Setting It Right - A BB Continuation | Chap 26, Page 11 - Page 3

Chapter 7- His Personal Inferno!

22nd November 1942, Deenpur City Hospital

Batuk Roy Chaudhary had never felt so hopeless before. Not when he effectively lost his father, not when Big D sent him to Italy, not even when he believed that Big D was dead.

And everything had been going so so well… while Big D was still distant, he had come back, he had promised to be there for Batuk and help him recover. And for the past two days, he had been there, supervising each and every aspect of his treatment. But today, it all imploded.

Batuk was now able to breathe and speak properly, and the doctor had said he would be discharged the next day. But that evening, Big D had asked him to recount the events of the last 6 months. It had been extremely difficult recounting each and every one of his deeds over the past 6 months, seeing exactly how much Big D was hurting on hearing of them. But what had cut Batuk to the core were his Dada's parting words.

"Wajah jo bhi ho, Kaka ne chahe kuch bhi kaha ho, par saari kuraafat tumhari sochi hui thi, saare gunaah tumne kiye thay, apni marzi se!! Socho Batuk, tumne jo kuch bhi kiya, kya woh kisi bhi tarah se Humane bhi kehlata? Kya badla itna bada hou gaya tha tumhare liye, ke tum insaniyat tak bhul gaye?"

Batuk never felt smaller than he did at these words, and at Big D's hurt, disappointed gaze as he said them.

I disappointed my Big D. He thinks I don't deserve to be called human.

Accompanying the guilt, was the fear. He was afraid that he finally managed to push

his Big D away permanently…

That he had succeeded in making his Big D so upset…

So upset that he might not return to him now.

So upset that his Big D would not even want to see his face even if he died!

The extremely depressing thoughts were wreaking havoc in his already frail state of mind.

He was feeling as if he was sinking in a deep, dark, lonely and cold ocean. He felt as if he had hit the bottom. He desperately wanted to rise up to the surface, but he felt as if some unseen chains were holding him down. Something was keeping him submerged…making him fight for his life…making him feel hypoxic… making him feel as if he would just die!

Closing his eyes, he gave up the battle with the chains and the ocean going on in his mind. He was stuck in that abyss...all alone.

Helplessly waiting for his death now, he tried to think of all the people he loved, one last time.

His hyperactive mind started conjuring up the images of all the people he cared for. A reel of past memories started flashing in front of his eyes.

He saw almost everyone...

Big D

Bondita

His niece and nephew

Sampoo Maa

Som Dada

Baba

Shashwati…

He even saw his Kaka's face that stirred up extremely bitter memories…

And then he saw her face.

His eyes shot open and a gasp escaped his mouth on seeing her beautiful face once again.

A soft smile adorned his lips as he breathed her name fondly,

Mallika… My Mallika Baby…

The beautiful memories of their relationship flashed in front of his eyes.

He never showed it to her, but he acknowledged her presence in his life and cared for her deeply. More than his lover, she had been a close friend, privy to some of his darkest secrets and she even turned his partner in crime too.

His fond memories suddenly halted as the recollection of how he had thrown her out of his house a while ago surfaced to his mind.

Flinching at how he had treated her then, his heart suddenly felt extremely ill at ease. He didn't know why, all of the sudden he was feeling so restless.

And that was when his eyes landed on the telephone lying on the small table adjacent to his hospital bed.

He didn't know what came over him. Acting on their accord, his fingers dialed a number…

And an inexplicable relief settled over his veering and extremely messed up emotions as he heard the familiar voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Mallika? It's me…"

He barely whispered as a lone tear slipped from his eye.

He didn't know why Mallika's voice had managed to pull him out of those unseen shackles of his mind.

Her voice had somehow miraculously brought him back to the surface…

He could breathe now…

He didn't know why he was feeling so relieved on hearing her voice.

However, her next words doused all his emotions in a jiffy!

"BRC? You have some nerve… Mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni!"

She was angry...very angry! And Batuk's heart missed a beat as his sudden fear of abandonment consumed him again.

Trying desperately to make peace with her, he pleaded,

"Mallika Baby, please don't hang up… I really need you right now…"

He heard her scoffing off from the other end, followed by her angry outburst,

"Of course, jab tak tumhe zarurat nahi hoti, tab tak tum mujhe ignore karte ho, aur bhatakte ho bhanwre ki tarah iss ladki se uss ladki ke paas. Mai koi toy nahi hun Batuk, ke jab chahe use kiya, and jab chahe utha ke phenk diya. Mai bhi insaan hun, meri bhi feelings hain, mera bhi heartbreak hota hai. Mien tum se kyun baat kerun abh Batuk? Takay tum mujhe hamesha ki terha use ker ke phir se discard ker dou. Sunn lou, mien aisa nahi kerun gy abh. Mien tum jaise toxic insan se baat nahi kerna chahty. Got it!"

Mallika's hateful words crushed all the emotional vulnerabilities of Batuk. And hearing all these negative words pulled out the rude and callous BRC out in a flash. The urge to hurt her back was quite powerful as he yelled back indignantly,

"Toxic insan? Mien? Are you in your senses Mallika? Mien ager toxic hun tou tum khud kia ho? Aur kia kaha tumne? Mien 'use' kerta tha tumhien?"

Pausing to catch his breath, he continued bitterly,

"Ager mien use kerta tha na, tou tum bhi mujhe use kerty thyn. Miene kabhi tumse koi loyalty ke waade nahi kiye thay. Humaara rishta kabhi bhi exclusive nahi tha. Mien hamesha se hi aisa tha...jaise tumne kaha...Bhanwra… Lekin phir bhi tum ne mere qareeb anay ki koshish ki. Italy se India agayee...mere ghar mien zabardasti agayee. Miene tumse kabhi koi pyar ke jhoote waade nahi kiye thay. Miene tum se kabhi nahi kaha tha ke tum mujhse kisi qisam ki koi umeedien lagao. Mager tum ko yeh enough nahi tha. It was you who wanted more, not I."

His heartbeats were getting erratic now as he said his next words,

"Ager mien toxic hun, tou tum bhi kam nahi ho. Tum tou criminal ho Mallika. Bhool gai ho tou yaad dilaon ke kis terha tumne mere big D ke bacchay ko marne ki koshish ki thy. Tumko pata tha ke woh baby mere liye mere Big D ki akhri nishani tha uss waqt. You knew how attached I was to that baby. Lekin tum ne aik second ke liye bhi nahi socha tha usko marne ki koshish kerne se pehle."

He heard a small gasp from the other end followed by a low sniffle.

He stopped...feeling confused.

Is Mallika crying?

He thought to wait for her reply, but then his earlier guilt came back to him. Feeling his burst of anger suddenly draining, he quietly said,

"Mallika… ager mien ghalat tha tou tum bhi ghalat thyn. Miene tumhien ghar se bhi isi liye nikaala tha… jiska mujhe abh afsos hota hai. I shouldn't have done that. But I was so angry that time. Even now, it makes me furious. I could have handed you over to the police also. Was I wrong Mallika? Tum ne bhi tou mere big D ke bacchay ko marne jaisa paap kerne ki koshish ki thy na. Tum hi kaho, what choice did I have?"

A dead silence fell over the line as Mallika's breath hitched in her chest on hearing Batuk's indignant accusation.

He was right...of course.

Mallika quietened on the recollection of the horrible crime that she had tried to commit.

Out of her possessiveness and jealousy, she had stooped so low that she had been about to turn into a killer!

The guilt was never-ending.

She had left the RC mansion a while ago, but the memories of her wretched deeds kept her awake on most nights in Delhi, at her parents' house where she was staying now.

She had vowed that she would confess to her crime in front of Bondita... but she couldn't agonize an already traumatized pregnant lady more, especially at this point of her pregnancy.

The silence was getting really long as she was lost in her thoughts.

On the other end, Batuk was getting restless. Feeling his anger surging again on her quietude, he snapped,

"Mallika? Bloody hell say something!"

A sigh escaped her mouth as Batuk heard her voice over the phone, with all it's earlier anger gone, and now laced with tears and remorse as she said,

"I know Batuk. Miene waqai paap kia tha. I know ke Mushrooms daalna was wrong… By God pata nahi kya soch rahi thi mai tab. Mager yaqeen kero Batuk, miene soch rakha hai ke mien Bondita ko sab sach bataongy. Aur woh jo saza dena chahay gy, mien seh lun gy. Bass next month uski delivery hojanay dou. Phir mien uss ke samnay sab confess ker du gy jo kuch miene kia , and kyun kiya and I will apologize also."

He was expecting her to arrogantly deny what he had said. But her words and the way she spoke now doused all the residual flames of his anger too. His emotions were completely messed up. One moment he was snarling at Mallika, and the next moment he felt like crying … wanting to open his heart in front of his friend with whom, as his heart told him time and again that he had done something wrong somewhere along the line too. Surprisingly, when his head had been full of shit, his heart still managed to try to tell him the right things.

Sadly, he had ignored his heart all along.

A heaviness settled on his chest as he realized that he had one friend, but now, even she was not there anymore. She was drowning in her own sorrows.

He didn't know what he wanted to do with her now. She had been wrong...he had been wrong… When everything was wrong then why did he still want to continue talking to her?

Wondering the same, after a pause, he said in an even tone,

"Mallika, next month ka wait karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Thanks to the immense stress I put her under, Bondita went into early labor. After a near-death experience, she delivered twins...a son and a daughter!"

Hearing the good news, she exclaimed,

"Oh wow, Batuk...That's awesome! Tum toh bahut khush hoge na? And Bondita? Woh theek hai na ab?"

A small smile coming on his lips as he felt her genuine happiness on this news, he said lightly,

"Of course! Mien buht khush hun. Buht cute hain woh bachay. Bondita bhi ab buht khushi hogy."

And then, recalling something, he said,

"Arey Mallika, aik aur bhi good news hai. Bataoon?"

She sensed his excitement through the line, and a smile adorning her lips, she replied,

"Of course… batao na?"

Feeling elated all of the sudden, they were like two kids. Their fight was big… they had wronged each other… but somehow, they had found back some pieces of their original camaraderie now.

Batuk was happy that he could share his feelings with someone… At least there was one person who still was listening to him.So, without wasting the opportunity, he excitedly said,

"Mallika, you won't believe this. Pata hai, Big D is back! Woh zinda hain! He was alive all along. Tumhe pata hai, Bondita ne mujhe uss din kaha tha, that ager woh zinda hai, matlab uske Pati Babu bhi zinda hai…I had laughed at her whimsy… but she was right!"

A shocked gasp escaped Mallika's mouth on hearing this.

"WHATTT?? Wow man! That's really great Batuk, ghar pe sab buht khush honge na?"

The mere mention of "ghar" suddenly dampened his spirits. Trying hard not to make his anguish evident, he said,

"Haan, I am sure ab sab khush hi honge."

His response struck her as odd. And so, she asked,

"You are sure ke sab khush honge! Iska kia Matlab hai Batuk, you don't know?"

For the 2nd time during this call, a dead silence fell over. When he didn't reply for a few seconds, Mallika asked again,

"Batuk, kia hua? Sab theek haina?"

Heaving a deep breath, he finally replied, his voice thick with emotion.

"Nahi Mallika, sab theek nahi hai. Mien theek nahi hun. Big D asked me to leave the house. After all, maine unki Bondita ko maarne ki koshish ki thi na… Woh bhi ek nahi dou baar. Mai yahan hospital mein pada hu, yeh sochte hue ke kal jab mujhe discharge milega, tou mai kahan jaunga?"

When he had kicked her out of his house, she had firmly decided that she would never ever think about him again.

When his call came out of the blue, she was caught off guard. She had tried to show him how furious she was, and she was sure that she still didn't want to do anything with him again, but over the course of their conversation, somehow they had slipped back into the easy friendship that was between them.

They were many things to each other… but she knew that at the core of their complicated relationship, their friendship was still special.

And so, hearing what happened to him after they had broken apart, her heart that she had deliberately turned into ice started thawing.

Giving up, she asked worriedly,

"Tum hospital mien kyun ho, Batuk?"

Sighing, feeling like a real loser, he replied in voice filled with self-loathing,

"Kuch nahi Mallika. I drank so much to drown all my sorrows and my misplaced anger that I ended up with alcohol poisoning. Kisi naik insan ne club se mujhe rescue kia tha by chance. Aur bass… tab se yahan pada hun… coma wagera ki nobat agayee thy. My scary nurse told me that the docs were really worried. Sochta hun, marr hi jata tou accha hota. Abh yun uss khatarnak nurse se ghabra ker tumko tou na pareeshan kerta na!"

His last remark was to lighten the mood somehow.

Acknowledging his effort, hiding the deep pang of anguish she felt on hearing about his health, she asked softly,

"Are you lonely, Batuk? Wahan koi bhi nahi hai kia?"

He didn't reply immediately. Instead, after choosing his words carefully, he decided that she deserved this much,

"Abhi akela nahi hun. Tum se baat ker rha hun tou akela nahi feel ker rha. You are making me feel better, Mallika."

Mallika's heart pounded heavily in her chest on hearing his quiet revelation.

She had known him as a very blunt, rude, self-obsessed man who used to address himself as BRC.

But talking to him today, Mallika had the strangest feeling that his BRC mask had slipped off, and she was finally seeing the real Batuk.

She had always suspected that the callous BRC had a better version somewhere in the depths of the depths of his personality.

And the person she was talking to now, despite the fact that he really had called her when he needed her, but she still didn't feel as if she was being used.

Instead...she felt…

Strangely nice!

And so, she gently asked,

"Kia Big D buht naraz hain? Woh aye bhi nahi tum se milne?"

Reacting to her gentleness and care, his heart felt like it was melting.

This was special...his mind told him

She was special...his heart told him

Trying to recover from the intensity of these emotions that he was feeling, he replied to her question,

"No no… Big D aaye na… woh roz aate thay… but aaj mujhe unhe batana pada ke maine past 6 months mein kya kya kiya unki pyaari Bondita ke saath."

His voice cracking now, he said,

"Mallika, Big D was so hurt! Meri wajeh se mere Big D itna ziada dukhi hogaye thay. Aur honge bhi kyun nahi? Mallika, he saw me trying to burn his wife down… pata nahi kia hogya tha mujhe… I kidnapped two newborn babies just to make Bondita suffer. And then I locked everyone in the house while trying to set fire around Bondita. Big D saw me doing all that. Aur abh unko sab pata hai ke mien kitna gir gaya tha. I think, abh sab over ho gaya hai, woh ab wapis nahi aayenge...meri shakal bhi nahi dekhenge shayad…"

Mallika had nothing to say to that. She was feeling an intense amount of sorrow on what she heard just now. She could understand how the callous BRC must have completely overcome the nicer version, Batuk.

Now that she was finally meeting this Batuk, she knew instinctively that he wasn't capable of harming anyone like that. But his other version, the cold, animalistic BRC who had thrown her out of the house too, was indeed capable enough to kill someone.

Feeling just very sad for her friend, she finally said after a gap,

"Batuk, abh kia socha hai tumne? Kia kerou ge?"

He was lost in thought for a while. And then he said,

"I don't know. My heart says that I should say sorry to the people whom I have wronged. Lekin Mallika, Kya sirf sorry kehne se, apologize karne se, sab pehle jaisa hou jaata hai ? Sab kuch thik hou jaata hai kya?"

After some careful contemplation, she replied,

"I don't know Batuk… I think it depends on humari mistake kya hai… Papa says that apologize karne se apna hi burden kam hota hai, but agar humnein koi damage kiya hou, to usko repair karne ki bhi try karni chahiye…"

"And agar damage repair nahi kar paaye tou?"

