Swapna, Updates on the Kids - Page 10

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MahikaL thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#91
I so know how you feel, Swaps. Sending you a big hug. I go through these phases where I cry whenever I am alone, and can't see a way out of this thicket. Am grateful when they pass, but it's hard to keep on being upbeat all the time.

I had a cry when my BIL's son turned a year old, and we heard how much he enjoyed his cake and all the attention. My husband saw me sitting on the stairs and having a silent weep, and he sat next to me and held my hand till I felt better. Of course I am thrilled that the other kid had a great time, but one can't help feeling weary.

Also yesterday, my 2 year old niece came on the phone to sing Happy Birthday. She sang perfectly, and my son said Aaah--Aaaah back. At those times, I wish for a heart of stone so I wouldn't have any feelings.

All the best with telling Rish. Don't worry about the sibling thing at all, Swaps. There are days when I feel I do justice to neither child, and my Sisyphean burden is insane. My son has that self-centred trait which so many autistic kids have, and my daughter clings more to me because she wants me to give more time to her. We divide and conquer during the week, so that each child gets the attention they need. I think Rish is a very lucky guy, to have his mother by his side for everything, big and small, and you are probably the rock star in his world.

The little guy seems to have had a great birthday. He came home like a conquering hero. We had sent him to school in a nice kurta-pyjama, and he was admired enthusiastically by the teachers, who worked hard to keep him clean all day.😆 We sent treats for his friends, and mithai for the teachers, and they in turn gave him a very sweet birthday crown. He was really sleepy after all that, and fell asleep mid-prayers.

Keep us posted as to how things go for Rish. Swaps, though we have never met, I feel like we are friends. Take care, okay?

Mahika.


s.munagala thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#92
Hi folks,
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend so far! Am watching the finale of Ll Champs right now, it's being telecast live on Zee over here. :) Am rooting for Yadharth. :)
We told Rish about Neelesh last night, and it went relatively well. We told him that since Neelesh had a big "boo boo" in his body, the doctors could not help him anymore and he had to go to God to live in heaven in the sky with Rish's grandmother and friend, and God wanted him to stay there. He was really confused about it for a bit, and kept telling us that Neelesh lives in Houston with his family, but then he finally accepted that he was with God after we told it to him a few more times. He is still talking about Neelesh and Varati's family all by name, but he seems to have accepted that Neelesh is not there anymore. He does not seem upset per se, except for the fact that he keeps talking about them. I think he'll do that for a while, and it may be his way of coping with the news, but I can't be sure since he does not express things like "typical" kids. Anyway that's how it went... not too stressful thank God, and I am glad he does not seem really distressed about it so far.
Mahika thanks SO much for your words of comfort. You are one of the few who really can understand what I go through since you are sailing in the same boat. You're so right in calling it a "Sysiphean burden" (for those unfamiliar with the reference, it pertains to a Greek myth about a man named Sysiphus who angered their Gods and was punished by making him push a boulder up a mountain each day, only to have it roll back down every night and he has to push it back up again, for all eternity), since it seems like we have to overcome so many obstacles only to encounter more and more as we go along in a neverending saga. I worry so much about what will happen when he grows up and whether he'll ever really be able to live independantly, and how he'll cope when Suresh and I are no more. He's an only child, and even though his cousins adore him, I don't know what the future has in store for him, and it terrifies me.
Most of the time I can push the negative thoughts aside and focus on the progress he's making, but every so often they seem to overwhelm me, and I break down. Thanks for understanding that and NOT trying to console me with meaningless words like, "he'll be fine, just you see, he'll become normal", since the fact is he IS autistic and will remain so for his entire life, unless some miracle happens and they find a total cure. Those words only seem to make things worse since they can't come true. I'm sure you know what I mean, right Mahika? Although I know the others do mean well and they come from from a good place, it only seems to make me feel worse. I hope I'm not sounding ungracious for the sentiments of the people who only are trying to help me, but I'm stating what I feel. I hope that people can understand it.
Take Care everyone,
Swapna
s.munagala thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#93
BTW, if you recall I had told everyone that I have a pic of my son planting a kiss on me right next to my beside 😃... I've updated my profile pic wit that picture. He was 2 & 1/2 years old at the time and we were unaware of his disorder then... good times!!! 😃
Swaps
MahikaL thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#94
OMG, he is such a CUTIE!!!❤️ What a mom milestone, and how wonderful to have a photo record of it!!!!! Thanks for sharing, Swaps. That is just so touching.

BIG HUGGGGG to you. There is nothing else we can do sometimes except vent it out and ask for some understanding. I feel bad at those times; because my son has no voice, it seems like I am making it about me, and I would hate to even unknowingly overshadow his daily struggles. But sigh, every once in a while, the heart has to let it out or explode. Well, at least we have our little support system here.😛

I've been teaching the little fellow to give hugs. He seems to like it, and he surprised my husband by giving him a spontaneous hug last night at bedtime. It was really sweet. The other thing he likes is when he comes home from his run with his father, he likes me to say, "HIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and rush to welcome him. If I am out, or not downstairs, he gets a bit peeved because he likes the big welcome.
Yesterday evening, I took my daughter for a class, and when we got back, this guy was already in his jammies, and a bit whiny, so I had to say HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII really loudly and then his face got all smiley. And today at lunchtime, same situation, when we got home, he ran up to US and shouted, "AYYYYYYY!!" to welcome us. Ohhh, what a moment! We exclaimed over him and adored him, and he lapped it up. 😆

This weather is kind of boring for outings. What are you up to? On a completely unrelated note, do you know how to light a ghee lamp? I am not having any success at all.....

