Update 17:
Part 17: It's Complicated.
It took more willpower than he thought he had , but he was able to manage it, uncurling his arm from her waist, releasing the grip he had on her hand.
She wants him. He wants her. But the timing couldn't be more wrong.
He hated what he had to do. But he had plenty of his own reasons to keep his distance.
On Ishita's side, she froze in her spot, her heart slowed and skipped a beat!
Finding it hard to believe what he just said, she lifted her head to look at his face. His eyes seemed focused on her yet his mind seemed like he had a million things running through it. She could see the need in his eyes speak of a burning desire. She was a woman. She could sense these things. We are programmed that way. But his words were contradicting his body language. She wasn't sure what to make of his estranged behavior.
She slowly slid her hand down his chest and placed it right above his heart on top of his shirt he had on. She wanted to feel his heartbeat beneath her touch to make sure she wasn't hallucinating ! She could swear ,beneath her palms,she could feel his racing heartbeat!
He knew what she was thinking! It was obvious with astonishment and perplexity written all over her face! He gently placed his one hand on top of hers and held her trembling fingers firmly. Slowly, he put his other hand into his pocket and leaned against the wall behind him. His gaze now locked on hers.
Raman's POV:
Shagun ke saath saath pyar bhi uski jindagi se chala gaya. Wo uski jindagi main aanewali pehli ladki thhi. Usjne ush par apna sab kuch luta diya...
Ushe apni palkon pe bitha ke rakha. Wo raat raat bhar party karti, uske bete aur uski family ko ignore karti but ushne kabhi kuch nahi kaha. Ushe zara sa sar dard hota toh raath bhar jaag kar uski dekhbhal karta.
She was his first. First experience of intimacy. But he was not her first. One night in a state of semi-intoxication, she blurted out saying she had many boyfriends before marriage and every one was crazy about her but in bed he is way better than everyone else. He was startled but he never brought it up again. He loved her with all his heart. But that was not enough. She wanted a bigger house and expensive clothes. She didn't want to live with his parents and siblings. She felt they invaded her privacy. She whined about not being able to enjoy exotic vacations. She always complained that he didn't fulfill her dreams and she is living a miserable life. A beautiful women like her deserves a luxurious life which she can never have with him. Gold and diamond were more special than love in her eyes.
He was a simple man who was content with his life enjoying family togetherness. But she had big dreams. Dreams of ultra rich life. And one day she slammed the door on his face and left him. When he finally realized how much these materialistic things mattered to her, it was simply too late!
Since then he had spent many nights crying himself to sleep and waking with tears in his eyes, wondering will he ever be able to get over this intense feelings of sadness and grief. The overwhelming sense of never being able to get past the pain of heartbreak is unbearable.
He learned the hard way not to trust any women ever again. Specially the beautiful ones!
Love, marriage ,relationships... its all a sham.
Ek baar pyar karne ke galti kar li ushne. Ab doobara nahi. Kabhi nahi. Ab wo aur kisi aur ko apna dil todne ka haq nahi de sakta. He can't go through that hell again.
So he isolated himself from everyone. Just when he began to settle in his new life of solitude, he met Ishita under the most unusual circumstances possible. In the very first meeting, she threatened to take down all the walls he secretly built around his heart, and before he knew it, she was married to him!
They don't even share a cordial relationship but there is something about this girl. He finds himself drawn to her, almost too strongly to resist. She creates an effect he simply cannot ignore.
And thats why he feared that this woman could unravel the image he'd worked so hard to build. The one where he didn't need anyone. He couldn't need anyone. There wasn't enough of him to care about,or to take care of,anyone else. And he certainly couldn't stand the idea of breaking her heart. That's why he had to stop this before it went any further.
Ishita searched his eyes again. There was something behind them that told her that he wanted to tell her something else, but he simply couldn't let the words form.
And then, his eyes told her something which he couldn't...
*** "I can't be what you need."
"How do you know what I need? "
"As much as I 'd love to find out, I'm not the man to give it to you, to give you anything."
"I don't think this------"
"This is such a bad idea! I don't want to ruin one of the most beautiful moments of your life!" ***
Ishita saw a flash of pain in his eyes. There was so much raw emotion there - hurt, regret and a sadness that made her own heart ache.
