NEW ASHLOK FICTION : GUILTY Chapter 29page 140 - Page 28

She slowly opened her eyes, trying to familiarise herself to the surroundings. She turned to the other side of the bed. It was empty. She looked at the bedside timer to check the time. And she literally jumped out of the bed when she saw the time. It was 9.30. Of all the days today I sleep till the sun shines on my bum. What must he be thinking.

She remembered how she was last night. And now when she woke up, she was lying down properly. And she was nicely tucked in. He must've done it. Her heart warmed up thinking of him. He's not bad after all. She remembered the things that he said to her. Did he really mean all that he said? Is he really going to let me be, not make me do anything I don't want to do? She was lost in her thoughts when he entered the room.

She stood up. She got scared thinking he must be angry with her for getting up so late.

I'm so sorry! I didn't realise its so late. I promise you it will never happen again. I..."

"Astha, good morning!" He said putting his hand close to her lips. She could smell his cologne. She liked it. Not very strong, pleasant but masculine.

Astha, you don't have to apologise to me for getting up late. You can sleep as late as you want. I didn't wake you up, I mean I didn't have the heart to wake you up, you were sleeping so blissfully. Nicely tucked in like a baby. Don't fret it. This is your home. You can do and live as you please. I just want you to be happy always. Ok" he said with such sincerity that she wanted to cry. For the first time in her life someone is telling her she can do what she wants and cared about her happiness.

She just stood there unable to move or say anything. She was dumbstruck. With each passing moment she was made to repent her fears, her thoughts on him. Him! what should I call him? I can't call him Mr. Almeida...can I call him Stanley or James? I like James. May be I should call him James. But if he doesn't like that name? I should ask him what I should call him. She was going on and on in her mind.

"Astha, what are you thinking so much about? Don't worry about anything. Just take your time. Get ready and come down for breakfast. If you don't feel like joining me you can have it here in the room. I'll tell Filo to arrange it" he said.

"No, I'll be ready in few minutes" she said rushing towards the closet. Just then he grabbed her hand and she stopped in her tracks. He slowly made his way towards her. Made her face him. Put his hands on her shoulder and looked straight into her eyes and said "Astha! Relax! There's nobody to control you, scold you if you're late for anything. You are you're own master or rather mistress. You're not answerable to anybody. Not even me. So take your time"

"What's with you and tears" Saying he gently wiped the tears off her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I was so wrong about you. I was so scared of you. I didn't want to get married." Saying she hugged him. And he hugged her back. She was really relieved. She had found solace in the arms of very unlikely soul. But she didn't seem to care. She liked the way he made her feel, safe.

She felt his hands soothing her hair. And he slowly pulled her apart and kissed her forehead ever so gently. She closed her eyes and looked down.

"Astha! Don't be sorry! I can understand your apprehensions and your inhibitions. I know you need time to get to know me. And I will give that liberty. Just don't be afraid of me. I'd be very hurt" he said while gently caressing her cheek. She liked the soft touch. His hands were warm and soft. She thought how come. He's a man and older so should be the other way round. I think softer than mine.

She remembered in the novels she had read, how they always explain the first touch the first kiss, how the skin seemed to burn, knots in the stomach, knees turning to jelly or forgetting night and and day, none of that happened to her. So have they all been lying or is something wrong with me? She was wondering as she slowly walked towards the closet.

He was reading the paper when she stepped out of the bathroom. Dressed in a lavender colour knee length floral dress. She looked fresh as the summers day. Her Beautiful black curls gathered at the back in a half ponytail with a clip, no make up. He was loss for words. He just kept staring at her. She felt awkward with his intense look. He quickly got up and walked upto her with a blue velvet box in hand And presented it to her and said "you look very beautiful"

She blushed. Nobody's ever said that she's beautiful. She Looked down. He tipped her chin and said, "don't look so surprised I'm sure you hear this all the time"

She didn't know what to say. She didn't even realise that she was shaking her head to sign a no. "Were they all blind? I'm telling you you are. Please open it and see if you like it or not. If you don't we can exchange it" he said placing it on her hands.

She opened it. It was a beautiful white gold pearl and diamond pendant and earrings set with a dainty white gold chain. She looked at him with gratitude her eyes asking him is she worthy of all these. As if to say what is it that he sees in her that nobody else ever saw, not even her own parents, her family.

Even her birthdays were hardly celebrated, they never made a big fuss about it how they would for her sister. She remembered her mother speaking to to her father trying to get him to have a small party for her. And what he said broke her heart"why do you want to celebrate the day our hopes died"

She quickly managed to step out of her past. It's the past. Its got no place in my present or my future. She said to herself. With each moment, she was getting more and more determined to make her marriage work. She didn't know what she needs to do, what is expected of her, or what the future holds for her. But she wanted to be the best she can be, do everything she needs to do as a wife. Everything!

That thought sent a shiver down her spine. She's inexperienced but, she knows what happens between a married couple. Between a man and a woman. One of her friends had shown her a x rated movie on her phone, when she found out Astha was getting married. She had been petrified with what she saw. But her friend whose more experienced than her assured her it's all good. It's fun. That she enjoys is as much as her boyfriend.

