What a lovely title I must say a title with a lot of mysteries...mm mm. ..I was definitely left confused 😳... let me just say that I am sorry for the late reply... but I must say with so many mysteries I am left spoilt for what to say... so please find below comment on the chapter below... before I write anything fabulous update as usual ⭐️
Razia, you are my friend now. I don't get it, why are you even apologising? Why are you always apologising anyway? 😛
(Umm.. the above line will make a bit more sense once you have read Chapter 10.. hehe).
But really, the sheer awesomeness of your comments amply makes up for any delay, so no apologies required! 😳
Chapter 9
Of amicable settlements and blossoming friendships
After reading the last chapter let me just say I was stuck for words when it came to this chapter and the significance of its journey on the lives of our sahir and arzoo...I must say I had to read read it about a dozen of times before I could really get to grip with what you were trying to relay to us... If you get what I mean 😉...☺️
Aww, that's very sweet of you! I'm glad you are so closely connected with their journey!
Looking at the title above of the journey let me just say I was yet again surprised how you are able to deliver such a love message within such a small sentence... as I read the title I instandly thought ah our saaz are finally going to be friends or something is going to happen that is going to start there journey to an ever lasting friendship... I see that after there journey or shall I say arzoo careful evaluation of sahir needs we have step into there journey were they both will need to come and realise that what they need is each other...like the previous chapter suggested arzoo knew that sahir was alone and that he needed the companionship of a female friend... like you had put it then he "needed to let someone in..."...well after I read the last chapter I was left wondering if he would let someone in...
It is only testimony to the depth of your analysis, that just with a few words, you are able to instinctively gauge what is to follow, and connect it what you were able to interpret from the previous chapters! Thank you - you are truly a writer's delight!
Let me just say the tiltle above helped clear all the confusion I had before reading the chapter as the word "amicable settlement " suggests it's what one feels when a desire arises to maintain relations or truly seek a state of peace that one can feel content with...
Indeed! Also, Sahir's dealing with the whole Zeenat situation can also be interpreted as an amicable settlement of sorts.
My dear let me just say I could see that sahir was starting to show those signs during his dinner with zeenat...like you said...
"He forced himself to smile politely, even as he began to feel increasingly irritated by her pushiness and artificiality. This was all Arzoo's fault. If only she had come to the dinner as well, it may have been a less painful experience. He had a niggling suspicion that this may well have been a deliberate ploy of hers to irritate him. It would not be the first time. He could just picture her laughing to herself in her room as she imagined his discomfort. She knew, after all, how awkward he generally was around people anyway, and having to fend off someone with a potentially romantic interest in him was an even more arduous task. Something told him that she would have foreseen this. And that 'something' was quite possibly that impish glint in her eyes when she had said that she would not be able to join them for dinner. He should have known. Typical Arzoo!
"Who are you thinking about?" Zeenat interjected.
"Arzoo," he blurted out without thinking.
Zeenat's face fell, "Arzoo? The intern, you mean?"
He could tell from the look on her face, that she had misunderstood his answer.
"No," he said hurriedly, "Not in that way. I was just wondering if she is okay, because she was unwell yesterday. We are just colleagues, and... friends, kind of... I don't know. I mean, it's not what you are thinking. Not that I don't like her. I do, but it's just, not in that way."
"Oh, I see," she replied, unconvinced, and after a few moments of icy silence, she proceeded to change the subject to a judgment on that had been handed down by the Supreme Court on the previous day.
To be honest, he was not quite convinced by his own explanation himself. If anything, Arzoo was the closest anyone could get to the kind of companion he had once craved for, during the time when he had not yet persuaded himself that there was nothing lonely about solitude. She could read his silences, and he felt that he could read hers too. For some reason, they just connected in a way that defied all rational explanation. Oh, Arzoo was quite possibly his "type," but of course, he was most certainly not the type to chain himself down in the suffocating shackles of relationships, nor was he the kind who would be able to be a good partner to somebody, for he was far too broken to bring the required reassuring stability to somebody else's life.
Yet he could not deny that she was a breath of fresh air in his stifling life, she was sunshine, she was happiness and hope, so much so, that the very idea that they were perhaps friends brought solace to him. He could not deny that he had grown so fond of her that her absence rendered him uneasy and restless. Just as it did then, as he sat across the table from Zeenat, sombrely discussing the judgment, his thoughts jumping back to Arzoo ever so often. "...
