OKAY MANAGED TO GET TIME AWAY AND SCRIBBLED THIS DOWN. SORRY FOR THE DELAY BUT I WILL TRY AND UPDATE ANOTHER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GOOD WISHES AND HOPE YOU ENJOY LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
Raman looked at her and he could see
the struggle of emotions she was going through with every word he had said and
it worried him a little that this was going to back fire. But then he felt her
hold his hand tighter every time she cried and he knew in that moment that the
walls had completely cracked down and all they needed was just a little push
and they would come crumbling down
' Ishita... Feel this...'' Said Raman
as he took her hand put it on his chest feeling his heartbeat
'Can you feel that? It is beating for
you. It is yearning for you to just feel it and give it rhythm.'' He said
before he took a deep breath and said
''I love you...'' He finally managed
to let it out surprising not only Ishita but himself
''Despite the fact that I have tried
to deny it over and over it still won't change the fact that it is you that I
love, it is you that I want. I probably never realized how empty I was until I
met you.'' Said Raman
Ishita just looked at him and didn't
say a word as she was too shocked to even respond. She never thought that this
was even possible, I mean yes they played around but not in a million years did
she ever think that he would fall for her. Raman Kumar Bhalla was in love with
her.
'Ishita all I am asking of you is to
please let me be there for you. I am not asking for anything in return, hell I
am not even asking you to love me but rather all I want is to please just let
me be what you have so selflessly been for my children and me, all I am asking
is to please give me your pain. You do not have to carry it alone anymore, YOU
HAVE ME. '' Said Raman to an extremely shocked Ishita
Ishita was going through a hurricane
of emotions, she was so scared of telling him about her past and yet she was so
happy with what he had just said to her. What if he was...it suddenly hit her
'Raman you do not have to just say
that because you want to kno...'' She tried to say but got interrupted
'Do not insult me Ishita please. Do I
look like the kind of person who would play with your emotions just to get what
I want?'' he said
'No it is just that why now, what
changed, this wasn't the plan. It was not this simple. We divorce in 8 months
Raman and I can tell you my past is not a territory I want you in because it is
far from what you are imagining. It is complicated. What happens when the contract ends'' Ishita managed to say
though the tears
'Screw that contract, i wouldn't care less about that stupid contract and about the complications, then uncomplicated it. If you want me to remarry you then say the word and I
will do it in a heartbeat. I can take care of that like that.'' Said Raman
'I don't... Raman please... I am...'' Said Ishita holding her head and confused
'Do you love me'' Said Raman still holding Ishita's
hand
'It is not that simple...'' Ishita said
'Do you love me...'' said Raman
'Please just forget all...'' said
Ishita
'Do you love me? It is either you do
or you don't...'' insisted Raman
'Yes I do. I love you very much, More
than you can imagine but ...'' said Ishita as she began to cry
A smile crept up his face as he saw how honestly she spoke, how it felt to actually hear her say it. But right now he had to put that aside and just get her to trust him.
'Then let me in. I can handle it you
do not have to worry just please let me in...'' pleaded Raman
Ishita looked at him and started to
cry terribly and he with everything in him just wanted to hold her and make her
feel better but he understood that this was a choice she had to make on her
own. So him holding his breath had laid everything out and the ball was in her
court it was going to be her call. It was either she trusted him enough to let
him know or she didn't. There was no two ways about it.
Ishita stood up from where Raman was
sitting and walked across the room with all sorts of emotions. She was elated
because he said he loved her but then she was also scared because she wondered
what if he left after... But she turned and looked at him as he looked right back
at her and she just fell head over heels all over again.
She could see it had taken a lot out
of him to say whatever he had just told her and he was clearly wearing his
heart on his sleeve begging her to love and trust him. It was the least she
could do, she had to take a leap of faith and hope that he loved her more than
the past.
Raman watched her and when she stood
and walked away his heart began to quiver because he thought she was never
going to trust him enough to tell him anything. He took a deep breath and just
gave up only looking back up and she was staring at him. She looked at him and
tears started rolling down her cheeks and he could tell she was worried but
didn't say a thing. Then all of a sudden he heard her say
'My mother was an orphan who really
didn't have anyone. So she would work as a house help cleaning and washing clothes
in different houses just to survive. She managed to get a job of a house help
in the Khan Mansion and she had worked there since she was 16 years old. And it
was really good because she got a roof over her head and a hot meal every day.
Even if the work was too much at times she didn't care because she was safe.
She had worked there for two years when the elder son of the house came back
from abroad, Rajeev Khan...''
'Wait a minute, the Rajeev Khan...''
Said a shocked Raman
'Yes, that Rajeev Khan! He and my mom
started having an affair which resulted into my mom getting pregnant. Mrs. Khan
was levied and angry at my mom when she found out that she was pregnant with
Rajeev's child. She tried to pay my mom to get rid of me; it didn't work so she
threw my mom out. My mom told Rajeev about it and he promised her that he would
take care of it and that he would talk to his parents and they would get
married...'' she said but then go interrupted by Raman
'Wait wait wait are you telling me
that your father is the Rajeev Khan, one of the top five richest men in Asia,
that Rajeev Khan...'' he asked again, shocked to his wits
'Yes, Rajeev Khan is my father...''
answered Ishita
'So does this mean that you are...''
said Raman
'Aabha Khan, yes! My real name is
Aabha Khan but I changed it to Ishita Iyer...'' she said as she tried holding
back the tears in her eyes.
