NEW ASHLOK FICTION : GUILTY Chapter 29page 140 - Page 58

"I'm sorry if I'm rushing you in to things. I know it's not easy to just forget everything and move on. But I want you to know I'm there for you. I don't want you to think that you're alone. For as long as I'm alive you'll never be alone" saying he just pressed her head onto his chest gently. "After all I'm Det. Shlok Loveyouhotri right"

"Are you angry with me? She asked

"No. I told you that I'll give you the time and I meant it. Please don't take too long. I might not be able to hold on to the plank for long either. It might be too late" he said

"You'll leave me" she asked him

"Jack slipped into the water even though Rose was holding on to him right. You're not holding my hand even. So I have More chances of slipping..." He didn't get to finish the sentence. Her lips silenced him. "Why do you always talk about dying" she asked in between her kisses.

"Hazards of the job. in the past two years I've lost four of my colleagues. So you'll never know when my number will be called upon" he said getting very serious.

"Please take me home" she said getting up from his lap.

"What happened" he asked her getting worried. And he saw the tears in her eyes.

He pulled her back on to his lap. She resisted but he wasn't one to let go that easily. She fell back on to him. She didnt look at him. Kept her face down. He felt warm tears drop on to his t-shirt. He lifted her face and Made her look At him.

"Astha, I'm not trying to be over dramatic nor a jerk, but this is my reality and if you wish to hold my hand it'll be yours too. So you better get used to it"He said.

"But you promised" she said. Hugging him back. "And I'll do everything I can in my power to up hold that promise. But sometimes you can't change fate. Then I want you to be prepared"

"I won't be able to live through it. I'd die too" she said.

Just then asthas stomach growled. And both looked at each other and burst into a laugh. They were laughing through their tears.

"I thought only I was famished. You seemed to be more" he said with a smile in his face.

He got up making her sit on the couch and went upto the wardrobe and took out a pair of basketball shorts and gave it to Astha and told her "wear this. Were going to get some food. Unless you want to come looking like that or stay here alone while I go and bring."

She looked the shorts and held it infront of her and said "I'll change in to my dress" and threw the shorts back at him. She went into the bathroom and came out in a bit but still wearing his oversized sweat shirt on top.

She saw that he was looking at her. "I like the way it feels. I'm not giving it back to you" she said and hugged her self. he didn't want to admit but her childish acts made him love her more. Made him more protective of her. But he's not going to let her find out. Her innocent smiles warmed his heart from within. He felt the warmth of her presence. In the car and even in this big old warehouse.

He asked her to choose a car. And she picked the Porsche she was admiring. He even offered her to drive it. But she declined saying she's too emotional and too excited to drive.

He looked at her and smiled pulling the hoody over her head. "I feel like a fugitive. Bonnie and Clyde. Hiding from the law" he said putting a baseball cap himself.

"But Bonnie and Clyde were thieves. We didn't steal anything."

"You have! You've stolen my sanity and my heart"

"I'm so good. You didn't even realise that something has been stolen. I'm just so good at everything"

"You're like the monkey that praises it's own tail"

"For you babes, I can be anything, Jack, bull, monkey what else?" Clyde loveyouhotri at your service" he said with a curtsy.

They parked near a roadside eatery. As he was ordering he was wondering if she'd like it even. He was sure that she's never eaten even street food. When he took the food to her she wasn't very keen to try it. She said she's not hungry. "I don't want to get diarrhoea and die. I can survive one night without food"

You know what James used tell me that they use dirty water to cook the food and they wash the plates in the same dirty water"

"Said the man who was stabbed to death in his own home. How ironic is that. Astha just eat the food. If you don't want then just keep quiet and don't ruin it for me too" He made his way to the front of the car and the leaned on to the bonnet and started to eat. He could see her looking at him through the windscreen. He gestured her to try it. She just nodded her head.

He came up to her again and offered her to feed her by his hand. "Just try it, I don't want you going hungry and weak. It's good. Last chance" he said still keeping his hand held towards her. "W*F..." He took his hand back from her mouth. "There's food. Can't you go one meal with out meat?" He was sucking his finger. "Mmm... It's tasty..." She said mischievously.

She got out of the car and came towards him and opened her mouth. "What?" He asked her seeing her. He placed the plate in her hands. "Eat. You did eat on your own right? Or did your nanny spoon fed you?"

"You're very mean"

"Yeah! Babes, that's me. I'm a lean mean sex machine" he said adjusting his cap.

"Says the pretentious peasant" she said

She thoroughly enjoyed the roti and channa masala. And she was appreciating everything. The food the ride. He was amazed how much she enjoyed the simple things. Not at all like the girls he's been with and not at all like his mo...! His heart pained when he remembered how wrong he had been about her.

