PART VI ā Love's Labor Lost!
Oh gentle winds beneath moonlit skies,
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?
Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?
Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts askew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?
Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it amongst these trees.
It's scattered across the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting over the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.
It's buried beneath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.
No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart.
3 Years back, Mount Abu
It was almost a week after Bani had joined College after passing out from her high school. Even though it was not her choice of College that she got admitted to, she nevertheless enjoyed the independence that it gave her. Belonging to a very conservative and traditional family and brought up by an overbearing and protective Mother, Bani like any other young girl of her age yearned to break free and rebel against all the norms laid upon her by family and society.
Kiran used to drop and pick up Bani from College daily, much to her mortification and annoyance but her Mother wouldn't hear of anything and was convinced that every young man in Mount Abu had set hawkish eyes on her darling daughter and it was her duty to protect Bani's virtue and innocence till she was married off and then became her husband's burden. Bani hated this old-fashioned attitude of her Mother and left no chance to break rules or just plainly rebel. Not so much because she wanted to experience the thrill of having an affair or a casual fling, far from it, but simply cause she had an obstinate, rebellious streak in her character and had a tendency to always go against the tide, just for the heck of it.
And then one fine day, Kiran had to reluctantly go off to Kota to visit her sister, Shaanti, since she had been keeping poor health for some time and Bani was on her own at home, besides her Father, who anyway was the most gullible person on Earth and two younger sisters, who wouldn't dare raise their eyes in front of Bani. Aparajit and Pallavi were settled in Delhi, so Kiran had given innumerous instructions to Bani on her behavior while she was away and that she was to go and come back from College like any good girl and not even think of talking to any stranger in between. Bani had docilely agreed to everything and had all the intentions of following those rules, because she was genuinely not interested in boys like most girls of her age and was happy enough to enjoy her college life.
The local elections in Mount Abu were underway and there was a lot of campaigning going on, with jeep full of boisterous young men shouting slogans passing by every now and then and once in a while, heckling causal passer-byes. Bani was practical enough to realize that it was better to ignore such un-social elements and get on with your job, head bent down and quickly. It was one of such mornings, when Bani had rushed out of her home and left for College. She was late as usual, with Kiran not around, she slept more than what her Mother normally allowed her to and taking the Tiffin satchel in her hand, she waited frantically for an auto or mini-bus to come, but nothing came her way. In desperation, she decided to walk for some distance and hope to catch an auto, she could not afford to miss her class today as she had an important lecture.
Just then, she saw a group of White-Kurta clad men coming from the opposite directions, waving banners and shouting slogans for some Political party and instinctively, she backed off a bit, trying to shied herself from their view and almost succeeded till one of the boys saw her, alone in the deserted road and nudged another boy and then the whole group was staring at her. Bani froze to her spot in fear, her mind stopped working and then suddenly she gathered her steps and started walking fast, praying that an auto or bus comes her way. She realized that the group was also following her, Bani broke into a nervous sweat and her eyes clouded with tears as she looked around frightened to see for some help, but none came. And then the group of 5 odd boys closed on to her as she shivered, holding her bag and satchel close to her chest.
They had lewd smiles on their face and were staring at in a way which disgusted the core of her being. And just as she started breaking their circle and move away, one of them came close to her, reeking of cheap alcohol and catching her hand said lewdly, "I like the color of your Duppata. Why don't you give it to me?" Before Bani could say or react, he snatched the stole of her body and put it around his neck as his companions laughed raucously and the other one came and snatched the bag from her hand and her Tiffin satchel fell from her hand, as she begin weeping openly, desperately hoping for some rescue to come. The men glared at her body in a naked, lustful manner and one of them gave a wink to another boy indicating something, Bani stood still shaking with fear and sobs, whimpering onto herself.
The expression on their faces changed and two of them held Bani's hand roughly and dragged her towards a shack in the empty street. Bani was so shocked and stricken with fear that her voice was lodged in her throat and even though she realized what was going to happen to her, she could not even make a sound of protest, except keeping cry with dread and terror.