Raman wanted to ask why she had
changed her name but decided against it and just waited as he figured if she
had decided to open up to him, she would tell him everything in her own time
'He got a place for my mother to live
and be safe while he tried to smooth things over with his family. All was good
for a couple of months up until my birth. When his mother found out about me,
she was angry and wanted to make her pay for not listening and also the
disrespect as my mother refused to abort me. She couldn't see her son marry a
'low class girl'' so she came to the hospital and told my mother to either
leave or she would take me away from her. My mother told my father about it and
he promised her he would come and fix everything but he never did. She instead
saw on the news as he announced his engagement to another woman. She then
realized that she was betrayed and was left to fend for herself.'' Said Ishita
as she rubbed the tears that were uncontrollably rolling down her face
'We left and we moved to Lucknow
after a while because it just became too difficult to leave in Mumbai. She
managed to get a small place to stay and somehow we survived. It was actually
pretty good because I had her and she had me and we were enough for each other.
But then all that changed. When I was 7years old she became very ill and given
how low on money we were, she couldn't afford to go to the hospital. She tried
to stay strong and I tried Raman, I really tried to take care of her, I did. I
did everything in my power but nothing could help. She eventually died. There
was nothing I could do...'' Said Ishita as she broke down and started to cry
almost as if blaming herself for it.
Raman came forward to where she was standing
and took her hand in his as he led her to the seat hoping to give her the
strength to continue and it worked
'I thought my world had come to an
end and nothing could possibly happen that would be worse than that, but I was
wrong. The owner of the place threw me out because well there wasn't going to
be any payments from me or anything and so I left. Stayed on the streets for
about 2 months and that is when I met Jai's mother...'' she said pausing almost
as if trying to gather strength to continue
Raman felt so bad because he couldn't
believe there was more suffering to this story than what she already had to go
through at such a tender age. He looked at her as she held back her tears as
she continued
'She was very sick Raman, she was so
weak, frail, and so heartbroken it was so sad to see the way she lived her
life. Jai had to endure a lot you see, he had been through a lot and when we
lost her I was all he had. You know her story was somewhat similar to my mom except
she found the worst possible person to fall in love with. Before she died I had
promised her that I would take care of Jai like he was my own brother and it is
a promise that I have lived by since. Jai was only 6 years old then and it was
hard...'' She said wiping the tears that had started rolling down her face again
'What about Jai's dad, wasn't he in
the picture.'' Said Raman
'Jai's mother had an affair with a
married man and that was Jai's dad and maybe like the old clich she hoped he
would eventually leave his wife for her but she couldn't have been far from the
truth. He was married to one of the most ruthless woman in India. Anita Chandra
also known to many as Ms. Tee...'' said Ishita as she remembered meeting her for
the first time
'Wait wait wait you are telling me
that Jai's step mother was the ...'' said Raman but Ishita interrupted
'Child trafficker yes, When she found
out the woman her husband was having an affair with and the fact the they had a
child together, she saw that as the worst possible disrespect and she couldn't
have her men and her workers see her weak so she killed Jai's mother. She put
the house on fire Raman. I can still hear her screams as she cried for help. '
said Ishita as she broke down completely in sobs and started to cry
Raman had tears in his eyes as he
watched Ishita fall apart in front of him. He felt so bad and couldn't even
imagine how the hell someone would have the heart to do such a thing. He didn't
know how to even comfort her; he didn't know what to say to her
'There was nothing we could do except
just watch. I tried to run and get her out but some men held me back and there
was nothing I could do. How could I explain to a 6 year old that someone burnt
you mother, how the hell was that conversation supposed to start. Even I was
just a child'' Ishita added as she continued to cry.
Raman watched as Ishita broke down in
tears and tears started flowing from his eyes as well because he could see her
relieve those moments with every word she spoke and it broke his heart to know
that she had gone through all this. He wanted to just hold her and tell her
everything was okay now but he knew better than to do that. He had to be her
strength and the only thing he could do was just hold her hand and be that.
He figured she was gathering as much
strength as she could and thought if he came to comfort her she would just lose
control and maybe fail to say any further, something he wasn't willing to risk.
'That woman knew how to hurt you and
break you down to a point of no return. We were left with nothing and Jai's
father, the idiot just turned to alcohol and drugs. He lost the will to fight
for his own son and that made him a coward in my eyes. And that came with its
problems as well. Madam watched as her husband slowly perished away because of
the death of his mistress that she became more vicious. So she made him an
offer, he was to sell Jai and let him move to the compound as her worker or she
was going to kill him. That idiot didn't fight for his son. With everything he knew
about her he would have brought her down single handedly but he opted for the
easier and worst option and so he exchanged Jai's life for his. If it was me I
would have gladly died because Ms. Tee was a lot of things but if there was
anything I liked about her was her ability to keep her word no matter how bad
it would have been for her, she would have made sure Jai was okay.'' Said
Ishita holding her hand in a fist
'I couldn't
watch as they took him away so I made an offer. I told her I would work for her
until I had earned enough to get Jai out of there. At first she was hesitant
and her men beat me up pretty nice for speaking while madam spoke...'' she added
throwing her hands in the air and making air quotes
'But when she saw I didn't barge, she
said she liked my spirit and stupidity but none the less she agreed and that is
how I ended up in her compound as a worker for Ms. Tee...''She let out a small
laugh as she remembered the whole thing
'She called us, 'my little slaves'' We
were about six children in that compound excluding her children. All of us had
tattoos to mark us as hers and no one was ever allowed to kidnap us or even touch
us without her permission. But all her children were not marked and in a weird
way even Jai wasn't which was bizarre because she hated him. Anyway, we moved
to the compound and that is the day I met her two children, Myra and Tarish''
She said before she turned to look at him almost as if to read his reaction
before she added
'Tarish was her first born, apple of
her eye and he would do anything to be like his mother while Mayra, she was everything
good about her mom. It was like God took the entire goodness out of this woman
and put it in her daughter. She and I became really good friends over the years
in fact she saved me from starving a number of time'' she could see he had this
look and she knew he wanted to ask her something
'You can ask me...'' he suddenly heard
her say
'Is Mihika...'' he suddenly stammered
scared to complete his question
'Is Mihika Mayra... ' She completed
the question and he just nodded but then Ishita just kept quiet and walked to
where the window was
'So is she...'' asked Raman walking
over to where Ishita was now standing
'Yes, she is Madam's second Child and
no one knows this except me, Jai, her and Abhimanyu. This is the one secret I
am asking you to keep Raman. Please before I go any further you have to promise
me that no one ever gets to find out about this, not even your family...'' Said
Ishita as she turned to look at him
'I promise I won't. Whatever you are
telling me here no one is going to know, I swear on my life.'' He said
She looked at him almost as if she
would get some reassurance to his promise. Raman knew she needed it so he just
stayed there looking straight into her eyes as honest as he could be.
'Okay, I will hold you to that and
trust you.'' She said
'So what happened next...'' he asked
'I moved into the mansion and stayed
in the outhouse with the rest of the workers. It was good for a while, I mean
not good but I it was okay, I did my work and all while Jai, Tarish and Mihika,
I mean Mayra got to grow up in the main house, we called it the mansion while
the rests of us got the outhouse, which was a fancy word for the stable. We
worked from morning to the evening at the farm while in the afternoon we parked
her drugs or were locked in the back green room to count her illegal money. It
was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.'' She said as she suddenly
became cold in her demeanor as if trying so hard to show that what she was
talking about didn't really affect her.
'Her farm... I am not sure I get it...''
said Raman
'Well yeah it was a farm, quite big
actually but in the middle there was a plantation of Cannabis, you may know it
as marijuana. This is what all we kids were to take care of. Some would work
there others would work on the actually packaging...'' she said as she walked to
the table next to the bed and took a glass of water doing everything to gather
as much strength as she could
'It wasn't easy to work there,
actually most kids preferred the money room because there was less beating
there. At the farm you had to work for you life and make sure the hours you
were given were fulfilled. It didn't matter whether you were ill or not, all
that mattered that you did your work, and well too otherwise you didn't get to
be fed. When you grew up to around age 16 you were then promoted to sales or
you were sold or disappeared or in more understandable terms, got killed'' She
again grabbed the glass of water her hands shaking and Raman could see it.
He flinched folding his hand into a
fist as he couldn't believe what kind of human beings could think of doing this
to a child. They were animals and if he got his hands on them he would kill
them. He looked at her and wondered what she had to endure and how scared she
must have been, how she even survived all this and all the while she was still
a very young girl. How much more could she seriously go through?
'You know the beating I didn't mind,
it was all good as long as Jai got to be okay I was fine. Sometimes Mihika
sneaked in drugs for me and took care of my wounds but after a while I just
asked her to stop...'' said Ishita gulping down another glass of water
'Why...'' asked Raman confused
'Well her mother hated betrayal and
helping the help was seen as that. So with every wound she tried to treat, she
would get to watch me get two more, It was turning out to be very painful not
only for me but even her, So I asked her to stop.'' Said Ishita turning to look
at Raman
Raman by this point was in tears and
Ishita could see him desperately trying to hide his them and desperately
failing. He thought about all the pain she had to endure; now he understood why
she burst into tears sometimes, it made sense. It was so unreal how someone
could go through so much pain as she did
' How much worse can it really get''
he suddenly asked
' Well after a few years you kind of
got accustomed to it. I mean you may never really get used to the pain but then
again you cry until you can't really cry anymore so you kind of get used to
just being empty, you know like an empty shell or a zombie. Anyway that was
that and I honestly didn't think it would get worse but then Jai got sick and
everything completely got shattered...''
Fifteen years ago
******************************************************
CHAPTER THIRTY NINE; SCROLL DOWN
Edited by Khuarnav - 9 years ago
comment:
p_commentcount