NEVER LET YOU GO.:
PART-25
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"am coming to you niharika" i mumbled closing my eyes with extreme bliss.
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I closed my eyes and all i could see was myself, on floor, on my knees in, sheer darkness, around. i was not sure, where actually i was! a deadly silence was hanging around.,and all of sudden, i heard jingling sound of bangles and anklets,
"NIHARIKA!" I tried to search for her, but all i could see was sheer darkness, moments passed and she was no where, tears began to roll down my eyes! I sat there, burying my head in my palms, crying for her,
seconds later, i felt someone kneeling down in front of me, i raised my head and it's her.!!!, clad in the same stunning black saree she wore that night, her face was clear, there were no bruises, and her waist long hair, she adjusted the few flocks of her hair falling on her fore head and her bangles jingled
"niharika..you came back? where have you gone?? You'll never go back again na?" i asked with trembling voice.. She just smiled and cupped my face...
"you think i had left you alone??" she asked wiping my tears, i said nothing, i was just lost, staring in to those impeccable orbs of hers...which were abode for love... pure love and nothing else
"why are you in haste to come to me? And where will you come to When i am here, with you? Can't you see me vardhan... Around you, all the day, all the night, am there always beside you!" she said caressing my cheeks!
"and i promise, i'll never ever leave you!" she kissed my forehead
"sachhi?" i smiled wiping my tears
"sachhi!" she pecked my lips and hugged me..
"i love you" i hugged her back!
"love you more mr.engineer!" she whispered..but before i could say something...i lost the sight of her i wasn't there in her arms... she's no where... she's not hugging me...she had disappeared, somewhere in the darkness...
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i tried to open my eyes as i felt a soft hand on my fore head...and i felt my body paining like hell. it was bandaged at every possibility! I could hear voices around me, but they were dreamy, i felt too drowsy to open my eyes! But somehow i did, all i could see was vartika again! I tried to speak but something that tied around my face didn't let me to do that, i fiddled it and found it to be oxygen mask.!! I felt the paining bruises allover my face! I tried hard to get back into my senses and it hurt my head, so i lied back. with i seconds, i slipped into kip,
an other week rolled by the time i opened my eyes again, this time, the pain abated A bit and i could speak then... I tried to sit as i opened my eyes only to see vartika by my side...
"I can't di" i screamed in pain holding the bandaged chest when she tried to make me sit,
"it's okay, lay back" vartika said sternly,
"what's wrong vartika" i asked as i sensed the difference in her tone
"nothing! you got your left leg, right arm and 2 left ribs fractured, multiple fractures, and few clots of blood in your head nothing more than that" she twitched her lips and averted her gaze fighting back her tears.
"vartika!! Am asking what's wrong with you. Not with my health!"
"what's wrong with me?? you are asking what's wrong with me?? Huh,.! Am sick of begging you to be alive vardhaan! Am sick of pleading you.! But you.! You just..! You don't even care for me and my feelings, right? Okay then Go..! go to hell.! I don't care" she scowled with trembling voice.
"vartika!" i lowered my voice and tried to reach for her hand.
"no! Just don't...!" she backed and dashed out of the room crying.
"di,... Vartika... Vartika... di di.." i tried to stop her but nothing worked, she barged out of the room crying. The moment she left the room, my jiju entered in with a bouquet full of roses.
"hey.! Vardhaan how are you feeling now" my jiju asked trying to cheer me up
"better now" i uttered
"what happened?" he asked.
"nothing much..what's this?" i inquired.
"oh! This one? a guy out, asked me to give this to you" he said placing that bouquet on the table beside my bed
"prof.rag??" i questioned my self in askance but my doubts were cleared when i found a note in between those flowers. I took it into my hands and it read...
"did you try to figure out how you are breathing now?? Well, how you thought that i would let you go at that ease vardhaan?? Never! You should live! You should live with the pain, you should live dying every second, every day, with every breathe you take, you deserve this hell,cause you killed her., i'll make your life hell!
Get well soon vardhaan.
Love in loads
kabir."
The note ended. I felt nothing, no tears, no fear, i was not even scared. Cause i knew, i deserve it, he was right! I had to live, live with the pain that kills me every second, live with the guilty feeling., whatsoever!! That was destiny.
