In Your Eyes_Teaser pg 142_link to thread 3_pg 1 - Page 2

Chapter 11

The stunningly sweet voice of Begum Parveen Sultana effortlessly scaled three octaves of Raag Maru Bihag, choosing phrases that brought out the essence of the raag, which bore testimony to the miraculous spontaneity and years of dedication to the art. While the artiste can be credited for the sense of tranquility she brought to a particular listener, it is by no means fair to blame her for the choice of the Bandish, Sajan bin kaise, which was not helping to put the poor listener out of misery.

As she sat huddled in the warmth of her bed, listening to the CD Arnav had given, almost two hours after the beautiful evening had come to an end, Khushi's mind was busy oscillating between a state of joy and unrest, both caused by the same person.

The previous few days were not easy for Khushi. In fact her life had lost its monotony and serenity ever since Arnav had stepped in. She knew in her heart that something changed after the fundraiser program. What she wasn't sure was whether the change was due to Arnav or herself. Her initial unrest as a result of Arnav's visit to SPARC prior to his London trip had given her a reason to worry, but Payal's wise words to consider falling in a comfortable friendship with him had helped her to overcome the restlessness. But that lasted only till the fund raiser, after which Arnav's presence in her life became constant. The month that followed the SPARC function, brought Arnav quite often to SPARC, almost always claiming to have come for the residential school project related discussions. She often wondered if the project had really progressed to a level to warrant frequent visits by one of their benefactors, who also happened to be the CEO of a leading fashion brand. But what surprised her more was her desire to meet him when he wasn't coming and the way she found excuses to accompany her brother during his many visits to ARD under the pretext of wanting to say hello to Anjali, but majorly spending her time in Arnav's cabin until Shyam was done with his work with Anjali. She found herself shamelessly craving for his voice or touch or both and never could understand why they brought a sense of fulfilment. In fact there were so many WHYs and WHATs of late and she knew answer to none.

Why did she want to go to the concert with him, when she had never gone out with anybody other than family? Was it because she never knew what it was to go out with a man and she wanted to experience it? She didn't know. Would she have gone if it was someone else other than Arnav? She knew, she wouldn't have. Why?

She did know that her brother was not instantly willing to let her go, yet he had given his consent. But later she felt, he was not averse to the idea. She was indeed surprised to know that it was Shyam who had suggested to take her to Naivedyam which confirmed that he didn't oppose her going out with Arnav. What changed?

The most important question that rattled her mind at the moment was, did she consider Arnav only as a friend?

If she did, then why did she feel her stomach and heart churning in anticipation the entire day?

Why did she look forward to the evening from ever since he called her to ask her out?

Why did she keep asking Payal, who had come in briefly to get her ready, if she was looking good, when it had never mattered before?

You look beautiful, Khushi!

Why did she feel so elated when he said that, while compliments about her physical beauty from so many people hadn't affected her one bit? Was it because this time it wasn't followed by the customary murmur If only God hadn't snatched away the sight from her' as soon as she was thought to be out of hearing distance?

He has one more student who is very talented, Khushi.

Why did that make her feel special? Was it because the recognition of her faculty came from someone who knew and appreciated music? If that was true, why hadn't she felt the same happiness every time any of her Guruji's friends who visited him to discuss music complimented her when she played before them?

You may not know your worth, but to me, to all of us, you are nothing less than a treasure.

In her many years of darkness, everyone in her family had told how much she meant to them, whenever she felt her low esteem push her to consider herself unworthy. Yet when she heard similar words from Arnav, why did she want to believe, for the first time, that she was indeed worthy of their love?

As if his words weren't sufficient to make her heart race, her own reaction to his proximity and innocent, accidental and not-so-unintentional touches throughout the evening, weren't helping her restless mind either. And she felt the first evidence of her heart wavering across the fine line that demarcated friendship and beyond.

With that realization, a very important question that led to several other questions, crossed her mind.

Did he feel the same way about me?

What if he considers me as a friend and nothing more?

Why would he even think of me when he can have anyone, who is beautiful, rich and above all, without a handicap?

