Disclaimer:
This is a fun post and not intended to hurt or offend anyone
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Concept by diya_divakar
Contributed by cool_wonder socioboss9797 and Onyourface
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PART 1: Who will be the captain?
PART 2: TIme to visit the jail
PART 3: The wild cards
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PART 1: Who will be the captain?
Jugnu: aaa bbbbn...aaaa itnaaaa bada kitchen....aaaaa
Kunal: Mai Mishti ke saath ek room mein nahi sounga🙄
Abir: is ghar mein common bed room hai...🙄
Kuhu: aur bath room bhi🙄
Nidhi: arey mara madiii re....itne saare camera...sab meri taraf ghumte hai...😍
Koslu: Meenu Ben...mein kya Kam karu...😊
Meenu: Mishti Ko first week mein vote out karne mein madad karna koslu😏
Shwet: huh...Inhe kya pata first week mein Atul jayega😏 show mein tikne ke liye love story banani padegi...I will try for Abir...nai to sasurji nai toh end mein Kunal toh hai hi😍
Jasmeet: idhar pura din kya karenge 🙄
Nanu: Mai kaisa lag Raha hu bro 😎
BP: Use koi farak nai padta Yashpal ji.. 😅senior citizens Ko pehle nikalte hai yeh
BM: khaana mein banau?
Meenu: rehne dijiye...main banaungi *thinks jo khana banata hai vo zyada time rehta hai na*😏
Mishti: mein tho Abhir ka hi saath dungi😘😍😍...mera Abhir hi jeetega
Kunal: mera Abhir
....
...... Bhai..AAP ki side wali bed meri 
....aur dusri side pe naanu....
Baba: Mishti dear.....AAP mere baju wala bed lelena beta
Meenu: ..........ye meeereeee pati hain mishti
....khaabaardaarrrr
Baba: AYEEEEEEEEEEE
Meenu: hosiyaar...
Kunal: yhe saab
Baba: Abhir beta...zaara count rakhna...ye gadheda jab bhi misti Ko blame karega....big boss ke ghar ke utne saare kaam iss kambhath Ko dedegne
Bigg Boss : sabhi ghar vale living area mein ikatrit ho jaye🧐
Shwet: kya ho jaaye?🤔
Koslu: ikatrit😊
Shwet: vo mujhe malum hai ...behri nahi Hun main...matlab pucch Rahi Hun🙄
Koslu: ek saath ho jaye🙂
Shwet: ohh...to mein Abir k saath ho jaati Hun😉
Kuhu: OMG #illbefamous 
Meenu: mere who kahan hai
Kunal: maa....mein jaanta Hun baba Kahan hai....ye ssab
Abhir: baba sunooo
Baba: BAAASSSS.....aye Abhir beta..... Washroom clean Kunal karega Aaj .. Count one
Kunal: Lekin meine Mishti ka Naam nahi liyaaa.. Not fair
...
Baba: everything is fair in love n WAR........
ABHIR:
Meenu: app theee kahaan Lekin
.....I missed you aeji..
Baba: washroom Gaya tha Meenakshi.
Abir: washroom se tumhe kuch yaad aata hai Mishti😉
Mishti: shut up Abir 😉
Jasmeet: haaye...mein pehle se bata deti Hun Abir...tu flush kar k rakhna...idhar toh common bathroom hai...🙄
Everyone sits...
Shwet uses the opportunity to sit between mishbir
Bigg Boss: sabhi gharwale.milke captain chune 🧐
Baba *mujhe abhir misti ki madath karni hogi*...big boss... Joo bhi pehele jaake geaser off karega, Pani ka tap baandh karega, hum Saab ke bed banayega ...who captain **
All want to be captain so all run immediately....but as soon as abhir Mishti get up....baba signals them to sit
Baba to abhir
Abhir: .....ohhhhhh..plaaannnnn
Mishti: abhir..kya huaaa
Abhir pulls Mishti close and both chipkoo n sit
Baba:
Abhir😍
Mishti:
Big Boss: aye naasspitoon...aase koi captain chun ta hai kya..Saab waapas bethoo......