Whatever was the situation I preferred to live, live with the pain, preferred to live her dream... I preferred to move on! But who said I was alone? No I was not! I was not alone! She is with me! every day i woke up, i see her smiling at me... every night i sleep, i see myself holding her hand and standing at railing, counting the stars...I could smell her in air, the jingling sounds of her anklets were still ringing in my ears! Her chirpy voice, her alluring smile, her perfect grey orbs, angelic face, never left my sight. Her lustrous, waist long hair!!! She is around me! Who said I was alone? She is with me! All the day! All the night! All the time, on the terrace, in the lab, library, every where I go she is there by my side! Who said I was alone?? She is with me and thus I preferred to move on... I was moving on...
We are moving on...
NIHARIKAVARDHAAN
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"he wasn't alone" randhir mumbled wiping his tears..
"huh?" sanyukta rose to face him
"ummm...! nothing...it ended here" Randhir ran his fingers over the paper and felt the paper wrinkled because of dried tear marks on it! And his hand sensed some fresh tears on the paper! He resumed back comprehending those tears to be his own tears! He wondered at his own reasons for crying. He took a deep breath and brushed away his tears. He checked on his watch and it showed 5 AM... Since it was a chilled winter night, and long though the sun still hadn't shown up and it was still gloomy outside... He unwrapped the blanket around him and stood up, looking at her, he felt her his that moment, they were no more distant, be it about feelings! That night revealed what was hidden in their hearts, what was sealed under hard shells they created around themselves! He said nothing his eyes were transfixed on her, he sat on the floor on his knees and gently wiped the few tears that trickled down her face with his thumb finger, it made sanyukta feel a ping in her heart, she looked up and their eyes met! She had seen something in his eyes, which she never had seen before,
"randhir! We should get out before he wakes up" her voice broke as she managed to speak, saying so she unwrapped the blanket around her, mean while randhir placed all those diaries in their proper, and sanyukta began to fold the blanket, randhir turned back to face her and was just lost in staring at her! "Why she entered my life? Am I destined to be with her? What are we up to?" several thoughts began to whirl in his mind till sanyu's gestures interrupted his thoughts and dragged him out of the trance
"Listen! We somehow need to get out of here! You search in that closet and I'll search in his wardrobe" sanyukta said to him in hushed tone. He just nodded wondering that what he would do without her, within seconds they found themselves searching each and every corner of vardhaan sir's room for the key! and finally ended up in huge sigh of relief as sanyukta found the duplicate key in the closet. Couple of minutes later they were standing outside the staff quarters facing each other and grinning at their triumph... But it was the time for them to go back to their respective rooms and thus to their normal lives again
"See you randhir!" sanyukta smiled stepping back! For the first time in the 4 years she spoke something like bidding good bye before another short meeting with him, after all, that night had changed a lot between them! As soon as she said that, randhir felt his heart heavy. His smile vanished. The sight of her stepping back away from him made his eyes moist
"sanyu" randhir mumbled and held her hand as she turned back to leave. She was startled at his act more over she was astonished to hear "sanyu" from his mouth, his voice trembled as his grip tightened. She noticed the difference in his voice and turned back to face him. Their eyes met again! But this time she read his eyes! Read those perfect alluring ashy orbs pleading her not to go away, not to leave him.
"What?" she raised her brows
"Coffee??" he asked meekly
"randhir it's 5 30 AM and canteen will remain closed now!" she said showing his watch to him, but he was deaf to her words, he didn't care! All he wants was just to be with her might be forever.
"randhir!!" she shook his hands bringing him back to World.
"Uh! Yeah... Canteen... Closed" he stammered. She twitched her lips shaking her head sideways and made a posture as if she was leaving
"No! I mean wait..! There's something I should say" he tightened his grip even more
"Hmm say" she said still her hand in his grip
"Can we go to canteen?"
"randhirrr..." she rolled her eyes...
"please" he clutched her wrist
...
CANTEEN:
randhir and sanyukta occupied the table in the deserted canteen but sat in silence! It might seem to be silent outside but inside... Randhir mind turned into a war field, he was battling with his thoughts, his feelings that are popping out of the shell he had created around, himself finally breaking it, he was trying to figure out what he actually feels for her, trying to accept the fact that his day starts with sanyukta, ends with sanyukta and of course all day passes with sanyukta! All the whilst it was only vardhan, niharika and sanyukta in his mind, must admit that randhir with sanyukta, lived in vardhaan sir's past..! Every bit of what he read, his nerves made him relate it with Him and sanyukta! They might not confess to each other but they knew they feel for each other, but right the moment when he got to know about the death of niharika... His heart was squeezed to the last drop of his blood! He cried inside as if sanyukta had left him! Cause he never want her to leave him. After all whom would he fight with? Whom would he tease? Whom he could count on? Whom he would care about and share with? If she leaves him!