Just then a roguish sounding male voice was heard from behind her saying in a light-hearted manner, "Won't you ask me to join in the fun, boys?"
Suddenly all the five goons jerked their head to see where the voice came from and the two men holding Bani's arms left it suddenly. Bani kept standing, crying and shivering with shock and horror.
The five goons kept staring at the man who had just said those words as he continued in the same impish and sarcastic tone, "5 men against 1 girl? Wowā¦you are really some men, aren't you? Ok then let me see how 5 men fare against 1 man."
Before Bani knew what was happening, her rescuer had bashed the smithereens out of the 5 goons and they limped their way out of the place as soon as possible.
Bani had surrendered on the boulevard, taking support of the wall and clustered on to herself, kept crying, with her eyes closed, till she felt her Duppata falling back on her body again. As she opened her eyes, petrified and fearful, they fell on a young, smiling face with the most mischievously twinkling pair of eyes ever, as the young man sat besides her, kneeling on the street, handing over her bag and Tiffin satchel.
Bani kept in the same position, staring at him with her tear strained face, as he smiled in a teasing manner and said, "Now you will want to thank me for saving your honor, isn't it? I will tell you what. I have no need for thanks, but I forgot to have breakfast in the morning. Can I have your Tiffin Box?"
Bani did not say anything but just kept staring at him, as he coolly sat down besides her, taking support of the Wall and opening her Tiffin, licked his lips with delight and tucked in to her lunch, finished the very last morsel of it. As he closed shut the lunch box and handed it over to Bani, he said in the same light-hearted manner, "Tell you Mother that she is an amazing cook."
Without thinking Bani replied back, "My Mother cooks horribly. I have made my Lunch."
The young man looked up startled at Bani and broke out laughing wildly, shaking all over with laughter and after composing himself said, "Not bad. You can speak. Though wonder why you were crying like a tethered cow when those goons were out to rip you apart?"
Bani kept looking at the man, who was now brushing his White Kurta, getting up and she suddenly realized what situation she was in. Alone with a stranger in some empty street in a town where everyone knew her family by name. He was of a medium height and looked as thin as a stick, but she guessed he wasn't all that weak, since he had comfortably bashed 5 men in one go and looked as cool as a cucumber. Though there was nothing particularly striking about him, his whole persona was maddeningly attractive and the way his eyes twinkled with mischief seemed to make Bani skip her Heart Beat. His curly black hair were done untidily, giving him an overall look of a cute animation character!
He broke her reverie and pulling out his hand across to her, said in a friendly tone, "Hi, I am Ranveer. And you are?"
Bani realized that she was flushing and squiggling a bit said in a diffident tone, "No one you should know."
Ranveer looked at her with his eye-brow raised and then getting that lop-sided smile of his back said in the same teasing tone, "Wonder where this entire attitude came from suddenly?"
Bani glared back at him and he started laughing again with the same youthful superciliousness and mischief. "Shall I drop you to where ever you are going or will you save yourself the next time, nameless girl?"
Bani stared back at him, trying to appear dignified but his laughter was so infectious that she found herself smiling a bit shyly and then laughing a bit herself.
As an auto came by at that moment and Ranveer stopped it for Bani to get in, she turned to face him and said softly, "Thank you."
For a change he did not grin or retort on this but just kept looking at her intensely, till she looked back at him and said in a shy voice, "I am Bani Dixit. St. Xavier's, 1st Year."
Ranveer stared at her wide-eyed, appeared to think for a while and then said in a slightly funny voice, "Bani Dixit? Dixit, right? Don't tell me you are Kiran's Mam's girl. Oh God."
Bani looked back at him equally surprised and asked him, "Do you know Ma?"
Ranveer was laughing again and he replied again, "Know her? Of course I do. I made some of her Teaching years miserable in school. Ask her if she remembers Ranveer Tyagi or not, though I can assure you that hearing my name again might get her ulcers back again!"