"Toh I guess bas sacche mann se Sorry bol dou… And umeed rakho ke saamne waala forgive kar de…"

Her advice was sound...logical.

It gave him a little ounce of hope as he asked, hesitantly,

"Mallika… Humare beech ka damage repair ho sakta hai kya?"

At this point he didn't know what he wanted to fix, the friendship they shared, or the relationship she wanted. He didn't even know if deep down, he also wanted something more than friendship?

All he knew at this moment was that he couldn't bear more damage in his already crumbling life. And he really, really needed Mallika there with him...in her most original and sweet role...that of a real friend.

He waited for her reply with his breath caught in chest.

Finally, after a while, he heard her quiet voice,

"I don't know Batuk. Humare beech ka damage repair hoskta hai ya nahi, iske liye I think humein pehle figure out karna padega ke damage kya hua hai, and kitna hua hai, and agar isey fix karne mein koi point hai bhi ya nahi?"

Releasing his breath now, he understood her stance as he said,

"I think you are right… Mujhe pehle wajeh dhoondni hogy. Lekin Mallika, Agar mujhe ye damage fix karne ki wajeh mil jaaye, toh kya mai tumhe call kar sakta hu?"

Feeling a spurt of joy bursting in her heart on realizing that he was not treating her callously and carelessly anymore, and was ready to put in some effort for her sake, Mallika couldn't stop her smile at this question as she replied,

"Number hai tumhare paas…"

A/N Hello guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter, and that you have read the previous chapter on Wattpad too. We hoped to show a contrast between how Rudhi needed to initiate physical intimacy to strengthen their emotional bond, and how MalTuk needed to eliminate any physical intimacy to reconnect on the emotional level. I personally disliked how MalTuk and Mallika suffered due to lack of time, and wanted to add some character depth.

Also, special thanks to Saffi! Her portrayal of Batuk in My Destination, My Bondita immensely helped in developing our Batuk, especially his own views on love, romance, intimacy and relationships.

Please do let us know how you liked it.

Originally posted by: Ashley_m

Hello all! Since chapter 6 has Mature content, I am not going to be posting it here. Please check out the chapter on the link below.

https://www.wattpad.com/1169316021-setting-it-right-a-batuk-anirudh-bondita-kaka/page/5

Fifty shades of pink!! 😳

Perfect blending of sweetness and hotness! ❤

Originally posted by: Ashley_m

Chapter 7- His Personal Inferno!

22nd November 1942, Deenpur City Hospital

Batuk Roy Chaudhary had never felt so hopeless before. Not when he effectively lost his father, not when Big D sent him to Italy, not even when he believed that Big D was dead.

And everything had been going so so well… while Big D was still distant, he had come back, he had promised to be there for Batuk and help him recover. And for the past two days, he had been there, supervising each and every aspect of his treatment. But today, it all imploded.

Batuk was now able to breathe and speak properly, and the doctor had said he would be discharged the next day. But that evening, Big D had asked him to recount the events of the last 6 months. It had been extremely difficult recounting each and every one of his deeds over the past 6 months, seeing exactly how much Big D was hurting on hearing of them. But what had cut Batuk to the core were his Dada's parting words.

"Wajah jo bhi ho, Kaka ne chahe kuch bhi kaha ho, par saari kuraafat tumhari sochi hui thi, saare gunaah tumne kiye thay, apni marzi se!! Socho Batuk, tumne jo kuch bhi kiya, kya woh kisi bhi tarah se Humane bhi kehlata? Kya badla itna bada hou gaya tha tumhare liye, ke tum insaniyat tak bhul gaye?"

Batuk never felt smaller than he did at these words, and at Big D's hurt, disappointed gaze as he said them.

I disappointed my Big D. He thinks I don't deserve to be called human.

Accompanying the guilt, was the fear. He was afraid that he finally managed to push

his Big D away permanently…

That he had succeeded in making his Big D so upset…

So upset that he might not return to him now.

So upset that his Big D would not even want to see his face even if he died!

The extremely depressing thoughts were wreaking havoc in his already frail state of mind.

He was feeling as if he was sinking in a deep, dark, lonely and cold ocean. He felt as if he had hit the bottom. He desperately wanted to rise up to the surface, but he felt as if some unseen chains were holding him down. Something was keeping him submerged…making him fight for his life…making him feel hypoxic… making him feel as if he would just die!

Closing his eyes, he gave up the battle with the chains and the ocean going on in his mind. He was stuck in that abyss...all alone.

Helplessly waiting for his death now, he tried to think of all the people he loved, one last time.

His hyperactive mind started conjuring up the images of all the people he cared for. A reel of past memories started flashing in front of his eyes.

He saw almost everyone...

Big D

Bondita

His niece and nephew

Sampoo Maa

Som Dada

Baba

Shashwati…

He even saw his Kaka's face that stirred up extremely bitter memories…

And then he saw her face.

His eyes shot open and a gasp escaped his mouth on seeing her beautiful face once again.

A soft smile adorned his lips as he breathed her name fondly,

Mallika… My Mallika Baby…

The beautiful memories of their relationship flashed in front of his eyes.

He never showed it to her, but he acknowledged her presence in his life and cared for her deeply. More than his lover, she had been a close friend, privy to some of his darkest secrets and she even turned his partner in crime too.

His fond memories suddenly halted as the recollection of how he had thrown her out of his house a while ago surfaced to his mind.

Flinching at how he had treated her then, his heart suddenly felt extremely ill at ease. He didn't know why, all of the sudden he was feeling so restless.

And that was when his eyes landed on the telephone lying on the small table adjacent to his hospital bed.

He didn't know what came over him. Acting on their accord, his fingers dialed a number…

And an inexplicable relief settled over his veering and extremely messed up emotions as he heard the familiar voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Mallika? It's me…"

He barely whispered as a lone tear slipped from his eye.

He didn't know why Mallika's voice had managed to pull him out of those unseen shackles of his mind.

Her voice had somehow miraculously brought him back to the surface…

He could breathe now…

He didn't know why he was feeling so relieved on hearing her voice.

However, her next words doused all his emotions in a jiffy!

"BRC? You have some nerve… Mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni!"

She was angry...very angry! And Batuk's heart missed a beat as his sudden fear of abandonment consumed him again.

Trying desperately to make peace with her, he pleaded,

"Mallika Baby, please don't hang up… I really need you right now…"

He heard her scoffing off from the other end, followed by her angry outburst,

"Of course, jab tak tumhe zarurat nahi hoti, tab tak tum mujhe ignore karte ho, aur bhatakte ho bhanwre ki tarah iss ladki se uss ladki ke paas. Mai koi toy nahi hun Batuk, ke jab chahe use kiya, and jab chahe utha ke phenk diya. Mai bhi insaan hun, meri bhi feelings hain, mera bhi heartbreak hota hai. Mien tum se kyun baat kerun abh Batuk? Takay tum mujhe hamesha ki terha use ker ke phir se discard ker dou. Sunn lou, mien aisa nahi kerun gy abh. Mien tum jaise toxic insan se baat nahi kerna chahty. Got it!"

Mallika's hateful words crushed all the emotional vulnerabilities of Batuk. And hearing all these negative words pulled out the rude and callous BRC out in a flash. The urge to hurt her back was quite powerful as he yelled back indignantly,

"Toxic insan? Mien? Are you in your senses Mallika? Mien ager toxic hun tou tum khud kia ho? Aur kia kaha tumne? Mien 'use' kerta tha tumhien?"

Pausing to catch his breath, he continued bitterly,

"Ager mien use kerta tha na, tou tum bhi mujhe use kerty thyn. Miene kabhi tumse koi loyalty ke waade nahi kiye thay. Humaara rishta kabhi bhi exclusive nahi tha. Mien hamesha se hi aisa tha...jaise tumne kaha...Bhanwra… Lekin phir bhi tum ne mere qareeb anay ki koshish ki. Italy se India agayee...mere ghar mien zabardasti agayee. Miene tumse kabhi koi pyar ke jhoote waade nahi kiye thay. Miene tum se kabhi nahi kaha tha ke tum mujhse kisi qisam ki koi umeedien lagao. Mager tum ko yeh enough nahi tha. It was you who wanted more, not I."

His heartbeats were getting erratic now as he said his next words,

"Ager mien toxic hun, tou tum bhi kam nahi ho. Tum tou criminal ho Mallika. Bhool gai ho tou yaad dilaon ke kis terha tumne mere big D ke bacchay ko marne ki koshish ki thy. Tumko pata tha ke woh baby mere liye mere Big D ki akhri nishani tha uss waqt. You knew how attached I was to that baby. Lekin tum ne aik second ke liye bhi nahi socha tha usko marne ki koshish kerne se pehle."

He heard a small gasp from the other end followed by a low sniffle.

He stopped...feeling confused.

Is Mallika crying?

He thought to wait for her reply, but then his earlier guilt came back to him. Feeling his burst of anger suddenly draining, he quietly said,

"Mallika… ager mien ghalat tha tou tum bhi ghalat thyn. Miene tumhien ghar se bhi isi liye nikaala tha… jiska mujhe abh afsos hota hai. I shouldn't have done that. But I was so angry that time. Even now, it makes me furious. I could have handed you over to the police also. Was I wrong Mallika? Tum ne bhi tou mere big D ke bacchay ko marne jaisa paap kerne ki koshish ki thy na. Tum hi kaho, what choice did I have?"

A dead silence fell over the line as Mallika's breath hitched in her chest on hearing Batuk's indignant accusation.

He was right...of course.

Mallika quietened on the recollection of the horrible crime that she had tried to commit.

Out of her possessiveness and jealousy, she had stooped so low that she had been about to turn into a killer!

The guilt was never-ending.

She had left the RC mansion a while ago, but the memories of her wretched deeds kept her awake on most nights in Delhi, at her parents' house where she was staying now.

She had vowed that she would confess to her crime in front of Bondita... but she couldn't agonize an already traumatized pregnant lady more, especially at this point of her pregnancy.

The silence was getting really long as she was lost in her thoughts.

On the other end, Batuk was getting restless. Feeling his anger surging again on her quietude, he snapped,

"Mallika? Bloody hell say something!"

A sigh escaped her mouth as Batuk heard her voice over the phone, with all it's earlier anger gone, and now laced with tears and remorse as she said,

"I know Batuk. Miene waqai paap kia tha. I know ke Mushrooms daalna was wrong… By God pata nahi kya soch rahi thi mai tab. Mager yaqeen kero Batuk, miene soch rakha hai ke mien Bondita ko sab sach bataongy. Aur woh jo saza dena chahay gy, mien seh lun gy. Bass next month uski delivery hojanay dou. Phir mien uss ke samnay sab confess ker du gy jo kuch miene kia , and kyun kiya and I will apologize also."

He was expecting her to arrogantly deny what he had said. But her words and the way she spoke now doused all the residual flames of his anger too. His emotions were completely messed up. One moment he was snarling at Mallika, and the next moment he felt like crying … wanting to open his heart in front of his friend with whom, as his heart told him time and again that he had done something wrong somewhere along the line too. Surprisingly, when his head had been full of shit, his heart still managed to try to tell him the right things.

Sadly, he had ignored his heart all along.

A heaviness settled on his chest as he realized that he had one friend, but now, even she was not there anymore. She was drowning in her own sorrows.

He didn't know what he wanted to do with her now. She had been wrong...he had been wrong… When everything was wrong then why did he still want to continue talking to her?

Wondering the same, after a pause, he said in an even tone,

"Mallika, next month ka wait karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Thanks to the immense stress I put her under, Bondita went into early labor. After a near-death experience, she delivered twins...a son and a daughter!"

Hearing the good news, she exclaimed,

"Oh wow, Batuk...That's awesome! Tum toh bahut khush hoge na? And Bondita? Woh theek hai na ab?"

A small smile coming on his lips as he felt her genuine happiness on this news, he said lightly,

"Of course! Mien buht khush hun. Buht cute hain woh bachay. Bondita bhi ab buht khushi hogy."

And then, recalling something, he said,

"Arey Mallika, aik aur bhi good news hai. Bataoon?"

She sensed his excitement through the line, and a smile adorning her lips, she replied,

"Of course… batao na?"

Feeling elated all of the sudden, they were like two kids. Their fight was big… they had wronged each other… but somehow, they had found back some pieces of their original camaraderie now.

Batuk was happy that he could share his feelings with someone… At least there was one person who still was listening to him.So, without wasting the opportunity, he excitedly said,

"Mallika, you won't believe this. Pata hai, Big D is back! Woh zinda hain! He was alive all along. Tumhe pata hai, Bondita ne mujhe uss din kaha tha, that ager woh zinda hai, matlab uske Pati Babu bhi zinda hai…I had laughed at her whimsy… but she was right!"

A shocked gasp escaped Mallika's mouth on hearing this.

"WHATTT?? Wow man! That's really great Batuk, ghar pe sab buht khush honge na?"

The mere mention of "ghar" suddenly dampened his spirits. Trying hard not to make his anguish evident, he said,

"Haan, I am sure ab sab khush hi honge."

His response struck her as odd. And so, she asked,

"You are sure ke sab khush honge! Iska kia Matlab hai Batuk, you don't know?"

For the 2nd time during this call, a dead silence fell over. When he didn't reply for a few seconds, Mallika asked again,

"Batuk, kia hua? Sab theek haina?"

Heaving a deep breath, he finally replied, his voice thick with emotion.

"Nahi Mallika, sab theek nahi hai. Mien theek nahi hun. Big D asked me to leave the house. After all, maine unki Bondita ko maarne ki koshish ki thi na… Woh bhi ek nahi dou baar. Mai yahan hospital mein pada hu, yeh sochte hue ke kal jab mujhe discharge milega, tou mai kahan jaunga?"

When he had kicked her out of his house, she had firmly decided that she would never ever think about him again.

When his call came out of the blue, she was caught off guard. She had tried to show him how furious she was, and she was sure that she still didn't want to do anything with him again, but over the course of their conversation, somehow they had slipped back into the easy friendship that was between them.

They were many things to each other… but she knew that at the core of their complicated relationship, their friendship was still special.

And so, hearing what happened to him after they had broken apart, her heart that she had deliberately turned into ice started thawing.

Giving up, she asked worriedly,

"Tum hospital mien kyun ho, Batuk?"

Sighing, feeling like a real loser, he replied in voice filled with self-loathing,

"Kuch nahi Mallika. I drank so much to drown all my sorrows and my misplaced anger that I ended up with alcohol poisoning. Kisi naik insan ne club se mujhe rescue kia tha by chance. Aur bass… tab se yahan pada hun… coma wagera ki nobat agayee thy. My scary nurse told me that the docs were really worried. Sochta hun, marr hi jata tou accha hota. Abh yun uss khatarnak nurse se ghabra ker tumko tou na pareeshan kerta na!"

His last remark was to lighten the mood somehow.

Acknowledging his effort, hiding the deep pang of anguish she felt on hearing about his health, she asked softly,

"Are you lonely, Batuk? Wahan koi bhi nahi hai kia?"

He didn't reply immediately. Instead, after choosing his words carefully, he decided that she deserved this much,

"Abhi akela nahi hun. Tum se baat ker rha hun tou akela nahi feel ker rha. You are making me feel better, Mallika."

Mallika's heart pounded heavily in her chest on hearing his quiet revelation.

She had known him as a very blunt, rude, self-obsessed man who used to address himself as BRC.

But talking to him today, Mallika had the strangest feeling that his BRC mask had slipped off, and she was finally seeing the real Batuk.