Shwet: my seat
BIG BOSS: I'll select the capitan now.. Is AKHNSB .... Abir ke handsome n smart baba
Kunal: yeh captain ...maa yeh kya hai..Mai to first week mein hi ghar chala jaunga...🙄
Abir: nanko tujhe nahi jaane Dunga 🤗
Kunal: rehne do bhai...TV pe hai toh natak mat karo...aap toh chahte hi ho mein chala Jaun...taaki apki love story aage bade 🙄
Shwet: Kunal tum mere liye coffee banaoge😁
Kuhu: vo tumhara Naukar hai kya...sab apna apna kaam khud karenge #selfservice🙄😏
Mishti: Lekin kitchen mein dudh hi nahi hai🤨
Nanu: *thinks*... Dudh ki aakhri theli maine bed k drawer mein chupake Rakhi hai...raat to acidity ho jaati hai...sorry bachcho...karna pada...😌
Edited by Onyourface - 4 years agoPART 2: Time to visit the jail !
Kunal: yeh captain ...maa yeh kya hai..Mai to first week mein hi ghar chala jaunga...🙄
Abir: nanko tujhe nahi jaane Dunga 🤗
Kunal: rehne do bhai...TV pe hai toh natak mat karo...aap toh chahte hi ho mein chala Jaun...taaki apki love story aage bade 🙄
Shwet: Kunal tum mere liye coffee banaoge😁
Kuhu: vo tumhara Naukar hai kya...sab apna apna kaam khud karenge #selfservice🙄😏
Mishti: Lekin kitchen mein dudh hi nahi hai🤨
Nanu: *thinks*... Dudh ki aakhri theli maine bed k drawer mein chupake Rakhi hai...raat to acidity ho jaati hai...sorry bachcho...karna pada...😌
Bigg Boss : ab captain sabko ghar ki zimedari denge...aur kon is hafte jail jayega yeh sab aapas mein milke teh karenge...
Baba: Jail ke liye 3 nominate karo sab. Mishti beta, tum start karo.
Mishti: Umm, dekhiye yeh pehla week hain. Issliye abh tak maine kissi ko niyam todte nahi dekha hain. Lekin, iss ghar mein ashanti ab tak Kunal ne hi phailayi hai. Issliye main Kunal ko nominate karna chahungi. Dusra naam main Kuhu ka dena chahungi. I'm sure voh Kunal ke paas hi rehena chahegi. Tisra naam.....ummm.....main Atul ka dena chahungi khunki mujhe lagta hai voh vaise bhi gharpe kuch dialogue nahi dega. Usse better jail mein hi rahe.
Kunal:
Abir: Main bhi Kunal aur Kuhu i.e. Kuku ka naam dena chahunga. Tisra naam main Katrina ji ka dena chahunga.
Kunal: Bhai, aapko Mishti mujhse door le hi gayi.
Jasmeet: Haaye.. maine kya kiya? 
Abir: Nanko, honeymoon toh tujhse ache se manayi nahi gayi. Ab jail mein hi bita le apni wife ke saath samay. Katrina chachi, aap ne Mishti ke baare mein bohot apshabh bole hain issliye aap mera tisra naam hai.
Jasmeet: Phitte Muh!
Baba signals Meenu as the next person.
Meenu: Main...mera pehla naam Nidhi hain.
Nidhi: BenBa, aa toh daav thai gayu. Maine kya kiya? Maine BhaiPa ke mutabik Mishti ko koi dosh nahi thehraya. Maine Kunal ko bhi maine kuch bura bhala nahi kaha? Shu vaat che BenBa?
Ketki: Maa, yeh BhaiPa kaun hai?
Nidhi: Aye dobi Ketu! BenBa ke pati mere BhaiPa hue na? See, I'm so essssmart
Meenu: Nidhi, bhagwan ji jab dimaag baat rahe the toh tum kaha thi? Ane biji vaat, main kissi ko kuch explanation nahi dene vali mere nominations ka. Mera dusra naam, Vishambar ji hai. Aur tisra naam Mishti hain.
