Marriages and its stereotypes

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*king*

@*king*

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

Last week we heard our most eligible bachelor in town blabber that he has 1000's of options with young galz ready to accept him but Delnaaz has no such options.

Now we all know Rajeev and apart from himself no one ever takes him seriously. So we can safely ignore Rajeev.

The bone of contention is this notion that a divorced/widower man can easily get remarried but a divorced/widow woman cannot get remarried easily. Is this really the case? Does it reflect acroos the cross-section of the society?

Would love to hear your opinions on this subject.

PS: You can also mention about other marital stereotypes too.

*king*

Edited by *king* - 13 years ago

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crazy4fawad

@crazy4fawad

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: *king*
Last week we heard our most eligible bachelor in town blabber that he has 1000's of options with young galz ready to accept him but Delnaaz has no such options.

Now we all know Rajeev and apart from himself no one ever takes him seriously. So we can safely ignore Rajeev.

The bone of contention is this notion that a divorced/widower man can easily get remarried but a divorced/widow woman cannot get remarried easily. Is this really the case? Does it reflect acroos the cross-section of the society?

Would love to hear your opinions on this subject.

PS: You can also mention about other marital stereotypes too.

*king*

Yes. It is indeed the case. And It was reiterated to me when a greatly talented cousin sis of mine got divorced at age of 34..and her own close people went around saying that she shud have 'adjusted' and carried on with her abusive husband coz after the divorce...that looser guy will still get a very gud gal to remarry but this fab cousis sis of mine wont coz she is ..well..a 30+ aged girl and a divorcee on top of that! her superb qualities be damned! 🤢

I am not yet married yet and people are after my life tellin me how sad is life for a single woman and she shud 'settle' with any1 n any1 😆 thankfully god blessed me with dollops of solid self confidence and hence these jibes dont affect me at all! but if i come to think of it..there isnt a single day when a person doesnt spare a chance to advise me on the 'benefits' of being married..without knowing a thing abt me 😛😛 esp in india..ur neighbour and every1 n any1 is ur so called well wisher and they lovvvee to advise!😆😆😆

and yes indian society is heavily biased in favor of men! single , unmarried, divorced or widow women are considered lower in social standing as compared to a single, unmarried, divorced man or windower . Telling from 1st hand experience and looking at LOTS of poeple around me.🤢

i cant comment on celebrity world and a divorce is not so much of a shocker there..as compared to normal common man society...but if delu n rajev were commoners..blv me..ppl wud have said rajev toh fir bhi settle ho jayega but 40 saal ki divorcee aurat (delu) se kon shaadi karega...so in a way what rajev said shows the views of the indian society! however sexist it may sound but thats true as well! n if i existed in that common world..some sweet aunt of mine wud have sent me rajev ka rishta saying ki beta divorcee hai but aadmi acha hai..uski biwi badi kharab thi ..isliye divorce ho gaya! 😆😆😆😆

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chocobear

@chocobear

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

Yepp. That's the sad case jee. A 40 year old guy can find a nice wife for himself but a girl cannot. a divorced woman is looked down by our lovely society. She is treated unfairly and people don't think too highly of them. A widower too doesn't has too many options and if the widower/divorcee has any kids then it's too hard for them to find a match for them and it's quite difficult to start a life all over again.

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*king*

@*king*

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: chocobear
Yepp. That's the sad case jee. A 40 year old guy can find a nice wife for himself but a girl cannot. a divorced woman is looked down by our lovely society. She is treated unfairly and people don't think too highly of them. A widower too doesn't has too many options and if the widower/divorcee has any kids then it's too hard for them to find a match for them and it's quite difficult to start a life all over again.

Yeah. If they have kids especially the woman, then it is all the more difficult.

*king*

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Tanasha

@tanasha1993

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

Nice topic king!

Well in Singapore, there isn't really such a problem since both men and women, whether divorced or widowed, move on in life with the same ease but in India I think its a different case... Like whenever I go visit relatives in India, they have the same stereotypes like widowed women and divorced women aren't really able to move on like the men... And it's a rare occurrence in some Indian societies to see something like that happening! But I feel like these stereotypes are dying off and soon we will see a more liberal view across all cultures on women moving on with their lives after being widowed or divorced.

