Epistle 4: The Wilting ShadowsA/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Hope all of you are doing well! :D :D
Well, in case you are wondering what's happening, after almost completing re-editing US, I decided to turn the first two chapters of Book 1 into a prologue, so there's going to be two extra epistles for Book 1 now, the first of which is this one. This will be the new Epistle 4 as per the chronological order. :) :) As to the PANs, I should have them up in January once I'm done editing with Book 6, so please do bear with the slight delay in schedule.
Not keeping y'all for long,
Happy Reading! :D :D
2nd June, 1996:
To think that I could ever have a normal day!
My life is always full of surprises. Some pleasant, some unpleasant.
But let's start with the positive one first. I climbed a tree today! Can you believe it?! It felt so rejuvenating that for a moment there I even forgot that this was Mumbai and not Anjar with the open meadows and the long trees surrounding our house. Ofcourse there weren't mangoes to break from upon the branches to use all my extra skill and trickery with, but atleast I showed Ishaani how I could access the terrace by climbing the tree since a protruding branch does hit the railing.
But you know what the best part was?
Even Ishaani climbed the tree with me! I was honestly astounded that she even knew how to climb one in the first place. She didn't, really, but then gripping the branches and the trunk was pretty easy. Dangerous, yes, but since when has she ever backed away from a challenge? We were lucky that no one was home today or else Ishaani would gave had it for certain. As it is Falguni Maa gets ballistic whenever she does things like that, but she just doesn't understand. She loves troubling her mother with things like these.
Actually, the whole topic came out today when Ishaani and I were studying together in my room. I tutor her for Maths, so like every afternoon after school, I took up whatever has been done in Maths for that day and make her practice her homework sums as well so that she gets the hang of the concept. And like always, she happened to get distracted in between, talking out of the blue about how she wants to travel some place with good scenic nature and not just concrete jungles.
Well, on any other day, I'd have reprimanded her for getting distracted, but I couldn't help it today. I was in one of those nostalgic moods myself, and so I ended up talking about our house back in the village with the meadows and the trees and the farm. Oh, just reliving all of it in my memories brought tears to my eyes, all entire picture vividly dancing in front of my eyes. It took me quite some time to control my emotions again after the flame of yearning that had been rekindled in my heart, but I managed to do it in the end. But at the cost of killing my urge to talk to Maa today. If I'll call her, I'll end up crying for certain now.
Err, where was I? Oh yes.
So, out of nowhere, Ishaani suddenly took my hand into her own and pulled me behind her, leading me out from the room and straight through the corridor and downstairs. I kept asking her about where we were headed to, but she just wouldn't give me a reply until we finally entered the garden, walking towards the big Ashoka that stood tall in the broad afternoon light. I gave Ishaani a confused look, and she gave me a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders.
"I've always wanted to have a tree house. Well, we don't have a tree house, but what say we spend some time on the tree? The branches are broad enough to accommodate both of us comfortably," she added, as though in incentive.
I rolled my eyes at her, wondering what daredevil had gotten into her out of nowhere. And I continued staring at her, gobsmacked, for goodness knows how long before I finally managed to get my senses back. And the first thing I remember consciously doing was to shake my head at her in vehement denial. But she just wouldn't take no for an answer, stubborn that she is!
"Oh come on! It'll be so much fun! Isn't this what you just told me that you wanted to do?" she asked, her eyes as curious as always. If only she'd understand!
"Do you want me to get slapped by Baa again or something?" I shot back in return, hoping that she'd get my point. But for some reason, she seemed resolute.
"Relax! Nobody's at home! No one will come to know about it!"
I would have not said anything had this been someone else, but this was Ishaani! She was a good girl who never broke today, where I got to see another side of her for the first time. The rebellious side. And even though my mind protested at the top of its voice, I could feel the tug in my heart for wanting to climb that tree. It had been so long since I'd done it last.
Before Ishaani could say anything further, my feet automatically made its way towards the truck of the tree, my palm hitting against the rough wood to check for its smoothness. To my fortune, there were a lot of crevices that helped me get a proper footing as I swung my right foot upon the hollow in the branch, my hands holding on to the sides of the trunk as I swung the other one higher. I looked behind to see Ishaani look ecstatic, her eyes bulging with what I realized was happiness.
And suddenly, a gush of wind swept through my hair. My eyes shut at the sensation of the cool winds kissing my sweaty forehead as the scent of petrichor hit me out of nowhere. I was suddenly taken back to my home back at the village where Maa would yell at me to get down from the tree, and I would laugh away at her, climbing only higher and higher until she'd give up on me as a lost cause. Then I'd get down and she'd attack me with her flying slippers.
Someone was telling at me even today, but the voice only grew more and more distant as the same laughter left my lips, my hands and feet tracing the wooden surface higher and higher. The wind remained in its intoxicating gush as I felt the thrill of what I was doing pound against9 my ears, the adrenaline getting to me. My eyes were aimed at the sky; my feet upon its roots. And there suddenly was the final bark in wait for me as I swung my legs across either side of it, sitting not unlike a horserider upon its ride like a king.