Baba: Kunal tum batao🙂
Kunal: shwet kuhu aur maa...😏
Meenu: Kunal tumahri himmat kaise hui mujhe jail k liye suggest karne ki...🤪
Kunal:. Aapko bhi pata chale...shwet aur kuhu k beech kaisa lagta hai...4th option nahi hai..Varna bhai Ko b bhejta...☹️
Abir:. Maine tujhe Mishti aur tere beech select nahi Kia uska Aisa badla🙄
BP: arey humse bhi toh koi pucho ...Hume kise jail bhejna hai...😊
BM: Bilkul sahi ji...😊
Kunal:. Aapki opinion matter nahi Karti...aap dono 2 week mein udne hi vale.ho😒
Mishti: Kunal stay in your limits okay🙄
Shwet: Mishti ghar mein English Bhasa nahi use kar sakte🧐
Mishti: tum mujhe rule mat sikhao🙄
Kuhu:. Mishti khud saare rules Tod ti hai...aur sab mujhe daant te hai ki main rules Tod ti hu...huh🙄
Jasmeet: chinta mat kar kuhu...vote out aane de...Mishti Ko pehle nikalenge😉
Kuhu: rehne do...aapki help nahi chahie...Mai Akeli khelungi ab🙄
*Tension atmosphere... everyone starts fighting*
Abir: *whispers *...Mishti bathroom area mein koi nahi hai...chalo na...😉
Mishti:. *whispers*...camera to hai Abir🙂
Abir: * whispers*. bathroom k andar nahi hai😉
Bigg Boss:. BB app sabhi gharvalo Ko Batana chahte hai ki vichar ne ka samay samapt ho Gaya hai...ab captain baba bataye vo 3 Naam jo jail jayenge🧐
Baba: Bigg Boss hum koi consensus pe nahi aa paye hai. Lekin main iss ghar ke captain hone ke naate yeh nirnay le raha hoon. Iss hafte Kunal, Kuhu aur Shweta jail jayenge.
Meenu thinking: Voh mujhe ab bhi prem karte hai. Issliye mujhe jail nahi bheja. Ab mujhe kitchen ki zimmedari leni hi padegi. Varna mera idhar tiqna mushkil hoga.
Nanu: Yo bro. Kya decision liya hain. Dil khush kar diya. Kunal, Kuhu aur Shweta beta, jail jaane ki taiyyari kar lo.
Kunal: What nonsense! Aap aisa kaise kar sakte hain? Ab mujhe dumb Kuhu aur gold digger Shwet ke saath rehna padega? Main aur jail? My foot. Mai nahi jaunga. 
Kuhu: Kya tumne mujhe dumb kaha? Jail chalo. Main tumhe dekhti hoon. Jail ki gobar wali gandi washroom ki safai tumse hi karvaoongi. 
Shwet: Oh Kunal! I can't wait to be in the bed next to you! 
Nidhi: Arey madha mari re! Kunal ki kaaaaarant aur ex dono saath saath. Kunal ki toh lottery lag gayi!
Kaushal: Mari vali kuch bhi.
Jasmeet: Muh boli aur Abir kaha hai? 
Everyone looks around.. Mishbir are nowhere to be seen.
Bigg Boss: Bigg Boss chahte hain ki captain Baba turant washroom jaake ke darwaza khatkhataye. Mishti aur Abir washroom se bahar nikaliye. Aur jin sadasiyon ko jail ki saza mili hai voh jail jaane ki taiyyari kare.