Was it possible that he felt only pity and sym...No, no, if that was all he had felt for me, then he would have apologized for his behavior, participated in the fundraiser and then disappeared from her life once and for all. Why is he taking so much efforts to be with me? What do his frequent visits to SPARC mean? What do all these CDs mean?

Why would he be spending his time with me taking me to concert and dinner when he can be in the company of any beautiful woman?

She remembered the song he sang, Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai, ke jaise tujhko banaya gaya mer liye'.

Why did it seem that it wasn't just a recital of his favorite song but filled with his own emotions? Or was it just her imagination?

"I have tried for so long to sing, Khushi, but without success. But I think now I have a wonderful person with me to whom I can't say no. I promise to try, if not for anyone else, if not for myself, but certainly for you" The conviction in his voice was unmistakable.

And he has asked me out again. Why would he, if he wasn't interested?

And above all, the kiss. Perhaps, it was just a brush of lips, but was enough to invoke strange reactions in my poor heart.

Despite all the indications, what if it was just meant to be nothing more than friendship from Arnav's perspective? I have prevented myself from giving my heart to anyone lest I end up breaking it into pieces I would never be able to put together. It is said that eyes are the mirror to one's heart. Oh how I wish I could see, so that I can just look into his eyes and understand what he thinks, about me, about this relationship! But I can't have blind assumptions and build castles in the air.

Yes, I should talk to Arnav. I should know what he thinks and clear all doubts once and for all. This Friday, I will have answers to all my questions.

With these thoughts, Khushi drifted into a deep slumber, while Begum Parveen Sultana switched to Raag Amba Manohari.

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As the last traces of a good sleep faded, memories of the previous evening came with full force as if they never left and Arnav Singh Raizada woke up with an enchanting smile on his face, only to vanish the moment his eyes stopped on two eager, foolishly grinning faces.

"What the hell! What are you both doing here?"

"Good morning to you too Chote! We brought us coffee."

"Huh?"

"Oho Nannav! We are trying to compensate for last night, you feigned tiredness and drove us away from our sibling time, remember?"

Arnav turned his head to spot a flask sitting on the side table with cups and saucers. He pulled his comforter over his head and mumbled, "I am still sleeping. Go away!"

"But the coffee will become cold Chote."

"Its okay. I like cold coffee. And by the way, the coffee is in a flask. I will have it later."

"But what about us? We are starving. Get up chote. You are awake anyway."

Arnav pushed the comforter away and sat up on his bed and asked them irritatedly, "What do you both want?"

Akash supplied, "Details. Every single one of them."

"Details of what?"

"Of Nannav Singh Raizada's first date with Khushi Gupta"

Arnav got out of his bed swiftly and stared at Akash with practiced anger, successfully concealing his delight at the mention of the previous evening. He picked up a towel while casually remarking, "And why do you think, I am going to tell you everything?"

"Because I am the one who arranged it."

"What will I ever do without my wonderful brother and sister?" Arnav asked with fake emotions.

"Anything for you Nannav, anything for you." Akash played along.

Arnav playfully smacked Akash on his head and shook his head at Anjali who was witnessing the bonding with a smile, before turning to the washroom.

He came back to find his siblings on the poolside chairs waiting for him. He sat down after ruffling Akash's hair and asked, "So, what plans for today?"

Anjali instantly colored and opened her mouth to say something when Akash quipped, "No need to say anything Di. We have understood that you have plans with Jiju."

That earned him another smack, this time from Anjali, while Arnav looked on with immense love for his sister. It also brought him back the little conversation he had with Shyam before he left Gupta Mansion last night. He had fallen into a comfortable bond with Shyam, both indirectly acknowledging each other's awareness about Anjali and Shyam's relationship.

Arnav accepted a cup of coffee from Anjali while Akash said, "Now don't divert the topic Nannav. You tell us all about The Date" drawing inverted quotes with his hands in the air at the last two words.

"In your dreams"

"Come on don't be a spoil sport. Okay tell me just one thing. Did you kiss?"

"I am going to kill you, if you don't stop now."

"Akash, you are talking about your future bhabhi, so remember not to cross a line there" warned Anjali.

"Oh, also your future nanad (sister-in-law), how can I forget that, Sorry Di, sorry Nannav" Akash said with mock fear and regret, while his eyes showed nothing but amusement at the reaction from the brother-sister duo.