She knew that every bit of her wanted this man. Not his body. Well, she wanted that , too, but what she really wanted was to spend time with him to ease some of the pain she could see dwelling inside him but that he took such great pains to hide.
Raman sensed the awkwardness of the situation they were trying to deal with, which she started and he ended rather abruptly .
He made an attempt to lighten the environment. He gave her a serious but tender look.
Raman- Kya soch kar mujh pe dore dalne ki koshis kar rahi thhi? Tumhe kya laga, mujhpe tumhara asar hoga?
Ishita who was lost in his eyes, came out of her trance and looked at him with a genuine smile.
Ishita- Asar hua kya??
Raman looked with an ardent smile down into her face for a second...
Raman- Nahi! Koi asar nahi hua. Aur, tumhare paas zara bhi dimmag nahi hai kya? Agar asar hota toh kya main ish waqt tumhari ye bakwas sun raha hota!!!
She was blushing yet riled up at the same time.
Ishita- Point! Waise, main duniya ki pehli biwi hongi jo apne pati pe dore daal rahi thhi! Kaamal hain na...log doosron ke pati ko fasate hain ...main apne pati pe try kar rahi thhi! Sadly, that also didn't work!
Raman- It didn't work because you are not my type. Toh aage se try bhi mat karna!
Ishita- Ouch, that Hurts! By the way, Can I ask what exactly is your type?
Raman- No. You cannot. It's not your place to ask.
Ishita- Not my place? (She flinched at the cutting acidity in his voice)
Raman- Right, because this marriage doesn't mean anything to me! Ab jao yahan se. I am getting late for office.
Ishita stood there for few seconds with a bewildered look on her face thinking how can someone be so cold-hearted and emotionless.
Raman(staring at her)- Tum abhi tak gayi nahi?
Ishita- Bas ek aakhri sawaal poochna thha...
Raman- Ab kya hai?
Ishita lowered her gaze to her hand which Raman was still holding firmly.
Ishita- Aap mera ye haath chorenge ya saath main aayenge?
Time stopped for Raman.
"Dammit!" He whispered quietly as his glance rested first on his hand holding hers and then on Ishita. He wasn't aware that all this while, he was holding her hand close to his heart as if it was the most natural thing in the world. When he did realize he was surprised and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before he let it go.
Raman- Go away!
Ishita looked at him warily and moved towards the door.
Raman- Aur ek baat. Yeh apni jatayen baandh ke rakha karo! Mujhe khule baal bilkul nahi pasand!
She stopped and turned on her heels...
Ishita- Kyaaaa? Kya kaha aapne?? Jatayen??? Mere baal aapko jatayen lagti hain? How rude!
Raman- Ab jaisi lagti hain waisi hi kahunga na! Aur mujhe ye baat samajh nahi aati ki tum itne lambe baal rakhti kyun ho jab unhe sambhal nahi sakti! Meri baat mano, mundan karwa lo.
He chuckled and walked towards the en-suite bathroom.
Ishita(Talking to herself)- Kadwa Karela! Ye kabhi nahi sudherega! Mere silky,soft, shinning balon ko jatayen kehta hai! Itni beizzati? One day I will strangle him with my hair only!
Raman(behind the closed bathroom door)- Sun liya maine!
Ishita- Achha hai! Phr mat kehna maine warn nahi kiya thha...
As she was about to leave the room, she noticed her bare hands. Chooda was lying on the dressing table where she left it before leaving for shower. She sat on the vanity stool to finish her eye-grabbing look. Wore her chooda, brushed her hair back from her forehead, tucking the flaps behind her ears, a small red bindi on her forehead and Kaajal in her beautiful eyes. Gold earrings in the shape of flowers finished her look. She scanned herself in the vanity mirror! A range of thoughts crossed her mind!
Ishita's internal monologue- The biggest irony of my life is that I got full attention from every guy I ever met except one who is not even tiny bit interested in me!
He also happens to be my husband!!!
Ye ya toh mujhe daant rahe hote hain ya taane de rahe hote hain! Pyaar se toh kabhi baat hi nahi ki! Is that because there is someone else in his life? Or is it because he is still in love with his ex? But what was that when I felt his heart pounding against mine! I saw that look in his eyes! The look that said he wanted me too! Was I hallucinating. Ho sakta hai? Ishu, this is what happens when someone reads too many romantic novels. When you read "Love Story" for the 20th time you start seeing and feeling things which are not even there!
