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oh, I couldn't able to see my comments before - I did some resetting and it worked
Heartbreak Help
oh, I couldn't able to see my comments before - I did some resetting and it worked
No sir/ma'am...I'm 19...I will start college next year...I will move out of the house then (will take up hostel)...but right now, I am preparing for competitive exams at home and am not able to find a way to create any sort of distance...
Originally posted by: Sutapasima
I would advise you to concentrate on your upcoming competitive exams n avoid distractions. I can understand your situation as I have been through same as am a professional .
Go to another location during the girl's working hours / study at friends place / gymming with friends is good idea/ jogging /swimming etc .
Once you are financially independent you go ahead n marry the girl who loves you.
Thank you for the advice...means a lot...but I just wanted to ask...isn't there any other way out? I mean, there is atleast 10 months left before I go to college...I don't think I will be able to avoid her everyday for the next 10 months. It is tiring. Not to mention it affects my studies too...everyday I wake up to study and after some time I get distracted and before I know it I am pre-planning to get ready and leave as soon as possible...
It has reached a point where now, I just want her to go away from my life so that I can finally move on. Also I can't ask my parents to fire her because 1) they will ask why and I won't have a reply and 2) This may cause her financial instability which is something I would never want...she is just here to do her job right? The problem is with me, not with her so that option is also out of the window...
Even though it's been more than a month since I posted this, I still visit this thread regularly, so if anyone seeing this has anything else to share, please do not refrain to do so...your advice might help me a lot:)
Originally posted by: Sutapasima
let’s try another strategy .
Address her as your elder , try saying “hello “ , may be in your mom’s presence initially …and try talking to her instead of running away .
I understand what you're trying to say, but I just don't have the courage to do it (I've talked about this in a previous reply)...also I will creep her out if I do this...atleast I think I will. I know I can't have it both ways. I know that either I would have to talk to her or keep running away forever. But I don't think I want to be in this 'do or die' situation, I think I will find it best if she goes away from my life, which I don't see happening anytime soon, so it brings me back to square 1 again.
Originally posted by: No2Pencil
Oh boy! You still looking for a solution - man, aren't you persistent? Interestingly, you are getting closer to your college days which should be a sigh of relief and you can start looking forward to it. Firstly, You are stressing way too much and have already made an assumption that she will feel uncomfortable. Just talk to her as an average person, with general questions, nothing too out of place. If she creeps out, that's her problem, not yours - as long as you're within your boundaries. And, Honestly, the real problem is not your maid but your anxiety. Harnessing anxiety is a long-term thing, it's not something you can control it in a day. If you have the courage to do exposure therapy kinda thing - which is exposing someone that they fear the most - and your issue is talking; like I said before, talk like an average person - you'll actually feel much better.
Thanks for the reply:) Yes, I'm still here...It's true that I'm finally gonna go to college, there's still about 5-6 months left for that, I hope I will be able to hold on till then...I am trying to concentrate on my studies...I will give everyone an update when I will finally be away from her:)
It's true that I am assuming a lot of things here, but even if none of it is true, I don't have much to say to her you know? What do I talk about? She is just here to do her job right? There is no point in me randomly walking up to her and start talking about stuff...don't you think? Another thing is that I don't want to get further attached to her...you can know a lot about a person with just a small conversation with him/her, I don't want to give my brain more reasons to amplify the infatuation...Additionally, whenever she's working and I'm at home, I've noticed that she becomes nervous around me but is fine with other people in the house. I don't know why is that...I try not to do anything that would make her uncomfortable and just mind my own business so it's definitely some other reason...I've also caught her looking at me sometimes, I don't know why she does that too...So I hesitate to speak with her in order to not apparently make her more nervous.
A friendship will only bind me closer to her., I don't want that, it's already hell...When I go to college, hopefully somewhere far away from her, I would want to move on and this would only make it all the more difficult, I believe...
Obviously it's my fault, had I been more socially active ( like I was back in 10th grade), then this wouldn't be that big of an issue and would have been your regular teenage stuff which would have faded eventually...I realize that, and plan to be more open and make friends in college.
Right now, if I start to work on this (like therapy etc.), it would take a lot of work and energy which would be better used if it's channeled towards my academics which has already taken a significant hit because of this situation. I don't think I have access to therapy anyway:(
Originally posted by: No2Pencil
Good luck with your exam - I wish you very well.
You've endured so far, and I am sure you will be able to handle it in the future too. Homesick is normal, but you will be over that too - college life is exciting, so make the most out of it. No point in telling anyone, especially now when you're about to start on your new journey. Don't underestimate yourself, and you're far stronger than you think.
Thank you:)
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