She had always suspected that the callous BRC had a better version somewhere in the depths of the depths of his personality.

And the person she was talking to now, despite the fact that he really had called her when he needed her, but she still didn't feel as if she was being used.

Instead...she felt…

Strangely nice!

And so, she gently asked,

"Kia Big D buht naraz hain? Woh aye bhi nahi tum se milne?"

Reacting to her gentleness and care, his heart felt like it was melting.

This was special...his mind told him

She was special...his heart told him

Trying to recover from the intensity of these emotions that he was feeling, he replied to her question,

"No no… Big D aaye na… woh roz aate thay… but aaj mujhe unhe batana pada ke maine past 6 months mein kya kya kiya unki pyaari Bondita ke saath."

His voice cracking now, he said,

"Mallika, Big D was so hurt! Meri wajeh se mere Big D itna ziada dukhi hogaye thay. Aur honge bhi kyun nahi? Mallika, he saw me trying to burn his wife down… pata nahi kia hogya tha mujhe… I kidnapped two newborn babies just to make Bondita suffer. And then I locked everyone in the house while trying to set fire around Bondita. Big D saw me doing all that. Aur abh unko sab pata hai ke mien kitna gir gaya tha. I think, abh sab over ho gaya hai, woh ab wapis nahi aayenge...meri shakal bhi nahi dekhenge shayad…"

Mallika had nothing to say to that. She was feeling an intense amount of sorrow on what she heard just now. She could understand how the callous BRC must have completely overcome the nicer version, Batuk.

Now that she was finally meeting this Batuk, she knew instinctively that he wasn't capable of harming anyone like that. But his other version, the cold, animalistic BRC who had thrown her out of the house too, was indeed capable enough to kill someone.

Feeling just very sad for her friend, she finally said after a gap,

"Batuk, abh kia socha hai tumne? Kia kerou ge?"

He was lost in thought for a while. And then he said,

"I don't know. My heart says that I should say sorry to the people whom I have wronged. Lekin Mallika, Kya sirf sorry kehne se, apologize karne se, sab pehle jaisa hou jaata hai ? Sab kuch thik hou jaata hai kya?"

After some careful contemplation, she replied,

"I don't know Batuk… I think it depends on humari mistake kya hai… Papa says that apologize karne se apna hi burden kam hota hai, but agar humnein koi damage kiya hou, to usko repair karne ki bhi try karni chahiye…"

"And agar damage repair nahi kar paaye tou?"

"Toh I guess bas sacche mann se Sorry bol dou… And umeed rakho ke saamne waala forgive kar de…"

Her advice was sound...logical.

It gave him a little ounce of hope as he asked, hesitantly,

"Mallika… Humare beech ka damage repair ho sakta hai kya?"

At this point he didn't know what he wanted to fix, the friendship they shared, or the relationship she wanted. He didn't even know if deep down, he also wanted something more than friendship?

All he knew at this moment was that he couldn't bear more damage in his already crumbling life. And he really, really needed Mallika there with him...in her most original and sweet role...that of a real friend.

He waited for her reply with his breath caught in chest.

Finally, after a while, he heard her quiet voice,

"I don't know Batuk. Humare beech ka damage repair hoskta hai ya nahi, iske liye I think humein pehle figure out karna padega ke damage kya hua hai, and kitna hua hai, and agar isey fix karne mein koi point hai bhi ya nahi?"

Releasing his breath now, he understood her stance as he said,

"I think you are right… Mujhe pehle wajeh dhoondni hogy. Lekin Mallika, Agar mujhe ye damage fix karne ki wajeh mil jaaye, toh kya mai tumhe call kar sakta hu?"

Feeling a spurt of joy bursting in her heart on realizing that he was not treating her callously and carelessly anymore, and was ready to put in some effort for her sake, Mallika couldn't stop her smile at this question as she replied,

"Number hai tumhare paas…"

A/N Hello guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter, and that you have read the previous chapter on Wattpad too. We hoped to show a contrast between how Rudhi needed to initiate physical intimacy to strengthen their emotional bond, and how MalTuk needed to eliminate any physical intimacy to reconnect on the emotional level. I personally disliked how MalTuk and Mallika suffered due to lack of time, and wanted to add some character depth.

Also, special thanks to Saffi! Her portrayal of Batuk in My Destination, My Bondita immensely helped in developing our Batuk, especially his own views on love, romance, intimacy and relationships.

Please do let us know how you liked it.

Beautiful chapter! ❤️❤️

Loved the conversation between Monkey and Titli 🤗

Their equation is nice but a bit immature too. The change of tone from initial anger and accusations to the usual teasing and taunting was so smooth and good.

Mallika gave a ray of hope for Batuk that he may be able to solve all the mess he had created.

He is still a little offended with Ani's "pyaari Bon"😆

Liked the open ending ❤️

Chapter 8: On the way to making Amends

23rd November 1942, Tulsipur

Batuk inhaled deeply as the jeep sped through the streets of Tulsipur. He didn't remember the last time that he was so happy. Last night's conversation with Mallika had lit a little ember of hope in him. Hope that maybe all was not lost, that somehow, he could clean this mess, and that everything would be alright if he tried hard enough.

The ember blazed further when he woke up this morning to see his Big D in the room, discussing his medication with the doctor for when he was to be discharged. He could only stare as Big D carefully listened to the doctor, signed the discharge forms and turned to him.

"Kapde badal ke reception pe aa jao." He said curtly, gesturing to the clothes lying on the chair next to him, before turning and briskly walking out of the room.

Batuk shouldn't have been so surprised. After all, his Big D was a good man. He wouldn't have abandoned anyone like that. Plus, Big D had promised to help him get better, and Big D always kept his promises. However, Batuk was under no delusions of being forgiven. Big D may be taking him home, but he had not spoken a word to him apart from short instructions to get in the car. Batuk too, had not taken any initiative to break the silence, not knowing what was the right thing to say. Despite Mallika saying that an apology would work, somehow, this time a simple "Sorry" didn't seem enough.

He was roused from his musings when the car stopped. He looked around to see that instead of the Roy Chaudhary Haveli they were at the other kothi belonging to the family, across the backyard of the Haveli. Batuk looked at Big D in surprise.

"Big D aap…"

"Tumhara ilaaj chal raha hou tab tak tum yahan rahoge. Mai nahi chahta ke poori tarah theek hone se pehle, tum kisi aise ke saath sampark mein raho jo tumhare ilaaj mein rukawat paida karein, na hi unn logon se jinko tum nuqsaan pahucha sako…"

Big D may not have named anyone, but Batuk understood. Batuk had understood in the last few days that his kaka, Trilochan Roy Chaudhary was wrong, Big D would never be unhappy about anything his pyaari Bondita ever did.

Batuk now understood that his kaka had used him as a pawn, to mitigate his own complaints about his Bahu. And today Kaka could definitely hinder his treatment.

This much he comprehended well and somewhat agreed with too, but the second reason hurt him like anything!

His Big D was now under the impression that he, his own little brother, his blood and flesh had become a threat to Bondita, the babies and the family!

Although Batuk was really hurt, he didn't blame his Big D for his misconception. After all, he had given him enough reasons to think that way too! He had proven dangerous to them all.

His train of thoughts and self-incriminations halted by the next set of instructions by his brother who was looking ahead, instead of looking at him, his face wearing extremely serious and completely business-like expressions.

"Tumhari dawaiyyan samay se lena zaroori hai, ab se tumhara khana, peena, sona sab pe nazar rahegi meri. Dawa dene mai khud aaunga. Baaki ka ilaaj tab shuru hoga jab dawai ki tumhe aadat padegi. Ramu..." He gestured to the manservant standing at the main door. "yahin pe hoga aur tumhe koi bhi madad chahiye tou usko poochh lena."

Pausing to let it all sink, Anirudh adjusted his glasses, and this time, as if it was difficult for him to look at his face, he looked into his eyes, and with emphasis on each and every word, he said,

"Ek zaruri baat dhiyan se suno, Tupur aur Tapur ke kamre pashchimi hisse mein hai isiliye tumhe purvi vibhaag mein rakha gaya hai. Isse kisiko asuvidha nahi hogi."

That gave Batuk a jolt.

Bondita ki sisters abhi bhi yahin hai? Big D and Bondita unhe wapis Haveli nahi le gaye?

"Ek minute Big D… Bondita ki sisters yahaan reh rahi hai?"

"Kyun? Bhul gaye? Tumhine tou unhe yahan rehne ko kaha tha na?"

The sarcasm in Big D's tone caused another wave of guilt to wash over him. This wasn't his Big D. This was Barrister Anirudh Roy Chaudhary, and Batuk understood how criminals felt when he cross-questioned them.

"Haa, but I thought aap unhe wapis… "

"Chahta tou mai bhi yahi tha, magar aashirwad pe jo hua, uske baad woh Kaka aur Somnath se doori banaye rakhna chahti hai."

This titbit of information made his guilt intensify further. But apparently, Big D wasn't done.

"Ek baat mai pehle se saaf saaf kehna chahta hu Batuk, Tapur aur Tupur sirf Bondita ki behene nahi hai. Woh meri bhi behene hai. Toh unke saath ab kuch bhi galat nahi hona chahiye, warna mujhse bura koi nahi hoga"

This warning changed Batuk's guilt to indignation.

What does Big D think I am capable of?

"Big D, you know I would never… "

"Mujhe bhi nahi laga tha Batuk ke mujhe tumse ye sab kehna padega. Magar ab tum kya kar sakte ho aur kya nahi iska mujhe kuch bhi andaza nahi raha."

Shaking his head in disappointment, he stepped out of the car, and without looking at him, ordered,

"Chalo andar."

With that, Anirudh picked up Batuk's bag and walked into the house. As Batuk scrambled to follow him, his heart hurt as he realised that he had lost his Big D's trust, and that it would definitely be an uphill task to regain it. However he would try until his last breath to set everything right, if that was what it took to get his Big D back.

23rd November, 1942, Roy Chaudhary Haveli

Making Sampoorna didi sit near her babies, Bondita stepped out of her room and was going towards the kitchen to warm some water for the babies' sponge bathing.

She was still learning how to handle both the babies simultaneously, but she was very thankful to Anirudh who was always there to help her with the kids.

However, at this time almost daily he used to go out for a while, and Bondita assumed that he used to go to see Batuk at the hospital.

After their confrontation a few days ago when Anirudh had apologized to her and told her that he wouldn't abandon Batuk regardless of every crime he committed, Bondita had completely understood his stance and had told him that she was okay with it. Anirudh had been extremely thankful to her, and he had even told her that she had all the right to not talk or meet Batuk all her life if she wanted. He even told her that he would understand if Bondita couldn't forgive Batuk too.

But Bondita had asked for some time, and Anirudh had promised that he would always support her in all her decisions.

So, now when Anirudh used to step out of the house, leaving her side around this time daily, she understood that it was perhaps related to Batuk only. She didn't ask him, and he didn't tell her anything. However, he did tell her a little bit about his health and how he needed help until his treatment would continue. He had told Bondita that he was going to settle him in Roy Chaudhary's Kothi nearby, and Bondita had felt a great deal of apprehension on this information.

She had even argued with him,

"Pati babu, wahan tou Tapur Tupur bhi hain. Wahan Batuk kaise reh sakta hai? Should we bring Tapur Tupur here? Ya unka koi aur intizaam ker dien? Kyunki Batuk ke sath tou…"

Anirudh had listened to her patiently, and understood all her concerns. He had lovingly held her to him and promised,

"I have thought it all through, Jaan. I know Batuk ki wajeh se Tupur Tapur uncomfortable hongy. Miene isi liye pehle hi unko humare haveli wapis lanay ki koshish ki thy. Lekin unhone refuse ker dia tha. Mien Batuk ko yahan laana nahi chahta aur ziada duur bhi nahi rakhna chahta. Otherwise mien uski medical treatment supervise nahi ker sakun ga. Miene isi liye Tapur Tupur se baat ki aur meri behnon ne hi yeh sujhaav dia ke kothi ka aik portion Batuk ko de dein jahan wih dono nahi ayeingy, aur iss terha unka samna Batuk se nahi hoga. I have arranged a separate servant also for him. So, I think itna masla nahi hoga."

Bondita was still a little apprehensive, but understanding her Pati Babu's point of view too, she quietened and prayed in her heart that nothing untoward happened with Batuk, Tupur and Tapur staying under the same roof.

Besides this, she didn't talk to Anirudh about Batuk. Anirudh also didn't share much details about Batuk's health as he didn't want Bondita to feel bad or pressured to sympathize with Batuk even when in her heart, she didn't feel like it.

After they had talked to each other at length, most of her symptoms of post traumatic stress had been alleviated. Anirudh's love-filled care was the key to bring her back to normalcy. However, she still had some serious apprehensions where her kids were concerned.

She would try not to leave them alone for one second even. Mostly she had Anirudh there with the kids. But when he used to go out, she would call Sampoorna didi to her room, and together, they would bathe the kids and Sampoorna would keep her company until Anirudh returned.

That day also, Bondita was on her way to the kitchen when she heard the phone ringing in the lounge.

She waited for a few seconds to see if Bihaari or Kaka would receive the call as she didn't want to waste time away from her kids.

When no one came out, heaving a sigh, she went to take the call.

"Hello…"

When no one responded, Bondita again said, this time in an impatient tone,

"Hello… aap kon hain? Please thoda jaldi baat kijiye na."

Still, no one spoke, making her more agitated. She was about to put the receiver back on the cradle when she heard a sniffle, and then a hoarse female voice saying,

"Bondita…"

Trying to identify the caller, a frown marred her forehead as she replied,

"Jee...mien Bondita baat ker rhy hun. Aap kon hain?"

She heard a sharp intake of breath from the other side, and then she heard the sweet voice that somehow felt familiar,

"Bondita...it's me… Mallika."

A smile dawned on her lips as she exclaimed,

"Mallika… tum!!! Kaisi ho? Aur itne achanak se tum chali gayee thyn. Mujhse mili bhi nahi. My God!! Where are you Mallika? Sab theek haina?"

Smiling on Bondita's excitement, Mallika wiped her tears and said,

"Bondita… I missed you. Mien Roy Chaudhary house se nikal ker yahan, Delhi aagayee thy apne mummy papa ke pas. In a few days, I will go back to Italy. Lekin uss se pehle mujhe tum se baat kerni thy."

Bondita sensed a hesitation in her voice this time, and oddly enough, she sounded as if she had been crying.

Feeling concerned for her, Bondita asked worriedly,

"Mallika, sab theek tou hai? Tum bolo, mujhse kia kehna chahty thyn tum? Kaho na, I am listening."

Taking a deep breath, Mallika gathered courage as she spoke in the phone,

"Bondita...sab se pehle tou I want to congratulate you on the birth of twins.I hope you and the kids are doing well. And also...Mubarak ho Bondita, Anirudh dada bhi wapis aagaye hain."

At the mention of her babies and her Pati Babu, her earlier worry ebbed a little as she replied,

"Thank you Mallika… That's really nice of you. Lekin tumhien kaise pata chala ke mere twins hue hain aur Pati Babu…"

And then, a sudden realization dawned on her as a deep frown creased her forehead.

Of course!!! Mallika must have found out through Batuk!!!

Iska matlab Batuk abhi bhi mere bacchon ki baatien ker rha hai! Kia woh abhi bhi iss koshish mien hai ke moka milte hi woh unko mujhse duur ker de?

