Chapter 3 A
Hola Peeps.
Back with an update really soon, mainly because I'm trying to procrastinate studying 
This is based on a quote I really like from Kiss An Angel and the song Change Your Mind by Boyce Avenue. Please read the lyrics/listen to the song if you can. I took inspiration from the same for a story I did earlier, so pardon me if you've read that Although, the pieces are completely different.
Also, I love working with songs. So suggest any songs, Hindi/English if you want and I can try to take inspiration from them. Also because AbhiRa are shown to be quite musical.
Again, part of a longer chapter.
P.S: Not proof-read.
P.P.S: Do not copy my work without my permission. I have sole copyright over it.
C H A P T E R 3 A
“I don't love you anymore", she whispered. "I don't love you at all." His throat closed. "It's all right, sweetheart. I love you enough for both of us.”
― Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Kiss an Angel
Akshara spent the whole day walking on eggshells so as to not run into Abhimanyu or Aarohi. It was a good thing that after a week of being on leave, there was almost no time to spare.
Abhimanyu, she could handle, she thought off-handedly. After the embarrassing incidents of yesterday and today, she didn’t think it could get worse. But she tried not to tempt fate. And also refused to think about what his words meant this morning.
But her half-sister was another story. Even with a few days apart, there was no change in her feelings related to her. What would a few days do that three years of separation couldn’t do? She didn’t know why it was so hard for Aarohi to understand her feelings towards her. Over the years, there had been plenty of moments when Akshara’s patience had almost given out, when her agony and dismay over being labelled Sirat’s killer had almost taken over, and she had almost responded to her vindictive claims. Almost.
Almost.
But then her step mother’s face would come at the forefront of her mind - requesting her to always support her daughter. And Akshara did not have it in her conscience to destroy a dying woman’s request.
More than ten years had passed. That fateful night had all but destroyed an already crooked relationship. Although she made it a point to never think about it, sometimes she thought about how life would have turned out if she hadn’t gone behind Aarohi that day. Sirat would have been alive. She wouldn’t have had to live away from the family in order to appease her sister. She wouldn’t have lost a mother all over again.
During her darkest moments, she would let Aarohi’s accusations take over. She had been told not to do so but sometimes the iron clad control she had over her thoughts slipped and she would imagine a world where she wouldn’t exist. Where her father and step mother would have been a couple taking care of their child Aarohi.
After all, no matter what Naksh mama or Keerti Bua said, she had been responsible for all the carnage that had happened that day. There was truth to Aarohi’s words, no matter how bitter they were. Why else would no one in her family support her?
“The problem doesn’t lie in Arohi’s accusations, Akshara. It lies in your own guilt.” She remembered her therapist’s words from years ago, as she arranged the chords on her guitar. She scoffed derisively. Get rid of her guilt?! As though there was any way to change the past.
A tear ran down her cheek as she imagined a world without herself in it. She closed her eyes as she thought of a happy Aru. A smiling Sirat. Her grandparents with a grin on their faces. Her brother being coddled by his cousins. An angonized Abhimanyu.
Her eyes opened with a start as his face came into mind. He exuded a calm demeanour but his eyes had held more pain than she could fathom.
As she wiped off her tears, and got up from her stool, she tried to understand her emotions. Why was it that she knew that her absence would have hit him the hardest. Why was it that her heart knew that a man she had met a few months ago would probably have been crushed with despair if something were to happen to her?
*********
Abhimanyu had similarly spent the whole waiting for a glimpse of Akshara. He knew she was busy - so was he, considering the fact that even his aunt wasn’t present at the hospital, and he had a back-log of cases he needed to get through. He went through his rounds and worked on his case notes, with one eye on the door - but she never showed.
Figures. You scared her this morning, you dolt.
Resisting the urge to smash the paper weight she had been staring at this morning, he made his way to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Her voice drafted over from the nearby room and his feet took him to her without his knowledge. She was all alone, he noticed, strumming a few notes on her guitar, her words too low for him to understand.
And then there was silence. He could see just a side of her face, but he saw an errant tear make its way down her cheek. Her eyes were closed and then a few moments later she opened them as though in shock. He had just moved away from the door, when she came crashing out, not noticing him.
As was the norm, his feet took him behind her rushing form as she exited the hospital.
