Blast from the Past Thread #17, pg 72, epi 188

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..Anita..

@..Anita..

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#731

Nice poem!!!!
The last line was intense

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aarwen

@aarwen

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#732

Tham gayi dil ki dhadkanein

Insaan ke shakal mein tha wo bhediya

Tooti taaren, toota dil mera

Awaaz hai goonjti har taraf yehi

Sab dhoka hi tha, aur kuch bhi nahin

Beautiful Durga 💔 You captured the all the heartbreak through these lines..

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javeria

@Javeria3991

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#733

Originally posted by: DurgaS
Disclaimer: Please do not copy my work anywhere. If you do, please give credit.

Episodes 185 - 186

Dhoka

Dhund mein main kho gaya

Geet tha wo so gaya

Tham gayi dil ki dhadkanein

Sirf dhoka reh gaya😒

Jiski har baat maine maana tha

Jise Di ne hamesha pooja tha

Saamne aaya uska asli chehra

Insaan ke shakal mein tha wo bhediya😡

Masoom si thi jiski hasee

Mere dil ke taaron ko choo gayi

Tooti taaren, toota dil mera

Uss haseena ne bhi dhoka diya 😭

Bhaari kadam, bhaari saansein meri

Na raah, na manzil nazar aaye kahin😭 😭😭

Awaaz hai goonjti har taraf yehi

Sab dhoka hi tha, aur kuch bhi nahin

This is so emotional poem. You have describe Arnav's shock on the wedding marriage in a splendid way.

Wonderful poem. Love it.👏 👏 👏

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wiwy

@wiwy

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#734

Originally posted by: DurgaS
Disclaimer: Please do not copy my work anywhere. If you do, please give credit.

Episodes 185 - 186

Dhoka

Dhund mein main kho gaya

Geet tha wo so gaya

Tham gayi dil ki dhadkanein

Sirf dhoka reh gaya

Jiski har baat maine maana tha

Jise Di ne hamesha pooja tha

Saamne aaya uska asli chehra

Insaan ke shakal mein tha wo bhediya

Masoom si thi jiski hasee

Mere dil ke taaron ko choo gayi

Tooti taaren, toota dil mera

Uss haseena ne bhi dhoka diya

Bhaari kadam, bhaari saansein meri

Na raah, na manzil nazar aaye kahin

Awaaz hai goonjti har taraf yehi

Sab dhoka hi tha, aur kuch bhi nahin

Translation:

I got lost into the mist

The song that was went to sleep

The heart beats halted

Only betrayal remained

The one whose every word I heeded

The one whom Di worshipped

His real face came forth

In the guise of a human, he was a wolf

The one whose smile was innocent

Who touched the strings of my heart

The strings broke, my heart broke

That pretty girl too betrayed

Heavy are my steps, heavy is my breath

I can see neither the path nor the destination

Just this sound echoes around

It was all a betrayal, nothing else

DurgaS's Index

Excellent poem D..heart wringing! And you are becoming so good at edits too! 👏

Dhoka/ betrayl is difficult to accept at all times!😭 But this betrayl was maximised, it broke his soul for it came at a time when he had made up his mind to confess his feelings to her! A big decision for ASR who had no belief in these emotions! I would love you to add another para on that if you can D.

Edited by wiwy - 12 years ago

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DurgaS

@DurgaS

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#735

Originally posted by: indi52
^^^
durga,

that's was beautiful... especially last stanza... and the last line. felt my heart empty out.

Thanks Indi. He's speechless right now, a little lost after what he saw and only one thing echoing in his mind, that all this while it had been a dhoka, a betrayal from the BIL and this girl for whom he's started to recognise his feelings.

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DurgaS

@DurgaS

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#736

Originally posted by: ..Anita..
Nice poem!!!!
The last line was intense

Originally posted by: aarwen

Tham gayi dil ki dhadkanein

Insaan ke shakal mein tha wo bhediya

Tooti taaren, toota dil mera

Awaaz hai goonjti har taraf yehi

Sab dhoka hi tha, aur kuch bhi nahin

Beautiful Durga 💔 You captured the all the heartbreak through these lines..

Anita, Rhea,

Thank you for the appreciation and also for pointing out your favourite lines.

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DurgaS

@DurgaS

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#737

Originally posted by: Javeria3991

This is so emotional poem. You have describe Arnav's shock on the wedding marriage in a splendid way.

Wonderful poem. Love it.👏 👏 👏

Thanks Javeria. Yes, he is in a shock, unable to analyse all that he saw and heard. He is a clueless about how he should react as of now.