Anjali ignored him and turned to Arnav. "Was she comfortable with you, Chote? How was the dinner? Where did you go?"

Arnav sighed, female version of Shyam, certainly a match made in heaven, he thought. "We went to Naivedyam, a south Indian restaurant, we ate dosa, yes, she was comfortable with me. She has even agreed to go out with me again. Happy?"

"Very" Anjali scrunched her nose and smiled brightly nodding her head, earning chuckles from her brothers. Nani chose that moment to walk in and was greeted by her grandchildren with warm hugs. She then took Anjali with her after asking the boys to get ready soon and come down for breakfast.

"What are you doing today, Kiddo?" Arnav asked Akash.

"Meeting up with my school friends for dinner"

"Are you still in touch?"

"Yeah, some of them came to the same college. Recently I got in touch with a few more."

"Is Payal coming too?" Arnav asked lazily picking up the newspaper, handing over the supplement to Akash.

Akash was totally unprepared. "P..Payal? Why would she come?"

Arnav was surprised at the sudden nervousness. "Didn't she say she went to the same school as we?"

"Oh! Yeah, that. Yes." Akash consciously avoided looking at Arnav.

"So, is she coming for the dinner or not?" Arnav intently looked at Akash.

"I..I don't know. She may not, it's her only day off. She is not the social type."

Arnav smirked. The boy was hiding something. He should have known that his Nannav was reborn, with all his old qualities.

"Oh it's her day off. Then I am thinking, since you are going out with your friends and Di is busy, I would be bored. May be I can take Payal and Khushi out."

"What? No...I mean Nannav, you will look desperate if you do that."

"How? This is a good idea, this way I will get to spend time with Khushi without looking you know, desperate. I will call Payal right away." Saying so, Arnav got up to get his phone that sat on his bed in his room.

Akash was flabbergasted. He had to do something and fast. He jogged behind Arnav who was picking up his mobile. Akash snatched away his phone.

"What are you doing Nannav? She won't come."

"Payal will never deny if it is for Khushi." He snatched back his phone and searched his contacts.

Akash's hypertension escalated. "Exactly my point. She won't say no if it is for Khushi."

"Yeah, got it. Now stop repeating me." Arnav dialed the number.

Akash panicked and blurted out, "Then she would point blank refuse to come to the dinner tonight."

And at that precise moment, Akash's mobile rang. Akash irritatedly fished out his phone from his pocket to see Arnav's name on the caller ID. He looked up in confusion to see a smirking Arnav with his hands folded across his chest. When he finally understood the prank that his Nannav played on him, he looked at him stunned for a moment before both broke into peals of laughter. Akash hugged his brother tightly, who reciprocated it equally. When they both withdrew, Arnav asked him, "Are your friends coming at all or is it just the two of you?"

Akash scratched his head boyishly and grinned.

"I thought so. Akki, how serious are you?"

"We don't know yet. As of now, we are trying to understand what it is. That's why I didn't share it with you"

"That's fine. Just remember that although Payal is a practical girl with a modern outlook, she comes from a very traditional family, not to forget that she is more or less a daughter of the Guptas too. So handle this relationship with maturity if it comes to that."

Akash nodded his head in understanding and hugged his brother once again before leaving him to get ready for the day.

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It was almost mid-morning and the boys hadn't come for breakfast yet. Hence Devyani decided that they would have a family brunch, instead of breakfast. Arnav came down after an hour to see the entire family seated in the dining area waiting for him. He profusely apologized for the delay and took his seat next to his Nani and surveyed the spread on the table. He was contemplating between aloo parantha and gobi parantha and then served himself a gobi parantha, when he heard Akash seated next to him ask their cook,

"Hariprakash, do you know to make Dosa?"

Arnav's hand stilled mid-air while the elders looked up with confusion. Anjali had to reign a lot of control over her bubbling laughter and Arnav his immense desire to just kill Akash. And on top of that his mother was not at all helping.

"Hain. Akash bitwa, have you banged your head against something? Where do you get these weird ideas from?"

"No Ma. We should try different cuisines. Is it not boring to have parantha or poha or toast for breakfast?"