Suddenly feeling panicked, Bondita asked,

"Mallika… kia Batuk ne tumko bola hai ke tum mere bacchon ki khabar usko batao? Please, sach bolna Mallika."

And then, another thought crossed her mind:

Yeh Mallika… Yeh tou Batuk ki dost hi thy. Isko tou sab pata hoga pehle se hi. Isne bhi tou dhoka dia mujhe!

And she blurted angrily,

"Abh kia tum aur tumhara Batuk mere bacchon ke peeche aise hi laga rahien ga? Tum… Tum uski accomplice thyn na? How I trusted you and how you played with me! Aur abh phir agayee ho samnay…"

Mallika could hear the fear of a mother who saw her babies getting kidnapped by none other than their own uncle in Bondita's voice.

Her heart squeezed in pain for Bondita and she could completely understand where she was coming from now. And so, she hurriedly said,

"Nahi nahi Bondita...aisa kuch nahi hai. Mien sach bol rhy hun. Please believe me. Mien yeh zarur janti thy ke Batuk hi Anirudh dada bannay ka drama ker raha tha, lekin mien kidnapping ke plan mien uski accomplice nahi thy. I never knew ke woh aisa kuch kerne wala tha. I swear Bondita...tumhari Dugga maa ki qasam, I am not lying. "

Sighing, Bondita tried to control her trembling heart and compose herself, and then she said,

"Okay Mallika… tum apne dost ko bhi samjha dena. Pati Babu abh dobara apne bacchon ke sath ya mere sath kuch ghalat hota dekh ker bardasht nahi kerien ge. Kher... tum yeh batao ke tumne kia baat kerne ke liye phone kia hai?"

Bondita's voice had lost all the earlier friendliness, and this was making it more difficult for Mallika to say what she wanted to.

Mustering courage again, Mallika finally spoke, her voice breaking as she said,

"Bondita, mujhe nahi pata ke meri Batuk se dobara baat hogy ya nahi, mager I am quite sure ke woh abh kuch ghalat nahi kere ga tum loagon ke sath. Miene actually tumhien iss liye call kia tha… kyunki...mujhe tum se maafi maangni thy."

Astonishment slashing across her features, she asked,

"Maafi? Kis baat ki?"

In response, she heard a sniffle from the other end, followed by Mallika's quivering voice as she said,

"Bondita, miene aik paap kia hai. Tum pooch rahy thy na ke mien Roy Chaudhary haveli se aik damm achanak kyun chali gai thy?"

Pausing for a bit, inhaling sharply, she said,

"Bondita, mujhe actually mere crime ki saza mien Batuk ne ghar se nikala tha."

A gasp escaped Bondita's mouth. She was about to say something when Mallika continued,

"Aur Batuk ne sahi hi tou kia tha. I deserved a far worse punishment for what I did to you."

A dead silence fell over the line, and Bondita's heart suddenly felt as if it had just got frozen. She understood that Mallika's crime must have been horrible enough for a callous and heartless man like Batuk to react that way.

Trying to muster strength, she managed to compose her veering emotions, and in a quiet, calculated voice, she asked,

"What did you do, Mallika?"

Her voice shaking with fear and anguish this time, she blurted out,

"Bondita, miene tumhare bacchon ko maarne ki koshish ki thy. Miene sab jantay boojhte hue ke mushrooms kisi pregnant lady ka miscarriage kerwa sakte hain...miene phir bhi tumhare khanay mien mushrooms daalay takay tumhara miscarriage ho jaye. I… I am so sorry Bondita. Ager Batuk ne sahi samay per tumhien woh khana khanay se nahi roka hota tou aaj… Bondita… "

Unable to speak further, she started crying bitterly.

It took all the effort in the world for Bondita to keep standing on her feet and not drop dead at such horrifying news.

Her eyes brimming with tears, she clutched the receiver tightly until her knuckles turned white, and then she whispered brokenly,

"Kyun kia aisa tumne, Mallika? Meri goad kyun ujaadni chahi tumne? Kia mil jata iss se tumko? Miene tou tumhare sath genuinely hamesha achai hi ki thy… mager tum…"

She also couldn't say anything more as she silently burst into tears.

"Bondita, I am really sorry. Mien jealous hogai thy. Batuk jis terha baby ke liye utaavla rehta tha, tumhare liye woh mujhe ignore kerta tha… mien uss sab se jealous hogai thy. Miene buht dafa try kia ki tumko hint de dun ke jisko tum apna Pati samajhty ho woh mera Batuk hai, lekin meri sari koshishien fail hogai. Aakhir mien mujhe bass yeh laga ke Batuk ka attention tum per se hatanay ke liye mujhe baby ko hi hatana paday ga. I swear Bondita, mujhe tumse koi masla nahi tha… Mera bas apna dimagh kharab hogya tha. Mien apne pyar ke chakkar mien itni andhi hogai thy ke sahi ghalat sab kuch bhool gai thy. Mien Batuk ke liye kuch bhi kerne ko tayyar hogai thy...chahay phir mien Killer hi kyun na bann jaty. Lekin iski saza mujhe mili, Bondita."

Pausing, Mallika clutched the receiver tightly, and splaying her other hand on her heart as if trying to pick it's torn pieces, she said brokenly,

"Jiske liye mien aik normal ladki se aik murderer bannay ko tayyar hogai thy na, usi Batuk ne mujhe raat ke waqt haath pakad ke ghar se baahir nikaal dia tha. Usne meri aik bhi nahi suni thy...I was broken...shattered. Jis pyar ke liye mien itna gir gai thy, woh pyar mera tha hi nahi. I realized my folly there and then. Mera Batuk se sab contact khatam hogya tha. Miene soch lia tha ki abh uske beghair hi rehna hoga. I was trying to move on. Aik tou dil tootne ki taklif… pyar chhootne ki taklif. Mujhe iss sab se tumhara khayal aata tha. I knew how much you loved Anirudh dada. Aur abh jab woh nahi thay, tou unka baby hi tumhara sahara hota. Lekin miene apni selfishness mien yeh sab jantay hue bhi tumse tumhara pyar ka sahara cheenna chaha tha. I… I cannot believe miene yeh sab kia. And now the guilt…Bondita...this guilt is not letting me live now. Mien tabhi tumko call ker ke sab batana chahty thy, mager phir mujhe khayal aaya ki tumhare liye yeh khabar aur iska stress theek nahi hoga. Iss liye, I was waiting for December jab tumhari delivery originally due thy. Lekin mujhe kal Batuk ka phone aaya… aik damm out of the blue. And he told me that you had a premature delivery. Iss liye miene tumhien phone kia aaj. "

Taking a deep breath, she could hear sniffles from Bondita's end. They were making her guiltier with each passing second, and so, she said, her voice ringing with sincerity,

"Bondita… mere guilt se nikalne ke liye mujhe tumhari maafi chahiye. Tum jo saza bhi dena chaho, de sakty ho. Mien tumhari maafi ke liye har punishment accept kerne ke liye ready hun."

Bondita had a thousand things running in her mind. She wanted to scream...she wanted to curse...she wanted to hurl insults at Mallika...she wanted to hit her hard even… But then, she was Bondita Roy Chaudhary- she had been in extremely turbulent situations all her life, and she had learned how to control her emotions in such trying times.

She also knew how to put herself in the other person's shoes to understand their point of view.

And Bondita knew what jealousy and possessiveness could make people do!

After all, she had had a first-hand experience!

She now had a beautiful life with Anirudh. They both loved each other crazily. But she had seen many ups and downs in her marital life. And although now everything was alright, there was once a point where Anirudh had fake-married Manorama and Bondita herself had felt the fire that jealousy was...and how it had consumed her whole back then, so many years ago.

She sighed as her self-awareness hit her like a bucket of ice cold water. It doused all her anger at Mallika, and replaced it with empathy and an extreme anguish. She still couldn't sympathize with Mallika, but she understood how it must have been for her.

So, with a herculean effort, wiping her tears, she spoke in a composed but firm tone,

"I cannot forgive you just like that, Mallika. Jo tumne kia, woh buht ghalat tha. I can't forget this even. Reh gai saza ki baat...tou mien attempt to murder ka case bhi ker sakty hun tum per, lekin mien aisa nahi kerun gy kyunki… "

Her voice breaking now as she reluctantly acknowledged,

"Kyunki Batuk ne tumko woh crime nahi kerne dia tha. Mien Batuk se chahay kitni bhi naraz hojaon, yeh uska ehsaan rahay ga hi mujh per ke uss ne mere bacchon ki uss time raksha ki thy jab mien ya unke apne baba unki rakhsha nahi ker patay. Lekin Mallika, iss ka yeh matlab nahi hai ki miene Batuk ko maaf ker dia hai. Nah… No. Naa hi miene Batuk ko maaf kia hai, naa hi tumhien. I need time to find it in my heart to think about forgiving you both, Mallika. Tum dono aik team thay. Tumko Batuk ka babies ko kidnap kerne ka plan shayad nahi pata hoga, but you were his accomplice for most of the time. Tumne ager mujhe Batuk ka sach batane ki koshish ki bhi thy tou woh tumhare apne nefarious reasons ki wajeh se tha...naa ki mere liye koi humdardi ki wajeh se. So, don't expect me to give you a discount on that. Mien itni asani se maaf nahi ker sakty tum loagon ko. So, please, don't expect this from me."

Mallika's eyes clenched shut as she tried to control herself from breaking apart.

She understood Bondita's each and every word. And she appreciated her for even listening to what she had done and still replying to her without cursing her like anyone else would have done.

Mallika knew that her crime was unforgivable, and so, she said quietly this time,

"I understand, Bondita. Mien tumhien force nahi kerun gy ke tum mujhe aur Batuk ko maaf kero. Yeh nirnay sirf tumhara hona chahiye. Mien Batuk ke liye tou kuch nahi kahun gy, aur apni vakaalat ke liye mere pas koi shabdh hain nahi. I will just say...that I will keep trying to earn your forgiveness someday. I will never stop hoping that one day, you may find it in your heart to forgive me. I will wait for that day till the end of my life, Bondita."

Her anguish was engulfing her completely as she acknowledged that she would probably have to live her entire life with this soul-crushing guilt. She knew that Bondita would not say anything now. She had already said whatever she wanted to say, so, feeling hopeless, she was about to end the call when she heard Bondita's calm voice from the other end as she said,

"Ruko, Mallika… tum ko meri maafi chahiye na? Buht desperate ho na tum uske liye?"

A tiny spark of hope flared in her heart as she sincerely replied,

"Haan Bondita… I will do anything to earn your forgiveness…"

A small smile appeared on her lips as she said,

"Are you sure, Mallika? Kyunki jo mien abh kehne wali hun, woh tumhare liye aik major test hone wala hai to prove your sincerity. Batao...are you ready?"

A smile bloomed on Mallika's lips too. She knew that it was really big of Bondita to even give her a chance to prove her sincerity.

She knew that a fair and just person like Bondita would never apprehend anyone just like that.

Suddenly, she felt very small in front of Bondita's greatness as she replied, her voice laced with an intense emotion,

"Haan Bondita… I am ready. Mien kuch bhi kerne ko tayyar hun."

Hearing genuine resolve in her voice, Bondita's smile deepened as she said,

"Tou suno…"

Another beautiful chapter ❤️

Keeping Batuk in the other house is a wise decision. In this way Bon will not be unnecessarily stressed and Ani can look after Batuk too.

Tupur and Tapur's decision of not coming back to RCH is understandable. TRC and Som behaved very badly 😡

Bon's reaction is expected. She is still under the trauma and a little too much worried about the safety of babies. Ani is a sweetheart as usual. He didn't force her on anything and gave her time. Bon's trust on Ani's decisions is clearly shown. She is a little apprehensive about Batuk staying at the same house with Tupur and Tapur. But as always she trusts Ani. Rudhi are so sweet ❤️❤️

The best part is Bon and Mallika's conversation. It is good that Titli realized her mistake and apologized ❤️❤️

Cliffhanger ending 😆

Chapter 9: Unexpected Allies

27th November, 1942, Roy Chaudhary Kothi

Sitting by the large window in the west wing of the grand kothi, Batuk Roy Chaudhary was having a hard time controlling his urge to rush out and hug and kiss the two fur balls that were his niece and nephew.

Bondita and Anirudh had brought their babies out in the sunlight for half an hour. They had laid them carefully on a wooden cot in their backyard, nestled between soft pillows and cushions. They had gotten the babies naked and had taken off their cloth-diapers too to let them "sunbathe" happily.

Bondita was massaging her daughter with warm oil, while Anirudh was cooing and playing with his son while simultaneously trying to put a cloth over the baby's "wee wee" to avoid any sudden "pee missile!"

Batuk, who had been sleeping like Kumbhkaran 2.0 because of his heavy antidepressants and mind-relaxing medicines, was awake now, and was watching the sweet little family scene from his window.

A small smile tugged at his lips upon watching how his usually serious and taciturn dada was making funny faces and voicing funny sounds to try to establish communication with his little ones!

A soft laughter escaped Batuk's mouth as he watched his dada triumphantly raise a now wet loin cloth! He had successfully dodged the pee missile of his son after all! He was showing off the loin cloth to Bondita, as if it was a trophy, and she was also laughing at her husband's and son's antics.

Batuk's smile diminished on looking at Bondita. The horrifying flashbacks of her standing in a ring of fire created by him, crying bitterly for her babies doused all his spirits, making him suddenly very restless.

He was already very guilty; Big D was also angry with him, and he didn't know how to repair all the damages that he had done.

His heart filled with anguish, he kept looking at the new parents playing happily with their kids in the backyard. He wanted to go out too. He wanted to hold those babies too. After Bondita, it was him who had spent the maximum time with them during their natal period. He naturally had a very strong love for those babies. They were his Big D's ansh, and they were his own blood too!

He wanted to play with them too… but… because of all his own wretched deeds, he couldn't do that anymore.

He had lost all his rights on those babies now.

His chest constricted as a dead weight settled on his heart…

He was plunging back into the darkest recesses of his mind where there was a lot of remorse, a lot of guilt, and a lot of loneliness when suddenly, two small hands covered his eyes from the back of the sofa chair he was sitting on.

The familiar scent of lillies and honey hit his nostrils and a smile automatically appeared on his lips!

His new friend was here!

And her flowery, happy presence was enough to pull him out from the deep depression he was sinking in.

Holding her hands softly, with his smile deepening, he said,

"Gotcha My Shashu-bear!! "

Sighing, she dropped her hands from his eyes and whined in her soft, shrill voice,

"Kyaaa Cool Dada… Aap ko kaise pata chala ke mien ayi hun?"

Still smiling, he held one of her hands and brought her in front of him.

Then making her sit on his lap gently, he said,

"Abh tumse dosti ki hai tou nibhaana tou paday ga na! Aisa kaise hoskta hai ke mien apni sab se cute dost ko na pehchaanu?"

Grinning widely, she just hugged her brother. Batuk's heart melted at having to hold his little sister with whom he had established a great rapport in the past 6-7 months. She hadn't known who he really was at that time, but she was so cute that he instantly fell in love with her.

He may have been a really bad man for Bondita, but he was super loving and caring with his little sister Shashwati, and with all the kids that Anirudh dada had adopted.

_____________

During the time when he was impersonating Anirudh and living at the Roy Chaudhary Haveli, he had made sure to give his attention and love to his sister. Perhaps it was because he noticed her loneliness at some level.

Although she had her parents, with her dad being sick, her mom's attention was mostly towards him, instead of her. Her eldest brother who used to be her father-figure was missing, and her second eldest brother was not interested in her existence.