I know before you say it...let me just say that this was the highlight of the chapter for me...I could feel sahir confusion and like his usual self he had decided that to tackle this beast or shall I say zeenat he had to go back to his usual self of apply logic to deal with emotions... However as I read further I understood that the barriers of success, logic and power has been driven by the emotion of fear...After all reading through the chapter it showed that sahir harboured a desire to be successful which he craved due to his family... I must say it all made sense why he was so defence at the start of the ff when arzoo discussed the divorce case and he came across all defenceless after all he has come from a broken home... as I read I could see that with zeenat he saw that the woman desired what he had built but with arzoo I got the understand that she wished for him to be the better half of himself to be the true sahir he was meant to be... I feel that while he sat across the table he was at peace with the fact of realising what arzoo meant to him... I know he knew that zeenat would be hurt by his behaviour but I enjoyed that he had been honest with her from the start... I guess in your ff we have to give zeenat the credit of being the cupid of bring our saaz together... well at least she helped sahir see that he not only enjoys arzoo company but he may even secretly desire it...
There is so much to love in what you said above 😃 Firstly, I am glad you liked that bit and were able to read between the lines to understand Sahir's state of mind. Also, I loved the fact that you remembered their discussion of that divorce case. There was a lot that was suggested in that moment that I did not make explicit then. Arzoo's insistence at the time was also influenced by her experiences. I also really liked how you understood the difference between Arzoo and Zeenat. In some way - a way not yet fully understood by Sahir himself - Arzoo has become indispensable and irreplaceable. And Zeenat definitely had a role to play in helping him to begin to understand that. I did not want her to be a very obvious Cupid, because it might have seemed unrealistic, but she was a tad bit Cupid-like in her own little way anyway 😳
Like I have said before stability doesn't necessarily have to come from a stable income or even a stable identify... It can come from the most unlikely of sources and emotions...your ff which has been built upon pain...betrayel shall I say by loved ones or ones we thought were our own... I see that both sahir and arzoo find it hard to identify that they have been hurt along the way but I feel that there pain of being emotional abandoned will be the key of there coming together...I somehow believe that there pain will be there key to gaining peace...
Oh that is such a beautiful way of putting it! Their pain being a key to gaining peace.. lovely indeed!
Like you said sahir did not understand why they connected but they somehow just did...well I think that the connection has to do with being betrayed by the one that they loved the most... He his mother and arzoo her husband... I know what she was not left but she had been abused emotional by her husband and then left to deal with the scars that he had given her on her own just like sahir... They say that with time all scars or wounds heal but I don't think that being betrayed can be cured so easily but like you said in your ff people can built another double life...another side of oneself there "alter ego..." as you put it a few chapters back...I see know that both had been able to take control of there societal responsibility and helped create a niche that people could identify with but what they had lost was what they hoped to achieve... arzoo the hope to be loved and our sahir to be loved by the people that gave birth to him... well all they really desired was to be loved which I believe is what they truly felt at peace with if they had received it at the start...
Well said, once again! It takes one to know one. They perhaps cannot be healed unless they find their pain mirrored in another person, because in the connection that ensues, as well as the desire to heal the other, they are able to find their own path to recovery. Their coping mechanisms of creating walls either around themselves (as is the case for Sahir) or within themselves (Arzoo) does not really help, because it is only if they find the courage to face and engage with their own pain that they will be able to truly find that sense of peace.
I see that the hope of Peace a settlement of recovery has been started by sahir his step by forming a friendship with arzoo...I see that his barrier has been slowly removed with his process of recovery after all I think that he sees arzoo as a person whom can restore his faith and believe in others..like you said she was his breath of fresh air in his otherwise robotic excistance which zeenat admired but he didn't desire...
Very true! Sahir is ahead of Arzoo in that way. He has taken more steps towards her than she has been able to. And perhaps that is what will give Arzoo the courage she requires to begin to let him in slightly as well. Liked your interpretation of Zeenat's feelings as well.
Thanks for giving us a light moment after when he went back to meet arzoo... I see that his mind had not shifted away from her even when he was with someone else... I loved the way that he found it so natural to go to her...its like he was letting the inner demon be silent and was letting his uncertainy lead the way or shall I say he was letting his heart guide him rather then his brain...
Haha.. yes, finally, he begins to let his heart do the talking to some extent!
can I just say I enjoyed the way you compared both arzoo and zeenat...like sahir said "the twinkle didn't reach her eyes when she smiled unlike hers..."...Mimms I see that sahir can see the gesture that arzoo throws his way... I love the way that he is able to identify her honesty through her actions and her love and worry for him...mm mm I see that he found zeenat to be cold...or maybe does she remind him of something in his past..maybe his mum?...I am confused...Please can you shed a light on this soon...