And another stereotype that I feel persists is that the girl should get married at the earliest and the longer it takes for them to get married the less their chances get of tying the knot... While for men it's doesn't matter that much from what I have seen in India when I go there for weddings (though so far not really a problem here in Singapore)

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crazy4fawad

@crazy4fawad

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: *king*

Yeah. If they have kids especially the woman, then it is all the more difficult.

*king*

Yes..a divorcee or widow with kids in indian society is a complete no-no..its actually sad but thats how society operates! and it takes a lot of self belief n confidence to live a happy life when ur in that situation! some of the ppl i know are in such state in life and it feels bad how society alienates such ppl n sometimes even their kids ! 😕

that ways i find wester world much more accomdating! have lived extensively in UK & US and my feeling is that its a equal opportunity thing for men & women there!

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crazy4fawad

@crazy4fawad

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: tanasha1993
Nice topic king!

Well in Singapore, there isn't really such a problem since both men and women, whether divorced or widowed, move on in life with the same ease but in India I think its a different case... Like whenever I go visit relatives in India, they have the same stereotypes like widowed women and divorced women aren't really able to move on like the men... And it's a rare occurrence in some Indian societies to see something like that happening! But I feel like these stereotypes are dying off and soon we will see a more liberal view across all cultures on women moving on with their lives after being widowed or divorced.

And another stereotype that I feel persists is that the girl should get married at the earliest and the longer it takes for them to get married the less their chances get of tying the knot... While for men it's doesn't matter that much from what I have seen in India when I go there for weddings (though so far not really a problem here in Singapore)

Yes..As i said..i havent faced this situation in western world much, and Spore is an asian society but i suppose its equal for both men & women! but sadly..this isnt the case in india. The situation is very slowly changing but society still looks down upon divorced or a 30+ yr unmarried female! a 30+ unmmarried male or divorced guy isnt much of an issue at all!

@bold: Yes this is something which I have strongly faced coz i m 30 n unmmaried n have a very successful career. peopel tell me that correct age to get married is 23! maybe works for others..but when i was 23..i cudnt have imagined being married at all. My view is that I wud want to see the world a bit and experience life n joys of my career before getting married ..but sadly 99% of indian society doesnt share my view 😆😆 people dont spare a chance to tell u ki career ka achar daloge kya! 😛 bache paida ho jane chahiye b4 ur 30! thts all that matters in life!

n stereotypes dont stop at marriage only...

if ur married, u definitely shud have kids. In case u are not having kids, it is everybodys concern..neighbours will be curious to know what are the medical issues that ur having! 😆😆 blv me..it actually happens! \

N Yes this is a nice topic ! 😊

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

So you did make the topic King. Let's see how this one goes.

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MsFoodyTwoShoes

@MsFoodyTwoShoes

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

my fathr's frnd who hav two kids is around 42 just married few days back..as his wife was died of cancer...even he was gettng youngr girls..bt he chose a divorcee woman 35+ with a daughtr...it depends upon the ppl i guess...in our society..woman usualy spent their lyf alone aftr the divorce or death

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567043

Suspended

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: *king*

Yeah. If they have kids especially the woman, then it is all the more difficult.

*king*

There ARE exceptions! I was a mother with two children-a toddle and a baby in arms- when I got divorced at the age of 28. I found a wonderful man( when the kids were older) and got married when I was 39** and he was 47...**Edited to correct my age!!

But I think for the majority of Indians, living in a fiercely patriarchal society,ruled by hide bound traditions,it IS difficult. It may be kind of acceptable in the bigger cities...but 98% of the population lives in villages where women who have left or been abandoned by their husbands are termed as loose characters by the men and considered a threat to their marriage by the other women in the village.Widows,of course are at the bottom of the pecking order and shunned.

In the village where I live-widows are forbidden to participate in any weddings, celebrations, festivals. We recently elected a woman sarpanch(by default-husband was sarpanch & he died-The first thing she did was to invite ALL the widows in the puja the village had organized to felicitate her...so there ARE changes but they are SOOO slow,far in between that it will take eons to change societal mind-sets...

Edited by znursingh - 13 years ago

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