Her kaka was also not very interested in her. Her maasi/boudi did try to be there for her most of the time, but even she couldn't help her much.

Noticing all this, he really felt her loneliness.

He understood it...because he had experienced it too.

He had decided to make her feel better, and that was why he had started paying extra attention to her. He helped her with homework, and he started playing different games with her and the other kids too.

He even played with dolls for her!

He had difficulty in pronouncing her name, but before Shashwati caught on this 'new' thing in her 'Anirudh Dada,' he had started calling her 'Mishti bōna (Sweet sister)'

Since Anirudh also often used that nickname for her when he was in a good mood or after his re-marriage to Bondita, Shashwati didn't find it odd.

Now, when Anirudh brought him back from the hospital and instead of taking him to the haveli, he took him to the Kothi instead, he was very sad. One of the major reasons for his sadness was that this change in address would stop him from meeting his sister now.

However, there was no force on earth that could stop Shashwati from doing whatever she wanted!

And so, when Anirudh had dropped Batuk in the Kothi and he was having a hard time adjusting to his new reality, at night, when he had woken up from his drug-induced slumber, there she was!

His sister had sneaked in to meet him.

She was standing by his bedside, and as he tried to sit up to properly greet her, her small hands had even tried to support him and to help him sit comfortably.

And then, when he smiled at her weakly, she extended her hand towards him for a hand shake and said,

"Hi, I am Shashwati Roy Chaudhary!"

Holding her hand, he smiled and said,

"I know tum Shash...sha...I mean…I know tum kon ho. And I am sure you now know too who I really am. Jinko tum itne months se Anirudh dada samajh rahy thyn, woh Anirudh dada nahi thay."

Grinning cutely, she replied,

"Of course I know that now! Tabhi tou reintroduction ker rahy hun! I know that Jinko mien Anirudh dada samajh rahy thy, woh koi doosre hi dada thay!"

A small laughter escaped his mouth as he wittily replied,

"Well, technically dekha jaye tou mien tumhara doosra nahi, balki teesra dada hun!"

Bursting into laughter, she happily said,

"Yes...so mere teesre dada, Shashwati aap se formally introduce hone ke liye ayi hai yahan. Lekin aap bhi koi baat kero na. Sab formalities Shashwati hi kere kia!!"

Instead of saying anything, tugging at her small hand that was still clasped in his bigger one, he gestured her to sit on the chair near his bedside.

However, ignoring him, she hopped onto his bed, surprising him. Trying to fit in her feet into his blanket as if she owned it, she grinned and said,

"Dekho dada… jab tak aap wahan Roy Chaudhary Haveli mien thay, tabb tak tou mien aap ko Anirudh dada ka hi koi 'fun version' samajh rahy thy. And I was so surprised but genuinely happy to see my 'Anirudh dada' being like that… Lekin abh jab mujhe pata chala ki woh Anirudh dada nahi thay, balki aap thay, tou bhi it doesn't change anything for me. Aap 'aap' ho, aur 'aap' as it is hi special ho mere liye. Iss liye tou mien aapka wait ker rahy thy, aur aaj jab aap wapis aye ho, tou mien buht buht buht khush hun."

His heart melted on hearing such a sweet avowal of loyalty and love from his little sister.

Bringing her close, he let her snuggle in his blanket cozily, and running his hand on her head lovingly, he said,

"Thank you kiddo...I am touched, Shash...sha...sha…"

He abruptly stopped trying to say her name when he saw her rolling her eyes. With a legit facepalm, she said disappointedly,

"Dada… aap rehne hi dou. Mera naam SHASHWATI hai...mager aap ke Italian munh se nahi niklay ga. Chhod hi dou aap bas."

Suppressing a sudden urge to laugh out loud at her disappointment, he minutely watched her expressions.

His sister was a chhota packet, bada dhamaka!

She was like a firecracker, and he just loved such kiddos!

Moreover, he realized with a sudden jolt that she was a drama queen like HIMSELF!

Holding back his laughter at sensing some great similarities in both their personalities, with a wide smile on his lips, he said,

"Accha accha… itna drama bhi kerne ki zarurat nahi hai! Haan, mujhe tumhara naam mushkil lagta hai. Mager iska bhi solution hai mere pas. I can always call you Miṣhṭi bōna, lekin woh Anirudh Dada kehte hain tumko. Iss liye mien kuch aur sochta hun."

Her eyes twinkling as she looked up at him and asked,

"Aisa kia soch rahay hain aap?"

Shrugging his shoulders and pretending as if he just had an epiphany, he exclaimed,

"Instead of calling you anything else, I will give you a special name...a nickname. Jo bilkul exclusive hoga aur sirf mein keh sakun ga tumko."

Her face brightened in excitement on hearing this.

After genuinely contemplating for a while, he finally announced,

"Aaj se tum meri Shashu-bear ho."

She shrieked on hearing this and said with a pout,

"Dada!!!! BEAR!! Really? Kia mien aapko Bear jaisi lagty hun?"

The way she huffed and puffed was super cute, and somehow very familiar too.

Controlling his mirth, he replied,

"Haan naa… Tum ho hi itni pyari si, chotu si, cute si baby bear jaisi!"

When he said pyari si and cute si, that instantly improved her mood. Tapping her chin, she thought for a while and then announced,

"Well...theek hai. Aap mujhe Shashu-bear keh sakte hain. Lekin phir mien bhi aap ko nickname dun gy!"

Raising his eyebrows, he waited in silence to hear her nickname for him. Instinctively, he knew something silly was coming up.

And he was right.

Grinning broadly, Shashwati said,

"Aaj se mien aapko Funny Dada bulaon gy!"

His eyes widened on hearing this as he exclaimed,

"What!!! Funny Dada!!! Never! Shashu-bear, mery reputation ka sawal hai. I am BRC from Italy. You can't call me Funny Dada."

Controlling her bubbling laughter, she asked with sham innocence,

"Accha, tou kia mien aapko Italy ke Nakli Angrez Dada keh sakty hun?"

His mouth dropped open as he glared at her and yelled,

"Shashu-bear! Watch out!! Itne awesome se dada ko kaise kaise ganday nicknames de rahy ho tum. Sharam kerou kuch."

Holding her tummy, she rolled into a fit of laughter at his indignance.

Her gaiety was making him feel very light and happy too after so many days.

Finally, surfacing from her laughter attack, she wiped her tears of hilarity and said,

"Okay okay… so aaj se aap ka nickname Cool Dada hai...theek?"

Finally satisfied, he smiled approvingly, and raised his hand towards her.

Understanding his gesture, she gave him a high-five and said,

"So, aaj se dosti pakki?"

Holding her hand in a firm handshake now as if closing an important business deal, he announced,

"Bilkul pakki!"

"Mager yaad rahe Cool Dada, mere favourite humesha Anirudh Dada rahenge."

"That's fine, Shashu-bear! Woh tou mere bhi favourite dada hai!"

_____________

Resurfacing from the fond and very recent memory of how he and his sister became instant friends, he smiled happily to have her by his side now.

Holding her close to his heart, he felt as if a void had started to fill. The way he was feeling a while ago when he wanted to hold Big D's babies in his arms but he couldn't, suddenly his baby sister was there to make him feel better.

Thanking the Lord for blessing him with a sweet little sister, smiling in her hair, he asked,

"Miene tou dosti poori terha nibhai. Lekin tum yeh batao ke tum kahan ghayab hogai thyn? Apne dada se milne bhi nahi aayi uss din ke baad?"

Straightening up, she glared into his eyes haughtily and replied indignantly,

"Jee nahi my UNCOOL DADA, mien beech mien bhi ayi thy. Mager aap sou rahay thay. Miene chupke se Anirudh dada ko bhi doctor se baat kerte suna tha. Woh keh rahay thay ke aap ki medicines ki wajah se aapko neend aati hain. Aur jab tak aap theek nahi hojatay, tab tak yehi dawai chalien gy."

And then, forgetting her earlier irritation at having him even think that she hadn't come to meet him, she asked worriedly,

"Cool Dada… aap ko kia hua hai? Aap ko kis cheez ki dawai leni padd rahy hain?"

Sighing deeply, he had noticed the changes in her tone. Smiling at how quickly she got angry and how quickly she forgot it all, he laid his hand gently on her head and said,

"Pata nahi Shashu-bear. Kafi ghaltiyan ker di hain tumhare not-so-cool dada ne. Isi liye unke apne sath kafi kuch ghalat hogya hai. Lekin tum fiker nahi kero. Mien koshish kerun ga ke jis terha pehle tumhien company deta tha aur games khelta tha, waise hi abh bhi kerun."

Hearing about games, a smile bloomed on her face as she proudly said,

"Aap bass Jaldi se theek hojayein. Company ki fiker na kerien. Woh tou Shashwati hi aap ko de degy. Aur games ki bhi tension na lien. Abh tou mere pas 2 toys bhi agaye hain- bilkul brand new!"

Confused, he asked,

"Aise konse toys aagaye hain tumhare pas bhayee?"

Her eyes twinkling with excitement, she exclaimed,

"Rudhir aur Aaradhya!"

The name Rudhir pulled some strings in his heart.

He loved that name. He really wanted to give this name to Big D's son…

But…

He couldn't do anything like that because he lost all his rights towards his niece and nephew.

Feeling bummed again, he tried to divert his mind and managing to smile a little for Shashwati's sake, he asked,

"Yeh dono kon hain? Koi new friends hain tumhare?"

She shook her head vehemently, her pigtail flying from left to right as she replied,

"Abhi dosti hui nahi hai. Mager hojayegy. After all mien unki one and only Pishi hun!"

He was astonished as understanding dawned on him.

If Shashwati was their Pishi, then it must mean…

that…

She was talking about Big D's babies!!

A soft smile played on his lips as his eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Rudhir aur Aaradhya…" he mumbled to himself. And then, he said,

"Kitne pyare names hain."

Her face lightened up as she puffed her chest proudly and said,

"Of course pyare naam hain! Dunia ke coolest friends ne jo rakhay hain!"

Smiling, his mind still repeating the babies' names over and over again, he muttered,

"Coolest friends? Kon?"

Slapping her palm on her forehead, she said irritably,

"Arey dada… aap aur mien, aur kon?"

His eyes widened on hearing this. He hadn't been out of the kothi for the past 4 days that he had been here.

He was sleeping most of the time, and at odd hours, at night, when he would wake up, he used to mope around in his room, play his mouth organ, and reflect on all his past deeds.

He didn't even know that the babies' naamkaran ceremony had already happened.

But he was feeling very confused now. So he asked,

"Shashu-bear… Mujhe tou yeh bhi nahi pata tha ki babies ka naamkaran hogya hai. Tou tum yeh kyun keh rhy ho ke unka naam hum dono ne rakha hai?"

Shaking her head in disappointment, she jumped out of his lap and went near the desk where some books and registers were lying.

There were some land-related accounting files too that Batuk used to work on when he was staying at the Roy Chaudhary Haveli.

He didn't know how those files and registers came here. He hadn't noticed their presence even before that moment.

Slowly standing up, he followed Shashwati who was now opening a small, black diary.

Batuk's eyes got huge as he recognized that diary. It actually belonged to Big D, but after his supposed death, when Batuk used to feel like crying in solitude because he was unable to share his sorrow with anyone else back then, he had started writing everything he wanted to say to his Big D in that diary.

His astonished gaze was fixed on Shashwati who was now flipping the pages of the diary to the part where he had started making the entries. Pointing towards different places, she said,

"Look, dada...you mentioned it yourself. Aapne hi tou kab se socha hua tha ki aap Anirudh dada ke bete ka naam Rudhir rakhna chahte thay!"

He now understood it all!

During her sneak ups, when she used to find him asleep, she would look into his stuff and that was how she must have read that diary too.

He knew it would be futile to teach her that snooping into other people's stuff was not nice. He knew she would come up with an extremely logical-sounding excuse.

Besides, he himself wasn't like that. His own moral compass was pretty tweaked up!

So, instead of talking to her on foolish morals, he simply said,

"Haan Shashu-bear… you got me! Mujhe Rudhir naam pasand tha Big D ke bete ke liye...lekin miene kabhi impose nahi kerna tha yeh Bondita per. I believe, yeh uska right hona chahiye ke woh apne bachay ka kia naam rakhay, as shes the mom "

Her eyes twinkling again with laughter, with a small conspiratorial smile on her face, she said,

"Funny enough, yehi same baat parson Naamkaran per Anirudh dada ne bhi kahi thy kaka ko!"

And then, her eyes filled with fond wonder as she mused, "Aap aur Anirudh dada kitna aik jaisa sochte hain, aur Bondita Maasi ka kitna khayal kerte hain!"

Shashwati's innocent remark felt like a bucket of ice on his head!

Bondita ka KHAYAL!

Aur woh bhi MIEN?

His inner conscience laughed sarcastically as it interjected:

"Anirudh jaisi soch! Aur woh bhi TUMHARI? Kis ko bewaquf bana rahay ho? Buht oonche vichaar show off ker rhe ho ke Bondita ka haq hai apne bachon ka naam rakhne ka kyunki woh Maa hai unki. Uss waqt kahan gaya tha Bondita ka haq jab tum yeh planning ker ke bethe thay ke uss se uske bacchay chheen ker usko ghar se bahir nikaal dou ge!! You hypocrite! You have no right to even talk about the 'rights' of others! "

As if his conscience wasn't enough to make him guilty, his mind and his heart also agreed with his conscience on this. His heart clenched in pain as he recalled how 'caring' he really was towards Bondita!

A fresh wave of guilt and sadness washed over him as he thought to himself,

"Kash Shashu-bear mien tumhien bata sakta...tumhare Cool Dada ne tumhari Maasi ke sath kia kya tha. Kash mien tumko bata sakta ke tumhare Cool Dada utne acchay nahi hain jitne acchay tumhare Anirudh dada hain… Kash…"

From deep within, his heart tried to defend him by exclaiming,

"Nahi nahi… Mien yeh sach mien maanta hun ke Bondita ya kisi bhi maa ka haq uske bacchay per sab se ziada hota hai."

His mind scoffed and asked pointedly,

"Oh really? Tou phir tum kyun Bondita se uske bacchay chheenna chahte thay? Woh Maa haina, kyun usko taklif dena chahte thay?"

His heart tried, "Kyunki… Bondita… woh…"

His heart had nothing to say except for stuttering and trying to give a valid reason.

He was suddenly clueless. He no longer knew how he had plunged into the depths of negativity and hatred for Bondita like that, when deep down, he actually acknowledged her rights and everything!

His mind now felt like exploding. He would have dwelled into the fight between his heart, mind, and conscience if Shashwati's cheerful voice hadn't brought him back to the present.

Unaware of his inner turmoil, covering her lips to stop herself from laughing, she confided in him,

"Cool Dada, humare kaka itne uncool kyun hain? Aapko pata hai, woh kab se chillana shuru hogaye thay ke Naamkaran ceremony kero, yeh naam rakho, woh naam rakho."

Rolling her eyes now, she continued her gossip,

"Anirudh dada waise hi unse naraz hain. Yeh baatien sunn ker aur ghussa hogaye. Aap tou jantay hain ke humare Anirudh Dada bhi aik baar chillana shuru hote hain tou bass, dharti hilna shuru hojaty hai."

Her story and the entertaining way she was telling it caught his wavering attention once again. Batuk couldn't help himself from smiling at the way she was giving him these titbits.