Bani was so taken aback at the irreverence with which he spoke, that she wanted to snub him immediately, but there was no malice or meanness in his voice and she found herself amused and laughing alongside him.
The Auto driver gave both of them a sardonic look and muttering something under his breath drove away and Bani said, "See, I missed the auto because of you. And I am already very late for College."
Ranveer smiled and bowing down a bit dramatically said, "Let me be your knight in shining, Ms. Dixit and drop you to College on my Kajri. This is the least I can do to repay your Mother not getting me thrown out of school for so many years." Bani stared back at him and asked, "Kajri?"
Ranveer nodded his head and said in a mock serious voice, "My Bike, the one and only love of my life."
Bani had found herself laughing once again as she gingerly sat behind him on the Bike, for the first time in her life and had a rather rocky ride to her College, trying to hold on to the Bike without touching him.
And hence started a warm friendship between Ranveer and Bani and even though she knew from the beginning that he was all wrong, she simply could not stop her Heart from following the path which led to him. Ranveer was a born charmer, a complete chatterbox, lively, extremely funny and full of life and enthusiasm. Just meeting him seemed to fill Bani's whole being with an unknown, unfathomable happiness and she found herself thinking more and more about Ranveer.
Having studied in a girl's school all her life and having got admission into a girls' college, her interaction with the opposite sex if any was limited mostly to her Father, Brother and some of her cousins. And till date, she had never really had any serious crush or affection for any boy. But Ranveer seemed to sweep her off her feet, literally. It was tough meeting him regularly because of her Mother, but Ranveer was too much of a genius to be underestimated and somehow he found ways to meet Bani on a regular basis, regaling her with anecdotes and jokes about his friends and acquaintances. Bani always found herself in very high spirit and full of laughter and joy after every such meeting.
Later Bani cleverly enrolled herself in an Evening Music class at a time when she knew that her Mother would be unable to pick or drop her. Bani didn't remember attending one single lesson of the same and spent those three days in a week in Ranveer's joyous company, sitting at the Company Bagh, overlooking Nakki Lake as they sat laughing and chattering, watching the Setting Sun go down the placid waters of the Lake in serene Mount Abu. It was a surprising relationship, two young, good-looking people of almost similar disposition, yet sharing nothing more than a deep fondness and friendship, the liaison never venturing into the corporeal, not even holding handsā¦yet, the magnetic pull that Bani felt towards Ranveer was spell-binding for her.
She did not know much about Ranveer, except that he was an orphan, brought up by his paternal Uncle who was in politics. Ranveer had dropped out of College and was involved with his Uncle's Political Party in Jaipur and was visiting Mount Abu for an upcoming Election Campaign. He was completely different from all the men she had known or met till date, he never once tried to even touch Bani or make any move that she knew young men did, as per some of her friends. He was genuinely interested in listening to Bani and never made fun of her when she talked about how she felt lost, caught between her family's tradition and what her own heart wanted. He could be extremely attentive and sensitive at once and then suddenly go on a teasing spree, pulling Bani's leg and irritating her deliberately, especially over the subject of her Mother. Ranveer was all what her family intensely disliked in prospective men for their daughters; unreserved, sporty, fun-loving, brash, irreverent and impetuous. And for those very reasons, Bani fell headlong for Ranveer.
Bani did not realize when she ended up giving her Heart to him. But she did know that it was her first and last love and now no other man could ever take the place which she had given to Ranveer in her Heart. She wondered what he felt for her many times, but did not have the courage to ask him.
And one fine night, Bani had heard a stone falling on the glass window of her room, it was the month of winter and everyone had retired for the night already, even though it was only close to 9 Pm. Bani looked outside and saw Ranveer standing below, outside the gates of her house, leaning against his Kajri and when he saw her, he winked mischievously. She was shocked at first and then asked him with her mouth cupped what the hell was he doing at this time?