And that's when I looked down.
Rather than finding Ishaani upon the ground, I ended up finding Ishaani halfway stuck upon the trunk, heaving her way up slowly and rather clumsily. I felt my heart get stuck in my throat as I eyes her every movement, too shell-shocked to try and help help her yet curious to see if she could make her way to the top. If she would have lost her footing at any one point of time, let's just say that it would have been a very, very grave injury, not to mention the repercussions of the same. But slowly yet steadily, struggling yet determined, Ishaani made her way to the top at long last as I shifted aside to give her sufficient space. The branch we were sitting on touched the railing of the terrace.
"Are you out of your mind?! Do you even know what-" I began angrily, my heart beating rather irregularly. But she disregarded my word of protest, cutting me out with a casual flick of her arm.
"Oh, do be quiet! Let me catch my breath atleast!" she whined in return, earning a glare from me.
"Ishaani, I'm serious. This is dangerous! Anything could have happened, and-" I began again, but this time, Ishaani simply shook her head, disgruntled.
"There's no reward without risk in life now, is there?" she asked, and there was something about the way she said it that just caught my attention.
"What if you'd have fallen off? Do you know how badly you could have gotten hurt?! Ishaani, this is no joke! Please, you are under my supervision! If anything would have happened to you, do you even know what would have happened to me? What answer would I have given your parents? To Baa? She would have whipped my skin off of me!" I ended, slightly breathless.
Ishaani gave me an incredulous look, clearly disbelieving of what I told her. She's not so disbelieving now after seeing what happened.
"Nothing happened now, did it?" she countered, easing her way through the argument with a soft smile. And even as I made to argue back, her smile wiped away all the retorts from upon my lips. Well, do you blame me, really? How can you really expect me to tell her anything when she keeps looking so angelic all the time? Even in the afternoon, she was glowing like a princess!
"Ishaani- You know what, it's my mistake. I shouldn't have told you about the village thing in the first place. I don't know what got into me, I just got carried away. I need to remember that I'm just a servant in this house, that's all," I mumbled absentmindedly, but the moment my eye caught with Ishaani, I regretted my comment. She looked deadpan.
"And you need to remember that for me, you are only my friend. So there's no need to use that word in front of me again," she stated with finality, her tone not entertaining any further arguments. And I decided not to argue any further as well.
"Ah, it's lovely up here, although slightly uncomfortable," added Ishaani, looking slightly embarrassed. I chuckled at her.
"It's a tree. What do you expect?" I asked, and both of us chuckled, enjoying the calm afternoon. Well, the calm before the storm, to be more precise.
The two of us remained seated like that for some time, talking all kinds of trivial things. It was certainly an experience like no other, what I had with Ishaani on the tree today. And I think it's definitely the best conversation I've heard with her so far. It was just... carefree. Like the way childhood is supposed to be in all essence, I suppose. I've felt like this after a long, long time and it was a welcome feeling.
But, but, but.
Since when has any day gone by without spirit dampener? And just like every day, today was no different. It was rather special, to be honest. I actually got whipped by Baa today for the first time! You must be wondering why I'm so chipper about it. I'm not. I've just finished bawling my eyes out in pain and humiliation, and it's impossible how I can sound so relaxed when I was inconsolable just an hour ago.
Once Ishaani and I had sat to our hearts' share, I managed to show Ishaani how to drag our way to the terrace from upon the branch we were sitting on, and it was quite easy. If only our life was so. Apparently, Baa caught us making the move across the terrace (that we didn't realize at that time), but it was when we got down to the living room some time later when we found Baa sitting upon the chair sofa, her expression grim. But what caught Ishaani and my attention were her eyes. They looked like they could spew fire.
And without any words being spoken, everything was said and understood. I could feel Ishaani shiver beside me in fright as she stood closer to me, as thought trying to hide herself away. Wrong move. Baa only cocked her eyebrow at her in disapproval, her gaze enough to force Ishaani away as she spoke coldly.
"Go. I need to talk to him."
Ishaani didn't need to be told twice before she quickly scampered away from the room, albeit turning behind to look at me at every step. Neither of us had forgotten the last time Baa had rained hell upon us. Her words still rung in both of our ears, but that was before my shrieks of pain from today. I'm afraid that neither of us are going to forget about it for a long, long time. Well, how can we, when for the first time in my life, I was whipped in all earnest?
The moment Ishaani left the hall, Baa caught me hand and dragged me to her room, barricaded both of us in. No explanations were asked or required. She simply opened the cupboard and retrieved an odd-looking whip from it before uncoiling it in her hand, and I swear that I've never been this afraid my whole life. And there was nobody to cry out to help for. Not even Ishaani, who I was trying to save in the first place because it was her idea.
