Nidhi looked nervously at dr ashuotosh as he drove in absolute silence...a silence that seemed to be unbearable for nidhi...n she finally collected the courage to speak..."kuch kahenge nahi??itne naaraaz hain"??he did not reply ..just bit his lower lip and then cleared his throat.."abhi lets not discuss..ek request thi..baba ko ya armaan ko nahi batana...lets wait a while and get some clarity on the whole issue..then we would decide...aur haan col verma ko maine kaha tha hum aayenge kal subah..solankis are also coming there...ok"??nidhi nodded..but her head seemex to be whirling with tension...it could have been the happiest day for her..the ultimate dream..was being fulfilled..her cup of joy was brimming...her universe was ggoing to be complete..but then...what use was all the joys in the world if he...her husband..her dr ashutosh ..her everything was not happy..What was going on in his mind??why did he say not to share the news with baba...what was he going to decide??surely he would not force her to...no he couldn't do that...nidhi's eyes filled with tears...and she looked at ashutosh...he was focussed on the road ahead..and she silently wiped her tears...
The car came to a screeching halt at Mathur niwas and nidhi gotdown...as they entered,baba smiled"arre waah aaj dono sath...kaise"??ashutosh smiled"woh PGI gaya tha kaam se..iski classes khatm ho gayi thi to..."baba smiled"v good..chal nidhi beti aaj tu chai bana...saath peeyenge .."and nidhi nodded as she went into freshen up..and as dr ashutosh wanted to follow her;baba said"baith mere pass..yeh bata..nidhi ka chehra kyun utra hai..kuch baat hai kya"??
"Kuch nahi baba..i am fine..dekhiye abhi chai peeke sab fresh lagenge"!!nidhi tried to put up an act as she made tea n got some sandwiches..
Baba ate with relish..but ashutosh observed nidhi hardly ate...was it distaste for food ..so common in the first few weeks or was she nervous???he looked at her...as she was continuously stirring her tea...n for the first time concern peeked through his mask of emotionlessness...baba 's experienced eyes seemed to be watching all...silently..."nidhi..jaa beta aaraam ker ..heeraman aata hi hoga..tu tired hai aaj ..jaa"!!and nidhi got up...making a mammoth effort to hold back her tears..n fears...
**********
"Coffee lenge..."??nidhi asked as dr Ashutosh was busy with his files ..n he nodded...as she got a cup of their favourite strong coffee...he took the cup n said "so jaao..i have work...aur haan coffee nahi peena..not good in this condition.."nidhi felt a strange urge to cry..he was concerned about her..why didnt he speak up..why was he not asking her anything...why wasnt he reacting...not even shouting!!nidhi couldn't bear it...as she put her trembling hand on his brown sweater. .."suniye..."he looked at her"aaj bahut thaki ho..mujhe bhi kaafi kaam hai..so jao..kal col verma ke yahaan se aake discuss karenge ..its a very important decision ..it cant be decided off hand...good nighr"!
Nidhi sighed...as she returned to the bed..n lay ..tired..fagged out..confused and vv sad...as she closed her eyes...tears that she had held back so far ..seemed to flow out silently but steadily...
For dr ashutosh. .work seemed a digression..he did not want to think right now..at keast he was trying ..he wanted to overcome the shock..n then decide logically with nidhi..whetjer to keep the baby or...??but how would she react??he knew ..that though he was v keen at her PG ..he would never force her into anything...he had not wanted a pregnancy so early...but it seemed nidhi had messed up the pill regime...but it was his fault too...probably at myssoorie...yes 5 weeks back...had she forgotten her pills??ashutosh had no answers...or there were too many questions...how had this mistake occurred??what d nidhi want now??should he convince her??and most importantly..why was she so keen at motherhood so early on in life...
He yawned as he got up...n as was customary when he got into the bed..he pulled nidhi to his chest...she whimpered in her sleep...and he felt a wet patch...his fingers touched her cheeks...they were wet with tears...ashutosh sighed...he knew whatever decision he took was not going to be easy...but yes nidhi's interests had to be the point of focus. .her health..her education..her future...her desires...
Ashutosh closed his eyes...and through his disturbed sleep...he seemed to see a whirl of smoke...take the shape of a lil baby girl...all in pink...and as she again disdolved into smoke ..she seemed to be extending her gand to him...n he heard a feeble cry..."papa..."!!ashutosh woke up with a start...and hot up...as he looked at nidhi...18 years his junior..his wife..his love..but also his duty n responsibility. ..hadnt he failed to guard her interests??could he make amends...??as he closed his eyes the cry of "papa..."reverberated again...was his child..their child ..their unborn baby pulling at his heart strings??the heart strings of dr Hardstone!!
Yeh Fitoor Tera
Anupamaa