Controlling her laughter, her face turning pink as she said,

"Aur aap yeh bhi jantay hain ki Anirudh dada kabhi ghalat baat per ghussa nahi kerte. Tou jab Kaka chup nahi hue tou Anirudh dada ne bhi yehi kaha jo aap ne kaha hai. Ke babies ka naam rakhne ka haq sirf Bondita Maasi ko hai kyunki wahi unki maa hain, aur maa ka haq bacchay per sab se ziada hota hai."

Her face then turned super proud as she told him,

"Lekin Bondita Maasi boly ke tradition ke hisab se Pishi babies ke kaan mien naam bolay gy. "

Pretending to raise her non-existent collars to elaborate her pride, she said,

"Abh unki one and only Pishi kon hai? Mien na? Tou saari responsibility mujh per aagayee! Anirudh dada ne bhi kuch nahi kaha. Kaka albatta bada sakht naraz hogaye."

Widening her eyes, she told him in an offended tone,

"Kaka ne kaha ke mien aik bacchi hun. Aur mujhe itni samajh nahi hai ke mien sahi naam rakh sakun! Can you believe this Cool Dada?"

When Batuk silently shook his head in negative, she scoffed and said, her voice ringing with pride and happiness again,

"Us waqt Maa ne bola ke woh mujhe acchay names sikha dien gy. Phir Anirudh dada ne bhi kaha ke woh aur Bondita Maasi bhi meri help ker dien ge. Iss liye Kaka ko pareeshan hone ki zarurat nahi hai. Uske baad sab kaka ko chhod ker chalay gaye. Maa ne mujhe Dugga maa ke different names bataye. Unhone hi mujhe 'Bondita' ka bhi matlab bataya."

She looked at Batuk who was looking at her, completely engrossed in her story.

Feeling elated at being the recipient of his undivided attention, she told him,

"Pata hai Cool Dada, Bondita ka matlab hai 'the one who is worshipped.' Tou miene Maa se Dugga maa ke saray naamon ke matlab pooche. And then I found 'Aaradhya.' Iska matlab bhi worship hi hai. Tou bass, mujhe yeh naam best laga humari bhateeji ke liye. Aur aap ne jo Rudhir naam mention kia hua tha apni diary mien, miene Maa ko woh bhi bataya. Unhone hi bataya ke yeh Shiv ji ka aik naam hai. Aur Maa ko tou English nahi aaty, lekin jab miene spellings likh ker dekhy, tou mujhe iss naam mien 'Anirudh' aur 'Bondita' ka mixture nazar aaya. 'RudhI-r'.

Bass...miene isi liye decide kia ke in se perfect names humare bhateeja bhateeji ke nahi hoskte! Miene phir Anirudh dada aur Bondita Maasi ko bhi bataya, aur unko bhi yeh names buht achay lagay."

She then winked at him and said in a hushed tone as if sharing a secret,

"Bondita Maasi ne mujhse poocha tha ke mujhe Rudhir aur Aaradhya, especially Rudhir ka kaise khayal aaya? Mien bhi smart hun! Miene unko nahi bataya ke Rudhir aapki pasand ka naam hai! Miene unko bola ke miene aik kitaab mien padha hai aur dono names ke meanings mujhe Maa ne hi bataye hain."

Bending down on his knees to reach her level, he cupped her cheek and said softly,

"Thank you my Shashu-bear. Tumne meri aik wish poori ker di. And you did the right thing. Big D aur Bondita waise hi mujhse buht naraz hain. Ager unko pata chalta ke yeh meri pasand ka naam hai tou shayad woh na rakhte."

Holding his hand excitedly, she replied,

"Isi liye tou humari team itni cool hai! aapke secrets mere sath hamesh safe rahien ge."

And then, as if recalling something funny, she said,

"Arey Cool Dada, suno tou. Miene aapki wish tou poori ker di, lekin humare kaka ki koi wish na poori ho saky. Aap ko pata hai, Naamkaran per jab kisi ne unko ziada value nahi di tou woh phir se naraz hogaye. Aur kehne lagay ke woh aise ghar mien nahi rahien ge jahan unki izzat nahi hai."

A gasp escaped Batuk's mouth on hearing this. He knew now that kaka was behind most of the problems that he was now facing, but he still didn't hate him. After all, he was his kaka!

Watching his reaction, Shashwati nodded her head and said,

"Jee haan. Kaka ne aise hi kaha tha. Shayad woh chahte thay ke sab loag unko rokien. Maa ne bhi yehi kaha ke woh yeh sab ki attention haasil kerne ke liye ker rahay thay jab Bondita Maasi ne kaka ko rokna chaha tha. Lekin aap yaqeen nahi kerien ge jab Anirudh dada ne hi buht aram se, beghair ghussa kiye kaha ke," imitating Anirudh by setting her unseen glasses on her little nose like Anirudh did often, she deepened her voice and said, " 'jaise aapki marzi kaka! Ager aap kahien tou mien aapke teerth per janay ki tayyari ker deta hun!"

Bursting into a peal of laughter and dropping her pretense to be like Anirudh, she gaily reported,

" Bass, phir kaka ke pas koi choice nahi rahy aur woh kal hi ghar chhod ker teerth per chalay gaye."

Batuk was surprised to hear all of this. He was amused at how Shashwati had narrated the whole incident, but deep down, he felt a little sad for his Kaka too. It was true that he had been wrong, but he still wished that the idol he thought his Kaka was hadn't fallen down from the high pedestal so miserably!

Another thing that struck him a little odd was how Shashwati was talking about their Kaka. She had been with him since her childhood, but clearly, she wasn't really attached to him. Which was strange. In Batuk's mind, Kaka had been a father-mother-figure.

He didn't know why for Shashwati, Kaka was not her father-figure too?

So, he laid his hand on Shashwati's head and asked mildly,

"Shashu-bear...tell me one thing. Baba tou beemar hain. So, ghar mien tum ager kisi ko apne baba ki jageh dekhty ho tou woh kon hai?"

With a sweet smile, her tone still chirpy with her earlier gossiping, she instantly replied,

"Anirudh dada, aur kon!"

Nodding his head, smiling a little, he then asked,

"What about Kaka, Shashu-bear? He's our father's twin brother. Isn't he like our father too?"

Shashwati's smile vanished in an instant. She didn't respond immediately. Instead, after contemplating for a while, she then looked at him with a mutinous expression, her eyes losing their twinkle as she replied,

"Nahi Cool Dada… kaka ne kabhi mujhe aise feel nahi kerwaya ki woh mere baba jaise hain. Hamesha Anirudh dada hi ne woh role nibhaya hai. Wahi Maa ke sath help kerte thay meri aur baba ki dekh bhaal mien bhi. Som Dada bhi Kaka jaise hi hain. Woh bhi mere itne close nahi hain. Aur phir...kuch time pehle…"

Her voice started quivering and tears pooled in her eyes as she said,

"Jab Anirudh Dada Bondita Maasi se shadi kerna chahte thay aur woh bhaag ker Tulsipur se duur gaye thay, tou Kaka aur Som Dada ne mera baal vivaah kerna chaha tha. Meri Maa ko room mien lock ker ke woh meri shadi kerwa rahay thay taaki Anirudh dada apni zid chhod dien."

Batuk's mind felt like exploding on hearing this.

He knew...rather he admired the vicious traits of tenacity and cleverness in his Kaka. But putting his niece at risk to blackmail his nephew to turn around was a very petty thing to do!

It was extremely low, and a khalnaayak like Batuk Roy Chaudhary could also see this!

And now, he could also see something else very clearly too:

Kaka was HABITUAL of USING people for his own motives!

He used little Shashwati, and he used Batuk too.

Embracing a now crying Shashwati in a soothing hug, he didn't know what to say! His heart was bleeding for his stupidity to let Kaka use him as his pawn, but for Shashwati, he felt like crying too!

He didn't know how to comfort his doll-like little sister. He just patted her head,

"It's okay Shashu-bear. It's all in the past now. Abh Anirudh dada bhi hain, Bondita Maasi bhi hain, Maa bhi hain, aur tumhare Cool Dada bhi tumhare sath hain."

In response, Shashwati tightened the hug and whispered,

"Anirudh Dada is my father-figure...Lekin aap, Cool Dada...aap mere best friend for life hain!"

A spontaneous smile bloomed on his entire face on hearing this as he cuddled his little sister, happy that there was at least one relationship that he was able to get right.

--------

Beautiful chapter! ❤️

Rudhi family scene was so sweet ❤️❤️

Batuk feeling guilty for his deeds is good.

Batuk and Shashwati bond is so sweet. Happy that he loves his little sister and didn't do anything bad to her and the other lalla lallis. The way they gave each other nicknames are so good ❤️❤️

Rudhi's babies' names are nice ❤️❤️

Finally TRC's real face came in front of Batuk and he realized how TRC uses people for his purposes 😡😡Sending TRC to pilgrimage is the best decision 😈😆

Chapter 10: A Tiny Ray of Light in the Darkness of His Life

30th November 1942, Roy Chaudhary Kothi

Batuk lay on his stomach on the bed, running his hands over his diary, contemplating his discussion with Big D yesterday.

"Dekho Batuk, main maanta hu ki tumhare saath galat hua hai, aur usey mai sahi karne mein tumhari madat karunga. Mager jo tumne galat kiya hai, unn galtiyon ko tumhe khud pehchaanana padega, khud samajhna padega, khud sudhaarna padega. Mai tumhe yeh nahi bata sakta ke tumhe kya karna chahiye, ya kaise karna chahiye. Yeh ladayi tumhe khud hi ladhni hai. Mager haan, kabhi mann mein koi sawaal ho, koi duvidha ho, toh mujhe bejhijhak puch sakte ho."

Batuk had definitely understood where he went wrong, he thought as he tried to make a list in his mind of all his follies and wrongdoings.

BigD had also told him what he needed to do, but what he needed to figure out was how to go about it.

Worse, he didn't know whom to ask for advice, especially since not many people spoke to him these days. He didn't think he could be objective about BigD's advice. Shashu-bear was too young to be burdened with all this, Ramu probably wouldn't understand. Mallika… He could ask her, but he didn't want to call her until he found a reason to fight for them. He thought of a thousand possible reasons, but in the end it came down to one, and somehow his reason didn't seem right.

Batuk sighed heavily, as he gave up the idea of opening the diary and to start jotting down all his reflections in it. Placing it on the bedside along with his pen, he aimlessly rolled over on his back. His gaze was now fixed on the rapidly darkening sky through the window, before checking his watch.

Big D will be here any moment with my medicines. Maybe I could tell him what I am thinking about, at least he can tell me if I am on the right track.

Batuk's musings were interrupted by a knock on the door. He sat up with a smile, switching on the bedside lamp. His smile changed to confusion as he took in the feminine figure in the doorway, holding his tray of medicines. It wasn't Big D. It was Bondita's sister.

Was she Tapur or Tupur? He recognised her as the younger one. The one who made medicines. The one who was almost engaged to Som Dada.

His guilty conscience left no stone unturned to bombard him further.

The one who YOU suggested be married to Som Dada. The one whose letter YOU changed. The one who YOU made out to be a liar. The one who was left with the stain of a broken engagement because of YOU!

He turned away and clenched his eyes shut, trying to block out the wave of guilt that washed over him.

"Aapki dawai ka samay ho gaya hai" Her stern voice brought him back to reality.

"Haa… haa… Please come in… Andar aao na Tupur"

He was hoping he got her name right, but he couldn't be sure.

She walked to the bedside, placing the tray on the side table, before extending her hand towards him.

He looked at her in confusion.

"Aapki nabz"

She wanted to check his pulse! Batuk suddenly remembered that Big D used to do the same, and mutely extended his own hand, so that she could measure his heart rate.

After a minute, she left his wrist, and turned to the bedside table again, poring over a piece of paper in the tray. For some reason, something felt off with the image.

"Tupur… Big D nahi aaye aaj? Naraaz hai kya mujhse?"

She snorted in derision before replying sarcastically, "Saari duniya aapke ird gird nahi ghumti. Jamai Babu Didi aur baccho ko le kar aspataal gaye hai, unki saptahik jaanch ke liye."

"Oh… achha… par tumne kyun takleef li? Ramu ke haathon bhijwa deti dawai."

"Aapki dawai ki matra aapke nabz ke hisaab se badalti hai. Yeh har koi nahi kar sakta. Ab aapki puchtach ho gayi hou tou kya mai yeh ganana kar sakti hu?"

"Yeah sure, sorry… maaf karna…"

It wasn't until she finished her calculation and started scribbling on the paper that a sudden realisation dawned on him.

Wait a minute! She is WRITING! She couldn't write 6 months ago, Bondita had to write for her. When did she learn?

"Tupur, tum likh sakti hou?"

She frowned again before replying, sarcasm still intact, "Haan, maine padhna likhna seekh liya taaki ab koi meri jaankari ke bina mere chitthiyon ke saath khilwaad na kar sake."

Batuk winced again as the taunt hit home. He kept quiet until she finished mixing the medicine and handed it over with a curt "Pi lijiye"

Batuk held his nose and gulped down the bitter concoction, followed by the glass of water that she held out. As she turned to leave, he called out to her

"Tupur, listen…"

She stopped, but did not turn to look at him.

"Thanks, medicines ke liye, maine jo kiya uske baad…"

"Mien ek vaid hu aur aap ek mareez." She cut him off bluntly. "Aapka ilaaj karna mera dharm hai."

"Mager har patient ka ilaaj khud karna compulsory, mera matlab hai… zaruri tou nahi hai na?"

"Meri iss dawai se agar Anirudh Jamai Babu ki pareshani kam hoti hai tou mai woh kyun na karu. Uske liye aapke aabhaar ki koi zarurat nahi hai" As she moved to leave yet again, he called.

"Tupur… Tumhare Aashirwad pe jo bhi hua, I am really sorry! Mai tumhe koi bhi takleef nahi pahuchana chahta tha…Mujhe TUM se koi masla nahi tha. Tum bass...I am sor... Mujhe maaf kar dou… "

"Rehne dijiye" She interrupted again, in a cold voice. "aapki jhhuti maafi ki zarurat nahi hai mujhe, na hi aapki koi safai chahiye."

"Tupur, mai sach keh raha hu… meri tumse ya Tapur se koi dushmani nahi hai…"

She turned back at this. Her face was red as she angrily said, "Haa… Haa, aapki dushmani sirf Bondita Didi se hai na? Hum toh sirf unki behenein hai, jinhe aapne apna shikaar banaya taaki aap Bondita Didi ko dard de sako. Mager aapne humaare baare mein kabhi socha? Bilkul nahi! Kyunki hum aapke liye insaan nahi hai, bas muhray hai, jinko apne maqsad ke liye istemaal kar sake, ya sadak per paday kankar hain jo raastay me aayin tou hata sakein!"

She was yelling by now. Batuk raised his hands in a surrendering gesture as he tried to plead with her.

"Tupur… Aisa nahi hai…"

"Aisa hi hai Batuknath Roy Chaudhary! Abhi bhi aap isiliye maafi nahi maang rahe kyunki aapko lagta hai ke aap galat hai, aap maafi isiliye maang rahe hai kyunki aap apne Dada ki nazron mein uth sakay! Aaj bhi mai aapke liye ek muhra hi hun jis se maafi maang ker aap apna maqsad haasil ker sakien...apne Dada ki manzoori paa sakien. Ager aap sach mein mujhse dil se maafi maangna chahte, tou kam se kam aap ne itni koshish tou ki hoty ke aap yeh jaan sakien ke mera naam Tupur nahi TAPUR hai!"

With that parting shot, Tapur stalked out of the room.

Batuk was left behind in his own sea of guilt and remorse as another painful and extremely shameful realisation dawned on him:

He had turned just like his Kaka!!

