Chapter 5

-Rehanna-

@-Rehanna-

●Five● Passion And Pain~

"Are you ever afraid?" 

Neil looked up from his book, brows knitted in concern at the pain lingering in his Brother's words. Truth be told, he knew returning from one war to enter another would have an impact, he just didn't expect it to be so dire. Deep down he knew that it didn't matter where he lived if his mind was still imprisoned. Clearing his throat, he placed his book down "More than I'd like to admit, are you?" 

Abhimanyu turned his head, the lump in his throat bobbing as he swallowed harshly. "Fear is just an emotion, I can't afford emotions at a time like this, a weakness like that will get me killed" yet somewhere along the way, death felt more like peace than living ever could. 

"But you are scared?" He pushed. 

"I can't afford to be" he looked away again, eyes zoning in on the rain smashing against the window. 

"That doesn't mean you're not" he shrugged, "No one has control over how they feel". Eyeing him cautiously, he turned his head to the side; there was a darkness now, one that wasn't there before and it loomed over him like a shadow that would eventually catch up. 

Eyes ablaze with fire, he rose to his feet, stalking toward the door like a predator in search of his prey. This felt all too familiar, like he was caught in a trap he, himself had walked straight into and it was suffocating, to say the least. 

"Who is she, Bro?" 

At Neil's words, he froze, ice captivating his spine so he could neither walk nor run away. "What do you mean?" 

"The girl you danced with at the party, the girl who made you those cakes? Ever since then you've been more silent, more calculating, I've never seen a woman have this much of an impact on you since-". 

"Don't" Abhimanyu roared, hand up to stop him from saying another word, "Don't say her name" he pled, voice cracking like he wanted to fall apart but wasn't quite there yet. The tension was biting, ripping him apart shred by shred. Pinching the brim of his nose, he exhaled; "Her name is Akshara". 

Immediately understanding, he rose to place his hand on his older Brother's shoulder "And she scares you?" 

"Terrifies me" he whispered, head thrown back and eyes blinking fast to hold back tears. "She made my heart beat again and when you're alive there's only one thing that comes after". 

"Death" Neil muttered, grip stronger now to hold him up as the weight of his words came crashing down. 

~~~ 

"Uh" Akshara slid closer to her best friend, bouncing anxiously on her heels. "Have, have you heard from Abhi?" 

Hitching a brow, Hailey crossed her arms, "Why, missing him?" 

"No!" Her cheeks turned a hot red. "I just haven't seen him around...was just...wondering" her lips pursed sidewards uncomfortably. It'd been over a week since she'd ran from his house and every possible encounter since had led to her ducking, crouching and shuffling away. 

Sighing heavily, she turned on her heel "Listen, I love you, you know that but Abhi' her head shook, "Is important to me, he's family" her eyes became glossy as she sniffed. "I don't know what happened to make you run and hide everytime he comes around, but he doesn't deserve to be thrown aside like he's nothing, he's had that his whole life, do the decent thing and tell him outright why you don't want to be around him, that way at least his mind won't run rampant, no one is forcing you to be his friend, but don't act like he's the enemy". 

"I-" nibbling on her lip, she clenched her fist, "I never wanted to hurt him". 

"I know" Hailey smiled a watery grin in a weak effort to reassure her friend. "You see these kids abandoned every day, he's still that kid, just grown up, just because we're used to something, doesn't make it hurt less, if you were planning on dissappearing on him, you shouldn't have acted like you wouldn't, sometimes the best people with the best of intentions do the worst damage, you know why?" 

"Why?" She gulped painfully. 

"Because it's always the good ones who make you believe they'll be better, but they never are, then you're left wondering what makes you so bad that even a good person wouldn't stay, we expect pain from bad people, that lessens the blow, you're the unexpected and I don't mean that as a compliment". 

As quick as she'd uttered the words that left far too much in the air, she was gone, leaving Akshara alone with regret eating away at her resolve. 

"I'm sorry" she whispered into the silence, though she knew that wasn't enough. The truth was, she had no idea why she'd acted so shady, all she did know was that this man made her feel...things, things she didn't want or need to feel, things that would only serve to complicate an already difficult situation, but Hailey was right, there was no excuse for her behaviour, she'd acted like a child with no care for who she hurt. Something had to change, she had to be better because being worse wasn't an option. 