*Abir and mishti enter the living area...*
Baba: washroom mein kya kar rahe the🧐
Abir: me toh apna pet clear kar Raha tha..Mishti baju vale bathroom me thi😊
Mishti: aa..aaa haaa.yahi..seperate bathrooms mein the😊
Jas: Mai Bata deti Hun Pehle ki Mai Washroom ki duty nahi le Rahi🙄
Baba: chup ho jao saare...apna apna samaan lo aur jail k liye chalo..Abir sabko jail me dalo..aur haa koi khane ki chize jail mein nahi leke jayega🙄
*Shwet takes cookies along with her...no one knows about it*
*Underground jail*
Abir opens the jail
Kunal: *while entering*....show mein jitke rahunga bhai...ab main aur aap aamne samne...bohot hua...sab ne milke mujhe target Kiya hai😒
Abir: *intense* sambhalna mera kaam hai... nanko...tu rule todega toh jail mein Jaana padega...sabne vote Kiya na mere akele ka kuch nai tha😕
Shwet: *entering and purposely touching abir's shoulder*.... Abir thoda bada step hai.. madad karo na niche utar ne mein...😌
Abir: *removes her hand*ohh safedi...niche girne mein tumhe kaha madad ki zaroorat hai...jao khud hi🙄
Kuhu: *entering with her make up kit ...Abir takes that*..chalo kuch nahi toh #beauty pe Dhyan dungi....kal Salman aane vala hai😋
Abir: bro ...sorry...vapas de do...make up nahi use kar sakte jal mein🙂
PART 3: The wild cards
BB: Swagat kijiye is season k 2 wild cards...kokila modi jo hai meenakshi ji ki twin sister aur unki bahu Gopi ji ka...🧐
*Main door opens and they enter*
*Main teri Dushman ..Dushman tu mera...nai naagin tu sapera plays*
*Members standing near the garden watching them dance*
*Kuhu Kunal n shwet watching from jail*
BB: big Boss Ko Abhi bhi pata nahi chala ki Abhir Mishti washroom mein kya kar Rahe the..I mean..
Baba: dekh Abhir... Abh ye big Boss bhi puch rahein hai...
Mishti: baba ...... Ek bar jail mein Sab settle ho jaye... Phir hum aaraam se aapkoo
Abhir:...shhhhhhh.. Mishti.... Mere sanskaar....
Mishti: sirf dusroon ke liye
Meenu: .... Mera beta.. Mere diye sanskaar bhool gaya hai
Baba: aye Sanskar wadi......tu tho chup hi Kar.... Sanskaar..... Mein tere A-sanskaar par novel likh Sakta hHun
MISHTI: aur mujhe test drive karne nahi diya...
Abhir: tho abh washroom mein kya hua tha..
Mishti: engine start..bass😌😌😌🥰......
Meenu faints a little
Meenu: big Boss ji... Meri pariwar Ko bachane keliye mujhe jail see Baahar nikaliye..
Baba: aye... Maath karna Haan big Boss
Mean while Kokila Modi n Gopiv from far just listning
Kokila: hai Gopi......tu tho mere bete le sirf ek touch se pregnant ho gayi thi...
Yahaan to washroom mein kya kya hua maa jaane
... Aur ye kaun hai... ...
Kokila sees meenu
Gopi Vahu: Jai Shree Krishna. Mera naam hai Gopi.
Jugnu: Arey waah Gobi. Gobi manchurian mera favourite hain. Gobiben, mera naam Jugnu hai.
Nidhi: Kya bola, Dobi? Tumhara naam Dobi hai?
Gopi: Jugnu bhai, mera naam 'Gobi' nahi Gopi hain.
Jasmeet: Hayyo Rabba yeh kaisa naam hai? Humare mein toh Gopinder, Gurmeet jaise naam hote hain.
Kokila: Jai Shree Krishna. Mera naam Kokilaben Modi hai. Main Modi Kaajal Cosmetics company ki maalkin hoon.
Nidhi: BenBa, yeh toh kamaal ho gaya! Yeh toh bilkul aapke jaisi dikhti hai! Aa toh daav thai gayu! Aur Modi Kaajal brand aapka most pheeebrit hain na?
*Meenu eyes Nidhi making her stop talking in fear*
Kaushal: Moti ben, aapne mujhe pehle kabhi nahi bataya ki aapki ek judwa behen hain. Bapuji, aapne mere saath nainsafi ki hain. Kokiben meri behen hai? *combing his hair in nervousness*
Meenakshi: Jai Shree Krishna. Main Meenakshi Rajvansh hoon. Aur main bohot saare travel companies ko own karti hoon. Aur Koslu, yeh meri behen nahi ho sakti. Hum ek jaise nahi dikhte hain. Bigg Boss ne galati kar di. *looks at Baba* Aap hi bataiye kya main iss Kokila Modi jaisi dikhti hoon?
