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Chidananda Rupa Sivoham Sivoham
He knew..His ardent wish to get me into Sanskrit studies will definitely be fulfilled. Arjun won over applied mathematics.
The melody and devotion in the voice vied with each other. It still is too dark with only silence enveloping the surroundings.. I washed my face and reached the place where I would meet the owner of the voice..my grand mother.
I was Eight year old who doted on my grand mother for various reasons.
Firstly I loved the stories she will tell in between her prayers ,secondly I along with my brother relished the butter she would offer us to eat while churning the curd.
By the time me and my brother reached there she is churning asusual and started another of my favourite songs.
Alokaye Sri Bala Krishnam Sakhi ananda Sundara tandava Krishnam
The month is Karthik which is very special to my grand mother. She got up to light up Diya in the back yard at the Tulasi plant ..the Diya is shining so well but I am more attracted towards the Shiv ling placed under the plant ..it is too small but it is too imposing..
I looked at the Shiv ling and asked." Why is Shiv not without his body? Why do you worship this ...Kanha has body. He is cute..but this Shiv ling.. Strange.. Why?
My grand mother smiled at me and narrated the story of the emergence of Shiv ling,Brahma and Vishnu's attempt to reach the end..
Shiv should be worshipped as Shiv ling..He will be pleased.
I asked another question " whom do you like ? Kanha or Shiv? Who is great?
Grandmother placed her hand on my head and said." Sivasya Hridayam Vishnu..Vishnoh Hridayam Shivah.. Shiva's heart is Vishnu Visnu's heart is Shiva. Both are not different..
Like always I was so influenced by her words. I still remember her tone,her smiling face,the silent environment that looked charged up by her words.
I again looked at the Shiv ling..I felt a strange connection to that formless God.
My grand mother told me" Karthik month is very special..If we light up Diya the whole month Shiv will grace us...the darkness disappeared making way for Usha kanya in my Grand mother's language. Usha will invite Sungod to grace us with his lustre.. She is there .. She showed the orange blue sky..with golden hue.
By then my mother got up and became busy with her first job.. take the milk from our good old cowherd who used to bring fresh milk ,
My father who is a nature lover and Shiva devotee already took bath and is reciting his verses from Bheeshma Stuti..praise of Krishna by Bheeshma..
It Is only after I grew up I understood how right my elders are in worshipping both the gods equally.
Me and my brother still there with grand mother who is now plucking so many flowers from our back garden.' Go and drink milk.. She told us.
No.. We won't go till you narrate the story..
She knew what it is.. The story of Pandavas.. She completed the Draupadi swayamvar and she is too good that she adopts a simplelanguage to make us understand.
I still remember my question.." She married all the five? She felt bad?
She stared at me and stammered.." May be.. Who knows?
That was the moment I stuck a connect with the valiant prince and the beautiful princess. It continued still..in the journey of my life..
I became a graduate with mathematics as my special. I was so excited that I got an admission into my PG course in applied mathematics . Just next day I would have got into that but destiny and my father intervened and how?
My father came and said.." Join PG but not with maths ..Do it in Sanskrit literature.
I made a face." No. I love mathematics. Let me do that.
My father played his card well. He smiled and asked." Don't you want to know Arjun?
I did not understand. I confessed proudly." You know You only got me every book on Arjun..I know him. and I love him.
My father said." Yes you read. But not in Sanskrit. You just read the translations. If you want to know real Arjun you should read Ved Vyasa's epic.And for that you should get a grip on Sanskrit language. And you can write your own thesis on him...
He knew..His ardent wish to get me into Sanskrit studies will definitely be fulfilled. Arjun won over applied mathematics.
Nothing is permanent in this world. My grand mother also had gone..to unknown destinations may be to sing before my Sankar Shiv..
I grew up.. Many Karthika months passed away..My fascination for Shiv continued.. Read everything that I found out on the blue necked God..
Learnt Namakam chamakam.. By heart..
Again Karthika month ... Difference is I am seeing myself in place of my grand mother.. Taking early morning bath lighting up Diya before Shiv..
The legacy continues..hopefully ...with my daughter in my place
I poured water on the Shiv ling chanting.. Namastestu bhagawan visweswaraya mahadevaya triyambakaya tripurantakaya trikagnikalaya kalagni rudraya nilakanthaya Mrityunjayaya Sarveswaraya Sadasivaya Sri manmahadevaya namah..
.And my father ! He also went off to snowy peaks ,to see Nataraj Chandra Sekhar do Tandav at Pradosh...but not before seeing me write my own thesis on Arjun..
A tribute to my father who guided me towards my goal that made my life meaningful.
(A tribute to my grandmother who planted the seeds of devotion for my shiv in my heart.)
Lakshmi
( A flash back posted in mytho forum during Kartik month.
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