Ranveer called her down and when Bani nodded her head in the affirmative to indicate that she won't come to meet him, he started opening the gate of her house. Horrified at the prospect of having her Parents see a young man coming inside the house to meet at her this hour, she desperately waved to him to stop and indicated that she will come.
Bani knew that she could not take the front door, as her Mother always made their servant sleep in the Living Room, least any of her daughter get into mischief, especially the flirtatious Raashi and hence, with bravado, Bani put on her cardigan and woolen cap and leapt out of her grilles window as Ranveer stared in horrified fascination. Catching on the bark of the large Mango Tree that grew right in front of her window, she jumped onto it deftly and before Ranveer could blink his eyes again, she had sided down the tree and rushed to meet Raneer outside.
"I had no ideas that the Dixit's had kept a Monkey as a Pet." Said Ranveer, staring wide-eyed at Bani as she hit him on his ribs and he threw his head back laughing. "What the hell are you doing at this time? If my Parent's see you, they will kill you."
Ranveer laughed again and said, "No they won't."
Bani gave an annoyed look back and said, "Yes they will. Which parent would allow their daughter to meet with a rowdy at his hour of the night?"
Ranveer laughed again and said, "Not if the Rowdy and their daughter are in love."
Bani stared back at Ranveer and blushed deeply, as she stopped laughing and looking deeply into her eyes said, "You do love me Bani, isn't it?"
Bani kept looking at him and averted her eyes from him shyly as he tried to hold her but taking his hand back, said in a soft voice, "I will never bother you again, if all you think of me is as a friend and nothing else. But I need to know this, Bani. I just need to know this. I can't seem to concentrate on anything or anyone and just find myself thinking about you all the time."
Bani looked back into Ranveer's face and felt a deep surge of emotion welling inside her and after a moment's hesitation and said simply, "Do you love me?"
Ranveer kept looking at her and said in a poker-faced voice, "I guess so, else why the hell would I freeze my bums in this cold night and throw stones at your window and risk getting beaten black and blue by your Mother?"
Bani begin laughing again and shaked her head saying, "Can you never be serious in life?"
Ranveer nodded his head in a very patronizing manner and said, "That's what my Chachaji also tell meā¦so I have decided to turn over a new leafā¦for you."
Bani blushed a bit and said, "Now go before someone sees us. Even the Letter boxes chatter in our town."
Ranveer came close to her and holding her hands gently said with mischief in his voice, "Can I get a parting gift before I am bundled off from here?"
Bani asked him bewildered, "What parting gift?" Ranveer said straight-faced, "A Kiss from the girl whom I love?"
Bani went deep pink before getting a mock-serious expression on her face and said in a high and might voice, imitating her Mother, "My Ma says that a girl should save herself for her Husband and only he should have the right to touch her for the first time after Marriage."
Ranveer rolled his eyes and grinned alongside Bani and then said in a half-serious voice, "Then marry me."
Bani was staggered and she kept staring at Ranveer before saying in a haltered voice, "Stop joking Ranveer. There is a time and place for everything."
Ranveer kept looking deeply at Bani and said in a serious tone, "I am not joking Bani. Marry me."
Bani had to just give one look at Ranveer to know that he meant every word of it.
Before leaving Bani and going out of Mount Abu for a month for the Election Campaign, Ranveer jokingly told her, "Its as well that you have decided to elope and marry me. Who else would take you anyway?"
Bani had made a face and hitting Ranveer gently with her elbows and said in a haughty voice, " Ma says, a King will fall in love with me and marry meā¦and you will be left watching from a distance."
Ranveer threw his head back and said, "Your Ma forgot to tell you that if such a thing happens, then surely the King will be as mad as you are, my would be wife."
Bani had hit Ranveer continuously with her college bag till he squealed between laughter and ran away, telling her that he had put up a notice at the local court and they were to get married exactly one month from now, on the day Bani turns 18.
