"Where are we going now, I mean spending this night, Miss Murthy?"
"Ummm, Lets see..."
"Wooow...I should have known, at least by now I should have known."
"Known what, what are u saying?"
"At least by now I should have known that u shouldn't ask Nandini Murthy for ideas unless you want to screw yourself real bad. Because if this is her idea of a dinner, she might as well ask u to sleep under a tree, by the road aaand... I am not game for it."
"Manik.." She tried to explain.
"Chup chap chalo mere saath car mein."
They walked up to his car and just when Manik was about to open the door, he heard Nandini "Aiyappa... meri chappal."
'Not again' Manik thought. He had had a very eventful day, he had seen more antics in one day than he had done in a long long time. "Now what?? Don't tell me you tore your chappals"
She was kneeling down on the ground, holding her sandal. Manik bent over her to inspect. Nandini looked up with one of her I-don't-know-why-I-always-land-up-in-trouble looks. He nodded his head in amusement and then they both broke into a laugh. Thankfully, she was merely few steps away from the car. She hung her broken Sandal in one hand and walked barefoot to the car.
Manik drove the car back up to a point which was closest to the Lover's point and parked in a corner. They had been here a couple of hours ago and yet it looked so unfamiliar now. Coming from a city that never slept, this looked like a haunted town to him. Far away in the valley, a dozen or so houses still glimmered like tiny dots. Everything else was pitch dark. Manik turned off his headlights. The dense coat of fog covering the hills was growing heavier by the minute and his eyes started to water from the chill outside. 'Weather can change really fast in the hills' he thought.
"Nandini you want to go home to get a pair of shoes?" He asked but she didn't respond.
He turned to Nandini.. Her eyes were closed but she was shivering. He gently patted on her shoulder, so as not to wake her up if she was asleep. She was wearing a sleeveless cotton kurti with a scarf. Her arms were freezing. Manik immediately rolled up the windows and turned on the heater. She was curled up in her seat with her head tilted to one side. Manik got off the car and opened the passenger seat's door. He reclined her seat and put her dirty feet on the dashboard, he adjusted her position, took off his jacket and wrapped it around her before returning to his seat.
He sat there in silence for a long, long time, sometimes looking at the foggy sky, sometimes at her, sleeping peacefully next to him. 'Poor girl, she must be really tired'..but then he had had an equally exhausting day, in fact more as he had to drive 6 hours from Mumbai to reach here. But sleep never came easily to him, not on days when he wasn't on induced tranquilizers. He had to beg for it, tossing and turning for hours before finally he would give up in frustration and sleep, as if out of sympathy would wrap him in her arms.
He felt envious of Nandini, of the way she slept peacefully without a care in the world. He felt envious of her clean heart, of her lively nature, & above all her infectious smile. Why couldn't he smile like her, why couldn't he be so sure of himself even while making mistakes, why couldn't he trust people like she had trusted him. She was alone with a week old friend in a secluded area of the town and she was perfectly sure he wouldn't harm her and you could only do that when you have a heart that's almost transparent.
May be he thought it wasn't such a good idea to trust. He will tell her tomorrow not to trust anyone so easily. May be this is how she had fallen for that wierdo.
His thoughts turned back to himself. It was funny how closely the scene outside resembled the one inside his head. He was trapped inside a dark tunnel and he had no clue if he would ever get out of it. Everything, everywhere around him looked fishy. There was no one he could trust, no one he could turn to and confess his feelings to. His dad, he believed, loved him a lot. But where was he in his melancholic moments. He was carrying a lot of pain inside. He hadn't spoken to anyone about his days at the hospital, the white bed, the blue curtains, the MRI machines or the shock electrodes. He hadn't spoken about his wails in the middle of the night, sweating and trembling at the same time. Whom should he share his aimless life with, whom should he tell that he doesn't know where he came from and where he is heading to, that his past is like an impenetrable wall and the more he tries to dent a hole in it, the more it bruises and bleeds his arms.
Its not that he hasn't tried to work his brain into remembering something, anything, any damn thing but every time he ended up feeling restless and nauseous. He wanted to cry out for help, he wanted to quit, he wanted someone to hold him up and tell him that he was not ok but now that they were here, everything will fall into place. But all he got was silence...defeaning silence. The only ever time he felt calm was when he was with her. Yes, it was actually weird but he felt a sense of dj vu when he was with her, like he had been here before too.
Should he confess to her, would she listen? Would she understand? Or like the rest of the mean world, she too would use his weakness to her advantage.
He was becoming bitter, the sweet memories of the day were slowly washing away. He could feel the demon rise inside him, the cynical angry beast..
He got out of the car, struggling for fresh air. It was way too cold, he had goosebumps all over but he needed this bitter cold to douse the fire that was raging inside him. He paced up and down for a while till he saw her coming out.
"Manik... what are u doing here?" She asked yawning and rubbing her eyes.
"Why did u come out? Go inside and sleep, you will catch cold."
"NO I will go only if u come"
"I won't..."
"Ok then I will stand here and after sometime if I am too sleepy, I might just collapse here and then wolves might carry me somewhere."
"Shut up"
"So u r coming?"
"Why do you have to argue all the time?"
"Manik come quickly, see I am collapsing."
He went back and this time Nandini sat in the back seat, pulling Manik along. She rested her head on his shoulder, wrapped her arms around his and dozed off. Her braided hair, now completely tangled fell on his chest. He was literally caged by her. There was no way he could get out now.
But it felt good, to be held this way, like he too was wanted.
He loved her, he definitely loved Nandini Murthy, not the 'Love' kinda love but the 'I-m-thankful-i-met-u' kinda love. She could drive away his demons just like that.
Why did she cry like that? How does it matter to her if he lives or dies? Y did she have to come out now, she was in deep sleep, but boy she did care...She did, for whatever be the reason she did and that was enough for now. At least in this whole big world he had one friend. May be she will understand...if he confessed to her.
And it seemed sleep too was going to be kind to him now.
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I know this is a small update and u guys like it long. But i thought a smaller update is better than no update at all. So enjoy reading guys... I hope you like it. Do send in ur comments and love :)