Mahika.


s.munagala thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#95
How cute Mahika, iit's universal to human nature is'nt it, the love of praise and the motivation it gives... no matter what issues anyone has the love of praise is a common thing we all share!!!😆
Thanks for all the support Mahika, it really does mean a lot. As you said, even though we've never met, I do feel like we've become good friends. To be honest, one really does not need to be face to face with each other to form a good friendship right? It's a meeting of minds and sharing common views that make friends bond together, in my opinion. Thanks about the photo too, he really is a cutie is'nt he (even though I am TOTALLY UNASHAMEDLY UTTERLY biased in his favour of course)!!! 😃
The weather really is annoying me... Suresh wants to go play tennis on Saturday mornings, and inevitably it seems like it rains every Saturday!!! We finally got fed up of staying indoors every weekend and went to the Woodbury Commons Outlet mall in New York. It's a really good mall if you've never been there before. I always seem to ge a lot of good deals for Rish's clothes whenever I go there. We got him a lot of good shirts from The Gap, and jeans for $20 each from the Levi's Store. He really needed a good winter jacket as well since he's outgrown his old one (he's growing so fast these days!!!), and we got him one from The North Face, for about $60, which I think is a fairly good deal. We ended up spending the whole day there, and the weather co-operated for a change, although it was a little on the chilly side, at least it did not rain. 😛
About lighting a ghee lamp, my mom always thaws out the ghee in the microwave for a bit before actually lighting the lamp. She makes sure the wick is totally soaked before she lights it too. Hope that helps.
Take Care everyone!
Swapna
P.S. BTW Mahika what are your kids going to be for Halloween? Rish is going as Buzz Lightyear this year. Last year he was Batman and the year before that he was Peter Pan... He was Harry Potter one year as well, and I swear he looked EXACTLY like Harry Potter in the movies (the actor's name is Daniel Radcliffe I think), Harry Potter with a tan anyway. 😆 I drew a scar on his forehead to go with the costume, and got him the wand and all. I think that costume was my favourite one of his so far!!! 😃
Edited by s.munagala - 15 years ago
MahikaL thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#96
Hi Swaps!! I cannot write much now, as I have a wretchedly early start tomorrow, but for Halloween, my daughter will be Kiki from the Fresh Beat Band (can you hear me groaning loudly??), and my son is going to be a rajkumar in a sherwani....😉 He loves wearing Indian clothes, so we figured, why not.

This Kiki outfit sent me hunting for three hours. My feet are falling off. I even got her a wig. HAHAHA! She spent all evening rocking with a toy guitar. My son stared at the wig and turned his back on her, he was so grossed out. 🤣

More later!!

Mahika.


Pallavi_2013 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#97
Hi Mahikal Why don't u come on the Antara show with ur son and share ur experiences because there r many ppl out there who r not members of IF but are viewers of the show and some of them might be having children like ur son.They culd benefit from ur advice.😊
Edited by kavita_1987 - 15 years ago
s.munagala thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#98
Hi folks!
How are everyone doing in the spooky days and nights leading up to All Hallows Eve... 😆!!! Can you tell, I just love this festival here, ever since I was a kid and used to dress up and go trick or treating myself! Rish is taking after me in that department too, all he's talking about lately is putting on his Buzz costume and going out trick or treating with his friends Ishaan & Meghna!!! 😆
This is one holiday that has not been taken up in India if I'm not mistaken, right? It seems like most of the other one's except perhaps Thanksgiving have been, but then Thanksgiving is an American/Canadian historical tradition as I'm sure most of you already know.
I'm wondering what Aditya/Vidya will do to get out of their money issues and also what Sameer will say/do when they return from their honeymoon since Adi took the fall for Sameer's supposed lack of judgement. The scene where Antara burns herself had me so upset as well, since it is so accurate about the whole sensory perseption disorder. My son never used to feel things that were really cold, for the longest time. For example he's be able to hold a large ice cube in his hand closed fist, until it melted completely! We had him in sensory integration therapy for 6 years before he was able to actually process things a little better. He's still not able to accept certain sounds and sights (eg.: if there's a kid or baby around him crying, he'll either burst into tears himself, or cover his ears and run away from the sound), but he's waay better than he used to be. The touch/feel part of his sensory disorder is a lot better though now, he can recognise and stay away from hot and cold things and will react if they hurt.
Mahika, hope you are not so busy now, and your feet are properly relaxed 😃. I hope you had hubby give you a loooooonnnnngggggg relaxing foot massage! 👍🏼
Take Care Everyone,
Swaps
s.munagala thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#99
On a totally different note, does anyone have any good ideas about what to get Rish's teachers/therapists for Christmas this year? I've already done the Godiva Chocs, Body Shop stuff and Starbucks gifts in years past, so any new ideas will be GREATLY appreciated! 😊
Thanks All,
Swaps
h&rblock thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
Swapna,
If you get a chance to - get in touch with an Avon representative & have a look through their Christmas Expressions Catalogue - no it is not a make-up, perfume catalogue. They have really nice gifts at good prices (from cute kitchen towels in Santa outfits to "bar in a bottle" - no it is not alcohol but it is a wine bottle shape case that contains things like a corkscrew, dripping ring etc for the avid wine drinker).
I am not sure how to email you the online link but if you go to the Avon website, just type in your area code & they will give you a name & contact number for the representative in your area & specifically ask for the Expressions Catalogue.
Good luck!
Kalyani
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