But it was only when I felt the first crack of the whip hit my skin with a pain that I was certain how bad a decision it was to get carried away and listen to her. The pain almost made me feel that my skin was being ripped off from my body as my knees buckled, hitting the ground crudely. A cry of pain escaped my lips as I felt the second lash hit me, the impact of it even greater than the previous time. And the good heavens' knows how I've begged for her to stop as I screamt and cried simultaneously, the pain blinding me of everything else. And just when I thought I'd lose control upon myself and embrace the darkness once and for all, it stopped. The final nail to the coffin was her singular statement that's still reverberating in my ears.
"I hope you will remember this the next time you think about mingling with any one of the kids and risking their lives. And more importantly, the Parekh honour. Out you go."
I had no energy to even look up at her, far away to actually muster the strength and get up. But the first thing that met my eye was the black of the whip in Baa's hand. The black that suddenly brought my world into focus as I pushed my protesting body upon its feet, groaning in pain as my hands burned terribly. I was too afraid to look down and see what had become of me, so I decided to scamper away from the room and from the rest of the world as fast as I could. How could a day like this have such a fiendish end, I couldn't fathom as I unbolted the doors and swung them open.
And there stood Ishaani in front of me as white as a ghost.
She'd eavesdropped upon the entire scene, there was no doubt about it. And even as her eyes began taking in my appearance, I fled away from her as far as I could, my feet carrying me up the grand staircase of its own accord. I thought that I heard her call my name out in a frightened whisper as she chased me for a short distance before giving up, but I couldn't look behind. I just couldn't because my feet wouldn't just halt.
They only did when I pushed open the doors of the store room and shut them behind me. I walked a little further and lit an oil lamp before falling beside it in a heap, my mind too stunned to take in anything else. Tears fell of their own accord as I continued to stare at my palms, feeling the inflicted areas of my body now burn and ache simultaneously. It was a dreadful existence, that indefinite time as I was left alone with my pains and thoughts, no one there to even console me this time or wipe away my tears. Not even Baba. And it was not pretty.
Until, the doors suddenly opened.
There stood Ishaani in her pink frock, her eyes wide and lips trembling as she entered the room and bolted us in. I was about to protest when she shook her head vehemently, asking me to remain silent. The next minute, I knew why. Harshad Kaka's voice came with a resounding boom from somewhere distant, and the rest was understood. I didn't have the will to shoo Ishaani again as she sat close to me, cross-legged, setting something down with a clink alongside. Something, that I realized, was a bowl of ice-cream. Butterscotch.
And my wounds only seemed to sting more at the sight of the cold cream. Before I even knew it, my fingers dipped into the bowl and dabbed the cool cream upon a gash on my hand, the cold a blast of heaven upon the aching burns of the whip that had left it's raw red shadow upon wherever it had made contact with my skin.
"What are you doing, stupid? You're supposed to eat it, not apply it," she said, eyeing me with a mixture of intrigue and surprise.
"Maa always says that when you get hurt, you should apply something cold upon it. It lessens the pain," I added, and she sighed sadly.
"If it helps you feel better, here, give me your hand. I'll do it for you," she offered, taking my hand into her own in spite of my protests.
And she did. I could see a couple of tears threaten to fall from her eyes every time I hissed in pain when her fingers made gentle contact with my skin, my own eyes still letting the tears of pain, injustice and anger fall ceaselessly. Ishaani continued to stare at me with the same look of inexplicable apology in her eyes as she rubbed small circles upon my palm. I knew that she was too tongue-tied herself to talk about what she was just witnessed, and so I didn't pursue the topic any further either. Both of us sought to console ourselves by staring at each other when Harshad Kaka's voice cut through, calling Ishaani.
"Go back to your room and rest, okay? I've told Harshad Uncle everything so you needn't worry," was all she said as she stood up, giving me a quick smile.
She didn't even give me enough time to react before she got upon her feet and ran out from the room, leaving me behind with my hands having patches of ice cream upon them. I was too lost in thought to understand anything before the wicker beside me extinguished, leaving me in absolute darkness. The cold, daunting darkness was what snapped me back to reality as Ishaani's absence suddenly weighed upon me, my heart shivering. I knew that I had to get back to my room. I knew that I had to get back to Baba.
Taking the courage to get upon my feet again, I finally dared to peek outside the store room when I could no longer hear any voices anymore. The silence of the house didn't feel anymore assuring, but I knew that I had to make my way to my room. And so I did. To my surprise, the room was completely deserted, but I suppose that Baba must be with Harshad Kaka still. He still hasn't returned, and I can only imagine his reaction when he sees me. But atleast unlike the last time, I've vented everything out already so he doesn't have to worry about that. I'll be his pillar of strength this time.
It's really strange, how nothing is certain around here. A moments' worth of happiness is another moments' worth of anguish in the next. A memory worth cherishing for a lifetime in a day; a nightmare worth obliviating for the rest of my life. And as I'm sitting by the window side, staring out at the evening sky, I can only think about one thing when I think about today.
Life is a ying yang. There's always going to be good in bad and bad in good for neither can exist without the other. And there's no changing that, ever.
Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D
Edited by LadyMeringue - 8 years ago
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