She had barely reached her car when she felt a pressure on her wrist. Turning around, she saw Abhimanyu holding onto it.
“Are you alright?” He asked softly.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” She asked him back defiantly.
“If the red rimmed eyes, and the Rudolph nose are any signs, I would say you were crying.”
“You would be sorely mistaken” she replied, trying to get him to leave her wrist.
“Stop struggling,” he requested.
Turning her face sideways, she stopped her futile attempts at running away.
“What if I told you I saw your tears?”
She sighed. Unable to look into his eyes, which she knew would automatically see through her brave front, she decided to play it safe.
“You’re stalking me then?”
“I don’t need to stalk you. When it comes to you, my heart is auto tuned to know what you feel.” He solemnly replied, his fingers moving soothingly over her wrist.
“Kya chahte ho, Abhimanyu?! I’m…I….. I don’t have anything to give you. No answers. No rebuttals. No love! Why don’t you understand that?” She cried out finally, not able to absorb his warmth any more. She could have lived with his anger, but this understanding behaviour was way outside of her tolerance limits.
He left her wrist, and instead placed both his hands on her cheeks, turning her face towards him and making her look into his eyes.
“I don’t want any answers, Akshara. I don’t want any rebuttals. But your love? I want…no. I need all of it. And you can deny it all you want, but your eyes, your voice, your entire being, shines with the love you have for me.”
They didn’t blink as they stood there in the hospital parking lot, staring into each other’s eyes, and no matter how much Akshara wanted to pull away, the tangible connection they always seemed to have, wouldn’t let her. A sob escaped from her mouth, and Abhimanyu helplessly held onto her, trying to hold in his own anguish. He shook his head as another sob shot like an arrow through his chest.
A horn from the street outside caused them both to startle from their own little slice of hell and they both closed their eyes and took deep breaths.
“I know you love me, Akshara. One day, you’ll accept it. But till then, I love you enough for the both of us. Jitna intezaar karana hai, kara lo. Main yahin rahoonga.” He told her, slowly removing his hands from her cheeks.
Picking up the forearm that he had held a few minutes ago, he gently laid a kiss on the inside of her wrist, noticing with a tinge of pleasure that a shiver had ran through her. He opened the door to her car, and motioned her to sit inside.
Akshara didn’t have an answer to his claim and she was surprised by the intensity of not just what she saw in his eyes, but also in what she had felt when he had claimed to love her so limitlessly. An unbidden feeling of joy, a sense of euphoria had taken over her senses just for a moment at his words, before it was gone. She didn’t reply to his gentle goodbye, as she sat in the car and drove off.
But her eyes remained on the lonely figure she had left behind, and a sense of belonging rushed through her, as she saw through her rear view mirror, that he stayed at the same spot till she was out of his sight.
Just like he had claimed.
*****
Abhimanyu woke up to an insistent voice that wouldn’t stop bugging him no matter how much he tried to get rid of it. He’d already thrown away his phone when the alarm had rang the second time around, so this new voice that wouldn’t stop pestering him was confusing even as he dwindled the fine line between asleep and awake.
“Akshara?” He thought to himself. Just before that stupid blaring alarm had broken his dreams, he had been thinking about her - wearing that Gopi festival’s lehenga and slightly shaking him - urging him to wake up. He felt the arm on his shoulder, nudging him awake again, and he smiled in his sleep.
Slightly caressing the hand on his chest now, he gently brought it below his head. “Akshara.”
“-’s dewar.” Sitting up with a start he looked at the confused and amused face of his brother. Dropping his brother's hand as though burned, Abhimanyu swallowed as he took in Neil’s face.
“If you would have kissed me, I would have gone into shock, Bhai.” Neil joked, sitting on Abhimanyu’s bed.
Blushing, Abhi tried to get rid of the sleep-ridden cobwebs around his mind. “When’d you come? Did everyone also return?”
“Nope. Just me and Nishtha. Mom’s going to come tomorrow.”
Wearing his discarded shirt lying on the floor, Abhimanyu sat against the headboard and hummed a tune.
“You seem chipper. Anything of interest?”
When Abhimanyu shook his head in a negative, Neil added, “So you did not meet any old acquaintances, say, two days ago?”