~~~ 

Abhimanyu entwined the blade through his fingers, watching it dip an inch away from each knuckle as it wound through each digit. Someone wise once told him that only the sensation of pain would serve as a reminder he was alive and it was those words that swarmed through his brain as he considered slicing the knife against his wrist. 

"Birla" a raspy voice cut through the air causing the sharpness of the silver to slice across the third finger on his left hand. 

Looking up from the log his foot rested upon, he shoved his tongue into his cheek in anticipation. 

"It's time" he clapped his Son's back, "The Saints are at their weakest point, if we hit now, it'll have a bigger impact". 

"You know I didn't come back for that, I don't want any part in the bloodshed, I came to help a friend, not to be your weapon" he turned to leave. 

"Then shall I send Neil in?" 

Feeling his breath catch in his throat till he almost choked, he growled as he faced him again "You leave him out of this!" 

"The Devil's have already contained the risk, Kairav has hardly any assets, hardly any weapons, but he has one weak spot, hit that then this is over". 

Grimacing at the thought, Abhimanyu swallowed back the metallic taste now rimming his gums. "And if I say no? All he'll do is come back worse, build up an empire and break us down, then what? When you start a war, you set all of us up to die, this won't end until there is only one man left, what if that man isn't you?" Shoving him back, he almost flinched as his Father's back slammed into the tree. 

"That man isn't meant to be me" he chuckled, "That man is YOU, YOU wipe them out, YOU make an alliance with the Sinners, YOU lead this town" each 'you' had led him closer till his face was right in front of his son's. 

"I DON'T WANT THAT!" He yelled till his voice became hoarse. "I don't want blood on my hands that I can't wash off, no good man builds a kingdom on the bones of soldiers that didn't understand the war they were fighting in". 

"It is better to be a bad man alive than a good man dead, this town wasn't meant to make a hero out of a human, this world is no fairytale, you think I got this high up by making easy decisions? I had to be this way so my blood would have a good life, that's the sacrifice I HAD to make" he spat, the venom in his words only burning the unshaky ground between them. 

"NO! It was a decision you choose to make, there was no gun to your head when you threw me into an orphanage, there was no gun to your head when you slept with another woman in hopes of making an alliance that broke our family apart and there was certainly no gun to your head when you placed one against my Brother's". 

Faltering back, Harshvardhan's face turned a dark red, eyes almost bulging from his skull as his glasses steamed up. "Your Mother was weak, she wasn't made for this life, she wanted a life of luxury but she didn't want what came with it, I gave her everything and more, one night away didn't break her heart, her hopes and dreams of love being enough did" snarling out the words, he shoved his hand into his hair, "And if Parth had listened and learned the way of this world rather than singing songs on the corners of the street then he would still be here, it was his selfishness that led to-". 

"To what? To what, huh?" Abhimanyu interrupted, muscles clenched and jaw firm as he pushed him back once more, "To killing him in front of everyone?" 

"I had to send a message, he disobeyed my orders by picking a microphone over a gun, he was warned, he was weak, nothing more than a stain on my shoe". 

"Passion didn't need to turn into pain, he wanted a life away from this and he deserved it! My Brother was stronger than anyone I have ever met, he was willing to die for what he believed in rather than kill for it, he was exactly like-" an astounding smack stole away his words, his Father's hand burning a mark into his cheek while disdain fuelled his blood. Looking up with a hand over his face, Abhimanyu chuckled emotionlessly, tongue slipping out to catch the blood dripping from his lip as he smirked. "Exactly like Ma". 

~~~ 

"Bhaiya, who's that?" Akshara leant in as she placed her bag on the floor, eyes tracing the picture that'd been bent far too many times. 

"He's the reason why this whole war started" Kairav grimaced, "After him" he swallowed painfully, eyes teary, "After him nothing was the same". 

Placing a hand over his, she leant her cheek against his shoulder "He was bad?" 

"No, no, Parth was the best, he taught us all to dream bigger and be better, his dream just cost him too much". 

Brows knitting, she frowned "What do you mean?" 

"Sit down, Akshu" he nudged her into the chair. "This is one story I never told you, but the one you need to hear the most".

I am superrr sorry this has taken so long! I will also be updating Ghost Of You very soon! I hope this makes up for the wait:)