Baba: Ummmm..abjjsjs...nahi Meenu..tum nahi.....
Abir: Baba, jhoot mat boliye. Yeh bilkul Maa jaisi dikhti hai. *with a smirk*
-----
Shwet: Who is this LS downmarket woman?
Kuhu: Tumhe yaad nahi ki tum yaha English nahi bol sakti? Anyway, bolti raho..aur ek week yaha bitaogi tum.
Shwet: Shut up maggie...tumhe uss Gopi Vahu aur uski Maaji ke saath yaha lock hona chahie tha. Next time, agar main yaha aaungi toh sirf Kunal aur Abir ke saath.
Kunal: Shut up! Abhi hume pata lagana padega ki Mishti uss Gopi Vahu ko humare against bhadkane ki koshish kar rahi hai ya nahi.
Ketki who had just come to the bars to meet the inmates: Bhai, aap phirse Mishti ke baare mein soch rahe ho? Kabhi kabhi lagta hai aap Mishti se nafrat nahi pyaar karte ho.
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Kokila is with Gopi by the washbasin in the washroom and Meenu is with Parul in the bedroom. Both are simultaneously talking.
Meenakshi: Main Meenakshi Rajvansh
Kokila: Main Kokila Modi
Meenakshi: Pran leti hoon ki main
Kokila: Pran leti hoon ki main
Meenakshi: Uss Kokilaben Modi ko
Kokila: Uss Meenakshi Rajvansh ko
Meenakshi: Iss ghar se nikal kar rahungi. Yeh mera vaada hai aapse. Aap mera saath dengi na?
Kokila: Iss ghar se nikal kar rahungu. Yeh mera vaada hai tumse. Tum mera saath dogi na?
Parul: Bilkul BenBa.
Gopi: Ji Maaji.
Gopi: Lekin maaji hum karenge kya🤔
Kokila: mujhe us meenu jaise Banna padega...no pallu...shudh gujju mix with English ...badi bindi nahi awaz mein zyada bhar nahi halka tone ...tabhi Abir k baba mujhse pyaar karenge shayad ..unhe modern aurte pasand hai😊
Parul: Lekin benba hum karenge kya🤔
Meenu: mujhe us Kokila jaise Banna padega...sar pe pallu...shudh gujju ...badi bindi aur awaz mein zyada bhar laana padega ...tabhi Abir k baba mujhse pyaar karenge shayad ..unhe gharelu aurte pasand hai😊
Gopi vahu: toh kya karenge maaji...🤔
Kokila:.mere Baal kal straight karna tum...🙂
Parul: toh kya kare benba🤔
Meenu: mere balon mein kal juda bandhna...tum 🙂
____________________
*Shaam 6 baje*....
*Mishbir sitting in the garden area...gopi joins them...kuku and shwet still in jail trying to hear*
Gopi: Kem cho abir bhai...misti Ben...😍
Mishti:. Aapka swagat hai Gopi ji...kaisi hai aap...itni bhaari saari pehen k garmi nahi Hoti?🙂
Kunal: dekha dekha...Mishti ne Kam shuru kar diya... friendly hone ki koshish kar Rahi hai🙄🧐
Shwet: haa...Lekin gopi dumb hai...😂
Kuhu:. Tum logo ke kapde dekh k unhe judge Karti ho shame on you... Shwet🙄
Shwet:. Ohhh....make up ki dukan...kapde se nahi ...jo ladki Abir Ko bhai bulaye...vo dumb nai toh kya hai... hahahahaha...hai na Kunal *tries to give hi fi*😜
Kunal: *moves away*.... Tum na mere se friendly mat ho...sabne milke mujhe jail mein daala hai...aane do Salman Ko...mein bataunga rule kon todta hai...🙄
Shwet: main tumhare bhale k liye keh Rahi Hun...main toh finale tak jaane vali Hun...mere saath rahoge to fayde mein rahoge...😉
Kuhu: vo mera pati hai...line marna bandh karo🙄
Shwet: sabko pata hai Naam ka pati hai... honeymoon pe ek kiss bhi nahi hua tumhara......alwlelelelee😊
Kuhu: shwweeeet....*throws a pillow*....*sees cookies under the pillow *......yeh lo...dekh lo rule kisne toda...bhukdiiii shwet...🙄
_______________
Gopi: nahi nahi...aadat hai misti Ben...raat Ko halki saree pehenti hu...Abhi sikhane Rakhi hai...😊
Mishti: acha Lekin jagah toh nahi bachhi...Kahan sukhai saree aapne...🤔
Gopi: microwave mein misti Ben😊
Abir:😮
Mishti:😟
*Hear a sound thaaaaaa...from the kitchen*
All run to the kitchen. Just when they go to the spot. Bigg Boss announces.