He asked her to sit in the car and have her tea. He joined her too. He looked at her enjoying her hot chai. She took one sip and and it burned her tounge. He watched as she tried to blow at her own tongue sticking it out. He just leaned forward and said "let me" and covered her lips with his. Then he realised that it was the first time that he initiated the kiss. He gave her a soul searing passionate kiss. He knew he can't afford to get carried away. Not here anyways. He may be a sex machine but this was not the place to prove his mettle. Not that it needed proving either. Yeah! All the women knows you're a stallion. He pulled away from her using all the mental strength he had.

"Better" he asked sheepishly

"No. It pains more." She said trying to see her tounge.

"Stop sticking your tongue out for gods sake" he said.

"Astha tell me, I want you to come back with me, but if you want to I'll take you home." He asked her.

"I'm not ready to go back. Not yet. What if they are still waiting for me? I'm sorry for all the trouble I'm causing you. I'll be gone by morning" she said apologetically.

"Now did I say that you are. You can stay here as Long as you want to. I'd be more than happy to have you stay with me. And What do you mean you'll be gone? Where will you go!"

"Why? do you think I don't have anywhere else to go?" She said with determination.

"I'm not implying anything. I just want to know. So that I know where to find you" he said.

"Goa, Dubai Delhi choices are endless" she said.

He knew she was hurting from within so he didn't pester her anymore.

They were on their way back and he caught her looking at him. Asked "what are you doing"

She said "enjoining the view"

"do you like what you see"

"I'm still not sure" she said.

He stopped the car suddenly looked at himself in the rear mirror. And said "no, still got it"

"What" she asked.

"The looks" he said with a smirk on his face.

"Oh! Mr.lovemehorti you're so full of yourself" she said pulling his cap.

"Yes. And it's all yours babes. Feel proud. All this belongs to you" he said fixing his cap and started the engine.

She just leaned towards him and kissed his cheek and said "thank you. I'm so honoured"

"You're mocking me. When I'm dead and g..." He didn't get to finish he saw her trying to open the door. He grabbed her and hit the brakes.

"Whats wrong with you? What's with this fascination with jumping off moving cars?"he said angrily

"I don't want to listen to this anymore. Do you think it's funny. Are you trying to be funny? Well for your information I'm not laughing" she said with tears bursting out of her eyes. He was totally caught off guard. He wasn't expecting her to be so upset. He realised the depth of her fear.

He tried to hold her. But she put her hand and said "no. I'm angry with you. Don't come close to me"

What are we in 5th grade or what? Whats next crossed fingers and KaThthi kaththi. But her tears hurt him much. He was trying not to feel like a total jerk. But he did. He despised himself for hurting her. He kept telling himself it was just a joke. But that didn't help.

By the time they reached the warehouse she had fallen asleep. He just sat there looking at her sleeping so peacefully. It reminded him of the the last time she fell asleep in his car. He didn't wake her up. Got out of the car through the window not wanting to disturb her. Pulled out the sofa bed. Arraigned it with a fresh sheet on top. Dimmed the lights. as he was slowly placing her on the sofa bed she woke up. She pushed his hands away. He knelt next to the bed and put his hands in his ears asking for mercy. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Please don't be kaththi with me" he said with child like innocence.

"You're laughing at my pain. My tears and my fears." She said fresh tears forming in her tears" she said looking at with him pain, fear and disappointment written all over her innocent face.

He was at her side in a flash. "Babes, I'm not. I'm just trying to be like you. I'm sorry for hurting you. Now please top the water works" Saying he just hugged her. She protested for a bit but gave in. And broke down completely in his arms. All the humiliation she faced, the pain of being falsely accused, and on top of all that his ignorance towards her fears of loosing him. Was all too much for her to bare. He held her until she stopped crying. "You're the solution for Mumbais' water woes". She giggled softly and slowly lifted her face and looked at him and said "I'm sorry for being so needy and so Emotional" she said putting her hands on to her ears.

He slowly removed her hands. She held on to him. He was very gently reducing the space between them as He traced his warm lips along the jawline and while his hands were moving as if on it's own accord.

He whispered in her ears "can I make love to you" she looked at him in bewilderment and said "didn't we already did that in your car?"

"No. That was just you devouring me" he said looking at her blushing to many shades of crimson.

"You think I'm a sl..." She didn't get to finish her sentence. He silenced her the best possible way. "Why do you always think that others think the worst of you?" He said breaking the kiss. "Thats how it's always been. Didn't you also do the same?" She asked him.

