os ne to puri koshish ki thi, or os ki koshish rang layi bhe, wo to meri he kismat kharab thi jo zinda raha, warna main to os heart attack pe he mar jata or wo aj tak soch rahi hoti ke shayed ansar mujhe bhool geya or kahin bhaag geya,

kash wesa ho jata yaar, mere sare dard khatam ho jate 1 he pal me... bus kismat bohot buri hai meri.

ager os ne meri life me wapis nahi ana tha, ya mujhe koi or khushi nahi de sakti thi to kam se kam apni bakwaas band rakhni chahiye na os ko, eysi batain nahi karni chahyein thin jis se mujhe dard ho,

is ko pata nahi hai is ke sath hone kya wala hai :P ager main zinda raha to dekhon ga is ki halat or is se puchon ga ab bolo,! samjh aya kisi ke dil ko dukhane ki keemat kya hai? or mera ye wada hai tab ye jawab dene ke kabil bhe nahi hogi,!

main SS nahi dikha sakta yaar, mujhe dec 2015 me ye zeyada theek lagi thi, os se buri tarhan se to is naagin ne last year mujhe deal kiya tha, itni he nafrat thi mujh se to na kehti ke mere city me a kar batana mujhe...

ye batain os ki dekh kar is se agey nahi read kar sakta main ab bus.

*i have a decent life right now, without you*

*i m happy*

*koshish ki par pata chala nahi ho sakta muj se, i wouldnt have been happy with you*

haan bohot koshish thi is ki :P 6 months ka time nahi de saki thi or naya ashiq dhond liya ye is ki koshish thi :P

mujhe wo sab karne nahi diya jo main kar sakta tha,! ye kohsish thi is ki,! 1 try tak nahi ki na os ne na mujhe karne ki ijazat thi, ye koshish thi os naagin ki, koshish kya thi naya ashiq chahiye tha, taste karna tha na os ko kisi new ashiq ka is liye :P