Bani did not wait to think even once about her decision, her mad love for Ranveer overtook everything that had held her back till now, her Parents, her Family, The Society, her own fearsā¦She did not care for anything except Ranveer and was willing to break free from anything and everything to be with the one and only man she had ever loved.
On her 18th Birthday, as Kiran made Bani wear a Sari that she had gifted, Bani felt a knot in her stomach and the feeling of guilt and fear that had been absent till now seemed to come over her, as she saw her Mother lovingly put two gold bangles each on her hands and kissing her tenderly on her forehead said sentimentally, "I don't know what I am going to do the day you get married and go away. Who will I fight, laugh and cry with, Bani?"
Bani had broken down sobbing and held onto her Mother's waist, begging silently to forgive her for the step she was taking. But she just could not help it, her love for Ranveer seemed to overtake everything and she knew that her Parents and Family would never accept someone like Ranveer as a son-in-law. The only way out was to get married and let the family know, when they would have no option but to accept him. And anyway, when has youth ever given credence to reason and rationality?
Bani stood near the steps that led upto the Law Courts of Mount Abu waiting for the man she was set to marry and live with for the rest of her 7 lives. Dressed in a simple pink colored silk Sari, her long hair left loose, the way Ranveer always liked it, she fingered her gold bangles, glancing up frequently to see his smiling face.
And then a shy smile lit her young face, as she saw Ranveer across the road on his Mobike, dressed in a White Kurta and Jeans, with a Red Tikka on his forehead. He waved across at her and threw her an enthusiastic flying kiss and she laughed gently, as her eyes moistened. The love she felt for him at this moment was so intense, she felt she could have died happily for him right there and then. As she held her breath and looked at him, blatantly criss-crossing the busy road, his eyes set on her, a speeding jeep came from the other side and within an instant, Bani's world came crumbling down. One youth was driving the jeep and the other leaned out and took an aim at Ranveer, plunging 5 bullets down his chest, one after another.
Bani stood frozen as she saw her love die inch by inch, every bullet piercing his body and he crumbled on the busy road, as the Jeep speeded off.
She did not know what happened afterwards, except that Pallavi had appeared out of somewhere and after trying to shake Bani out of her shock, all but dragged her out of the place, before anyone makes any connection between Bani and Ranveer.
Bani was in such a state of shock, that Pallavi felt it unwise to take her back home and hence took her to a close friend's house nearby and after whacking Bani hard on her face at least a dozen times, till Bani's cheeks had swollen red, she had screamed and cried at her sister-in-law, asking how could she even think of doing what she was going to do.
The rest of the day had passed in a numb daze for Bani as she got to know that Pallavi who had come to Mount Abu the same morning and on her way back from the Railway Station had noticed Bani standing at the Law Court waiting for someone. It did not take much for Pallavi to guess what it could be that Bani was waiting for and before she could have got to her sister-in-law, that shootout happened and there was a general chaos everywhere.
Bani had not cried a single drop, just sat in a numb silence, even when Pallavi had begged her to not show any emotion in front of her Parents and never breathe a word of what had transpired between her and Ranveer to anyone. As Pallavi took Bani back home, she had told Bani, "Whoever he was, he is dead Bani. Gone. He is not going to come back. You have already betrayed your Parent's and our trust by trying to take such a step, now for god sake, don't kill them by telling them the truth. You have to drink your tears, you have to hold yourself back, Bani. Promise me, you will never mention this to anyone in your life."
The local news channel were full of the day's breaking news about how a young political worker, Ranveer Tyagi had been shot dead in cold blood by some Political Rival, while he was on his way to meet someone. Pallavi thanked every God she could remember, that no one came to know who that 'someone' was. Later using her Father's influence, she had got Bani's name removed from the Wedding Register at the Court where she had got herself registered along with Ranveer. Pallavi felt assured that she had removed every trace of Ranveer from Bani's life.
Pallavi had tried every trick in the book to keep Kiran and Nishikant occupied and unknown from what had happened in Bani's life and with time had hoped that Bani will get over the shock. As if. Just because Bani had not cried one drop or taken Ranveer's name even once after his death.