He was guilty. She was right. He felt disgusted and ashamed of himself. But what can I say? "Astha!..it's not like that" he was trying to explain to her.

"Just tell me yes or no" she said firmly.

"That's not fair. You have to give me chance to explain mysel"

"Really, did you give me the light of day to explain myself or did you even stop to think that may be it's not so. Welcome to my world. Life ain't fair. It's never been." She was venting out her frustrations.

"All my life I've been rejected, ridiculed, used, outcasted and judged. It's nothing new to me Shlok. Why should you be any different?" She asked him.

"I'm sorry I did the same mistake as all the others..." She tried to cut him in. He put his hand on her lips and said "no. Now you have to let me talk. Day in and day out thats all I see and all I hear. People selling their soul their love their life their children their future for money and lust. I didn't know you then but I know you now. I wish I knew then what I know now. Am I making any sense here at all"

"What do you know about me now that you didn't know then?" She challenged him.

"I know that you didn't get married for money. That money plays no importance to you"

"I know you're parents forced you into this marriage. They abandoned you"

"I know that you were never in it for the money"

"I know that you have endured so much pain that one couldn't even begin to imagine"

"I know that you just want someone to love you for who you are"

"I know that you have a pure heart"

"I know that you'll never betray me and one last thing that you love me. Even though you don't want to accept it yet" saying he removed his T-shirt and was reaching for his pants. "What are you doing" she asked.

"Giving you a striptease. Oprah Show is over now it's Love-Me-hotri time" saying he tossed his pants aside. She looked away. Kids just leave the room. If you can't take the heat you shouldn't have woken up the sleeping dragon"

"It's your turn."

"For what? Striptease"

"Ok if you wish. I'd be much obliged. Go on I'm waiting."

She just covered her head with the hoody. He came close to her. "Babes! Let me do the honours" he slowly removed the hoody off her head and pulled the sweatshirt off her tiny body and started removing the buttons on her dress one by one. Once she was void of any he made her open her eyes and look at him.

"Well do you still need convincing? Not happy with what you see?" He asked without any shame.

"I am"

"What?"

"Happy and like"

"happy and like what"

"What I see" she said blushing but holding her gaze.

"Ok. Then prepare to be dazzled. Enjoy being loved the Love-you-hotri way"

And he did exactly that.

They were lying in each other's embrace. "I lied" she said

"About?"

"I don't have anywhere else to go" she said with a sigh.

"Says the richest 23 year old in Mumbai"

"You don't need to go need anywhere else. When you're with me"

"Tell me one thing, how will you sleep without your cow softy" he asked trying to cheer her up.

"When I have a horny bull lying next to me why would I need that" she said with a giggle.

"Yes. Your Bull that's horny for his cow girl" he said smiling.

"Why cows?" He asked her.

"Is it so weird"

"Kinda"

"Normally girls collect teddy bears or dolls. Not black and white cows" he said.

"When I was small, I asked for a pet. Any pet. But my parents just said no. No reasons given. I just couldn't have one. When I was about twelve my sister gave me a small but fat ugly looking black and white cow softy just to mock me and said. Keep this with you this is all that you'll become. A big fat ugly cow. But I kept it with me. That fat ugly cow became my most trusted friend my only friend. I shred all my pains my dreams my fears hopes with Zulu. She kept me sane. And after I got married, when I could buy what ever I want I started collecting? You could say I went all moo moo over everything cows. James even wanted to buy me a farm in Panvel. But I didn't want to. That's how I became the crazy cow girl" she said with sigh.

His heart squeezed with pain with images of a lonely little girl sitting alone in a room holding on to her Zulu and talking. Their lives have been so similar yet so different at the same time. His heart felt heavy with love and compassion for her. For the life that she had to endure. To the outside world it looked like she was the happiest and luckiest. But in reality she was just taken from one hell to another. Just like Almeida said. Hell that looked like heaven from outside.

with everything she's been through already in her young life. Given birth and rejected and neglected. Married with promises and cheated and humiliated. She didn't deserve all this. Yet here she was still with a smile and willing to trust and give life another chance. Her resilience and faith in the goodness in people amazed him. Here he was, so bitter, angry and cynical of everything. But I'm not about her. I love her. I want to be with her. Protect her. Shield her form any pain. He really wanted to take her away from all of this.

For that he needs to prove her innocence.

Do you know the average body temperature of a cow?

WTH? You expect me to know the answer to that?

"Tell me you're not going to give me cowlogy lession"

"Well for your information it's 101.5 F"

"Only that much? I can get the mucury rising in you with just a touch"

"Really. Too bad I'm not a cow"

"But I'm your horny bull. And that makes you a horny cow. You're My horny little cow"