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DurgaS

@DurgaS

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#738

Originally posted by: wiwy

Excellent poem D..heart wringing! And you are becoming so good at edits too! 👏

Dhoka/ betrayl is difficult to accept at all times!😭 But this betrayl was maximised, it broke his soul for it came at a time when he had made up his mind to confess his feelings to her! A big decision for ASR who had no belief in these emotions! I would love you to add another para on that if you can D.

Thanks Wiwy. You also liked the edit, yay! 😃

Thanks for the suggestion. But right now, he is in a state of shock, he is still registering what he saw and heard. This poem is describing his feelings just after the terrace scenes. He is yet to talk to the BIL, learn about his Di's pregnancy and then the breakdown on the road. Somewhere along the way, he will realise how far he reached in Khushi's matter. That's when I will be writing about his decision to confess.

Lot of things happened on that wedding night. I want to write on these turn of events in detail. More poems coming soon. 😳

Ye raat abhi lambi hai

Kaafi kuch hona baaki hai

Dil cheer karne wali jazbaaton par

Abhi likhna aur baaki hai

(This night is long, lot is yet to happen, On the heart tearing emotions, lot is yet to be written)

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Cynthia Abruzzo DeSiena

@cinthiann1758

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#739

Originally posted by: DurgaS
Disclaimer: Please do not copy my work anywhere. If you do, please give credit.

Episode 184 - 185

Khote Khote reh gaya

Ek gehra dar sach hote hote reh gaya

Ek hi jhatke mein bhavanaon mein beh gaya

Ma bankar jo mere saamne rehti thi

Aaj uss Di ko khote khote reh gaya

Na manaya koyi parv, manaya sirf ek hi tyohaar

Bhai behen ke din par diya raksha vachan ka uphaar

Kalaai mein bandha wo dhaga khulte khulte reh gaya

Diya hua mera vachan, aaj toot te toot te reh gaya

Na maani koyi baat, na suni koyi pukar,

Hamesha karta raha, badtameezi se vyavhaar,

Aaj mere badsalooki ka aayina mujhe dikh gaya,

Mere ziddi baaton ka sazaa milte milte reh gaya

Toota saara guroor, chooti saari himmat,

Zakhmi Di ko dekh, bachche jaisi huyi haalat,

Chote bhai ke dabey huye aansuon ka baandh toot gaya
Ek baar phir se, apni Ma ko khote khote reh gaya

Translation:

A deep fear almost became true

In one stroke got swept away by emotions

The one who would remain in forth as a mother

Today I almost lost that Di

Never celebrated any occasion, celebrated only one festival

On the brother-sister day, gave the promise to protect as a gift

The thread tied on the wrist almost got loosened

The promise that I had given, almost got broken

Didn't listen to any word, didn't heed to any call,

Always behaved very rudely,

Today I saw the reflection of my misbehaviour,

I almost got punished for my stubborn attitude

All arrogance broke, lost all courage,

Watching an injured Di, like a kid became my state ,

The little brother's dam of restrained tears broke

Once again, I almost lost my mother

DurgaS's Index

Beautifully and poignantly written, Durga, you brought tears to my eyes. Lovely tfs.

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Cynthia Abruzzo DeSiena

@cinthiann1758

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#740

Originally posted by: DurgaS
Disclaimer: Please do not copy my work anywhere. If you do, please give credit.

Episodes 185 - 186

Dhoka

Dhund mein main kho gaya

Geet tha wo so gaya

Tham gayi dil ki dhadkanein

Sirf dhoka reh gaya

Jiski har baat maine maana tha

Jise Di ne hamesha pooja tha

Saamne aaya uska asli chehra

Insaan ke shakal mein tha wo bhediya

Masoom si thi jiski hasee

Mere dil ke taaron ko choo gayi

Tooti taaren, toota dil mera

Uss haseena ne bhi dhoka diya

Bhaari kadam, bhaari saansein meri

Na raah, na manzil nazar aaye kahin

Awaaz hai goonjti har taraf yehi

Sab dhoka hi tha, aur kuch bhi nahin

Translation:

I got lost into the mist

The song that was went to sleep

The heart beats halted

Only betrayal remained

The one whose every word I heeded

The one whom Di worshipped

His real face came forth

In the guise of a human, he was a wolf

The one whose smile was innocent

Who touched the strings of my heart

The strings broke, my heart broke

That pretty girl too betrayed

Heavy are my steps, heavy is my breath

I can see neither the path nor the destination

Just this sound echoes around

It was all a betrayal, nothing else

DurgaS's Index

Just Brilliant. My heart is heavy with those words, I feel his pain. Shyam the wolf. This was such a difficult scene for me to watch. I kept shouting at the TV NOOO!!!! It's not what you think. His eyes, his open mouth you saw his heart sink. Sighhh. Beautiful mistress poetess!