Well, to be honest, I did not really intend to have Zeenat remind Sahir of anyone in particular. You can interpret it that way if you like of course. My reading of his encounter with Zeenat, however, was that it was a reminder of the fact that most people understood him in a very superficial way (because of the restrained way that he is), and that there has only been one person who seems to have been able to understand some of the layers that he has within his self. That being said, your take makes sense as well. As for the mother, the next chapter (chapter 11) will be mostly about her, so perhaps that will answer some of your confusion.
I see that during this dinner we get to see the same old cold sahir a man that calculates his moves according what the person in front of him is demanding... as I reflected on his self thought about his parent I got the impression that he believed that he was somehow to be blamed for there separating... I see that he believed that his exsistance was the cause or possible the cause to the fracture in his parent relationship...Please let me know if I got this wrong?... and I felt that as he looked at zee at he felt like he was going to make that same mistake again that they did and was not willing to go through it...
Like I said, Sahir's past and his thoughts thereon will become clearer in chapter 11, but yes, you are quite right. To some extent he blames himself, not necessarily for the fact that his parents got separated, but for the fact that he was not enough to bond them to each other. And yes, seeing their relationship falter has made him doubt on the possibility of long-lasting commitment. His faith in the institution of marriage has been affected somewhat, to the extent that he feels like it is inherently a mistake to even embark upon the journey of marriage, because it is perhaps doomed to failure. And he knows, as the child of a broken home, of the pain that such failures cause to all those involved. It is something that he fears more than he is able to admit.
He I must say made me laugh when he said I am married to my work...what a clich for a guy to say sorry love but your just not my type... I know ow your pretty but still...I must applaud you for this hema what lovely writing and cosistancy again...👏
Hehe, thank you!
I must say I enjoyed there banter after the dinner and the whole ikhlass picture was a nice touch to the chapter..I lived the way that you have carved a image ofor our romeo...😛
I loved that he used the excuse of work to go and meet his new friend arzoo but what he was really doing was being himself and be free with his friend to simply have the pleasure of being himself...I see that he felt drained from his meeting with zeenat...I enjoyed this part below because it reminded me of what they have been able to build with there faith in each other... like the quote below suggests.. There power to build a lasting friendship...There lines below signify this well...😊
"..."Don't even dare," she replied, "you do know I have the Bar Exam to take in order to qualify as a barrister. I cannot allow anything to distract me from my studies."...
Although she had feigned an unfelt smile, she had been unable to disguise that catch in her throat, but he pretended not to notice the change in her composure as he said, "You will definitely pass your exams, you should not be worried about that at all."..."...
I liked the fact that you characterised it as "the pleasure of being himself." It is a relief indeed to let go of his guard, albeit for a little while. You caught onto it pretty well!
I loved the way that sahir became all protective and that he carefully evaluated the situation before he reponsed...I loved the way that his logical approach help him restore arzoo faith...I see that he didn't wish to dwell on her weakness but wished to show her that he was there... I could see that he was trying to meet his end of maintain the relationship...His part of giving arzoo reassurance or shall I say peace was by making her wear his coat... I think not only was that symbolic because it showed he let her in but it showed that he also desires her to succeed and that he believe in her...His faith is symbolic through his friendship which he doesn't know yet will Help arzoo get rid of her demons her secrets ...If you get what I mean...😕
I do get it! And you are very right. Given that the gown means so much to him, the fact of placing it around Arzoo is kind of like sharing with her, a part of himself that is very personal.
The line below says that beautifully "..."You really think so?" she gasped, her eyes poring into his, with an air of yearning that caused his own heart to ache with anguish.
"I don't lie, and I would never lie to you, Arzoo" he stated, matter-of-factly. "Come with me. I want to show you something."
He brought her into his hotel room, and placing his own lawyer's gown around her shoulders, he walked her to the full-length mirror, and stood behind her.
"Advocate Arzoo Nawsheen Khan, all you need in order to succeed, is to picture yourself as having already succeeded. Imagine yourself having cruised through those exams, and standing with your head held high, as you take the oath of office and pledge to uphold the dignity of the profession. There is nothing standing in the way of you and your dreams. You are almost there. You have tremendous potential and I believe in you."
Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at herself, and then up at him. His hands were still lightly placed on her shoulders and he slowly spun her around and flicked away with his thumb the tears that had rolled down her cheeks.