He is never going to fall for you. He made it very clear today.
Does it hurt?
Yes. It does. A lot!
Do you blame him?
No. Not at all.
Why?
Because at least he is honest enough to tell me his true feelings. I can give him that!
Accept it. Har kisi ko prince charming nahi milta. Kuch logon ko Raavan Kumar ke saath hi nibhana padta hai!
But there is no denying the fact that I feel safe and secure when he is around. Why he makes me feel that way, thats another mystery yet to resolve!
Goodness me, he is way too complicated!
Now stop thinking about him!
There are other beautiful things in your life apart from this marital bliss that you crave for! May be he doesn't need you, doesn't care about your feelings but there is someone else who will return your love tenfold.
Your little princess Ruhi. You enjoy your day with your darling daughter .
Bhalla House Dining Hall area
Ishita went straight into the kitchen. Neelu was busy preparing breakfast for everyone.
She exhaled a long breath and began to prepare tea for everybody while trying hard to control the storm brewing inside her.
By that time Mummy Ji came for breakfast. Ishita served her tea.
Ishita wanted to buy some stuff for Ruhi. But she didn't want to use her own cards because they were all connected to a joint account between her and Appa. She was married now. According to her, it wasn't appropriate to use her father's funds for her expenses.
Ishita- Mummy ji, aapke paas 5000 ruppees honge? Main Ruhi ko shopping pe leke jana chahti thhi!
Toshi ji- Puttar, locker ki chabhi tere Papa ji ne kal guma di aur purse bhi ushi main thha! Aaj banwani hai. Tu ek kaam kyun nahi karti. Raman se uska credit card le le. 5000 rupaye main kya hoga! Uske card pe jitna marji kharch kar liyo. Aur ushe keh ke apne liye alag se card bhi banwa lena.
Ishita's internal monologue : Papa ji , aapko bhi aaj hi chabhi gumani thhi...! Aur Mummy ji, main kish muh se aapke bete se credit kard mangne jaun. Unke hisaab se toh main unki koi nahi lagti!
Sach toh ye hai ki, ish rishte ki dor bas maine sambhal rakhi hai, apni taraf se! Unki taraf se toh ye dor unone kabhi thami hi nahi! Ek baar, mere haath se ye dor chooti aur hamara rishta khatam.
Khair, ish bare main baad main sochungi. Abhi toh paison ki problem solve karni hai. Akka se bhi nahi le sakti. Woh toh turant help kar dengi but Raman ke bare main jaroor poochengi. Toh unhe kya jawab doongi. Akka ko sachhai pata chali toh unhe mere liye bohot bura lagega. No.. No. Unhe hurt nahi kar sakti.
Aur waise bhi ye ek din ki baat toh hai nahi. Mujhe aage bhi paison ki jaroorat pad sakti hai. Aage kabhi Mummy ji se paise maange toh woh Raman ki class le lengi aur phr Raman meri. In sab se bachne ka ek hi option. Koi job kar leti hoon. Aisi jiski wajah se Ruhi ko compromise na karna pade. Ruhi bohot choti hai! And its important ki main uske saath jayda se jayda waqt bitaun taki hamari ek bonding ho jaye. Pehle socha thha Ruhi ke liye kam se kam 2 saal full time stay-at-home mom ban ke rahoongi . Phr jab wo thodi badi ho jayegi toh apni practice shuru karoongi. But ab lagta hai ki mujhe shayad wo AIIMS main lecturer wali job le leni chaiye. Director ne khud phone karke job offer ki thhi and I politely refused. I hope that offer still stands.
But aaj ke liye, I don't have a choice. Appa sponsored credit card hi use kar leti hoon. One last time. Bas Ruhi ke liye. Next time onward, I will have my salary.
Ishita- Theek hai Mummy ji, main unse le loongi. Aap nashta kar len.
Just then Papa ji arrived in the hall.
Papa Ji- Ishita Puttar, Iyer Ji ka phone aaya thha! Unhone hum sabko kal shaam ki chai aur raat ke khane pe invite kiya hai!
