Chura Liya Tumne Jo Dil Ko - repost - Epi pg 138* OSR link pg 149

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dqno1

@dqno1

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 7 years ago

#1101

Originally posted by: miss_mystery
I am so sorry Avi
I did not come here
So can't read and reply...hope you forgive me

no problem 😃

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Prabh

@MomiArti

Inactive

Posted: 7 years ago

#1102

Pls reopend this i also want to read this story.

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Meerkat

@Meerkat

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

#1103

Thank you Avi for letting me read the story. Will be back with my comments shortly.

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..Silvermist..

@Silvermist32223

Navigator

Posted: 7 years ago

#1104

Are you reposting this story ??

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Prabh

@MomiArti

Inactive

Posted: 7 years ago

#1105

Superb start.both fight with eacother and gave them lovely and funny name.maaneet fight for ball.maan 17 and geet 15.maan lattu on geet.thanx for pm.next update soon.

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dqno1

@dqno1

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 7 years ago

#1106

Originally posted by: Silvermist32223
Are you reposting this story ??

I had started for Nohar but I guess more will want to read 😃 so yes

Chapter 1 is on page 4

Edited by dqno1 - 7 years ago

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dqno1

@dqno1

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 7 years ago

#1107

Originally posted by: Ginnosuke_Nohar
Thank you Avi for letting me read the story. Will be back with my comments shortly.

you are welcome
I update as soon as you are done so you set the pace and we will keep on plugging since it is written already 😃

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Meerkat

@Meerkat

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

#1108

First of all things, love the title. A song, melodious and sensual, at the same time. I'm guessing it will be the same with the story.

Second, the banner is beautiful too. Maan in the banner is so handsome. I liked this look more than the office one.

About the chapter- Mukka-Laat, read it as Mulaqaat at the first glance, then realized my error. Smart wordplay there.

The chapter was so cute.

Geet looks adorable and feisty here. Love that combination.

I was smiling throughout reading her monologues. Baby Fat hai. Lol.

And then when she started cursing him, Donkey, monkey, gadham, Badi ankh walla ullu.

Maan is no less. I could see my brother and my younger cousins in him. No one and nothing exists when they are immersed in hitting centuries. Then in front of us blowing their own trumpets . Today I was 135 not out. Irritation at being disturbed or God forbid if the game has to be paused for some reason.Also that no concern about others feelings. At that age you rarely give thought to such things. Moti ko moti bol diya, Dark skinned is called Kaaliya and an underweight is Patlu. I liked this element of realism. And the fact that Geet didn't take it silently and gave it back to him. Loved that there was some teeth action too. Now its teeth, gives me hope that someday there will be some tongue and lip action to.

Childhood is about innocence and uninhibited freedom and vengeance too, I guess.😆 The chapter reflected all that.

BTW, Would you take me to crazy because my eyes noticed the alliteration and rhyming in that line

Ki Billi has the Ball

Ullu ko mila Babji ka Thullu

😆😆

What can I do? Was working on poetry assignment before I wrote the comment. Lol.

Hathi Handa , Jungli Billi, Ullu, Monkey, Donkey, this was chapter dedicated to animals. Lol. Avi you should have put a disclaimer note Ki jo janwar chut gaye hai unse shamayachna karti hun. It was purely unintentional. Lol.

So a leap and it's solah baras ki baali umar's phase. Wow. 15 n 17

Hum hai solah ki kinaron ki tarah

Tu us paar mai is paar

Hormones on overdrive

Cupid has found the target

Ladka is spellbound

Ladki ko shayad kahabar nahi ,

She'll want to fight, I'm assuming and Maan, well we'll see.

It's going to go crazy from here. Rudy Ganguly and Hathi Handa ka kya hoga ab 😛

Thank you for the chapter. Loved it.

Quote

dqno1

@dqno1

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 7 years ago

#1109

Originally posted by: Ginnosuke_Nohar

First of all things, love the title. A song, melodious and
sensual, at the same time. I'm guessing it will be the same with the story.

Second, the banner is beautiful too. Maan in the banner is
so handsome. I liked this look more than
the office one.

About the chapter- Mukka-Laat, read it as Mulaqaat at the
first glance, then realized my error. Smart wordplay there. 

The chapter was so cute. 

Geet looks adorable and feisty here. Love that combination.

I was smiling
throughout reading her monologues. Baby Fat hai. Lol. 

And then when she started cursing him, Donkey, monkey, gadham,
Badi ankh walla ullu. 

Maan is no less. I could see my brother and my younger
cousins in him. No one and nothing exists when they are immersed in hitting
centuries. Then in front of us blowing their own trumpets . Today I was 135 not
out. Irritation at being disturbed or God forbid if the game has to be paused
for some reason.Also that no concern
about others feelings. At that age you rarely give thought to such things. Moti
ko moti bol diya, Dark skinned is called Kaaliya and an underweight is Patlu. I
liked this element of realism. And the fact that Geet didn't take it silently
and gave it back to him. Loved that there was some teeth action too. Now its
teeth, gives me hope that someday there will be some tongue and lip action to.

Childhood is about innocence and uninhibited freedom and vengeance too, I guess.😆 The
chapter reflected all that.

BTW, Would you take me to crazy because my eyes noticed the alliteration
and rhyming in that line 

Ki Billi has the Ball

Ullu ko mila Babji ka Thullu
😆😆


What can I do? Was working on poetry assignment before I
wrote the comment. Lol.

Hathi Handa , Jungli Billi, Ullu, Monkey, Donkey, this was
chapter dedicated to animals. Lol. Avi you should have put a disclaimer note
Ki jo janwar chut gaye hai unse shamayachna karti hun. It was purely unintentional.
Lol.

So a leap and it's solah baras ki baali umar's phase. Wow.
15 n 17

Hum hai solah ki kinaron ki tarah

Tu us paar mai is paar

Hormones on overdrive

Cupid has found the target

Ladka is spellbound

Ladki ko shayad kahabar nahi , 

She'll want to fight, I'm assuming
and Maan, well we'll see.

It's going to go crazy from here. Rudy Ganguly and Hathi Handa ka kya hoga ab😛



Thank you for the chapter. Loved
it.

Thank you thank you!
Iss nacheez ko acche se comment karne ke liye 😆
just checked the forum before starting the day so 6:15 here
and it looks like it will be a good one 😃
I did not have a disclaimer for the animals but later I had to put a disclaimer on the updates because one reader fell off her kitchen slab laughing.
She said she was still laughing on the floor when her husband heard the fall and came to check on her 😆
Hopefully it will turn out to be fun for you too so consider yourself warned 😃

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Prabh

@MomiArti

Inactive

Posted: 7 years ago

#1110

Superb part love moti ullu fight.4 year leap and maan attracked to geet and she is ignoring him.maan try to avoid geet but in last take a cold shower.geet in danger and maan came to help.next soon