She closed her eyes as she said, in a strangled whisper, "I want to, but I find it difficult to study, to focus. There is so much on my mind. I feel like I'm drowning and there is no escape."
He felt his breaths being ripped away from his lungs as he saw the misery and despair etched on her face.
"There is an escape, Arzoo," he said softly, cupping his palms around her face tenderly, "I am there, and if you feel like sharing, you can -"
"I can't," she sobbed, and he felt his heart weighed down by the pain in her voice.
"It does not have to be today," he said gently, as he withdrew his hands away from her face and stepped back, suddenly conscious of their proximity, "Whenever you feel ready, just remember that I... I am... I am your friend and I will always be there for you."
This line was equally surprising because it showed the burden and the longing he felt of being her friend...I see that the the gesture overshadowed his logical thinking and secretly showed what he truly felt... I felt like he was worried that she may see what he secretly desires...He doesnt want to admit that he finds her company conferting and still uses the excuse of work to be her friend...It must have have been hard for him to let her in like that...
And yes, the logical thinking has been overpowered indeed. You hit the nail right on the head! it is not an easy thing to do, but at the same time, it is a feeling that it too strong to ignore.
haha I see he still trying to be logical but I am sorry to say sahir that once a your someone friend there pain and there happiness can cloud any reasonal judgements...
I loved the way that he just said with a right that ...
"You can call me Sahir. We are friends now, aren't we?" he said, returning the smile..."... showing her that she was his friend and confirming that they had managed to form this alliance...
"Sahir," she echoed, and gazing deep into his eyes, as she continued, "I am glad we are friends. You are a good person."..."
The above only confirms that they have let each other in and that both are ready for the next part of there journey to begin as friends... wonder what that will bring?
Yes, they have taken the first step and opened a door to what is to follow :) As for what is to follow, don't we all know.. hehe 😉
I see that his faith and that his honesty has helped arzoo relax and feel free and somewhat reassured... I must say that whole exchange above was both emotional and romantic at the same time... as I read future it made me even 😭...
As I read the above it somehow reminded me of the time when sagittal had met the bhaba at the dargha...I remember it well that he had been told he would find out one day what he seeked and today I see what he seeks his arzoo happiness...I guess that he has become somewhat protective and even defensive when it comes to her pain and worries...I see that he is breaking away from all his self destructive rules... its good to see that he considered and interpreted what he thought arzoo should hear...I see our sahir was not being logical this time though matter of facts that society tells him it's the right thing to do but instead followed what his heart was telling him... I see his desire to see that she was okay was far greater then is own insecurities...
I loved the fact that you connected his behaviour back to his experience at the dargah. I am sure you would have remembered that the Baba would have hinted at the fact that all he had to do was to allow himself to just.. be himself. He has begun to act in a more intuitive and heartfelt way, and in that sense, the path to his recovery has truly begun.
May I say that you have both beautifully built there friends bit have also laid the foundations of there love story...If sahir has gotten so emotional by her silence through her unsaid words...wonder what he will be like when he finds our about arzoo past and vise versa... I must say this gesure was simply lovely and the real highlight of the chapter... I can finally say that both truly are friends...
I loved that he removed his own fears and focused on arzoo...truly I was left wondering what he was thinking at the time as he stood behind her and what he felt when he felt her...wonder what arzoo felt...well I guess for that I will have to read the next chapter...
Hehe.. exactly! I think that by focusing on each other, rather than themselves, they will indirectly begin to heal their own selves... if that makes any sense.
Thank you for the emotional rollercoaster.. I see that there journey of opening up has begun and I see that barriers are dropping... wonder what they will be like when they realise that they have fallen for each other...yea they can deny all they want but secretly we know that they both wish to be with each other even if they have not realised it yet...
Aww! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the chapter and the story in general. I cannot tell you just how touched I am by the fact that you engage so closely with every tiny little bit of the story and take the time to comment in such a detailed way. You are amazing, truly.
Sorry for the long review. ..but like I said at the start I was unsure of what to say...but can I say that as I read the line about sahir thinking of arzoo the song "ek larki dekhi to aisa lagha..."...yes a clich song but I just felt that it suited his situation...
Phir sorry? 😆 Lovely song, I agree... it fits in beautifully!
Well on that note I look forward to reading more...and lol trust me I won't get bored so easily...😊 happy writing..
Take care raaz
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
O Humnava Tum Dena Saath Mera
Anupamaa
Arjun
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