ArHi OSes: When I Knew | Ugly Chaise | PG 53 | NEW UPDATE (21/8) - Page 19

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Posted: 11 years ago
Once again you leave me speechless with the beauty of your writing and creativity!
yoga123 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Awesome post...thanks for the PM
rk2127 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
This update about Lavanya knew was awesome. You so rightly depicted her feelings for ASR, her jealousy of Khushi, her change and her accepting the truth.

She loved him.
She knew ... he didn't feel his heart beat faster when she was around. But she retained hope.
Then she showed up...
And he... Responded. He wasn't distant to her, far from it.
She didn't want to accept it then. Instead, she turned her focus into making Khushi's life miserable.

And then came the change, change of heart, jealousy give way to friendship and understanding.

Chamkili, The insult soon became a term of endearment.

And where you took liberties in making comparison with the Cinderella story, the step sister, the Cinderella, the hand to help as a hand offering for ball dance, the payal as the glass shoes, and her meager heart wanted to hold a little longer by fitting in the glass shoes till the Prince realizes his own feelings for his Cinderella. This all took this 'when I knew' series to a higher notch.

All I can say scratch that actions speaks louder than words, so here it is 👏 🤗 👏
Edited by rk2127 - 11 years ago
babydevil thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Though never physically but yet Mentally Aman has been an integral part of our serial.. The way you presented his story , his POV made it seem as if he was parallel lead in the serial.

The way it described the various emotions and shades of ASR ! was something hats off kind.
As being the silent suspect of all his activities, you leave behind Aman- a man forever!

I liked the way you ended the OS ! quit blushy blushy !

Loved it !
write more

Love
Diva
Edited by babydevil - 11 years ago
babydevil thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
😆Getting Lavanya's side story! kinda risky coz we have to show the right amount of intelligence yet ignorance and kinda happiness yet sadness.. bit hard to get it right ! but u did !

And the Cinderella touch took it to another level all together.

There weren't any were famous emotions in it but just right to bring it out.

P.E.R.F.E.C.T !!

I don't know why but everytime I read your Shots ! I feel some kind of proud mother seeing you progress by every shot ! thou I am just 17 :P 😆

Love
Diva
Dee_J thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Wow, I mean really wow. You left me speechless. As I went on reading the shots, it made me realize how brilliantly you not only understand arnav khushi, but also the other important characters. My favorite one was of Ma, Nk and lavanya! I felt their emotions, they left me with a lump in my throat. There are few lines from these three specially which I loved, but I am lazy to copy and comment on those now😳 I will surely give a detailed comment sooonish. I want you to write one on Anjali and nani's too, and payal too, if possible :)
And also, you have a way with words. Reading this felt more of reading poetry, than a prose :)
chavvi16 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
was reading these again
damn just blow me away every time they do
chotidesi thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
I will be updating this sometime soon! I'm in the midst of working out the details of Swayamvar, but I do have something in mind for this. It should be updated pretty soon!
Edited by chotidesi - 11 years ago
chotidesi thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Note: My sincerest apologies for taking so long. I've been working on a new story, Swayamvar, and I'm working out the details. I hope you like this one!


Devyani Raizada had seen a lot in her seventy years of life. She had experienced the worst blow a mother could ever have- having to outlive her own child.


Ratna had been the baby of the house, her precious, beloved daughter. She had married her off into the rich, well off Raizada family in the hopes that they would pamper her as she had been pampered at home, with love and affection showered upon her.


Ratna had kept it from her until the very last possible moment, the crushing unhappiness and her husband's infidelity. She had put on a show of being happy, visiting Devyani every weekend without fail, bringing along a chubby, bubbly Anjali and a serious Arnav.


Devyani hadn't realized until she had heard the shot ring out from the study with the agonized sob of her daughter. Seconds later, a second shot was heard, and suddenly, the dhols of the baaraat turned from being a reflection of unadulterated joy to unadulterated devastation.


The weight of failing to realize that her daughter was depressed, of failing to see behind the cracking facade was something that Devyani felt deeply her heart. The regret of not seeing it sooner, not acting fast enough was a hand clutching her heart, squeezing tightly until she felt like she couldn't breathe.


She had failed her children once again when she allowed Subhadra to leave on pilgrimage, leaving Arnav and Anjali in the hands of her other useless son. It was only when he had thrown them out after sucking them of the fortune that Devyani finally stepped in, scooping up the children and taking them to her own home.


Since then, she had done everything possible to make up for the sin of disappointing her daughter, giving Arnav and Anjali whatever they asked for. She had not put up a fight when Anjali came home with Shyam, ignoring her ominous premonitions about the beady eyed man because of the radiant smile on her daughter's face.


The only thing Arnav had ever asked for was a handful of money to begin his business, and Devyani had given it to him without a second thought. She had watched as AR Corporations became one of the fastest growing companies, with Arnav building its success to be larger than his father's had ever been.


But Arnav still lacked love. He never recovered from the devastating loss of his parents, withdrawing further into himself as he threw himself into work. He spoiled Anjali, buying her anything and everything. He built a mansion with sprawling gardens, bought five different cars.


But he wasn't happy.


And until Arnav was happy, Devyani Raizada could not fully say that she had made up for her sins.