“When you already know, why are you annoying me?” Abhi asked grudgingly. Where was Akshara when you needed her?! She didn’t leave him alone in his thoughts, and his dreams had also become her second home. He was going to have to start charging her rent.
Neil muttered something under his breath which suspiciously sounded like “Whipped,” before Abhimanyu hit him over the head with his pillow.
“Shut up, get out and hand me my phone before you leave.” Abhi ordered in a no nonsense tone.
Neil threw the phone into his waiting hands before leaving the door singing out loud, “Shaam Savere Ab Main Joru Joru Kahunga, Main Joru ka Ghulam Ban ke Rahunga” and ducked when another pillow was thrown in his direction.
*******
Akshara was having breakfast when her phone buzzed.
She looked at her family, too busy talking to each other, and slowly picked up her phone.
Abhi: “Good Morning Beautiful.”
She dropped her phone before it chimed again.
Abhi: “We may not meet today, so here’s your morning wish.”
She surreptitiously glanced at her family before replying.
Akshara: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Abhi: “You don’t remember your dream?” The reply was instant.
Akshara: “I don’t have any such dream.”
Abhi: “What dream would that be?”
Akshara: “You know what I’m talking about.”
Abhi: “How would I know about a dream you say you have not been having?”
Akshara: “About you wishing me good morning and kissing me.”
Abhi: “Ah. That one. Must be mine then.”
Abhi: “Although I never said anything about a kiss.”
Akshara blushed furiously as she read the last text and realising that he was right. How was she always landing herself in such a stupid mess with him?!
She almost choked on the fruit she was eating, as her uncle turned towards her and asked, “What happened? Who are you talking to?”
She quickly drank her water before replying. “Just a friend from work.”
“A certain doctor friend or someone else?”
“Someone else.”
“How many people in that hospital call you beautiful? Maybe your brothers need to check this place out.” Krish joked from beside her which was when she realised that he had seen the first text.
She saw Kairav looking suspiciously at her before he started humming “ABHI na jao chod kar, ki dil ABHI bhara nahi. ABHI ABHI toh aaye ho, …….”and the rest of the family joined in, putting special emphasis on the word Abhi and Akshara willed the earth to swallow her whole.
As everyone around the table started guffawing, Akshara bowed her head and drank some more water. These family breakfasts were becoming hazardous to her health.
*********
A few hours later, she made her way through the doors of Goenka Villa with her aunt. Mama had forbidden her to come here and it had taken some amount of persuasion for him to agree to let her go home, and only when Bua had assured him that she would accompany her.
Her MiMi and grandmother greeted her as she made her way in, hugging her and asking her to take a seat.
“How are you? With you gone, even the happiness of this house disappeared.” Mimi graciously told her. Akshara thought to herself, not for first time, that why wouldn’t they call her, if they missed her so much. But she didn’t say much, and just sat there holding her great grand mother’s hands as she chatted with Keerti Bua.
When a few minutes of idle chatter had passed, Suwarna asked haltingly, “You’re not going to come back home? Itna naraaz ho?”
Akshara smiled reassuringly at her grandmother. “Why would I be upset, Badi Maa? But even that house is my home. I just needed a little time away is all.”
“Of course. Spoil my life and then run off where your uncle can act as your bodyguard.” Akshara didn’t have to turn her head to know that the voice belonged to her sister.
Bua started to say something, but Akshara shook her head.
“Anyway, Badi Maa, why would she need this house when she has her aunt and uncle at her beck and call?” Aarohi added bitterly.
"Aaru, it isn’t like that. Akshara doesn’t care about any of that” Badi Maa said in a placating tone. “And don’t hash out old memories now. Akshara was just telling us that she has started going back to the hospital.”
As Akshara looked into Aarohi’s eyes, she knew her next words were going to be venomous, but it still shocked her when she said, “Oh. I know Badi Maa, in fact the whole hospital knows. It isn’t everyday that a therapist is seen canoodling with a senior doctor in the parking lot, that too a few weeks after his wedding is called off. Khule aam rangraliyaan manayi jaa rahi thi.”
Abruptly leaving Mimi’s hands, Akshara stood up. “I’ll come visit some other time, Mimi. I just realised that I have some other work to do.”
Before her grandparents could reply, she looked at Aarohi and inhaled a deep breath. “I’ll see you at the hospital.” She said and left the great room. She didn’t pay attention but she knew her aunt was saying something to everyone but at that moment she didn’t care.
As the driver drove them back home, with Keerti Bua looking at her in despair and holding her hand reassuringly, Akshara’s attention was not on her soothing words. She thought about her sister’s words. For the first time in long time, it hadn’t hurt her that Aarohi was upset. What had upset her though was how degrading she had made such a poignant moment seem. A good memory forever tainted with her venom. Wasn’t that her life?! she thought bitterly.
*******
Abhimanyu had just completed his scheduled surgeries of the day, and sat in his car, when his phone started buzzing.
He noticed the caller and picked up the phone - “Hey Triple-B.”
“What happened in the parking lot yesterday?” Naksh’s voice denoted barely held restraint.
“Excuse me?” Abhi asked, confused at the sudden question.
“What happened between you and Akshara in the hospital parking lot yesterday?”
Abhi drew in a confused breath and tried to think of a good way to put the incident. “Nothing. She was sad and I just asked her the reason. Why? What happened? Who told you something happened?” Abhi had his own set of questions.
Naksh didn’t know whether to believe him but he answered, “Aarohi said something about it today. Look Abhimanyu, I might support you when it comes to Akshara but I won’t have her respect being tarnished, okay? So if something happened, I need to know the truth. And if it didn’t, just make sure it doesn’t in the future either.”
Abhimanyu ran his hand through his hair and sighed. The one person he needed in his corner had started doubting his intentions. “Nothing really happened, Sir. Akshara was crying about something and I tried to talk to her about it because I didn’t think she was in a state to drive. She didn’t answer so I had to let her go.”
At his sincere tone, Naksh calmed down a bit. When Keerti had informed him about the happenings in her house, his first instinct had been to march down there and confront his other niece. But that was like hitting a brick wall with his own head so he had called Abhimanyu. He had wanted to talk to Akshara but she had simply come home and gone to sleep and he didn’t want to wait for her to wake up. Why she was crying, well he would ask her about it soon enough.
“I’m going to give you the benefit of doubt, mainly because I trust Akshara.”
“Thank you. You have my word that I’ll never do anything to ruin her reputation, Sir. I love her too much for that.”
“So are you ready for tomorrow?” Naksh asked suddenly.
“All the work’s been done, Triple-B. Let’s hope all goes well.”
Naksh smiled and then belatedly asked Abhi, “What’s Triple B?”
Abhi laughed at his inquisitive tone. “Well, that’s for you to figure out. I’m heading home, Sir. See you tomorrow.”
Naksh grinned as he kept the phone down, feeling a little lighter. Tomorrow couldn’t come here fast enough.
Abhimanyu’s ride back home was filled with thoughts of Akshara as usual. Her tears and sobs of the past day kept circling his head like a tragic video tape. Why Akshu? Why can’t you trust me?
Change Your Mind- Boyce Avenue
There you are with your perfect way
You’ve got that little shine in your eyes
To hear one word would make my day
But there’s no room for me in your life
Oh you’ve got me down on my knees
Oh and in my mind I can see
How perfect everything could be
But you won’t give us a try
If I could change your mind
How would you want me
Would you say you need me
Cause I need you now
I try to move on but your perfect way
Has got this little child asking why
But this world keeps spinning
As my heart stops beating
Is there still no room inside
Oh you’ve got me down on my knees
Oh and in my mind I can see
How perfect everything could be
But you won’t give us a try
If I could change your mind
How would you want me
Would you say you need me
Cause I need you now
If I could change your mind
(Please tell me I’m not the only one)
(Please help me believe I’m not the only one)
If I could change your mind
If I could change your mind
How would you want me
Would you say you need me
Cause I need you now
If I could change your mind
How would you hold me
Would you stay forever
Or just leave me here to drown
*********
Not really sure if you guys think it moved the plot forward but I wanted to show the family's slight acceptance of Abhi-Akshara and also a little about what Akshara feels.
The song, I think, perfectly captures Abhi's state of mind.
PLEASE press the like button and leave behind your comments. It's really the only motivating factor to write here!
Bisous,
NeNe
Your reaction
Nice
Awesome
Loved
LOL
OMG
Cry
Comments (0)