He had become so consumed in his hatred, and his revenge, that he had started dehumanising the people around him.

He had become everything that his Dada despised in a person. Bloody Hell! In his hatred, he had become everything that any decent human being would despise!

Even he hated that version of himself, now that his sense of humanity was returning!

He had a hard time believing that he, of all the people, could do something so heinous! So… vicious.

He had tried to blame his kaka for everything but Tapur just made him realise that he was no less.

If Trilochan Roy Chaudhary was habitual of using people as pawns, he, Batuknath Roy Chaudhary had started doing the same too.

The mere realisation shook his core and made him squirm. His heartbeats accelerated as he mumbled to himself,

“Mien itna kaise gir gaya… how can I turn into a monster like that? Miene Bondita ko harm kerne ke liye beech mien Tapur ke sath itna bura kaise ker dia?”

His self-incrimination induced a state of sheer panic as he broke into a sweat and his heart started sinking.

Suddenly feeling suffocated, he got up from his bed, and picking his diary from the bedside table, he opened the window of the room to let the air in.

The fresh cool breeze felt like a soothing balm on his overheated skin. It calmed his panic-ridden nerves to some extent.

Heaving a deep breath, he looked at the diary that he was clutching in his hand.

His Big D’s diary…

Running his finger lovingly over its black cover, he finally opened it for the first time after his return to the kothi.

He had found this diary in Anirudh’s study almost 6 months ago. Knowing how close it was to his Big D, he had opened it with trembling hands and tears running down his cheeks as it was something that shared his brother’s secrets and his innermost feelings.

He knew that his brother’s secrets must revolve around his feelings for his pyari Bondita only, and Batuk didn't feel any urge to read those things, even if they were written by his brother! So, deciding not to read his brother’s diary, instead, he jumped to an empty page to share his own feelings with his brother’s trusted friend!

The diary had become his friend too over the passage of all those months when he lived at the haveli. It had now come back to him in this kothi, and today, he decided to finally open it and use it to pour down his heart on its empty pages.

As he skimmed through the pages of the diary, he came to his last entry.

Stopping to read what he had written when he first brought the babies home, his eyes fell on something unexpected.

His eyes widened as he saw a small note underneath his last entry.

Creases of confusion appeared on his forehead as he read the note,

“When you are confused about something and pondering over your actions, it is always better to talk it out with someone who probably has had a similar experience as yourself.”

A gasp escaped his mouth as he tried to comprehend the small note.

Someone had read his entries…

Someone had read all the gibberish of his mind that he used to share with his friend, the diary!

Batuk didn't know if he felt intruded more, or if he felt exposed more?

His own moral principles weren't so strong that would stop him from snooping into someone else’s diary. The only reason he hadn't read Anirudh’s entries was that he didn't want to read his mushy lovey-dovey feelings for Bondita. He was so sure that the diary must have been full of such stuff, and he had felt a little pity for the diary also!

However, his entries were like personal letters that he had written to his Big D after his supposed death.

And now, someone had read them and even responded!

Closely examining the handwriting of the message, he tried to judge who it could be.

And after just a little more speculation, realisation dawned on him as he gasped,

"Bloody hell! It's you!”

Batuk didn't know what to feel. The small message had lit a tiny ember of hope in him, but the identity of the sender stirred up unknown emotions. He tried to name it, he thought it was anger, but there was something different. However, being irrational and impulsive were the two things that Batuk Roy Chaudhary was notoriously famous for, and acting on his impulses, he tore the page out of the diary, crumpled it, and threw it in the dustbin near his desk.

He should have felt better, right?

But no! His actions did not make him happy. They somehow didn't feel right, and throwing the paper away made his heart a little sad too.

Sighing resignedly, he went to his desk, and picking up the discarded page, he gently unfolded it.

This message had popped up into his life unexpectedly; he didn't know how to react to it, but throwing it away somehow pained him more.

Looking at it closely, he tried to decipher the meaning behind those words. He didn't know why, his heart felt as if this message was meant to tether him with an unseen anchor.

Feeling exasperated and emotionally vulnerable, tears formed in his eyes. With trembling fingers, he caressed the words of the message that was left for him in the diary.

It was…

Precious!

Only his heart knew how precious it was for him.

Someone had listened to him…

Someone had even responded to him!

He was so emotional at being responded to like that, albeit through a paper medium, that he wanted to cry.

He didn't even know if the tears that he was shedding now were indicative of his happiness or his sadness!

Feeling restless, he went to stand near the window. He didn't know what he was trying to search in the moonlit sky…but when he couldn't find the answers to all the searing questions in his mind, he felt…powerless!

Feeling hopeless, he closed the window and sat down on his desk.

Reading and then re-reading the message again, he tried to grasp the meaning that it conveyed.

“When you are confused about something and dwelling about your actions, it is always better to talk it out with someone who probably has had a similar experience as yourself.”

The message clearly indicated that it was guiding him to talk to someone with a similar experience as himself.

But who could have committed such crimes as he did?

Koi aur kahan mere jitna gir sakta hai? He thought wistfully.

But then he read the beacon-like message again and felt as if it was guiding him about something else too. He felt as if it was urging him to think about the people around him, in his life…it was urging him to think about people whom he could reach out to.

Shayad mujhe koi aisa dhoondna chahiye jo meri baat samajh sakay.

Pondering hard, he scrunched his nose as he started wondering who this person could be?

Kon hoskta hai jo meri baat samajh sakay… mujhe samajh sakay? Aur jisko mien bhi samajh sakun?

He thought hard, and somehow, only one name flashed in his mind, as his own words resounded in his ears,

“Agar mujhe ye damage fix karne ki wajeh mil jaaye, toh kya mai tumhe call kar sakta hu?"

His initial reason had seemed wrong, and because of his (un)fateful encounter with Tapur, he now knew why. But thanks to the message, he found the right reason now.

His eyes shot open as a soft smile instantly appeared on his lips. He reached out to the phone lying on his desk, grabbed the receiver, and dialled, holding his breath until he heard the familiar, relaxing voice.

“Mallika… Mujhe wajeh mil gai!”

____________________________________________________________________________

Loved Tapur 😈😈

Batuk deserves her cold behavior. Good that he had realized his mistake. Feeling guilty is the first step to redemption.

Tapur's attitude to the whole incident is also good. She also had learned a lesson and realized her weakness. She has understood the importance of education and decided to overcome her weakness 👏👏

Message with suspense!! 😄

Nice ending with the phone call to Titli ❤

Chapter 11: The Untrodden Avenues

30th November 1942, Roy Chaudhary Kothi

Mallika’s heart slammed in her chest as his deep voice resonated in her ears.

Clutching the phone receiver tightly, she tried to control her racing heartbeats as she whispered in the phone,

“Who am I talking to? BRC, or Batuk?”

A smile appeared on his lips as he softly answered,

“Jis se tum baat kerna chaho, Mallika.”

An answering smile adorned her lips as she confided,

“I think I liked Batuk better…”

He lightly chuckled in the phone on her reply and said,

“I will try to be the version of myself that you like, Mallika. Aur yehi meri doosri wajeh hai to fight for us!”

Doosri wajeh?

Confused, she asked quizzically,

“Doosri wajeh? What do you mean? Pehli wajeh kia hai?”

Taking a deep breath, he contemplated his words as he replied to her carefully,

“Mallika, tumne kaha tha na ke mujhe pehle evaluate kerna hoga ke humare relationship mien kia damage hua tha, aur mien usay kyun fix kerna chahta hun?”

“Haan…” she replied, slowly, wondering what his reply would be.

However, his reply was not the answer that she was expecting. Instead, it was a question,

“Mallika, do you remember our first fight?”

Her confusion notched up a little higher. They seldom fought… but their reason had always been one - Batuk’s infidelity. Their first fight also was because Batuk had kissed another girl when he had been snogging with Mallika too. It had also been the longest fight, resulting in them not speaking to each other for close to two months.

Feeling the bitterness of that fight, she said tightly,

“Haan…Batuk. Mujhe sab yad hai.” And then, wondering aloud, she said, “I am surprised ke tumhien kaise yaad hai woh sab?”

The flashbacks of their fight and the reason of it were enough to make him a little contrite. However, the way they had made-up brought a smile on his face as he replied to her,

“Mujhe bhi sab yaad hai, Mallika. I may look stupid and dumb to you…mien shayad itna intelligent hun bhi nahi, lekin meri memory buht sharp hai. Mujhe humari first meeting bhi yaad hai jab hum college ke freshman mixer mien milay thay. I still remember your short black dress that stole my heart right away!”

Pausing, he closed his eyes with a soft smile lingering on his lips. His voice turned dreamy as he recalled their earlier days of togetherness.

“You and I hit off immediately na… I remember humari pehli baat hi India se related hui thy. You were the only Indian girl there, and both of us were missing home a little too much that night. Tumse mil ker I felt a sense of belonging… Meri homesickness kuch kam hui thy.”

Reminiscing how their mutual attraction had brought them closer, he smiled and said,

“I remember our first kiss too. Tumhien yaad hai miene kaise aik damm se aa ker tumko kiss kia tha? I had caught you by surprise, haina?”

Hearing him now talking so fondly of their time together, after every rough patch they had seen in their relationship, a dull ache settled on her heart as tears formed in her eyes. Recalling their first kiss, she whispered,

“I remember… I was surprised…but more than that, I was so happy. Tum mere sath baatien kerte thay, milte thay, lekin physically tum mere pas nahi atay thay. Aur mien, on the other hand, chahty thy ke tum mere pas aao. I never asked you Batuk, uss din tum itne achanak aik damm se kiss kerne kaise aye thay?"

Heaving a resigned breath, he opened his eyes and replied,

“You remember my friend Frank, don't you? Usne mujhe uss din bola tha ki mien tumse jis terha se baat kerne ke liye marr raha hota tha, jis terha se humari friendship aur mutual understanding progress ker rahy thy, Frank ne kaha ki mujhe tumse pyar hogya hai.”

A gasp escaped her mouth. She knew that she loved Batuk, but Batuk had never uttered this word for her unless they were making wild, torrid love and he was whispering no-nothings in her ear in the throes of passion.

Hearing her silence and intuitively knowing what she must be thinking, his fingers curled around the coiled wire of the telephone, he told her somberly,

“That scared me Mallika. Mien darr gaya tha yeh sunn ker. Miene tumhien yeh bataya tha na ki mujhe Big D ke pyaar ka anjaam dekhne ke baad pyaar se allergy hogai thy. So, bass…Frank ki baat sunn ker I got scared. Mujhe laga ki what I felt for you… jo mien mehsoos kerta tha…woh shayad sirf physical aur superficial level per tha. Aur mujhe laga ki ager mien tumhari oar apni physical urges ko satisfy kerun ga tou mera dil bhar jayega. I thought it would be enough to satisfy me. Iss liye miene uss din tumhien kiss kia tha. And then…one thing led to another. We became lovers.”

And then, sighing again, he confided in her,

“I know Mallika that I made it look as if tumhara involvement hi mujh mien tha ziada. I know I made you feel that you wanted more from me. I know I tried to keep you at a distance…tum exclusivity chahty thyn aur mien commitment se hi bhaagta tha. I know miene yeh sab kia… lekin iski bas yehi wajeh thy ke…”

Her breath was caught in her chest as she waited for him to cite his reasons…the real ones!

Taking a deep breath, slowly running his fingers over the black diary now, he confessed for the first time in his life,

“Mallika, meri tumse duur bhaagne ki wajeh yeh thy ke jis ko mien superficial, physical attraction samajh raha tha, woh kuch aur tha… It was deep… and I didn't want to explore it further. I thought, doosri ladkion ki taraf badhun ga tou yeh attraction khatam hojayega. Lekin…”

Expelling another deep breath, he pursed his lips to contemplate his next words carefully, and then, after a heavy silence, he quietly said,

“I made myself believe that it was helping. Lekin… I want to be honest now. It didn't! And that scared me a lot. More than that, I was worried because I was losing the friend I had in you during the process. Uss first fight mien bhi I deliberately kissed that girl to make my feelings for you go away… Tum ne dekha…tum ko bura laga. I was callous enough to tell you that it was what I wanted! But the truth was, it wasn't! Lekin yeh sab mujhe uss waqt nahi click ker raha tha Mallika. And you weren't helping there either. Tum meri non-exclusivity wali ghatiya baat bhi maan gayee… And although I know that for you, I was the only one back then, lekin meri bewakufi ne mujhe tumhare liye exclusive nahi rehne dia tha. And…Mallika… I regret that now.”

Silent tears were rolling down her cheeks now on listening to something so ironic… and yet beautiful… these were some sweet confessions from the mouth of Batuk Roy Chaudhary… who had been so caustic towards her in the past!

It was hard to believe…but it was something that her heart was accepting. She had carefully erected many walls around her heart to prevent it from completely melting away for this strange, eccentric man. But, her efforts were failing…her walls were crumbling. They had already started crumbling after their first phone call a few days back, but now, her heart was opening in more ways than she wanted.

He heard her sniffles from the other end, and tears pooled in his own eyes too as he blinked rapidly to prevent them from falling. After a while where both tried to compose themselves, he finally said,

“I remember all the details of that first fight. I also remember what I had said when I had tried to make up with you again. Miene kaha tha ki mujhe tumhari zarurat hai. Aur Mallika…”

He paused, again trying to choose the best words for her. After some careful contemplation, he softly but firmly said,

“Mallika…yehi mera reason abh bhi hai. Call me selfish…lekin mere liye hamesha ek hi reason raha hai to fight for us, that you were the only one I could talk to, jo mujhe samajhti thi… You were the only one jo BRC ke peeche ke Batuk ko dekhti thi…Reason hamesha se at the core yehi tha, lekin mien usko alag direction mien le jata tha... superficial level per. Uss waqt bhi I tried to mask my feelings by indulging in physical love with you, and jab that didn't work, tou I tried to distract myself with other girls. Lekin abh mien aisa nahi kerun ga. Because now I have realized that this was my reason, lekin maine tumhien koi reason nahi diya to hold on to this relationship…But I want to do that now…”

Mallika’s breath hitched on the phone and Batuk heard it. Trying to desperately explain his point in better words, he said,

“Mallika…hamesha mien hi emotionally tum per lean kerta tha. But this time I want to become someone on whom YOU can lean on too. I want to become someone jo tumhien samjhay... tumhara thick and thin mien sath de jaise tumne hamesha mera dia… even abhi recently bhi. You were there with me when I was dying because of Big D’s supposed death. Lekin miene tumhari qadar nahi ki. Mien woh abh kerna chahta hun. Aur yehi meri wajeh hai to fight for us this time.”

After saying what he wanted to say, he fell silent. The ball was in Mallika’s court, and Batuk had decided to give her the chance to think about the future of their relationship. He had decided to go against his nature and wait patiently!

But it was hard!

And Mallika understood this. Wiping her tears, she softly said,

“I appreciate you telling me all this, Batuk. Mujhse bhi ghaltiyan hui thyn humare relationship mien. Mien woh bannay ki koshish kerne lagy thy jo mujhe lagta tha ki 'tum' pasand kerte ho. I tried to mold myself into someone jo mere khayal se tumhien pasand tha. I shouldn't have done that. I started pestering you so much that I turned myself into a doormat. Aur abhi jab mien Tulsipur aayi thi, tab bhi, I was so caught up in my own insecurities that I couldn't really be there for you. Mien tumhara pyaar banne ke chakkar mein tumhari dost banna bhul gayi. Tumhe na theek se console kar paayi, na hi tumhe theek se advice de paayi."

