~ Kissing in public places: Right or wrong? ~

Hello all,

I came across this news item and thought it would be an interesting topic for debate/ discussion.

A couple was caught kissing inside a Delhi Metro train recently and a video of them has gone viral on Twitter. Some Twiitterati are outraged calling it a shameful act going against Indian culture and others have said we should chill - it's common in Western nations and with increasing globalization, it should now be the new normal. 

A few years ago, constables moral policing popular couple hangouts were very common. They would be fined, threatened, and subjected to humiliation and extortion even if they were being discreet.  

Section 294 of the India Code states that (X) whoever, to the annoyance of others (a) does any obscene act in any public place, or (b) sings, recites or utters any obscene song, ballad or words, in or near any public place, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to three months, or with fine, or with both. 

Kissing may not be in the realm of an obscene act, however, kissing in a public place in full view of people has never been a thing in India. Some may argue that it goes against the very grain of our culture which is all about maintaining respect and decorum at least in public. 

Does this seem hypocritical when our films and OTT TV shows have become bolder when showing couples kissing or even making love? We do not see archetypal symbolism such as flowers kissing or blacking out to depict a screen couple making out anymore. 

So when media content has undergone a paradigm shift, and so - supposedly - have the mindsets of audiences consuming such content, do you think such moral policing should continue when it comes to real life? 

Should kissing between couples be looked at as an obscene act, a preamble to sexual activity or just a means of showing affection? When hugging and kissing children or your family is acceptable, can this outrage against romantic partners kissing be called out for discrimination?

Is it an erosion of Indian culture by "allowing" kissing in public? Or is calling it 'cultural genocide' an overreaction? Should denizens even be allowed to decide what is permissible based on what makes them comfortable? 

Would love to hear your views!

Here's a link to the TOI article

Another article in Hindustan Times

- Posted with permission from mnx12 and Armu4eva 

Figurative use of the word "genocide" is always an overreaction. It is disrespectful of all identifiable groups of people who are targeted for massacre and terrorized into hiding for their lives.

The tweet whining that no one had the courage to slap the kissing couple made me think of society's priorities, immortalized in Leonard Matlovich's epitaph. I would much rather see public kissing than public slapping.

We should be careful with assumptions about what has "never" been widespread in Indian culture. There were on-screen kisses in silent movies released in India - for example, A Throw Of Dice (1929), followed by talk movie Karma (1933).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_AJTXpdlPE

The most successful play of Marathi musical theatre, Saṃgīta Saubhadra, premiering in 1882 at the height of the Victorian period in India under British rule, didn't need to censor this speech of Kṛṣṇa to Rukmiṇī - a graphic invitation to foreplay:

kara-pāśīṃ yā tanulā

bāndhuni dhari śikṣelā

dharunīyāṃ keśāṃlā

danta-vraṇa kari gālā

kuca-bhallī vakṣālā

ṭoṃçuni dukhavīṃ mazalā

hāci daṇḍa yogya ase sakhaye mat-pāpā

In your arm-nooses this body

Bind and hold for punishment

Grabbing my hair

Tooth-wounds make on my cheeks

Sharp breast-arrows into my chest

Stab to cause me pain

Only this penalty is fitting, girlfriend, for my offence!

I am trying to recall examples of public kissing in Indian literature. Kissing in front of witnesses by pretending to do something else has a long history in romantic poetry. For example, in Kālidāsa's Meghadūta (link to the full verse will work after joining the Saṃskṛta Text Discussion Forum through the link in my signature):

Śabd'ākhyeyaṃ yad api kila te yaḥ sakhīnāṃ purastāt

Karṇe lolaḥ kathayitum abhūd ānana-sparśa-lobhāt

Even what he could tell you aloud, you know, in front of friends

He made a habit of whispering in your ear, just to touch your face.

Back to the topic of public kissing today, the 87-year-old Dalai Lama just apologized for inviting a 12-year-old boy to suck his tongue in public. Does the public nature of this playful overture rule out the possibility of sexual intent? Does the age difference make it more acceptable, or does the power imbalance make it less acceptable? Are those of us who don't mind public kissing equally comfortable with opposite-sex and same-sex kissing?

Personally, I feel uncomfortable when I am with family at public places and see a couple kissing. It feels awkward. Especially when there's kids around. I don't mind PDA but there should be a limit to it, otherwise get a room.😆

I don't think in India it's very common. Also PDA only to a certain extent looks good in public places. It's good to maintain a certain amount of decorum. Because otherwise its taken as vulgarity in the name of freedom, "ki hamari Marzi hum kare toh kare" etc etc🤣

I think it varies of what sort of kissing. If it’s a peck or a quick kiss goodbye I don’t think that should be an issue. If they’re eating each other’s faces off, it’s certainly going to be uncomfortable for the public. 

With south Asian countries such as India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, any sort of PDA is something private and has been out of the public eye, not just public, even within their own homes, they’d avoided showing affection outside of the bedroom, despite it being on the screens for decades. 

It wasn’t so apparent and bold and in every movie or tv show around the past times, but I feel some audiences have broadened their perspectives with these OTT platforms etc. Some have adapted the live and let live attitude which works for them. It doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. Not everyone has broadened their horizons and understanding of the changes that’s happening in our world. 

While it may seem hypocritical given the way OTT and films are, one would know that’s acting and a job. Whereas, this is something that’s happening in front of them. I do think south asians have this thing instilled within us to think about society a little and what one might presume or think if we do this or that. 

Abroad in UK or EU, USA, you wouldn’t blink an eye at a couple (irrespective of their gender) kissing because that’s just how it is and it’s acceptable. Whereas in south Asian countries or Middle Eastern countries, this will be frowned upon as that isn’t something that’s considered appropriate for the public especially with kids, elderly and families around. 

It’s uncomfortable for many, but it is an overreaction calling it a genocide of culture. Cultures are evolving as time passes. Some are living by ‘live and let live’ and you’re welcome to live by those. Others are still being considerate of the cultures, considering the societal pressures and living by those. It’s their own choices. It doesn’t mean one has to be disrespectful of one or the other. Whichever group one belongs in, just be respectful. It isn’t worth a headache. 

I think what’s an overreaction is taking a picture of a couple and someone writing an article and others insulting them for displaying affection in a private moment and what seems okay for them but because some don’t like it, they’re bashing them. From the picture, it seems they’re more snuggling and maybe shared a peck or two rather than playing tonsil tennis. There are bigger issues in this world than someone kissing 😂 

Tbh I personally feel like there needs to be a boundary between personal and public self. While there is nothing objectionable to a kiss given how Bollywood has always normalised it, i personally feel uncomfortable watching people kiss or engage in intimate display of love. I did like to keep it indoors so i understand the hullabaloo. 

Btw Interesting topic👍🏼

We are not ready for acceptance of public kisses yet. In small cities even hanf holding is frown upon. 

Capturing them in video or photos and sharing them to tabloid is wrong imo.

Originally posted by: Raijeera

We are not ready for acceptance of public kisses yet. In small cities even hanf holding is frown upon. 

Capturing them in video or photos and sharing them to tabloid is wrong imo.

Agree, public display of affection does not sit in with our society. Loads of families still get uncomfortable with onscreen kissing. 

On other hand, we have vids of Guys giving bj to each other in Delhi Metro, and another one pleasuring himself. Yet another Uncle watching p*rn in Delhi Metro. Imagine what we would see if kissing gets normalized. Do Not Need!!