"Son, why this sudden interest in south Indian cuisine? Are we missing something?" Mamaji asked his suspicion. That was all Arnav needed to turn the table around.

"Yeah tell us Akki, is there anything we should know? Is it the girl who has recently joined the designing team from Chennai? What's her name Di? Pa..."

Arnav ignored the deadly glare his brother was giving him and turned to his Mami, who did not disappoint him.

"What? Akash, what's happening? Is this what you do in office?"

Devyani didn't miss the naughty glint in Arnav's eyes and quickly intervened. "Enough Manorama. Can't you see Chote is pulling his legs? Anyway, Hariprakash doesn't know to make Dosa, at least not as good as they make in this place called Naivedyam. Isn't it Chote?"

This time Anjali couldn't control her laughter and swallowed it along with a sip of water with great difficulty. Arnav carefully avoided looking at his grandmother, particularly after she had expressed her knowledge of his evening rendezvous with Khushi.

"How do you know Amma?" Mamaji wanted clarity.

"Woh Mamaji! A friend of mine was singing praises about the place." Arnav said in a low voice. The rest of the brunch passed in light hearted banter among the family members. As they finished eating and moved to the living area to continue their conversation, Devyani cleared her throat and called for attention.

"You all know that Holi is around the corner. We have not celebrated the festival grandly in the past few years for various reasons. The children haven't showed particular interest in the celebrations too all these years. But this year, I wish to organize a party and invite all our family friends. What do you all say?"

"Excellent idea Maaji. We should decide on the guest list and start inviting them."

Devyani nodded her head and said, "But I don't want too many guests, Manorama"

"Why Maaji?"

Devyani passed her hand lovingly through Anjali's hair who was sat on the floor leaning against her and said, "Because our guests include the Guptas and the Sharmas. So I don't want crowd, especially the gossip monger women around Khushi bitiya."

Arnav's heart warmed at his grandmother's thoughtfulness.

"That's a good point Amma. But then we would hardly have any guests."

"Don't worry Manohar, the children can invite their friends and colleagues. We will invite our neighbours, they are all very good people."

Seeing his Di and Nannav suddenly silent, Akash exclaimed, "That's excellent Dadi. But..." and pointed to the siblings.

"What are you thinking Arnav? If you are not comfortable, we will drop the idea", said Mamaji.

Arnav gazed at his sister for a few moments and when she finally nodded her head, he turned to his Mama and Nani and said, "Let us do it. It has been so long. We have to let it go. We can't keep running away forever."

Anjali turned to her Nani and said, "Chote is right Nani. As much as Holi will remind us of Maa, we can't keep avoiding it. I think it's high time we try to see her in the celebrations rather than suffering with the painful memories."

Nani lovingly caressed her face and said tearfully. "I am very happy bitiya. May God bless whoever that is responsible for bringing so much positivity in your lives."

"Enough of the tears Amma. Now there will be only happiness in this home", said Manohar and sent a quick prayer to his favorite Goddess to bless the kids.

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"Did you like my selection?" Anjali asked Shyam.

They were driving back home after spending the evening, in shopping and dining. Akash had earlier dropped her in Ambience Mall where Shyam was waiting for her. Anjali had helped him to choose dresses for Khushi, Payal and Buaji for Holi, as per his request.

"You are a designer Anju, for God sake. Why do you think I asked for your help? Your choice is fabulous. Chutki and Payal will look like princesses."

"They don't need special dresses to make them look like princesses Shyam. They both are naturally beautiful."

"How is Khushi? It's been so long since I met her."

"Mmm."

A few minutes passed in silence, which Anjali broke.

"Are we going to pretend that we don't know about Arnav and Khushi?"

Shyam smiled at the question he was expecting all evening. "No we aren't going to feign ignorance. Arnav spoke to me in length and I am convinced about his sincerity. Khushi is comfortable with him. But that is all we know at the moment. Anju, you do understand that.."

"...Khushi will take time? Yes, Shyam. Arnav has assured me that it will be Khushi who will decide the pace of progress of their relationship." Shyam smiled at that and took her hand in his.

"So Holi at Shantivan, is it? Are you okay with the celebrations, Anju?"