BACK TO THE PRESENT
Jai stood in cold silence, holding on the parapet wall of the Terrace, the distant roar of the Ocean breaking the eerie silence that now fell like a closing wall around him.
Bani had completely crumbled down on the tiled floor of the Terrace, her eyes dead as she spoke after a mind-numbing silence, "Bhabhi asked me once if Ranveer had touched me somewhere."
Jai looked back dazed and numb at Bani as she spoke in a ghostly whisper, "She was afraid whether I had broken my sanctity and let an unknown man touch me. She asked me if Ranveer had hugged meā¦kissed meā¦made love to meā¦"
Jai kept looking with the same numb expression at her as she laughed mirthlessly and said, "He did not lay a finger on meā¦.But he touched my heartā¦he touched my lifeā¦he touched my thoughtsā¦"
Jai kept looking at her with the same eyes when she threw herself back hitting her head on the swing and almost screaming in a heartbreaking agony, cried, "HE TOUCHED THE DEPTHS OF MY SOULā¦."
Saying that she broke down crying with such heart-wrenching agony, that it killed Jai the very moment, as she screamed out Ranveer's name in deep anguish and falling with her head on the floor, kept crying hysterically.
For the first time since his death, Bani cried for Ranveer. For the man she had loved with such depths. For the man whom she could never see again. For the man whom she could never have. For the love she had found and lost in an instant.
How could anyone expect her to live and love again? A woman who had seen the brutal death of the man she loved right in front of her eyes. Bani was correct, her heart and soul had died with Ranveer, long back. All Jai could get was the remaining part of her.
Jai kept standing for a long time, expressionless, before he went upto his wife and kneeling down, picked her up from the floor and took her in his arms, as she racked with tears, sorrow and anguish and putting her head on his chest, cried into the remaining part of the long evening.
Cheers,
MT
PS: Firstly, I would love to hear your views on what should be Jai's next step now? Should he try and accept Bani (and make her accept) with her past or should he just let go of the relationship?
For a change, I want my readers behind and my words aheadā¦hence; I am being the Bullet Train (As Guli puts it!) šHope you like the updates coming on a regular basis and don't feel submerged under too much of it!
If some or all of you find that Ranveer's character has been put on a pedestal, then please do note that the whole flashback sequence is being narrated from Bani's POV and she is talking about her love and loss and hence the 'Hero' like effect that has been given to Ranveer!š
The whole flashback sequence in the Movie, Mouna Raagam on which my FF is based (Oh, alrightā¦copied!) had a wonderful narrative when the Heroine recalls her past to her husband. Try as I might, I can never recreate the Boyfriend's effervescence and youth in my words and have tried whatever little I could to write Ranveer's character effectively! I wished I could have written some more and given depth to the relationship shared between Ranveer and Bani, but was quite at a loss to describe any more and hence you might not be able to really feel Bani's pain! That is my failing entirely, btw!
And now the good news, the story from present moment will be different from the one in the Moviešā¦So all those who have seen it and know the story (That is about half the forumš) can have a bit of a surprise and something new to look forward to! Its not as if I didn't like the way the second half of the movie was handled, but I just wanted to write it differently, putting across the Husband's POV and how he looks and feels about the whole crap situation that he is in along with his wife! (Basically just to give myself more opportunity to demi-godify Jai!š³)
Yes, I have copied bits and parts of dialogues and situations from some other movies too, no need to bleat out if you find the same! Just putting a PM to me will help!š š
I am enjoying writing this FF all the more, cause almost everything in it is unoriginalš¤ and I don't have to rack my brain too much to write it! Just find the correct words and expression's!š³
I want to thank Somali, Docsleepy, Khushboo and Watsomamu for their invaluable contribution in reviewing the update before I posted it on the forum! And to all my readers, thank you very much for enthusiastically participating in the story and moving alongside it!š
Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai
