MiNeil OS Bewajah
As Neil Oberoi looked at his wrist watch he noticed he has arrived in time at airport to catch his flight. He was always punctual, hard worker and disciplined guy and highly ambitious. He came from a middle class family but his dreams were big, bigger than his relationships whether with his parents or friends or ....her. And he didnt stop for more than few seconds to grieve on their loss because he hated to waste time, the time that could be used in making more money to fulfill his ever growing greed for power and position.
But now that today he has reached to that position, it all seemed waste to him. The ever alluring power has no charm left, the greed has been diminishing and lost the luster, the money is not the reason for his happiness anymore. In his race to the zenith, he has forgotten the fact that there is loneliness at the top and now it was catching up to him. The one person he regrets most leaving behind in his blind race was her. But he knew, its been a very long time now. He has left her far behind and probably never going to find her again.
Hijr-i yaaraan na sata be-wajah
Hijr-i yaaraan na sata be-wajah
Ban gaya tu kyoon wajah be-wajah
Ban gaya tu kyoon wajah be-wajah
He may have this fact inked in his mind but what would he do with his heart? His heart was constantly reminding him of her absense. He was somewhat used to this void feeling now and learnt to live with it but dont know why his heart was not showing even a little mercy on him since few days. It was like he was remembering her at every beat of his heart. His heart was restless, edgy for her for no reason and he had to repeatedly rein his wandering thoughts about the time spent with her. He knew there is no respite. He didnt know where she is now, what she is doing, whether she has moved on in life or not....definitely she must have moved on, its been more than 5 years after all.
Dil se kah waqt ruk ja paagal
Dil se kah waqt ruk ja paagal
Chal paṛa karne ye wafa be-wajah
Neil was lost in his thoughts when there was an announcement made about his flight getting delayed for three hours due to bad weather.
"F**k! Why? I hate waiting to board flights." He cursed and then walked to the VIP lounge. As he entered there, cool ac air touched his face giving relief from humid climate and he calmed down.
Main use bhool chuka, bhool chuka
Main use bhool chuka, bhool chuka
Main use bhool chuka, bhool chuka
Baat ay dil na badha be-wajah
Baat ay dil na badha be-wajah
Hijr-i yaaraan na sata be-wajah
He took a seat and took a magzine for time pass. After some time an attendant came to him to ask if he wants to have something. At first he was about to say no but then another memory of her struck him out of no where and he traveled back to the time when he had just started earning enough money to afford business class travel and access to these kind of VIP lounges at airport. It was supposed to be their honeymoon trip to kashmir and she had for the first time entered at the airport with him. She was awestruck with the facilities, cleanliness, large area and parked planes. There was a child like excitement on her face and her cheeks had the hue even darker than the color of her chuda. She was appalled at the over priced items at airport and denied to order anything inspite of being hungry. He had first laughed at her then assured that they can afford it only then she has placed an small order of hot coffee.
Naam lene ka iraada bhi na tha
Naam lene ka iraada bhi na tha
Naam lene ka iraada bhi na tha
Chal pada zikr tera be-wajah
Chal pada zikr tera be-wajah
"Excuse me sir. would you like to have something, some tea or coffee or anything to eat?" Attendant asked again as Neil has still not replied anything.
Neil remembered her love for coffee was epic. He often used to make fun of her that she must have born in coffee plantation. Neil smiled as the face she always made when he made fun of her, came in front of his eyes. He decided to order coffee to honour that memory. Not just plain simple coffee, she was very particular about it. Neil thought of drinking her favorite coffee and as he opened his mouth to say something he heard someone else was ordering coffee.
Un se milne ki wajah koyi nahi
Un se milne ki wajah koyi nahi
Un se milne ki wajah koyi nahi
Dhoondata kyoon hai wajah be-wajah
Dhoondata kyoon hai wajah be-wajah
Hijr-i yaaraan na sata be-wajah
Ban gaya tu kyoon wajah be-wajah
"I would like to have hot coffee. Strong, only two spoons of milk, pinch of cinnamon powder and two spoons full of sugar."
Neil's heart skipped a beat. Exactly same order, same voice. Could it be possible....he turned around to see the owner of that voice. And as he turned a whiff of his perfume traveled with the ac air and reached upto the owner of that familiar voice. She forgot to breathe after that. She closed her eyes to calm her racing heart. Same perfume, same restlessness in her heart like he is very near. Could it be possible?
Both turned at the same time and for them time stopped there only. After so many years, they were face to face. Lots of unsaid things that left on their lips, the never said goodbye, the pain which became the constant companion, the emptiness that mocked them, the longing settled in the eyes.
It seemed like their eyes were already engaged in their own conversation and the moment will last forever until the attendant who was now tired of being patient broke the silence. "Sir, excuse me. Would you like to have anything?"
"I want the same coffee what she has ordered." Neil replied to shoo him away.
"Minnu...you here? Gosh! I am seeing you after....almost 5 years." Neil whispered more to himself than to her all the while scanning her petite form to notice how much she has changed or is she still the same. He didnt find much difference except that her big doe eyes were now behind black cat eye framed glasses.
"5 years 6 months 12 days to be exact, Neil." Minni replied but she regretted it immediately as she thought she was supposed to move on from their failed marriage long ago and remembering exact count of the days will only show she is hopelessly stuck in the past.
Neil was shocked at her statement. Really they are living alone since all these years. Them, who thought they cant live without each other for even a day have passed such a long time. The shock of statement was so much that his mind didnt process the feeling behind it much.
Neil stood up from his place and pulled a sofa chair in front of her then he stopped himself. Will she be interested in talking to him?
"May I...join you?" He asked nervously.
Minni stayed silent for sometime. Was she ready for this? All those initial days after their divorce when she cried herself to sleep, his memories which were haunting her, the pain that he chose his ambition over her love, the past she had left behind with difficulty now all of a sudden standing right in front of her and asking for permission to enter in her life again.
"Really! Who are you fooling here? He never left your thoughts. Residing in the beautiful memories of your marriage to painful pangs of divorce, from shadowing your mind to ruling your heart, Neil Oberoi was always present in your life. You may feel you have moved on but have you really? Have you not locked all those memories in a deep down corner of your heart but refused to let them go?" Minni was in dilemma as if fighting to form a reply.
Neil took her silence as no. Why would she be interested in chatting with him? What has he given her? He was her egoistic, over ambitious husband who didnt care a damn about her feelings and priorities and she is definitely better off without him.
As he was about to turn again and go but she gave him hope. "Yes....yes please sit down." And as if a drowning man got lifebuoy, Neil grasped the opportunity before she changes her mind.
"You...you have not changed much. Just these glasses." Neil started the conversation.
Minni suddenly felt conscious of her looks. She tried to take off her glasses when Neil stopped her.
"No..no please...I didnt mean to embarrass you. Your specs looks good on you. You are still as beautiful as you were when I last saw you at the court." Neil replied and then bit his lip. He cursed himself for reminding them most bitter and painful day of their lives, the day their divorce was finalised.
Minni did look hurt by the mention of it but then she quickly recovered as his full sentence sunk in. He still found her beautiful.
"But you look like a changed person." Minni now commented as she gave him a proper look, drinking in his persona. He still have those sharp, handsome features, smile which could melt ice and eyes which could drown even titanic in their depth. But something had definitely changed in him...may be demeanor. He doesnt seem to be that ever wanting, incomplete, dissatisfied person. He seemed more calm and composed now.
"I dont know, may be time changes some of us for good." Neil shrugged.
"So...hows life? How have you been?" Minni asked to further the conversation.
"All good. My company making money as usual. High share prices, high morals, high...." Neil left the sentence incomplete. He didnt know what to say more. Whats there in his life to share? She was the only thing which added value to his life. After her, its only him and his ambition. He thought he will be happier once he become millionaire but he feels no one is as poor as him now. He lost the most valued possession of his life, that is, his love, his wife.
"Oh yes, I forgot. I heard you won Businessman of the year award. How can anything go wrong in Mr. perfectionist's life. Everything must be good." Minni replied a little hurt by the answer. What was she expecting that he will cry in front of her and confess how his life has been miserable without her, Minni scolded herself for even thinking on those line.
"So what's up with you?" Neil now made an inquiry. He was amused that Minni who didnt follow business news, in fact hates it, knows about his award. Is she still interested in him?
"Nothing much. Completed my post graduation, joined professor's job at degree college...same old middle class boring life." Minni answered as less as possible. She didnt want him to find out that she feels like half dead from inside without him. A part of her keeps yearning for him and other part keep pitying on her for her state.
"Yes, you always wanted to go in teaching line." Neil commented and was happy that she fulfilled her dream but it was disappointing that she is leading her life normally without missing even a trace of him. What was he thinking? That she will be missing anything about him or their married life. He cursed himself for thinking this.
The conversation was disturbed by the attendant as he brought their coffee. Both of them took it as an excuse to hide their real feelings from showing up.
Both of them were silent for sometime not knowing what to say when there was a loud thunder in the sky and Minni almost jumped from her seat. She dropped her hot coffee on her hand and winced in pain.
"Oh my God! What are you doing? You should have been careful." Neil scolded her as before she could take care of mess she created he had taken charge of the situation and already on his knees in front of her and cleaning her hand and dress with paper napkin.
Minni closed her eyes as he blew air on her hand to soothe the burning pain. The pain no longer felt by her as his touch and care was the only thing occupying her mind right now.
"Are you still afraid of thunders?" Neil asked as he laughed a little remembering her fear.
Minni was angry when she heard him laugh. He always used to make fun of her fear of thunder. He used to say she is like typical hindi film heroine.
"Ok...ok...I wont laugh, I promise." Neil managed to say controlling his laughter.
"Jhoote vaade karna to tumhari aadat rahi hai hamesha se." Minni blurted before she could have think. She couldnt help but remember how he used to make false promises of giving her more time. She closed her eyes as she noticed his expressions. There was a guilt for which she was kind of happy but there was sadness too which she didnt want right now. They have met after so long and she didnt want to scratch old wounds.
They were in the same position when there was another thunder louder than previous and it made Minni tremble. Neil sensed she is scared.
"Come, lets sit over there." Neil said pointing towards three seater sofa and without waiting for her answer pulled her with him.
First they sat at a hand's distance with Neil assuring her to calm down. But as the thunder kept growing louder the distance kept reducing until Neil was side hugging Minni and her one hand was resting on his chest. They both have closed their eyes and letting the feeling sink in. They were really close, drawing warmth from each other, feeling the closeness creating a havoc of intense feeling of love that they had buried down. It was her left hand on his chest and Neil kept his hand over hers thats when he realized she was wearing a ring on her ring finger. Not just any ring. She was still wearing their engagement ring.
As Minni noticed her vulnerability has been exposed to him. She withdrew her hand immediately and distanced herself from him. She was not ready for the display of her yearning. She stood up embarrassed to face the reality but he caught her hand. She turned around dreading his reaction. She almost imagined there will be a sarcastic smirk on his face or may be pity but what she didnt expect was the same vulnerability.
As Neil loosened his shirt sleeves, opened the button and jerked his wrist to show the bracelet which he still wore. Minni immediately recognized it as the same one she had gifted him on their first anniversary. Is he still waiting for the time to turn back where they can go back in the past and never let go of each other? Does he still have those feelings for her? Is she not a fool alone to nurture feelings for him? Lots of questions filled her mind and she silently took her place beside him again.
"Not a day goes when I dont think what had gone wrong between us? Why we have to part ways? What could have I done to stop you?" Neil confessed first breaking the silence.
Minni took a pause for shedding few tears which were long settled on her eyelids. "We chose every other trivial thing over each other. You chose your ambition of having your own startup, shifting to Mumbai. I chose to complete my PD from Patiala itself and leading a simple life." Minni answered.
"Had I chose to work from Patiala and gave equal importance to you, our personal life...then..." Neil left the sentence incomplete as he imagined the scenario where two of them would have been happily married.
"Had I not been stubborn to complete education from Patiala and shifted with you to Mumbai....then..." Minni did the same.
"I forgot no matter how much money I earn, it all be wasted if I dont get to spoil you by buying gifts for you. I ran so fast that I left you behind and now I am lost somewhere." Neil shared his regret.
"And I didnt think the simple life I always preferred will be nothing short of nightmare if its devoid of you. You were running and I was stuck to the ground, refused to run along. Now I am stuck in the hopelessness." Minni shared her point of view.
"People say move on. You are handsome, rich, you can get any girl. Start life, start family again but who would tell them that you were my family and ever since you have left no idea of family has ever crossed my mind." Neil confessed her importance in his life.
"Relatives are always bringing one or other marriage proposals for me. Friends ridicules me for still have feelings for you but how can I explain this to them that for me love meant Neil, marriage meant to share life with Neil. I wont be able to change this definition ever." Minni cried her heart out.
"Then why did you leave me?" Neil asked in frustration.
"And why didnt you stop me?" Minni threw counter question.
"You could have come back." Neil still showed his anger.
"You could have call me back." Minni also put allegation on him.
"You..." Neil pointed his finger on her to put another blame but then again there was a thunder in the sky and this time Minni didnt hesitated before throwing herself in his arms. He forgot what he wanted to say and took her a tight embrace almost hiding her in himself.
They stayed like that for few good minutes and then slowly he pulled apart from her, kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes to savour the feeling.
"Jo kuch hua hamare beech. Kitna bewajah tha. Kyu hone diya humne aisa?" Minni asked regretting the time they stayed away.
"Jaise pyar bewajah hota hai waisi hi kabhi kabhi duriyan bhi bewajah hi hoti hain....shayad hume ek dusre ki ahmiyat ka ahsaas dilane ke liye." Neil tried to conclude.
They were lost in each others eyes, still trying to believe that they are finally together again. After more than five years of spearation, complaints, frustration, pain etc. and all it took was few minutes of awkward conversation and miraculous thunder from God to bring them together again.
An announcement broke their eyelock. It was about Neil's flight. It was a boarding call for him.
"Your flight...isnt it?" Minni asked getting upset as she didnt want him to go anywhere.
"Hmm. I have a very important meeting to attend in Delhi. " Neil informed then just ignored it and hugged her again.
Then they heard Minni's flight announcement and boarding call for Minni. "Arent you going?" Neil asked.
"I was least interested. Papa had emotionally blackmailed me into meeting this guy and their family in Delhi for marriage." Minni informed then snuggled up some more into him.
I know a perfect place where we can go together." Neil replied after some time.
Minni was talking over phone to her father Ashok while Neil was talking at the counter, arranging for their tickets.
"WHAT! Are you out of your mind? I can tolerate that you didnt go to meet that boy in Delhi but you met that good for nothing, egoistic, self centered ex husband of yours at the airport and now you are going with him!" Her father has barked over the phone so loudly that few people around Minni have heard everything clearly and gave weird looks to her.
"Calm down papa. Its just Neil, I am not running away with some terrorist." Minni tried to explain.
"It would have been better if he was a terrorist. And how much time did you spent with him exactly? And where the hell you are going with him?" Her father fired one question after another.
"We are going to kashmir." Minni informed as she blushed.
"Kashmir!" Ashok was perplexed.
"Ya, to finally have our honeymoon. Remember, it never happened as Neil had cancelled the trip at the last hour citing the reason of some urgent investor meeting." Minni explained.
"Honeymoon! with NEIL OBEROI! How the hell he convinced you to get you back?" Ashok was now on the verge of pulling his hair.
"Did he need any much of convincing?" Minni replied by question and Ashok was silent now.
The way Minni was talking over phone was enough proof that she is happy, happy from depth of her heart not just a pretense she puts up everytime for the sake of her family and friends. But can this Neil be trusted again? Ashok wanted to ask many questions but Minni didnt care to talk much. Neither did Neil cared to explain anything to his people.
Both of them were tired of explaining, hiding, fighting, yearning. They didnt need any love confession again, not any public display of affection like publicly kissing, singing songs at airports. They just needed to be with each other. It was time for them to live their life again, with each other, loving each other, a life where each and everything was 'bewajah' without each other.
As their flight was announced, they happily boarded the flight to have their much deserved and much needed honeymoon. The thunders had stopped long ago now the sky was clear and sun was shining brightly.
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Bewajah hai duniya ki baatein
bewajah hai ye din ye raatein
Meri zindagi mein tu na ho to
bewajah hai meri ye saansein
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