Toshi ji- Waah. Ye toh bohot badiya gal hai. Puttar, tu shopping ja rahi hai toh apne mayke walon ke liye bhi gift le lena. Pehli baar unke ghar ja rahen hain. Khali haath jana achha nahi lagta. Aur sun, gift bilkul unke hisaab se lena. Paison ke bare main bilkul mat sochna. Apne liye bhi jo pasand aaye le lena. Raman paise kharch karne se tujhe kabhi nahi rokega! Ishliye jo mann main aaye kharid lena.
Ishita nodded her head in yes. Unfortunately, that time she forgot that any transaction above 2 Lakhs in a day on any card belonging to Iyer family sends an sms alert to Monica who manages finances of entire Iyer household.
After sometime Raman came and sat opposite to Mummy Ji.
Papa Ji- Raman puttar, Ishita ke daddy ka phone aaya thha! Unhone hum sabko kal dinner pe bulaya hai. Tujhe specially invite kiya hai kyunki teri kabhi unse formal mulakat nahi hui! Toh tu kal shaam ka apna calender clear rakhna.
He nodded his head in yes and got busy going through 'The Financial Times' newspaper!
When Ishita was serving breakfast to Mummy Ji and Papa ji, Raman asked for tea.
She brought him tea without sugar!
After first sip, he shouted...
Raman- Ishita , ye kaisi chai hai? Cheeni nahi dali?
Ishita(with dramatic surprise look) - Accha? Dali toh thhi. Koi na, phr se daal deti hoon!
She took his cup to kitchen and added 1 spoonful of salt in it. She recalled his comments about her tresses and added one more spoonful of salt in his tea and returned to him. She sat on a chair near him and served the tea.
Ishita- Ab pee ke batao. Pyaar se banayi hai. (A naughty smile played on her lips.)
One sip and he realized what she has done to his tea! He looked at her suspiciously. Before he could utter a word, she kicked him in the shins under the table with her Stiletto. Looking at her mischievous smile he understood, she did it on purpose.
Raman's Internal Monologue- Chai main namak daak kar ushe zeher bana diya hai aur kehti hai pyar se banaya hai..pee lo.! Ye Madrassan ka Nagin wala zehreela pyar ek din meri jaan leke rahega! Achha hua ishe aaj kiss nahi kiya, warna tera ram nam satt ho jata Raman Kumar. Apne balon ka badla le rahi hai...Nagin!
Raman "Ouched"!
Toshi ji- Kya hua Puttar? Tu theek hai na? Chai bohot garam hai kya? Tu toh jayda garam chai nahi peeta na!
Raman(staring at Ishita)- Haan Maa! Garam toh bohot hai! But ab mujhe aise hi pasand hai!
Ishita(while stroking her long hair )- Aap kuch keh rahe thhe? Chai ke bare main? I hope taste badal gaya hoga! Ab sahi hai na?
Raman smiled and looked at her affectionately.
Raman- Haan. Ab bilkul sahi hai! Just the way I like it!
And he sipped the entire salt mixed tea in one go and left for work immediately!
Toshi Ji asked him to stop and have some breakfast but he refused! He didn't want to take any more chances with the stunts of his JKR who just showed him a small trailer of the movie she had in store for him!
Ishita was confused. First by the affectionate look and later seeing him sipping that salted tea! She didn't expect either of that. She felt a little bad too for her prank! But immediately recalled how he made fun of her beautiful tresses. She shrugged off the guilt feeling.
On the other side, on his way to work, Raman couldn't stop smiling the entire time! He was amused by the cute antics of his wife this morning starting from trying to seduce him until serving him that dreadful salted tea!
As he stepped in his cabin, Mihir greeted him.
Mihir- Bhai, aaj aap bada muskura rahe ho? Pehle toh kabhi itna khush nahi dekha aapko?
Raman realized, he was actually smiling a lot today! He never felt so light and fresh before. In fact in past few years, today was the first time he was smiling for a reason that was totally personal to him!
Madrasan had occupied his mind and his every waking thought.
He decided not to think about her anymore and got busy with work. He had to wrap a lot of work today so that he could make time to meet his in-laws tomorrow evening.
****************************************************************************************
PS: "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they aren't loving you the best way they can!"
**Raman didn't know that tomorrow evening is going to change his life forever!**
Edited by Mi-Amor - 6 years ago
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