Half en hour passed and still they sat in silence. Randhir was not even looking at sanyukta. His gaze was stuck to the table and he was busy in wiping the tears that were trickling down occasionally... on the other hand sanyukta was so tired and had no patience to sit there and bare that eerie silence.
"randhir am feeling drowsy am leaving now" sanyukta stood up checking on the time in her mobile, it was 6AM and the sun was raising making world face the light.. Randhir said nothing
"randhir"
"..." silence
She rolled her eyes and began to walk away Randhir raised his head only to see her walking away from him. He was dizzied. Some part of him wanted to stop her. His eyes showered... whilst all his life without her played in front of his eyes... Finally The moment when she was about to disappear behind the walls randhir spoke out
"sanyukta!" his voice shuddered. Sanyukta froze at her place and was about to turn but before she could do that randhir ran to her and hugged her as tightly as he could, crushing her bones to powder.
"randhir" she tried to free herself from his embrace
"No sanyukta let me speak! If not now, then never! Sanyukta you have to know this."
sanyukta fell silent whilst randhir continued to speak "sanyukta! All the while in vardhan sir's room reading his diary, I felt like I was seeing myself in the mirror! if this doesn't happen. If today goes like every day then I will be like him some day definitely" he tightened his grip "such a duffer sanyukta I am! Why I didn't recognize when you are around? At least Why didn't you tell me that I am loving you! You know... Its love, when I teased you, its love, when I saved you from goons, its love, when I helped you... It's love when I felt jealous about you talking to other guys... It's love, when we did all mischievous things together, it's love when we kissed, it's love when we really cared for each other... Isn't it sanyukta?? Then why didn't you tell me before... Like the way you barge into me every time when you are angry, you should have grabbed my collars and should have told me "stupid! You are in love with me!" I could have realized it that moment... It's you sanyukta... Entered my life, changed it, turning my world upside down... and now you are moving out as if nothing happened... I have to tell this now... because If not today, it will never again... I have to tell you this! That I LOVE YOU... Please don't go! I LOVE YOU SANYUKTA! I LOVE YOU!" he shut his eyes tightly and warm tears trickled down his cheeks making their way to sanyukta's shoulders.
Sanyukta felt his tears, she was Stupefied. She closed her eyes as she hugged him back, tears dribbled down her face, she felt like saying him that she loves him but something she felt had stopped her, she doesn't want that to happen, she opened her eyes, composed herself and pushed him back with all her might
"San..yu..k...ta.." randhir was dumbstruck at her act.. But was still staring at her in surprise, the warm sun rays hit her face made her face radiant, her eyes shone as tear drops streaked down her face. Her lips were trembling.
"sanyukta" he stepped forward trying to cup her face but she stepped back pointing her finger at him
"Don't you dare randhir" she said...
Randhir was baffled whilst she continued to speak. "This shouldn't happen randhir, this shouldn't happen! Why randhir? Why me? You make me fall in love with you every day, every second. You make me feel like no one did... You give me all the strength to face the world, you take me to extreme state of ecstasy, But all of sudden you leave my hand, Pushing me to never ending darkness, you behave like you don't know me! You make my heart flutter this second and the very next moment you make it hurt to the core... my heart is wailing randhir... when you help me out of every problem like more than a friend and behave like a sheer enemy the next momnent... can't you hear it... You kiss me today and you push me to marry someone else some day! You act as if you don't care... I know you love me! But..." she fell short of words all of sudden! Her face turned pale, she felt a big lump in her throat, she ran towards him and hugged him, she buried her face into his chest and she cried... Making randhir realize how stupidly he cheated on himself veiling his own feelings, randhir cried and was about to hug her back before he could do that she resumed herself back..
"I don't know randhir that loving you is this painful... Don't do this randhir! This shouldn't happen! You don't know randhir... It hurts when you leave... It kills when you behave as if you don't know me!" she paused to breathe and shoved back the flocks of her hair playing hide and seek with her face and continued to speak "But you should know this! That I LOVE YOU... I LOVE YOU RANDHIR... And this should never happen... NEVER EVER! THIS IS OVER. waise it doesn't matter randhir... i'm getting married next month... good bye forever..." she sniffed and ran to hostel crying...not even looking back... Leaving randhir shattered with every nerve of his'.
"damn! Sameer! Bloody hell..." he squeeze shut his eyes as her words remainded her how stupidly he convinced sameer to marry sanyukta...and then he was going to suffer the loss...
"i created this mess and i'll clear it farzi.!" he bagnged his fist on table.However, Finally he realized what his mistake was and what he had to do...and thus made his way to where he could get HIS SANYUKTA back to his life again
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