"Hey! What're you thinking. You don't like it, I knew it". He said bringing ber back to present time. She felt bad looking at his anxious face.

"I'm so sorry! I love it, it's very beautiful. But you don't have to buy me all these things. Don't waste you're money on me" she said very innocently.

And he burst out laughing. And said "sweet mother of god! Are you for real. You are the only woman I've met that does not want me to spend on her and the only woman to say you don't want diamonds and pearls" he said patting her head and letting his hand slide slowly down to her cheeck. And bent down to kiss her other cheek. She looked down and closed her eyes. Seeing she's not comfortable he withdrew himself. But said, "please wear this and show me" she obliged. It looked so perfect with her lavender dress.

He said "perfect" and smiled. She returned the gesture. And said Thank you!

They walked down to the dining room. It was a huge room. Decorated with Victorian style furniture, paintings adorned the walls complete with a fire place. One wall was completely reserved for his antique plate collection. Very elegant and magnificent was the words that came to her mind. As she stepped inside the aroma of freshly backed bread greeted her sences. The table was laid with delectable goodness. Both continental and traditional Indian breakfast dishes. Just then Filo walked in with a huge smile on her face and a tray on hand with a flat dish neatly arranged with freshly cut fruits, fresh milk and juice as well. She placed it on the table and walked up to Astha. She waited to be introduced to her new mistress.

Stanley introduced Astha to her, she gave her a bone crushing hug and told her she's very happy to finally meet the Mrs. Almeida after all these years and that she wishes them all the best for a blessed married life. Astha felt her genuine warmth and kindness. She felt so at ease and glad even. She was liking her new home more and more, one by one the other staff members too came and made their acquaintance with their new mistress. Stanley was very authoritative with them. Giving them orders and reminding them that they have to make sure she's well taken care of and they must obey her no questions asked. Listing to him she felt almost uncomfortable and bit ashamed. She's not used to being the centre of attraction. She was the opposite, she was a wallflower. All this fuss about her was making her uneasy.

She smiled with them and greeted them with equal sincerity. She liked each and everyone of them. There was Janaki, Mary, Seetha and Rani who took care of the cooking and the house. Martin her personal Driver whose daughter is Mary. Then there was Ramu kaka and Samuel who took care of the gardens and and the rest of the estates upkeep. But Filo was the Matriarch of them all.

She got used to the big house, which was a surprise to her as well. There were no off limits in the house. She had the keys to each and every door in her house. She loved spending time In his study which also doubled as a library. When he found out about her love for murder mysteries and and romance novels he wanted to convert one of the guest rooms into her very own sanctuary. But she declined the offer saying she likes the cosy feel of his study plus she likes to be around him. If it's ok with him. He was more than pleased to have her around and the fact that she wanted to be around him pleased him even more. She felt so at home. She too would sometimes help in the kitchen, Astha was an excellent cook. She learnt to make all his favourite dishes as well and some he's never tried but when ever she made something new liked it and praised it too. Another first for her. She was very happy. Who would've thought. When she walked down the isle that day she thought her life was ending. But now she had realised it's just begun.

She asked him if it's ok if she called him James, he laughed first, saying nobody's ever called him that but if she likes to, then so be it he said.

Bit by bit she found out about his likes and dislikes, Filo was a great source of information. Few weeks after the wedding he had to travel to Brazil for a business deal and he wanted her to come along as well. She declined promising she'd accompany him the next time. He was gone for 10 days. And she missed him every day. He would call most of the days few time day and there were few days when he didn't call at all. She immersed herself in her books and her music. She did feel lonely at times specially during the night. She loved the sense of security she felt having him next to her. He didn't try to get intimate with her. But he did let her know that he desires for her. He also knew that she wanted more time.

When he returned she ran to him and hugged him. She really missed him. He had bought so many stuff, from dresses to jewellery to sandals which she likes. But she wasn't interested in any of it. He was surprised and to see her so unaffected by it all. She was happy to see him.

That night, she did the unthinkable. He was taken aback as well. She gave herself to him. They took, their marriage to the next level. Became husband and wife in true sense. Before that he made it sure if she was ready for it and she knows what she's doing. He asked her if it's her first time and she nodded yes looking down. He said I'm sorry I can't say the same for me. I have lived lot more years than you. But I promise you there will never be anybody after you. Not after I married you.

She appreciated his honesty. Of course not everybody in their forties are virgins like Steve Carrel. She thought.

He was very gentle and took things very slow. Gave her the time and the space to get accustomed to him. His body. Did she enjoy it,does she want to do it again? He asked. Yes! Was her answer. That night she grew up, she became a woman. Woman in a girls body. She slept in the arms of her man, her husband. And nobody can change that. She belonged to him and he to her. As bizarre and preposterous as it may have seemed in the beginning. She thought she's falling in love with her husband. She didn't see or feel the 20 year age differnce. He was 38. And she, all but 18.