"Aisa nahi hai Mallika!", Batuk quickly interrupted. "Just your presence was enough to make me feel better. And tumhari insecurity bhi meri wajah se hi paida hui na?"

Feeling a fresh wave of shame and remorse washing over her, she pressed the bridge of her nose, and then tiredly said,

"Mager Batuk, phir bhi yeh ghalat tha. Mere actions ghalat thay. Aur yeh sab ghalatiyan kerne ke liye tumne mujhe nahi kaha tha. Yeh meri khud ki mistakes thy. I now understand it. So, for the past, let's try to bury it and forgive each other for the mistakes we made towards one another. But…aagay kia kerna hai, I don't know… I really don't know."

And then, expressing her vulnerability, she whispered,

"I am scared, Batuk.”

Sighing resignedly, he clenched his eyes shut as if trying to block out the feeling of pain that his heart felt just now. It took him a while to recover from her “polite” blow, but then he said,

“I understand, Mallika. And, let's be honest… I have given you enough reason to feel scared too. So…It's okay. I understand your stance.”

Thinking that Mallika had completely rejected him, he was about to end the call when her soft voice rejoiced him as she said,

“Lekin Batuk, I was your friend from the beginning. And I don't mind continuing being that even now. I ..I think let's give both of us a chance again. Let's begin our relationship as friends again. Phir aagay dekhte hain… maybe we will eventually evolve into something that Bondita and Anirudh dada have. Woh lovers ke ilawah bhi aik doosre ke liye sab kuch hain. Woh best friends hain…woh partners in crime hain, woh aik doosre ke confidante hain. I… I envied that relationship Batuk…and I got very jealous when I saw you trying to mimic that with Bondita back then too. Lekin... sach yeh hai ki ager mujhe aise relationship ka chance milay tou I will feel myself to be the luckiest woman alive.”

Hearing her honest confession and her innocent wish, a smile formed on his lips as he absently ran his finger on the message written for him in the black diary and asked,

“Do you really want that, Mallika? Anirudh Dada aur Bondita ke beech jo hai, woh buht dangerous hai. I am seriously allergic to it, and I still don't know mujhse hoga bhi ya nahi.”

Smiling in response as he repeated the words he had said that day, she asked,

"Batuk, uss din tumne kaha tha that tum kisi se pyaar nahi kar sakte kyunki tumne apne Big D ko aise ladki ke liye barbaad hote dekha hai jo unke zindagi mein wapis nahi aayegi. Kya tum tab Bondita ki baat kar rahe thay?"

"Haan Mallika, Big D in aath saalon me usika intezaar kar rahe thay."

“But Bondita wapis aa gayi na? Aur dono kitne khush hai ek saath. Phir tum kyun ho unke relationship se itna allergic, Batuk?"

Sighing harshly this time, his smile dropped as he said tightly,

“Yehi tou masla hai. It is a one-way kind of a relationship. Big D hamesha Bondita ke liye sacrifices kerte rahay hain. Tumne khud dekha… apni jaan tak per khel gaye woh Bondita ke liye. Lekin Bondita… she just enjoys what she receives from Big D, mager I don't believe usne unke liye kuch sacrifice kia bhi hai kabhi. Woh hamesha apni marzi kerty hai, aur hamesha Big D uski marzi ke agay jhukte aye hain. Big D ki khushi, unki marzi ke baare mein Bondita ne kabhi socha hi nahi.”

Frowning now, she recalled her recent telephonic conversation with Bondita, and said,

“But Batuk, Bondita is not the selfish type. I mean… jab mien Roy Chaudhary haveli mien thy, miene tabb bhi dekha tha. Woh tou buht generous aur loving hai. Aur abhi jab miene uss se kuch din pehle phone per baat ki thy, tab bhi woh...”

"Wait a minute… Tumne Bondita ko phone kiya?"

"Haan…" Her voice dropping a notch, she said quietly, “I confessed my crimes to her, Batuk.”

A loud gasp escaped his mouth as he exclaimed,

“Bloody hell Mallika! You really did that?”

His response was a little upsetting, but she decided not to dwell on it, and after a little pause, she said,

“I needed to confess, Batuk. I had wronged her. I told you before na that my guilt wasn't letting me live.”

Chewing on his lip now, Batuk was anxious. He asked impatiently,

“Phir kia hua? Bondita buht naraz hui hogy na tumse?”

Drawing some air, she took a deep breath and then replied,

“Haan… of course. Aur uska naraz hona justified bhi tha. Lekin Batuk, mere itne baday crime ke baad bhi she didn't yell at me… she didn't insult me. You won't believe, usne mujhe aik chance de dia to earn her forgiveness!”

Slowly releasing his bated breath, he thought for a while and then said,

“Well… I have to give her that. She has a big heart. Woh mujhe bhi bachpan mien meri ghaltion per buht easily maaf ker dety thy. So, maybe…that hasn't changed yet.”

And then, as if it dawned on his just now, he asked her,

“Wait a second… Chance dia? To earn her forgiveness? What does that mean, Mallika?”

Smiling a bit on his impatient tone, she relayed everything that happened during her conversation with Bondita. And then, her smile deepened as she said,

"Bondita ne mujhe kaha ki uski forgiveness earn kerne ke liye mujhe kuch kerna hoga."

Perplexed, Batuk stood up from his desk chair as he wondered out aloud,

"Bondita ne maaf kerne ke liye shart lagai? She's not like that…" And then, a memory flashed in his mind as he gasped,

"Bloody hell, Mallika!!! Usne tumhien bhi kia Murgha bann ker anda dene ko bola?"

The notion was so absurd that Mallika couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter.

"Murgha! Anda!! What are you even saying, Batuk?"

His heart warmed on hearing her dorky laughter once again after such a long time. He absolutely loved how she used to carry her desi, Punjabi side with her, unapologetically, and with an air of confidence and a persona of haughty indignance back in Italy. He used to find her extremely adorable back then, and her spontaneous laughter always made his heart flutter.

Even now, her laughter pulled the strings of his heart ever so gently, and smiling to himself, his cheeks turning a bit red in embarrassment as he mumbled,

"Uh... woh... bachpan mein... Aik baar miene aik ghalti ki thy tou Bondita ne mujhe yehi saza di thy. But phir her own heart melted and she forgave me just like that." The warmth of the fond memory also started slowly engulfing his heart and he lightly added, without thinking much,

"Waise Bondita aisi hi hai. Maaf ker hi dety hai. Uska dil buht bada hai."

Mallika, who was still giggling at the cute tale that Batuk told her about his childhood, heard Batuk's last remark and wondering out, she asked,

"Waise Batuk, jab tum jantay hi ho ke Bondita kitni achi hai, tou phir kyun tumko uss se itni nafrat hai? As far as I see, mere hisab se tou woh tumhari best friend reh chuki hai. How can you hate her so much then?"

All the warmth that Batuk's heart was basking in suddenly vanished, and his heart shivered in the sudden blast of cold that consumed his whole body, mind, and soul!

Why did he hate Bondita so much?

He knew he hated her…

He thought it was because his Big D died for her…

Lekin Big D tou zinda hain… so… yeh reason tou waise hi moot hogya.

Kaka ki baat bhi galat hai, Big D ko bhi Bondita se koi issues nahi hai.

Why else did he hate her?

The frigidity turned into a shunned, perplexed silence as he pondered over Mallika's question.

Mallika felt his silence, and she understood his internal battles.

She knew that he was looking for reasons again...but this time, his lookout was for all the wrong reasons!

And being his friend, Mallika decided that she needed to nudge him in the right direction. So, without waiting anymore, she somberly said,

"Batuk, miene kaha tha na ki Bondita ne mujhe forgiveness earn kerne ke liye aik task dia tha. Poocho ge nahi ke woh kia tha?"

When he could only mutter a small "Hmm…", she said, emphasizing on each and every word,

"Batuk, miene Bondita ke babies ko maarne ki koshish ki thy. Iss major crime ke liye woh mujhe sari life jail bhi bhijwa sakty thy. Lekin usne bola ki…"

Pausing to take a deep breath, she said,

"Usne bola ki mere jaisi educated ladki ko India mein reh ker, yahan ki aurton ke liye, women empowerment ke liye kaam kerna hoga. Bondita aur Anirudh dada ka jo mission hai, usko agay badhanay mien help kerna hoga. For one year. Ager mien yeh ker lety hun, tou Bondita mujhe maaf ker de gy. And after that one year, I will be free to go wherever I want."

Batuk felt numb.

He really didn't know what to say or how to react to this piece of information.

Mallika was getting emotional once again on recalling that conversation with Bondita as she said in a quivering voice,

"Batuk, socho. Us ladki ka dil kitna bada hoga jo mujh jaisi paapi ko bhi aik chance de rahy hai apne buray karam ko acchay karam se badalne ke liye. Just imagine Batuk, woh mujhse kuch bhi kerwa sakty thy. Ager woh mujhe apni maid bannay ki bhi saza dety tou mien accept kerty. Lekin usne mujhe jo 'saza' bhi di, woh bhi actually doosron ki bhalai ke liye hi hai. She's not using me for herself… she's giving me a path jis per chal ker mien apni jaisi kitni aurton ke raaste ke kantay chun sakty hun. Aur indefinite period ke liye bhi nahi. Just for a year. At the end of the day, dekha jaye tou usne choice bhi mujhe hi de dy!"

Pausing to let all this sink, she asked him quietly,

"Abh tum mujhe batao Batuk, kia yeh ladki tumhare Anirudh dada ke jaisi hi nahi hai? Anirudh dada ne apne ander ki roshni se Bondita jaisi mashal ko agni di. Abh Bondita agay mashal se mashal jala rahy hai... Anirudh dada ne jis terha loagon ke liye asani paida kerne ki koshish ki, Bondita bhi wahi ker rahy hai. Woh sirf unki patni hi nahi hai, woh Anirudh dada hi ki extension hai. Bondita Anirudh dada mein aise ghul mil gai hai, absorb hogai hai, ke uske actions, uski soch, sab kuch unke jaisa hi hogya hai. Koi kisi mien iss terha beghair kisi strong feeling ya emotion ke kaise ghul sakta hai? Ager Anirudh dada uss se pyar kerte hain, tou khud socho Batuk, how is it possible that his love remained one-sided all this while? Jis terha ke woh hain, koi bhi kaise unse pyar nahi ker sakay ga? Aur baat kyunki Bondita ki hai, jis per unhone, as you say, apna sab kuch luta dia, woh Bondita kaise unki feelings reciprocate nahi kerty hogy? Bondita jis terha unke har har rang mien dhal chuki hai, aisa kaise hoskta hai ke woh apne aap ko sirf iss liye badli ho kyunki bass woh uske pati thay aur usko unse koi lagaav hi nahi tha?"

Giving him time to reflect, she said after a while,

"Abhi thodi deir pehle mien yehi keh rahy thy na Batuk ke jab hum relationship mien thay, uss waqt I had changed myself for you. Miene waise hi bannay ki koshish ki thy jaise mujhe laga ki tumhien pasand hai. Lekin Batuk, miene aisa kyun kia tha? Tumne yeh socha?"

She heard him expelling his breath. She knew he was dumbstruck. He really was! She knew he was listening to her very intently, and so, she said,

"Miene aisa iss liye kia tha kyunki mujhe tumse pyar tha, Batuk. Koi apne aap ko isi liye badalta hai kyunki woh samnay walay ki nazron mien 'acceptable' and 'admirable' hona chahta hai. Mera aisa kerna iss liye ghalat tha kyunki aise kerne mien miene original Mallika ko kahin peeche chhod dia tha. On the other hand, Bondita hamesha se Anirudh dada jaisi hi thy. She didn't change herself. Instead, woh Anirudh dada ki modified version hi hai."

She waited for a while to let Batuk's mind process all of this, and then she said,

"Jab mien Haveli mien thy, tou aik raat tum club chalay gaye thay. Bondita iss liye udaas thy kyunki she thought that her 'Patibabu' was avoiding her. Aur mien iss liye udaas thy kyunki my boyfriend was ignoring me. Uss raat hum dono ne beth ker buht baatien ki thyn. Bondita ne mujhe tum loagon ke childhood ke baray mien bhi bataya, aur uss ne apni poori story bhi sunai. The way she was talking about Anirudh dada...Batuk… woh sirf 'pyar' nahi tha. Aisa lag raha tha jaise woh unko 'worship' kerty ho. There was so much reverence, respect and fondness in her tone for your dada. Jahan tak miene samjha hai, their love story is pretty unique. Tum ne bhi mujhe bataya tha ke kaise Anirudh dada usko aik responsibility samajhte thay pehle. Lekin miene un loagon ki relationship ko buht carefully analyze kia hai Batuk. I believe Anirudh dada ko uss se shayad attachment bhi isi liye start hua hoga kyunki woh unhi jaisi thy. Unko us mien apne jaisa spark nazar aaya hoga. Aur aisa hi shayad Bondita ke sath bhi hua hoga. Woh dono aik sphere ke 2 halves hain. Both the halves connect to make the sphere complete. Ya keh lou, Bondita apne pati babu ka mirror image hai. I believe, Un ka pyaar buht organically develop hua hoga… Aur woh dono taraf se hi equally hoga. Aisa ho hi nahi sakta ke Bondita Anirudh mien ghul jaye aur Anirudh Bondita mien dhal jaye... beghair bepannah pyar ke. Aur rahi baat sacrifices ki, ya efforts ki, tou tab Bondita ke efforts kam ho sakte hai kyunki woh bahut chhoti thy, aur Dada pe dependent thy. Isme kuch galat nahi hai. Aur saare efforts, saari sacrifices obvious nahi hoti. Kya pata, agar tum Anirudh Dada ki nazron se dekho, toh Bondita ka contribution bhi samajh jaao?"

She knew it was some really heavy talk that she had had with an ill but still recuperating Batuk, so, stopping for a bit, she thought for a while and said,

"Think about it, Batuk. Jo ladki aisi hai, jisko tum bhi bachpan se jante ho...jo tumhare dada ki parchaayee hi hai… tum uss se kia waqai utni nafrat kerte ho jitni tum believe kerte ho? Aur ager kerte ho, tou kia woh waqai uss nafrat ke layak hai? Think about it carefully, Batuk. Aur jaise tumne humare liye reason socha tha, waise hi iss baray mien bhi soch ker mujhe batana. Mien tumhare reason ko sunnay ka wait kerun gy."

After another long silence, Batuk sighed and finally spoke.

"Thanks Mallika, you have given me a lot to think about. Mein reason dhoond ke tumhe call karunga."

As he was about to end the call, she interrupted him, her voice hinting the smile that was playing on her lips,

"Waise… tum bina reason ke bhi call kar sakte hou… reason milne ka wait karna zaroori nahi hai"

Despite all his emotional turmoil, an answering smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he replied,

"Sure... Mallika... and thank you… Waise.." he paused, and then, very sincerely added,

"Mallika... I would love it ager tum bhi mujhe call kero jab tumhara mann kere. I am... I am always available for you… just one call away from you."

Her smile deepened as a faint blush reached her cheeks and she replied happily,

"Zaroor…"

"Also, tumne bataya nahi ke Bondita ne diya task poora karne ke liya kya plan hai tumhare paas?"

"Arey haan! Tou mujhe na, yahan Delhi mein ek Women Welfare group mila hai hai jahan mai…… "

Batuk listened intently as Mallika rambled on about her work at the Welfare group, unable to stop himself from smiling like a loon, and fervently wishing that this conversation never ends.

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