Bigg Boss: Bigg Boss chahte hain ki ghar ke captain Baba issi vaqt confession room mein aaye.
Baba goes inside.
Baba: Ji Bigg Boss.
Bigg Boss: Baba, ghar ke ek sadasya ne Bigg Boss ke camera ko haani pahuchayi hain. Unhone sabun se Captain ke room mein jitne bhi cameras hai unhe dho diye hai. Aap iss ghar ke captain hain issliye yeh aapki zimmedari hain ki aap kisibhi sadasya ko iss tarah ghar ka nuksaan karne se roke. Unhone jo rasoighar mein abhi tabayi machai hain, uske liye Bigg Boss iss baar maafi dete hain. Lekin khabardaar, aainda agar kisi bhi sadasya ne aise Bigg Boss ke ghar ko nuskan pahuchaya toh ve dand ke patra honge.
Baba: Sorry Bigg Boss. Hum abse dhyan rakhenge.
Bigg Boss: Aap jaa sakte hain.
Baba goes out.
Baba: Sabhi living room mein ekatrit hojaye.
Everyone sits on the sofa.
Baba: Bigg Boss ne warning di hain. Kokila Ji aapki bahu ne naak mein dum karke rakha hain. Microwave ke saath jo kiya so kiya.. lekin Gopi ne mere room ke cameras ko saabun se dho diya. Bigg Boss bohot hi angry ho gaye hain. Bola hai ki next time voh punishment denge.
Kokila: Gopi Vahu, aiya aao.
Gopi vahu goes closer to Kokila.
Kokila: Mere aankhon mein dekhkar kar sach sach batao. Yeh sab tumne kiya hain? Daro mat. Agar tumne nahi kiya hai aur agar yeh kisi aur ne kiya hai tumhe phasane ke liye toh main tumhare liye ladungi *looks at Meenu while saying this*
------
Shwet: Oh God. I can't control my curiosity. Mujhe janna hain kya chal raha hai andar.
Kuhu: Haan. Kuch drama ho toh tumhe sabse pehle pata lagana rehta hai. #GossipAunty
Shwet: Kya kaha tumne? Aunty? Aunty hogi tum Kunal aur Abir ki.
Kuhu: Shweeeeee *picks up hay from the floor of the jail and throws it at Shwet*
The hay hits Kunal instead.
Kunal: Urrghhhhhhh DUMB KUHU
Shwet starts laughing. Kuhu frowns.
Kunal: DUMB SHWET.
Kuhu laughs.
Shwet: Oh God. Mujhe yaha se nikalna hi padega. No point in staying with these idiots.
Shwet stretches the bars and climbs up and successfully passes her body through the bars.
Kunal, Kuhu: SHWEEEEEETTT...ruk jao..yeh kya kar rahi ho.
Shwet runs to the living room.
Everyone: Shweta?!!!
To be continued...
Edited by Onyourface - 4 years agoYou can call me suggu 🤗
Dhanyavad vaishu...mazze dene ke liye team nautanki hamesha taiyar😎
❤️
Thank you Nautanki team for this. Too hilarious. I was totally imagining all the characters in the BB house.
Waiting for the next part.
Thank you so much Baba Samy . You so wanted to read this I know 😃😎
🤗
Sure sure...next part..very soon !
Hi suggu ..you can call me uru...🤗
And congrats for being a goldie 😊