When Khushi first stepped into Shantivan, Devyani had immediately noticed a subtle change in Arnav. When other people angered him, Arnav would shut them down without a second thought. With Khushi, he would argue and spar, a renewed energy entering his eyes. He let her bother him, let her anger him, and let her into his life.


After the Lavanya fiasco happened, Devyani had almost given up hope.


But she had been wrong.


Arnav had softened towards the girl, showering his attention on her. It was as if he had her on a radar, finely tuned to perk up whenever Khushi walked into the house. He would stay holed up in his room until then, pacing around the pool and yelling on the bluetooth.


But the minute the girl with the bright clothes and the swinging braid walked into the house, she would hear the door to his room slam as he casually walked out, meeting Khushi's eyes and turning her cheeks a bright pink.


Devyani didn't fully realize the depth of their connection until the day when Khushi showed up at their house, wearing a golden anarkali. She stood uncomfortably in front of Devyani, fidgeting with her hands as her eyes flitted to the stairs constantly, clearly searching for someone.


"Why don't you... stay back for a bit?"


She knew the younger girl was waiting for her grandson to make his trademark appearance, and watched as her face fell when he didn't show.


"No, I'll... I'll just leave. I'm sure they're waiting for me at home."


She had just turned when Devyani caught a glimpse of the neatly ironed suit, the shoes clicking down the stairs rhythmically as he walked down.


Hazel met brown, and Devyani felt distinctly like she was intruding on a private moment as they simply stood there. Her grandson had a small smile on his face as he stared at the woman in front of him, her cheeks stained with the blush that only he could bring about.


She watched as Khushi floundered, clearly unwilling to leave now that Arnav had made an appearance.


"Accha... Khushi, why don't you... pick out a sari? You too are now a part of this family."


Khushi hesitated for a moment, politely declining before she acquiesced, letting out a sigh of relief as Arnav came fully down the stairs.


She reached for a sari when NK stopped her, handing her a cream colored sari instead.


"Nahi, nahi Khushiji, try this one!"


Devyani's eyes flitted to Arnav as he stiffened, his eyes narrowing at the man handing Khushi the cream sari. She could clearly see that Khushi was less than impressed, an uncomfortable smile on her face as her eyes looked towards the pink sari she was originally inclined to.


"Not that one. Go with the first one."


She jumped in surprise when Arnav's voice rang through the room, his hand on his Bluetooth and his figure turned away as he spoke.


Khushi weighed both saris in her hands, clearly torn between NK and Arnav as both of them imposed their views on her.


"If you like both of them, go with the one that first touched your heart."


He turned slightly to face Khushi, their eyes locking in an intense, powerful gaze as he beseeched her to pick the radiant pink sari in her hands. She broke the gaze for a second as her eyes dropped to the pink sari, squeezing it gently as the cloth threaded between her fingers.


She lifted her eyes back to him, and Devyani watched as he gave a slight nod, an almost pleading look in his eyes as he looked at the girl.


She lifted the cream sari towards Devyani, glancing over at the way Arnav's face fell. A smile blossomed on her face, and she switched hands, handing over the magenta sari with certainty.


"This one."


Devyani's eyes moved back to Arnav, who had the beginnings of a wide smile stretching his normally puckered lips.


Khushi gave him a shy smile as she handed it over, never breaking his gaze for a minute. Devyani looked between the two of them, a devilish glint appearing in her eyes.


"Arnav, if you're done with your decision..."


She watched as the barest tint of pink filled his cheeks, an embarrassed, shocked expression appearing on his face as he hastily put the bluetooth down.


She smirked slightly as the pair walked away.


Perhaps... she hadn't completely failed Ratna after all.


From up above, Ratna smiled down at her mother, mentally reminding herself to ask Devi Maiyya to give her mother an especially large present on Mother's Day.



rk2127 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Yeah I'm first, after such a long time...sorry went to do a happy dance got late 😉

Nani's feeling from the very start was of her intense pain where she failed her own child. A mother is a tune to her child's, need, pain and happiness. Deviyani Raizada failed her daughter there and to compensate she let Anjali have Shyam. Whoever he was and whatever he did but initially he was responsible for bringing smile on Anjali's face...I mothers heart melted and she did what she could to keep that smile in tact.

But Arnav was a different case altogether and Nani very rightfully noted that Khushi was the only one who stood up against Arnav arguing him, denying him, riling him and the unbelievable of all was he let her do it. Yes he denied it initially but he enjoyed it as it was a breath of fresh air to him.

Nani was the one responsible for hinting Khushi's knowledge, mannerism, and upbringing to Anjali which made Anjali to bring Khushi shantivan for Lavanya's training.

Yes she saw something different in her grandson, something changing but the confirmation came slowly during the payash wedding and yes that selection whether sari or groom was so truly a declaration by Arnav that he is Khushi first choice which Nani no way missed. In fact went ahead and pointed the same to The Great ASR.

Gulab you wrote Nani's POV very beautifully but the cherry on top was Ratna's request to DM for a grand Mother's Day gift for Devyani Raizada for being the best mother to her kids.

P.S. Correction in the update. In the beginning you mentioned Ratna was married of to Raizada's it's Malik actually. Arnav changed his name from Malik to Raizada after thrown out by his Chacha.
Edited by rk2127 - 11 years ago

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