Anjali sighed and put her head on Shyam's shoulder. Although Shyam had his focus on the road ahead, his senses were tuned to the wonderful woman sitting on the passenger seat beside him. During dinner Anjali had told him about Nani's idea of Holi celebration and that she would call Gupta Uncle and Sharma Uncle to invite them. Shyam had known from one of their previous conversations that Holi brought back memories of her mother since Holi was her most favorite festival. Anjali's silence worried him, yet he waited patiently for her to open up.

"Twelve years have passed by Shyam. But the grief has never really diminished."

He didn't have to look at her to know that she was crying. He pulled the car and took her hands in his.

"It is always there Anju. It is there in the memories all the time. It seem to fade away with time but hits you with full force when you least expect it." **

Anjali knew that Shyam was sharing his own experience in dealing with loss of a mother. Shyam straightened her and held her face in his hands while wiping away her tears with his thumb.

"But life goes on Anju. The memories become our strength. They help us to create new memories. They become a part of our life, a part of us."

Anjali buried her face in his chest. Shyam drew her close to himself trying to take away all the pain. They stayed in a comfortable embrace for some time before breaking apart.

"Are you okay?" Shyam asked with concern. Anjali nodded her head and Shyam started the car.

They drove in silence until they neared Shantivan. Shyam stopped the car again a little distance from Shantivan, when Anjali spoke softly.

"You are right Shyam. To be honest, I am tired...tired of running away from my dreams and desires. I have spent too much time trying to run away from simple wishes fearing heart break."

Shyam didn't interrupt and let her talk. Anjali turned in her seat to face him and continued, "But now, I want to live. I want to create new memories...memories with my family...memories with you."

She let out a watery smile before looking away too afraid to look into his eyes, lest she found her feelings unrequited and said, "To answer your earlier question, yes, I am okay with the celebration. It's time we moved on."

Shyam's eyes never wavered from her face the entire time, trying to understand her words. But more than her words, her body language was more expressive. Her hesitation to look at him again spoke volumes of her internal battle with emotions. It was time he said something. He retrieved a bag from the backseat and willed her to look at him. When she did, he placed the bag in her hands and asked her to look into it. Anjali opened the bag and took out a beautiful saree in sandal yellow color. She didn't remember choosing this saree. She looked at Shyam questioningly.

He smiled and said, "That's for you, for Holi."

Anjali gasped and asked, "What? Why?"

"Do you like it?"

"It's so beautiful. I love it. But why?"

Shyam put the saree back in the bag and placed it at her feet. He gently held her face in his palms and said, "Because it felt incomplete to not buy anything for you, when I was purchasing for the women in my family" with a pause before he uttered the last word with a stress.

Anjali's eyes widened for a moment when the implication of his words sank in and then more tears flowed, this time because of relief and happiness. Shyam looked at her with equal mixture of tenderness and desire and she knew too well what to expect. She moaned in pleasure at the soft caress of his hands against her cheeks to her neck and leaned in involuntarily to feel the familiar pair of lips take hers in a kiss that poured immense love, care and concern. Her hands automatically wound around his shoulders as she reciprocated what she received with equal fervor.

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The room was partially illuminated by a night lamp.

A figure sat huddled against the headboard of a lavish king size bed placed at the center of a tastefully designed bedroom. The pair of eyes that were bloodshot, emitted unadulterated wrath. The urge to smash the flower vase lying nearby on the vanity mirror was escalating. A need for another drink to numb the insides was intense. An effort to erase the image that had been haunting since a couple of hours, by closing eyes shut, wasn't successful.

As her millionaire husband snored away to glory on the other side of the bed, Sheetal poured herself another drink and downed the liquid in a single gulp as the image of a laughing Anjali Raizada looking into the mobile held by Shyam Gupta who had his hands around her shoulder possessively, laughing along at Chill's in Ambience Mall, tortured her again.

He is in love.

He has moved on.

Why couldn't I?

Why couldn't I?

She glanced at her husband with annoyance and closed her eyes in frustration trying to contain the tears that threatened to spill.

He chose his sister over me.

He chose that useless blind girl over me.

And then just like every time, the vicious thought reared its ugly head once again in her mind.

Khushi Gupta, I will make sure you pay for making my life miserable.

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